the Marauders Aren’t Even In This One. It’s About healthcare

　　the marauders aren’t even in this one. it’s about healthcare

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　back to the masterlist hello. i'm emma. i shifted to my marauders dr. hogsmeade is a sleigh, the walls gossip, and i’m dating a pureblood politician's son with very sharp teeth. but that’s not what this is about.

this is about the other stuff. the little things no one ever asks. the bits outside the castle. i wrote some answers. you’re welcome.

　　　　magic & wands .

❛❛   what are the wands like? do wizards have a ride or die relationship with their wands? are they basically just tools for your magic to not go crazy? and does the magic change when you use a wand that is not yours?

yes. they’re basically like magically bonded usb ports but also like if your favourite pair of jeans could betray you out of jealousy. technically, yes, it’s a conduit. but spiritually, she’s your girl. your antenna. your familiar. she gets moody. when you use someone else’s wand it’s like trying to dance in someone else’s shoes and also they’re cursed. the magic goes weird, splutters, backfires, smells like burnt toast. your wand wants you. it wants to be useful. it gets sad when you cheat on it.

❛❛   when you first woke up what was your first thought?

okay picture this. shift. blink. pretty walls. candlelight. this weird smell that’s like fireplace smoke and dusty old velvet. and i just went: “oh my god it worked.” but like in that deadpan, stunned way you say “oh” when you realise you left the stove on. not even happy at first. just … alert. a cat who’s been transported via microwave. then like thirty seconds later i was skipping through the corridor yelling in my head that i was a literal god.

❛❛   how was getting your wand like & what's in it?

ollivander was giving cryptic little weirdo as usual. he didn’t say i was special but he kept staring like i was about to explode. mine’s cedar, unicorn hair, 9¾ inches, slight bend, like a fencing foil but sluttier. it hummed when i touched it. like actually. felt like getting picked by a really judgemental ghost. she chose me. i said thank you. we are co-stars now.

❛❛   have you done wandless magic/apparition/etc?

yes but wandless magic is like texting with gloves on. clunky. emotionally draining. very "i could do it but why would i.” apparition though, that’s more like getting drop-kicked by god through a bendy straw. and i love it. the first time i tried i left half an eyebrow behind but it was worth it. so dramatic. so theatre.

❛❛   is there any magic you can do that’s connected to the moon? or outer space in general? like do the planets have their own magic?

YES. YES. this is my roman empire. it’s called astromancy and it’s basically like if astrology did drugs and became real. the moon messes with potion potency. mercury literally causes misfires (retrograde is so real here it’s funny). and saturn magic is like the emo version. heavy. binding. i swear i cast a charm once during a lunar eclipse and it made me sob uncontrollably for six minutes.

❛❛   how was the first time using magic after you shifted, what spell did you use, how did it feel??

first spell was lumos becase i panicked (but that was only when i was back in hogwarts so literally 2 months later but ugh it was so worth it). i was in some weird side corridor with bad lighting and no idea where the fuck i was. the wand lit up and i almost cried. not because of the light. because of the power. like being plugged in for the first time. like caffeine and adrenaline and finding the right key to a lock you didn’t know was on your ribs.

❛❛   have you ever used floo powder? what does that feel like?

yes. a lot of times. i don't...like it. imagine getting sucked through a kaleidoscope by your ankles while people yell your destination like you're luggage. ash in your mouth. weird green smoke. feels like choking on a glitter bomb. it’s not transportation it’s punishment.

❛❛   what was the process to become an animagus like?

it felt like unzipping myself. like i’d always had this creature inside me. mine’s a fox, by the way. obviously.

❛❛   how did your magic first manifest?

i was five. got so mad at a cousin (cough, JAMES) i burst every lightbulb in the house. it was like a lightning storm inside my chest. dramatic bitchery at its finest. my mom clapped.

❛❛   how do magical families approach pre-hogwarts?

depends. some go full prep school, private tutors, etiquette, wand safety, don’t hex the cat, etc. others are like “eh, they’ll figure it out.” mine was chill. accidental magic was normal. the rule was just “don’t do anything stupid.” (spoiler: i always did.)

　　　　diagon alley .

