OMG SAME DO IT AND MY LIFE IS YOURS

The snowdrift butcher

*jinglebells menacingly at u*

I love Alfred being sweet and optimistic and golden retriever boy but have you considered how fucking funny it would be for this sweet man to utter the phrase “bitch better have my money.” this hc was brought to you by the fact that DC and NYC have managed to find a loophole in the diplomatic immunity of foreign ambassadors by withholding US aid from the country unless the embassy pays their diplomat’s fucking traffic tickets.

If you’re a diplomat on U.S. soil, you can steal, plunder and murder to your heart’s content without having to face the legal ramifications of your actions. But, by God, you better pay your parking tickets in New York City.

I rest my case. bitch better have my money

Please Stop

Reworking Alfred’s entire character

I’m obsessed with this stupid son of a bitch, let’s get into it

I think too many people make him too uwu nice and forgiving as if most Americans don’t hold life long grudges over a ball game. Or that we can’t be serious at the drop of a hat when it comes down to it. Like when we say fuck around and find out we mean it, which apparently that’s a very American thing. Yes the dumb bitch stereotype is real, but there’s such a “you’re joking right?” attitude among people when it comes to certain things that I think he could go from playful to serious in a second, to the point where it might trip some people up. Especially when it comes to moral issues.

Also I hate that him being super obsessed with his image and how he’s seen by others is interpreted as sad uwu emo boy instead of clean girl maniac Patrick Bateman type of egotistical freak.

He should also be more apathetic and serious about work instead of “omg let’s build a ladder to the moon!” You have not set foot in this capitalistic hellscape if you think that’s an accurate way to characterize him lmao.

On top of that, he’s a fake ass bitch and that should be expanded on. Like he is definitely the type of person that has a million different ways of presenting himself and his personality to the point where he’s not sure who he really is.

He should be a lot more ego driven too. Like “how is this going to reflect on ME” not “I’m doing this ONLY out of the goodness of my big heart uwu”. Not that he can’t or doesn’t care, but if it reflects well on him then he’s more likely to choose that option.

Anyway, this is just some of my thoughts, im sure I’ll add more in the future

(If you characterize him differently that’s fine this is just me rambling and being obsessed)

i wanna start posting

tbh i just wanna get a following before i eventually kill myself at the age of 21 so maybe i'll start posting art

we’re all in agreement that Alfred is a voracious reader and especially loves like political theory/philosophy etc stuff, right? like he was shaped by the Enlightenment, this man probably spends his free time writing essays. he is involved in a million think tanks. he freelances as a lawyer and thinks court cases are genuinely fun. and by god he will not shut the fuck up ever.

turns out Alfred inherited Arthur’s love of language and literature and his supernatural work ethic/productivity. unfortunately he dedicated himself to being a fucking lawyer about it.

Happy birthday tokoyami!!! 🎃✨

Goretober Day 8: Xray

set DIRECTLY after the special

Alfred, as a character and not just a nation, is very intriguing. He’s his brother’s greatest achievement and his greatest disappointment. A failure, but a winner. Put up on a pedal stool from a young age to show off to the rest of the world. He was a catch that everyone wanted, and when he finally got caught, he was paraded around and boasted about like a fancy prize.

People wanted him, but gave up on him as soon as the odds turned against their favor. His family loves the image of him that they created, but are indifferent to how he really is. Rotating between awe and pity and nothing in between. His friends either act like he’s a nuisance or hang off his arm.

He’s needed but scorned. Wanted but pushed away as soon as he’s done with the task, and having them act as they never asked for his help in the first place. As a person, it’s hard not to feel bad for him.