“I Don’t Care If You’ve Got A Dick Or A WAP...”

Learning a language is so wild. Beforehand the language is just some kinda interesting sounding gibberish and squiggles on a page. Just totally opaque. Might as well be Linear A. Afterward it’s like the most obvious thing in the world. Totally self-evident. Of course those words mean those things everybody knows that.

Facts about the English language

English was invented in the year 927 by Lord English of England. Because 927 was a long time ago, he called it "Old English." Lord English of England was German, so the language was mostly just German with a dash of the language spoken by the original inhabitants of England, the Romans.

It became popular to speak English until 1066, when English Island was taken over by a French guy named Norman. Norman insisted everyone speak French, but they didn't know French so he just dropped some French words into the middle of the language and called it "Middle English."

After Middle English, trade patterns and technology such as the printing press and podcast allowed the infusion of numerous other languages, which all melted into English in their own way. Because they melted with each other, the new language was called Modern English. Several sounds and phonetics changed over the years as well, so this was called the era of the Colossal Vowel Movement.

About this time, England did its usual bullshit and colonized pretty much every place on Earth that it could. English thus spread like a linguistic coronavirus across America, Africa, Australia, and Atlantis, which managed to purge the English influence by sinking to its total destruction and thereby avoiding the horrors of having to speak English.

Today, English is the most spoken language on Earth, not because the most people speak it, but because those who do just never shut the fuck up. Several books have also been written in English, including "Fifty Shades of Grey," "A Weasel in My Meatsafe," and "Pounded In The Butt By My Handsome Sentient Library Card Who Seems Otherworldly But In Reality Is Just A Natural Part Of The Priceless Resources Our Library System Provides."

If English were a dress, it would be purple.

kathryn hahn needs an emmy, an oscar, and an international holiday right now.

Actors of color often get typecast. Two photographers asked them to depict their dream roles instead.

How Hollywood Sees Me … And How I Want to Be Seen

Literally the hottest couple in the MCU right now.

the urge i feel to be a librarian at a gothic style academic library walking around the creaky wood floors and climbing ladders to put away books

this album... it’s literally just, like I could drive around and cry but have hope and vibe and it’s like such a new sound but is the sound Demi’s peace and happiness bc of what she’s been through I-