Still Simping For This Boy... Literally Can't Stop Drawing Him... Help 🙃

Seven and Vandy with an MC who’s in the agency with them?

Thanks for requesting, Anon!!

Seven

-He knew…

-He knew from the very first time you met.

-You were a secret agent, just like him.

-He was scared for your life.

-He knew the risks you probably took

-He knew it was stressful…

-You told him a lot of things about your experiences.

-Honestly, he was the one person you felt like you could count on.

-But you had to keep your guard up and so did he.

-If you were tasked to take each other’s lives, Seven wanted to get you out of the mess that was the intelligence agency.

-But it wasn’t so simple

-If he made even one mistake, it would cost both your lives.

-No matter what happened, he vowed to keep you safe from your sadistic boss.

Vanderwood

-You had become an agent long before you met Vanderwood. 

 -He knew of the risks, at first he didn’t want to even look at you out of fear that someone would kill one of you. 

 -He was paranoid as fuck.

 -Whenever he was around you, he carried a gun… and so did you. 

 -You both hoped you’d never have to use it, but if either of you were tasked to kill each other, neither one of you wanted to die.

-There were days when Vanderwood regretted his decision.. Dating you might’ve been the worst mistake of his life. 

 -But he didn’t care, he loved you, that’s all that mattered. 

 -And if anyone were to try and cut your life short, there would be some major problems.

Hi there... I'm still alive contrary to popular belief..

I forgot about Tumblr... I do that every month

Buuut... fandom shit happened soo let me tell you about it...

I was watching this cute wholesome anime, My Happy Marriage.... and this walking green flag man showed up...

The main male lead, Kiyoka Kudo... and what did my mind immediately jump to?

"H..holy shit that's..... that's...."

"THAT'S SHINYA HIRAGI"

And now... this has sparked another all consuming obsession with Seraph Of The End...

And as a result... I'm having thoughts and feelings about The Unparalleled Ichinose... again

My life is now ruined and I am retreating to Seraph Of The End hell for the next decade...

I blame Kiyoka Kudo.... and Yamato Yamamoto for designing Guren to be so damn beautiful... how dare they!

Anyway I'm tired and I should probably go to sleep... (After desperately trying to catch up with all the chapters I missed ofc!)

Why did I write this? No clue... but it exists now...

Vandy with MC who suddenly sits on his lap and tries feeding him chocolates?

Thanks for requesting, Anon!! 

-You were bored. 

-Earlier, you’d bought a box of chocolates for Vanderwood and yourself to eat… 

-But you’d been the only one eating them… You suspected that he didn’t even notice them 

-You had an idea. 

-You were going to sit on Vandy’s lap and force feed him the chocolates you’d payed for with your hard earned money!

-He was sitting on the couch.. 

-You joined him… by sitting on his lap. 

-Vanderwood wasn’t expecting that… But he welcomed it.

-That was… until you shoved a chocolate in his mouth.

-”MC, What the fuck?” 

-You laughed nervously

-”I bought chocolate… I thought you’d want some” you replied.

-He shrugged and ate the chocolate. 

-You continued to feed him chocolates… alternating between you and him until you’d finished the box.

Ok so WTF

What the actual fuck is this? Why did it come up when I was searching for Guren Ichinose stuff? I’m scared, this image is fucking cursed, 

I’m sorry for the shitpost.... But once again... WHAT THE FUCK?

Back from the dead once again with yet another update to this relationship situation..

First of all, I'm pretty much completely over him.. though he will be bringing my stuff back eventually I have no idea when... gotta give it to the fucker, he does seem like he wasn't lying about being a massive pussy about winter 🤣... a single snowflake could fall and he'd refuse to get in his car and go anywhere.. I feel sorry for whatever poor bitch he meets next if he continues to act like a baby. And btw... the Christmas gift I bought him before we broke up shall not be going to waste, it's going to my bestie who has been there for me through it all.. she's not reading this.. at least I don't think she is.. but LOVE YOU SAM!!!

Aaanyway I just met someone new.. we first started talking 2 weeks ago.. he had stuff going on so I left him alone for a week genuinely thought it was over with him before it even began bc he hadn't said a damn thing the entire week... but I reached out over the weekend and we talked until like 3am lol

He seems like a good guy, seems to be more dedicated than the last (that remains to be seen ofc.. not comparing him to my ex, but still trying to guard my emotions and keep from getting too attached too early on)

He has severe body image issues it seems.. I'm trying my best to help him a little by challenging his self critical beliefs and giving him compliments often. Not only about how he looks ofc...(this guy is seriously a beautiful human being, beautiful smile, jawline so sharp it could cut a bitch, beautiful eyes, beautiful lips, seriously... I'm surprised he hadn't gotten asked out more often.. not only that but he's genuine, sensitive, kinda funny too, respectful, Hella romantic lol)

This one is the type that wants to treat me like royalty.. he made me promise to one day go stargazing with him on a clear and warm night and kiss him under the moonlight.. (I ifc added slow dancing to that bc.. well that has ALWAYS been my dream date) but I'm thinking for a first date, I might go up and meet him for lunch or something on a day he has off of school (university) and work... he is an hour away and I don't drive so I'll probably be relying on my dad to take me there.. unless I can get my friend and her boyfriend to go on a double date with us and hitch a ride with them lol.

