My Mom Just Said That One Of The Things I Ate Had 250 Calories

Y LA QUE FISIQUEEEEEEEEEEEE

How come i wanna tear my hair out, my organs want to get out of my body, I'm gonna infect everybody with what it's going on inside of me I'M DONE WIHMTH BEING CRAZY I DLNT WANT THIS

Girl ... You think I didn't try? I've read way worse things than your childish insults. Graduate school and lmk when you get better material.

Me: -do nothing after binging for 3 days-

My ed: sTARVE YOURSELF

My brain: Don't yoU DARE

Me: -starves-

My brain:

I actually feel numb.

I don't know what else to do now, im scared. My girlfriend told me to do everything calmly, that at the end of the day even the most intelligent people repeat courses. But no, they don't. They get to go ahead to practice, while those who couldn't reach the minimum stay behind. And well, I'm staying behind.

I know I've been thru a lot this year. I've had multiple mental breakdowns, i even got admitted because of a psychotic episode. But i'm so low on respecting myself that to me it just looks like excuses to not work. I know i can do it, that if i wanted to, i could reach the stars. But it feels that even if i try and put my best efforts, it's not enough. I'm still behind.

I just wanted to be a doctor, for gods sake. But i should've just shoot lower and become a teacher or linguist. Forget about that dream of becoming a doctor. I don't have the potential, im not as useful as im supposed to be. People don't trust my habilitet, because i haven't shown any to anybody. I'm not a doctor, I'm just some girl who thought she could become one and was wrong. I'm just some girl who spend most of her adolescence studying to get an scholarship but now can't even stay on the same rythm than anybody else. My dreams never became true.

Ay no, que mala persona soy

THANK YOU, CLASSMATE WHO KNOWS MY TUMBLR, LOVE OF MY LIFE WHO TOLD YOU TO LAUGH OF MY DISTURBING SITUATION *Translation* Me: Man, I'm scared:(, Many porn-dating spam tumblr follow me:(. Some tumblrs are of anas, but aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I'm scared:( Classmate: *lAUGH ABOUT MY DISTURBING SITUATION* Me: DON'T LAUGH ABOUT MY MISFORTUNE SITUATIONS>:( Classmate: I'm sorry, I love you, but it maked me laugh I LOVE YOU BUT STOPPPP:(((((

If I binge is a sin to god, but not for my mom

If I fast is a sin to my mom, but not for god

Ana's hell is waiting for me):

Goodnight

I ate way too much today.. Easter weekend… oh man…

I'm both fresh out of rehab and out of any good judgment