❛❛   could you talk about diagon alley? are there any secret places, pubs run by secret societies? things never mentioned in the books that you were kinda “what the fuck is this” the first time someone said that to you?

diagon alley is like if soho and a renaissance fair had a baby and then cursed it. it’s alive. you blink and the cobblestones have rearranged themselves. secret places, yeppy!!!! yes. so many. there’s a bookshop that eats people . . . well, not really, but you have to be eaten to get in. there’s a pub that only appears during full moons. someone tried to sell me a haunted mirror that screamed. literally screamed. also there’s an underground goblin gambling ring. not saying i went. not saying i didn’t.

❛❛   what is it like shopping in diagon alley?

exhausting. euphoric. capitalism but make it goth. everything smells like parchment and fireworks and cinnamon. there’s always someone shouting. the robes are dramatic. the animals are judgmental. sometimes the owls bite. it’s very “back-to-school haul” meets eldritch horror. i love it.

　　　　the culture .

❛❛   what do you do after you finish hogwarts? like what do you work with?

depends if you’re a nepotism baby, a freak, or someone with enough NEWTs to shiv the system. people go into ministry work (boring), spell development (chaotic), curse-breaking (sexy), creature care (delusional), or open shops (delusional and sexy). there’s also magical academia, which is full of the worst people ever. some just disappear into the alps and become unspeakables. no one asks questions.

❛❛   how the other jobs in the wizarding world like fashion designer, painter, etcetera would work? and other jobs which aren’t the usually talked about, ones like being teachers at hogwarts, aurors.

fashion people charm textiles. paint moves. it’s less about realism and more about intention, emotionally-volatile brushwork is legit magic. actors do theatre, obviously. moving portraits require a magical baseline, so not everyone can be painted. writers enchant quills to transcribe dreams. it's very surrealist revolution but with way more trauma and owls.

❛❛   how do squibs happen? is it just a coincidence with no real reason behind it?

no one agrees. some say recessive genes. some say emotional block. dumbledore says "magic is mysterious" which is the intellectual equivalent of shrugging. basically, yes, kind of a coincidence. like an accidental off-switch. sad to see it in-real, though.

❛❛   did you learn anything about the war between dumbledore and grindelward?

yes. everyone acts like it was a chess game between two old gays with boundary issues. they teach it in history but water it down. lots of weird silences when you ask about what actually happened in godric’s hollow. trust no official source.

❛❛   can you get tattoos that move or change?

yes. pain-enhanced enchantments. they shimmer, snarl, sometimes scream. very popular with underground types and band groupies. some sync with moon phases. you can also bind a memory to one, so it loops like a memory echo. the ministry hates it.

❛❛   can you get friendship bracelets that do anything special? like communicate when you’re not with eachother?

yes. charm it with a “minor tether,” sends pulses, feelings, sometimes fragments of thoughts. they sell them in hogsmeade but they’re tourist-level weak. proper versions are usually custom, or made during sleepovers with illegally borrowed wandcraft guides. don't ask . . . me and coryo have one. it's very cute.

❛❛   is there a jewellery shop in hogsmede? is there a bigger wizard shopping area? like a hidden mall in london or something?

there’s “selwyn’s charms & curios” in hogsmeade. mostly dainty curses disguised as lockets. london has a sub-level below knockturn called glare. you don’t go there unless you know what you’re asking for and can afford it. it’s like if selfridges was run by the black family.

❛❛   are there wizard superheroes and comic books?

yes. but it’s weird. they’re more like magical folk-heroes with tragic backstories and extremely convoluted moral arcs. think: ovid + marvel + victorian ghost stories. they move on the page, they argue with you, they’re terrifying and sexy.