Though he has said he wants to come here... but idk.. that may not be possible for a while and I'm thinking we need a meeting face to face sooner rather than later.. I find it solidifies the connection better.

I really hope this goes somewhere.. I quite like him and can totally see this working 😊

H!

I'm back from the dead!

And I have things to talk about 🤭

Last month into this month has been fucking wild for me!

I was connected to a girl my age through my therapist, her name is Sam. We've really hit it off and I now consider her a friend.

Then... for some reason I felt confident enough to make a dating profile.... and

AGAINST ALL ODDS I MET SOMEONE.

Like I live in a town over an hour away from any cities.. but he only lives a half hour out of town... so not a super long drive.

Anyway, we've seen eachother in person twice but I fell so deeply in love with the guy.. and I can tell he feels the same about me... the way he looks at me.... How he talks... He is also a total romantic.. much like myself, so it's been going really good! I'm hoping we'll get to see eachother again next week.

But I never thought I'd ever get into a romantic relationship... if I'm being honest

Don't read on if you're easily triggered by mental health issues and/or sexual themes.

I never intended to be around this long... I was literally planning on ending it all shortly after my 18th birthday... But for some reason... I kept going.. and I'm super happy that I did, otherwise, I wouldn't have ever met my friend and boyfriend.

Seriously...

Things are finally going right for me after so many goddamned years of being alone, isolated unable to find any real connection and incredibly miserable because of it...

I have finally realized I am not unlikeable, I'm not worthless and I can find friends. And for the rest of 2022 and into 2023, I will work as hard as I can to not let my anxiety control me anymore

My next big leap comes in November. I will be looking for my first job!

And here comes the part where I gush about my boyfriend

I now have this dream now where I'm settling down with my boyfriend.... we move into a little apartment in one of the cities nearby (in fact that dream could very well come true... because we both want to go to the same city for college) and we settle into a peaceful domestic life together.... hopefully with cats!

Ok... but like honestly this guy is literally the one I've been dreaming of. He's very attractive and emotionally available, and he doesn't judge me for who I am! I neglected to mention here, but I have discovered that I am agender and my pronouns are they/them... I live in probably one of the most conservative provinces in Canada and to make it worse, I'm in a small town with like 4 churches of the same exact brand of extremely homophobic and transphobic Christianity... I fully expected him to lose interest in me. But no, It hasn't affected how he thinks of me. and he is very careful to respect my pronouns...

He's also very funny (which I really love in people... I can't be around someone who is super serious all the time) I mean... when I last saw him on Monday, we were at my place, playing around (in an adult sort of way) and he discovered my toys

One of them had a suction cup at the base, so he goes and sticks it on the wall a few times... then he sticks it on his forehead looks at me and says "I'm dildo man" we laugh about it together.... and he goes to pull it off his face only to discover it has suctioned pretty hard to his face, so I help him by wedging my finger under the suction cup and lifting it off...

and HE HAS A BIG ASS BRUISE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FOREHEAD... We're still laughing our asses off... me almost pissing myself with laughter as we frantically search for way to get rid of bruises and hickeys online... we try the fork method, icing it... everything we can do, nothing works.. so we decide to just take a bath to clean up before my parents get home from a trip they were on (at this point my parents don't know we've had sex... and I wasn't exactly ready to tell them) While we're in the bath, my parents get home and my dad calls out to me... I fucking panic and we get out and dress at breakneck speed.

My parents brought home some takeout and my boyfriend stayed for dinner... he met my mom for the first time... but damn... coming downstairs after that was... super awkward... but thankfully my parents aren't the type to be bothered by that kind of thing, all they needed to know was that we used protection (which we did ofc)

It's funny though, he really gets along well with my dad.. Maybe it's their sense of humour. Or maybe the fact they are both quite talkative..

But damn.....

This guy is special.. and I hope we last for years, decades... life even...

And done.. Sorry about all that.. just had to write this all down somewhere.. It's really hard to contain my happiness right now.

Could I please request Vanderwood comforting MC after a nightmare? I love everything you’ve written for him so far!!! Thank you for giving him the love he deserves!!!

Thanks anon, I’m really glad you like my work!! You’re actually my first request, so thank you very much for requesting, I hope you like this one too! :D 

-You woke up in a cold sweat, your heart was racing, you had a nightmare.

-It was one of those intense, realistic nightmares, you’d dreamt that the Intelligence Agency had gotten to Vanderwood, they had murdered him right in front of you and were about to kill you when your dream ended.

-Vanderwood had woken up a few minutes before you from you kicking him and screaming. 

-He was confused at first but soon realized what was going on. 

