[...] Neil Wrenched The Broken Bag Off Its Hook. When He Turned To Throw It Andrew Caught His Wrist.

Kill who you want to kill, honey

i want a precanon dazai atsushi meeting fic but they meet like randomly for years--- like dazai will be in the middle of a mission and he'll hear "mummy-sannnn" and atsushi will come in blabbering about how long its been and now dazai has to dodge bullets with atsushi clinging on to his leg

atsushi is just regularly escaping his orphanage or is being thrown around in foster homes idk i didnt think of that part

sdr2 turns 12 years old today! Thanks for dramatically changing the course my life three years ago stupid game im trans now

This is how the series should have ended.

Fight me.

Don't FUCKING argue with me. "Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag. He didn't want the nicotine; he wanted the acrid smoke that reminded him of his mother." Is a fucking dynamite intro!! Is it edgy as fuck? Yeah. So? Is it hella melodramatic? Probably. So? Is it bad writing? Motherfucking NO! It's damn near expert level execution of several writing principles!

Who is the story about? First two words, next question.

Catch the reader's attention as soon as possible? "Why the fuck is he wasting a cigarette?" Intrigue successfully demanded, next question.

Raise questions that will keep the reader hanging long enough to have answered? "Why the fuck does acrid smoke trigger his mommy issues?" + "Wait it's because he burned her corpse??" Many many more questions raised + blind sided reader via preconceived expectations being subverted, next question.

Character establishing moment? What other characters use for physical and emotional regulation, he uses to fucking reminisce and wallow in his feelings, next question.

Set the tone for the rest of the story? Edgy, melodramatic, and emotionally gut wrenching, NEXT. FUCKING. QUESTION!

The Muses asked Nora to roll for Hook and she rolled a nat 20 five times in a row in 30 words or less. Hook, Line, and motherfucking Sinker bitches

Some of y'all need to stop ragging on AFTG's writing and start using it as a fucking case study cus this shit has the addiction capacity of heroine and god help the goddamn saltine cracker throwing stones

A very large aro flag.

The latest bet the Foxes have made is on how long it will take for Kevin to break Neil's phone to keep him offline. The bet that immediately follows is about exactly how fast Kevin can run.

First Previous

Akutugawa who grows to resent Dazai rather than hero worshipping him.

And thus becomes protective from afar over Atsushi.

Because he knows better than anyone how Dazai treats his subordinates.

And as much as it pains him to admit it, Akutugawa doesn't want to see Atsushi's light crumble.

He doesn't see Dazai treating Atsushi better than he treated him as a sign he's changed.

He sees it as a trap.

Atsushi is an open book, he's never been one to hide his trauma or past.

Which means anyone who offers him a hand can use that to exploit him.

And Akutugawa doesn't buy that Dazai truly cares for Atsushi, not one bit.

Akutugawa: You may have everyone else here buying your... transformation. But you and I both know you've struggled to do the right thing in the past.

Dazai: I won't deny that but here I am standing on the side of light. Doesn't that tell you something?

Akutugawa: Only that your loyalty is as breakable as your will to live.

Dazai: Oooh ouch below the belt.

Akutugawa: My apologises, if I had known you were in such a good mood, I'd have gone lower.

Dazai: I taught you well.

Akutugawa: Debatable. I can deal with you, but if you dare to hurt the Jinko...

Dazai: serious I would never hurt Atsushi. On that you have my word.

Akutugawa: Unfortunately your word is meaningless. You may have him fooled but you can't fool me. I know what kind of man you are, and those people never change.

Dazai: You'd be surprised... Since when do you care about my subordinate?

Akutugawa: I don't. But no one, not even my most hated nemises deserves to suffer under your... Tutelage.

Dazai: I admit, I was wrong for that. But I wouldn't hurt Atsushi.

Akutugawa: Good, because if you slip up, if I see the Osamu Dazai I know. If I see one mark on him that I've seen in the mirror...

Clenches his fist at the thought Than I will end your life, painfully with my "useless ability." And we both know much you'd hate that.

Dazai: Not my preferred way to go out, but fair enough. But I swear I won't hurt him.

Akutugawa: For your sake , you better not.

Dazai: I know it doesn't mean anything but, I am sorry.

Akutugawa: Your right, it doesn't.

AU:

Neil doesn’t meet the foxes, he’s instead caught by the FBI

He helps them catch his father and bring down his empire.

One day he’s brought in to Andrew’s lecture as a guest speaker

The Q&A at the end:

Student: Have you ever killed someone?

Neil: There’s two FBI agents at the door who advised me against answering that specific question. There’s your answer.

Student: What’s the best way to get fake documents?

Neil: I’m legally required to say “don’t”.

Student: What’s the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?

Neil: See, that’s a trick question, because if I answer it becomes the most illegal thing I’ve admitted to.

Student: What’s the hardest lie youve ever had to tell?

Neil: “Sure, I’d love to do a Q&A with a bunch of people who are weirdly obsessed with my father and decided to study crimes because they don’t have the balls to commit them.”

Student: Are you afraid your father’s people will come after you?

Neil *at the end of his fucking rope*: No, I feel completely safe. That’s why I’ve got armed federal agents waiting outside.

Student: How’d you get caught?

Neil: First of all, rude. Second, the FBI made a very compelling argument

Student: …which one

Neil: “cooperate or find out exactly how many laws you’ve broken” - said by a guy holding a very thick file. Direct. Effective. Hard to argue while zip-tied to a chair.

Student: What’s something you miss about your old life?

Neil: being able to leave a room without seven cops and a judge asking where I’m going.

Student: If you could do it all over again, would you?

Neil: I’d rather set myself on fire. I know you don’t understand that reference, but trust me when I say it’s funny.

Student: how many identities have you had?

Neil: Simultaneously or in total?

Student: …total?

Neil: enough that I had to check my ID before answering roll call

Student: what’s the worst crime you’ve ever committed?

Neil: do you want me to answer this as Neil Josten or Nathaniel Wesninski? The distinction matters.

Student: Have you ever made someone disappear?

Neil *looking over his shoulder at Browning*: goodness gracious no

Student: How many languages do you speak?

Neil: enough to talk my way out of things… mostly into them, though

Student: Why did you agree to talk to us?

Neil: it was this or community service

He’s as unhelpful as possible.

His entire goal is to waste everyone’s time while making it just interesting enough that no one can call him out on it.

And Andrew? He’s watching. He’s enthralled. He’s interested, and isn’t that odd.

The professor looks like she regrets her entire career. Half the class is too stunned to speak. Browning is wondering if the punishment for beating up the most valuable witness the FBI has in custody would be worth it. (It would)

Anyway long story short. 5 minutes in Andrew’s in love

au where pm dazai is somehow hit by an ability idk idc and travels through different dimensions and meets other happier versions of himself

choose ur favorite like fic or something u made up or anything and put mini dazai in it and imagine how he'd react fjakl