❛❛   how do fashion trends work? do muggles influence them in any way ( maybe with halfbloods/muggleborns ) or there are any wizardry luxury brands who do their own thing? and who is the trend setter? for example we have celebrities, does this works like this in the wizarding world too?

hybrids. halfbloods and muggleborns start it. purebloods pretend to hate it, then wear it six months later. there’s wizard brands, like aeromantique (paris) or morgana’s heirs (very elitist). trendsetters exist, they just don’t call themselves celebrities. they’re “known.” it’s very if you know you know.

❛❛   by extension . . . right now in your dr, what are the current fashion it things?

faux-muggle athletic wear with glamour enchantments. sleeved cloaks that vanish when you spin. iridescent tights. magical piercings. people are obsessed with spiral patterns and invisibility gradients right now. and knee-high boots that echo your footsteps like a gothic poem.

❛❛   is music important like the muggle world? are there any ‘posers’ or people who judge you because of your music taste?

yes and worse. there’s genre wars. people who think the weird sisters sold out. purists who only listen to banshee jazz. music hexes exist. a boy got cursed to sing his feelings for three weeks straight. record shops are full of weirdos and cultural warfare.

❛❛   are there any wizardry it girls? ( in a jane birkin style, someone people look up to and basically a muse. )

yes. there’s this half-veela model called celestine vaine who’s like if twiggy and marilyn monroe had a daughter and she hated you. she’s on every magazine. she wore an invisibility cloak as a dress at a fundraiser and everyone cried. i love her & have met her. air-headed but probably means well.

❛❛   are there any wizardry royal families? maybe in the past? or maybe, just families so powerful ( politicians, etc., ) that are basically considered royalty?

not officially. but families like @kerryshifts, snows, blacks, malfoys, my family are old money, old power. they control departments, influence policy, host masked balls. think french aristocracy but with thestrals and emotional constipation.

❛❛   are actress/actors a thing? models and magazines covers?

yes. wizard drama is high camp. lots of theatre. magical films are niche but exist, moving paintings as screens. models exist. there’s a magazine called scry! and another called witch weekly but only one’s considered cool and it’s not the one your aunt reads.

❛❛   which non-school books are famous in the wizarding world?

maledicta (banned). the veela’s breath (erotic poetry with bite). the blood atlas (part travel guide, part memoir, part death wish). wandering with wyrms (nature writing but unhinged). ghostlogic (philosophy of haunting). stuff that could kill you, basically.

　　　　the politics .

❛❛   are there any strange laws? and do you know how azkaban works?

yes. you can be fined for "wand brandishing in a non-combative context." there are laws about time travel etiquette. azkaban isn’t just a prison. it’s a punishment. the dementors feed, and they don’t stop. there’s no trial if it’s dark magic. they just... send you.

❛❛   how does the justice system work? if someone steals something, or just does something not worthy of a dementor sucking your soul, is still going to azkaban? what about teenagers who commit crimes?

there’s the wizengamot (basically a wizard senate) and aurors who do field work. for small crimes, reprimands, fines, magical probation. for bigger crimes, memory probes, house arrest, or soul removal. it’s wildly inconsistent. teenagers get off easier if they have good connections.

　　　　outside of the uk .

❛❛   do you know what kind of magic other countries and cultures use?

yes. it’s different everywhere. east asian magic uses calligraphy as spellcasting. in nigeria they mix potions with rhythm, music. south america has forest-binding rites. americans are embarrassing and loud about their magic, obviously. very new money vibes. most cultures have their own schools, rules, rituals. the british act like theirs is the only one. they’re wrong.

❛❛   do they believe in jesus or do they have their own wizard beliefs? 

depends who you ask. wizard culture is secular but haunted. magic’s tied to death and memory and blood and time, so religion shows up in weird ways. old families worship fate. some do ancestral rites. jesus exists but no one talks about it. wizard beliefs are more like... philosophy with spells. they believe in prophecy. and that history repeats itself, like a curse.

　　　　q & a .