-Vandermom mode activated

-”Hey, It’s okay, it was just a nightmare”

-He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. 

-You violently sobbed. 

-”Idiot, you’re getting my shirt wet” He complained making you chuckle slightly. 

-”Sorry, I can’t help it” you replied. 

-He smiled and kissed your forehead 

-”That’s okay baby girl, I was kidding” 

-You nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck

-”want to talk about it or something?” 

-you told him about your nightmare.

-”I’m not going anywhere, not for a long while, Everything will be fine babe.” 

-you smiled at his response

-You felt yourself being lulled back to sleep from the steady sound of his breathing and heartbeat. 

-Before you knew it, you were asleep again. This time, you had a pleasant dream.

-Vanderwood watched you sleep for a little while before falling asleep himself.

It’s that time of the year again

Yessssss please omfg please let this happen 🙏 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

I did a quick little sketch (by quick, I mean it took me like 2 hours lol) I still struggle with feet and shoes...

I just saw a pose on pinterest and thought omg, what if Astarion and my tav... but he's biting their thigh 🤭

Ofc, I had to name it.. thirst... and I added the "Happy" symbol to kind of cover a sketch I did on the same page... You know... it wasn't originally supposed to be just one piece, I was practicing poses and I liked this one way too much to just leave it or risk messing up when I redrew it.

This is entirely self indulgent.. and intended to be Spawn Astarion because he's so babygirl 🥰😘😍

🤣 also I don't think I posted but I got through the Cazador fight not too long ago.. and

Spoilers and dumb ramble ahead:

For most of my day, I sat there wondering how the fuck I would beat that bastard... he was one shotting Shadowheart with his fucking lightning bolt, then sending his gas minions after the survivors. Astarion being in the ritual made it 10× more difficult.. so... I cheated... and fuck... It should have been obvious...

I LITERALLY FORGOT FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY THAT VAMPIRES ARE WEAK TO SUNLIGHT.. I blame Astarion and his parasite as well as Alucard for that one honestly.. the day walker thing kind of made me forget that omfg immunity to daylight is an exception, not the rule..

So I felt stupid.. once I got that, it was so much easier.. oh and almost constantly had Astarion in stealth kill mode until Cazadick was gone.

Also side note.. the VA for Cazador is perfect.. Like they really sells the "I'm a pathetic little worm, and your worst nightmare, fear me while I bitch and cry" LOL and again that's a compliment.. Larian really succeeded in making an evil character extremely grating and hatable which again, a good thing, not a bad thing.

The heartbreak I felt though afterwards when Astarion screams and cries.. God.. the second I got to this scene, I KNEW I couldn't let him ascend, doing so would be so cruel.. and yes.. this is ascended Astarion slander, I don't like my men too domineering.. maybe a little bit, but not enough to like kill innocent children and eat their hands or some shit lmfao (Doing a durge run too.. where I'm going to ascend Astarion and be a horrible bastard that eats babies) and I don't like that he loses the genuine feelings he has for tav/durge and becomes what he sought to destroy, an abuser.

Now.. the graveyard scene... I had tears in my eyes.. Honestly, the reason I love Astarion so much is because he is quite relatable. I will not go into detail, but I was.. SAed and abused as a kid. And honestly.. Seeing the bit where he scratched out his death date, made me feel hope.. for myself... For my own healing.. it truly meant so much seeing another survivor of abuse begin anew, find themselves again... even though I have done that already myself for the most part, I've found purpose, passions, love, heartbreak, etc and I've found some level of beauty in the life. I related quite a lot to the line about sex feeling tainted.. I am at a point where it no longer feels as terrible, I feel genuine enjoyment in it... (Can't do casual sex though.. That would trigger me into a ptsd attack) And I think part of that was letting myself go at my own pace, making sure my partners knew, and having control and the ability to consent and revoke consent at any point. Emotional attachment helped a great deal too.

I've rambled on enough.. but... Let me end this off by saying, If you went through unspeakable horrors at the hands of those who you thought were supposed to protect you, You are not alone, Even if you do not see it now, there is light at the end of the tunnel, keep on living, keep trying to find joy in little things. It does get better, what was done to you was horrible and you did not deserve it. I promise, you will see better days. You will be happy again, even if you feel like the pain will never end, there is always moments of calm.... live for those... live for your pets, live for your friends, the people around you, live for that cute thing you just ordered, live for that movie or TV series you're excited about watching... even the next patch for bg3.. or more Astarion content if that's your reason right now... and take it one day at a time. You will be okay.

If you need to vent out some shit, I'll listen, I may not know what to say or be able to offer comfort, but I will always lend an ear, even to a total stranger if they need it.

That's all from me, goodbye, until my next post.. whenever that will be ❤🖤❤🖤

Hey! Just a suggestion to help your blog get some more visibility! You can edit requests you’ve answered and add tags to them; it’ll help more people see your great content! 💕💕💕💕

Oh, I didn’t realize that. Thank you for telling me!!!