Facts About The English Language

Facts about the English language

English was invented in the year 927 by Lord English of England. Because 927 was a long time ago, he called it "Old English." Lord English of England was German, so the language was mostly just German with a dash of the language spoken by the original inhabitants of England, the Romans.

It became popular to speak English until 1066, when English Island was taken over by a French guy named Norman. Norman insisted everyone speak French, but they didn't know French so he just dropped some French words into the middle of the language and called it "Middle English."

After Middle English, trade patterns and technology such as the printing press and podcast allowed the infusion of numerous other languages, which all melted into English in their own way. Because they melted with each other, the new language was called Modern English. Several sounds and phonetics changed over the years as well, so this was called the era of the Colossal Vowel Movement.

About this time, England did its usual bullshit and colonized pretty much every place on Earth that it could. English thus spread like a linguistic coronavirus across America, Africa, Australia, and Atlantis, which managed to purge the English influence by sinking to its total destruction and thereby avoiding the horrors of having to speak English.

Today, English is the most spoken language on Earth, not because the most people speak it, but because those who do just never shut the fuck up. Several books have also been written in English, including "Fifty Shades of Grey," "A Weasel in My Meatsafe," and "Pounded In The Butt By My Handsome Sentient Library Card Who Seems Otherworldly But In Reality Is Just A Natural Part Of The Priceless Resources Our Library System Provides."

If English were a dress, it would be purple.

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jolzr2

5 months ago

When Agatha and Billy find Tommy I kinda want him to remember everything that happened inside of the hex. He would remember spending time with the Version of Billy in the hex and he’d remember Wanda and Vision as his parents, it would be so good.

Because then we’d have one twin who managed to save himself, but does not have any memories of being Billy nor of Wanda, Vision and Tommy. He can just sense Tommy being around and missing a part of him. Not having these memories Billy has canonically found a new family for himself (Agatha, Williams Parents, Eddie) and he doesn’t see Wanda and Vision as parental figures because he does not remember their love. He only knows what he was told about Wanda and that’s all been awful.

Meanwhile Tommy would only have that. Everything that’d have ever happened to him would be what happened in the hex so he would cling to it. He would beg Billy to remember as well and he would probably hate Agatha for what she did to his mom (at least at first) and not understand how Billy could see her as a mentor / aunt / parental figure.

My point being: Billy wouldn’t see Wanda and Vision as his parents and Tommy would. Thus: The Angst. The Conflict. Tommy trying to get Billy to remember just to realize that the Billy HE remembers ISNT THE CURRENT BILLY.

And BILLY having gone through ABSOLUTE HORRORS to get Tommy back only to be COMPARED to a version of himself that he doesn’t remember over and over AND OVER

OH GOD I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS HEADCANON ALL DAY SOMEONE HELP ME

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jolzr2

11 months ago

dont listen to the part of your brain saying that you can start learning another language even if youre not even fluent in half of the ones you study, thats the devil talking

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agatha all along agatha x rio

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jolzr2

4 years ago

you’re telling me there are people who listen to music and DON’T use it as the soundtrack for the intense cinematic daydream plot they’ve always got playing in the back of their head???

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jolzr2

2 years ago

#this #truth #ts