❛❛   do you know anything about the scamanders? heard anything about newt and theseus?

okay so. newt’s basically the wizarding attenborough but feral and probably not house-trained. people know about him mostly through fantastic beasts (yes, that’s a real book here. textbook. dense. suspiciously poetic). he’s that guy in herbology circles. the hagrid girlies eat him up. theseus is more of a ministry name, auror poster boy, war hero vibes, hot hot hot, but if you say “bloodsucker for the bureaucracy” loud enough in diagon alley someone will nod. they’re not tabloid famous but they’re definitely respected. the kind of names that make old men nod sagely and teens go “ew, okay boomer.”

❛❛   is witchcraft as we know in this reality still a thing with muggles, or are they just labelled as muggleborn / the government tracks some irregularities and just wipes their memory?

no one’s calling themselves a “green witch” and making moon water out here. muggles who accidentally start levitating spoons get obliviated so fast it’s almost ritualistic. the ministry’s got a whole department for accidental magic and it’s honestly dystopian, little kids throwing tantrums that melt clocks and then bam, memory wipe, move along. muggleborns get tracked like parcels. you spark weird once and suddenly a dude in a cloak’s at your front door saying “hello your child is a wand hazard.” it’s giving panopticon. it’s giving orwell. it’s also very inefficient but terrifying in a bureaucratic way.

❛❛   do you ever miss your phone in your drs without technology?

lol yes. yes like a victorian child misses bread. there is nothing to scroll. no tiktoks, no groupchats, not even a calculator. i cried once trying to divide 234 by 7 on parchment. sometimes i catch myself reaching for a charger that doesn’t exist. owl post is cute until you’re waiting three business days for a “k.” books help. gossip helps more. but yeah, i’d kill for spotify. or like, a notes app to spiral in. i miss being deranged in private. started going through withdrawals in the first 2 days.

❛❛   do you notice that youre in the like 1970s or is everything so different that you forget?

yes, and no. like yes, the wallpaper is offensively brown. the shoes are cursed. the cultural references are non-existent. but also no, because wizard fashion has been stuck in a medieval loop since before the plague. it’s like victorian drag with a little bit of 1940s war wife. so the 70s thing kind of melts in. occasionally you hear something so time-stamped, like someone praising thatcher, and then you remember the decade and get chills. but mostly? it’s vibes over era. timeless with poor lighting.

❛❛   how does the wizarding world treat periods? any medicinals to help? there’s any spells for shaving or just treatments for the skin, hair?

there are potions. like actual mood stabilising, cramp-killing elixirs. some of them taste like garbage but work like benzos for your uterus. pads and tampons exist but they’re charmed, self-cleaning, self-sticking, self-vanishing. it’s both genius and vaguely cursed. as for grooming, yes to shaving spells, but you must have a steady hand or you’ll end up waxing yourself bald. there are glamours too. for hair, skin, the occasional zit-massacre. but it’s all very housewife-core. 50s beauty salon meets victorian witchcraft.

❛❛   do they have stuff for teething?

there are teething biscuits. baby charms to numb gums. lullaby spells. some parents just rub powdered moonstone on the gums and call it a day. most kids survive. some of them bark for a week. no one talks about it.

❛❛   is there any higher education? i always thought that hogwarts was more of an high school… any university? how do teachers get their education?

no unis. not like muggle ones. you graduate at 17 and then . . apprenticeship, ministry internship, trauma. you just do your job and if you die, you die. teachers either studied obsessively on their own or got certified by some ancient council of academic gatekeepers. there’s no system, just vibes and recommendations. flitwick probably killed a man to get tenure. mcgonagall is the system. it’s terrifyingly unregulated. kind of hot though.

❛❛   what is magical healing like? do the potions feel funny as they fix you? do the spells give you tingles?

yes!!! potions feel like fizzy heat climbing your throat and curling around your ribs. like drinking a hug but also maybe acid. some make you drowsy, others hyper. spells can tingle, sting, even sing. like an inner chime that says “your arm’s not broken anymore, congrats.” it’s sensual and freaky and weirdly holistic. healing is fast, messy, and occasionally dramatic. you can watch a nose reattach in real time.