Percy: Thanks Nico. You’re The Best.

Sirius: Professor, I really don’t see the point in getting upset over spilled milk.

McGonagall: Why would I be upset? The Slytherin dormitory will be unusable for the next fortnight and one of my students orchestrated it.

Sirius: Actually it was two. Remus was there as well.

Remus: Why would you say that?

Sirius: I just thought it would help cushion the blow if we distribute the blame.

Remus: Cushion who?

Sirius: Me mostly.

Draco: I want a baby soon. You were right. I want a family. I've always wanted a family, and I want one with you because I love you.

Hermione: The man who hates being human wants to make another human?

Draco: Yes, something like that.

McGonagall: I’m sure you’d like to take some weight off your cloven hooves.

Umbridge: Calling me the devil? How original.

McGonagall: Actually, I was calling you a goat, you goat.

[Sirius is hungover]

Remus: You look like a corpse that was pulled out of the lake.

Sirius: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who OD'd in his own pool.

I’m rereading prisoner of azkaban and fully appreciating how wild it is that of all the people ron could have made friends with, it’s the guy whose parents were murdered by his pet rat. 

I'm gay and want to launch Donald Trump into a dying star

reblog if you're gay, not gay, slightly gay, or if you just want to launch donald trump into a dying star

Luna: What about Hermione? Does she ever sleep?

Ron: I think she periodically makes a whirring noise and then just shuts down.

I imagine that's true

Sirius: You know you're not my mum, right?

McGonagall: You stop acting like my child, I'll stop acting like your mother.

Harry, jokingly: And I couldn’t have done it without my sidekick.

Hermione: No offence, but you’re the sidekick.