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Genshin [Volleyball Team AU - Inspired by Haikyuu!] What it’s like to be their manager Headcanons

Note: I think a lot of people misunderstand the role of the manager XD It’s not that the whole team is dating you. It’s that the whole team treats you like their family/sister. So you’d better bet that all of them are gunna be hella protective of you XD

Scenario: What do you do for the team and what do they do for you? :D

Warnings: not proofread, fluffy, might have some swear words, platonic relationships

Characters: Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Tartaglia, Kazuha, Xiao, Tohma, reader as the team manager

Other works in the Volleyball Team AU Series: Click Here

Genshin Volleyball Team manager

It’s just fuckin’ chaos

On your first day you’re already bombarded with questions by Tartaglia and Kaeya

“So which class are you?” “What’s your height?” “Are you single?”

Captain Zhongli just cannot be bothered to reign them in anymore.

So Vice Captain Diluc does it and grabs their collars. “You idiots, you’re scaring her off!”

Possibly Kazuha and Tohma are the ones you really try to rely on, on your first few weeks.

So how do you gain the trust of your team? Let’s start with each player shall we?

#1 Zhongli (Captain/Wing Spiker/Ace)

Zhongli is just handsome and mature. He’s strict and needs to be the pillar of the team. 

You’re intimidated by him the first few weeks and he just seems…a little far. He’s always so focused that you can’t seem to catch a moment to just chat with him.

There’s a day where you notice that his form is a little off, you suspect that he hurt his wrist a little. 

You fidget uncomfortably in the gym as they practice, but finally turn to the coach “U-Umm… The captain is… I mean! I’m not sure, but… I think he needs to take a rest,”

The coach calls for someone to substitute Zhongli and suddenly asks you to check on him.

“Huh?! Me?!” the coach pushes you towards him, and Zhongli is just looking at you quizzically, you can practically see the question mark on his face.

“C-Captain, d-do you need some bandages on your wrist?”

Zhongli is taken aback, but silently puts his right wrist out for you to wrap.

Only when you’re done tending to it does he look you in the eye and ask.

“How did you know?”

“…Because I always watch, and all I can do is watch. If I can’t even spot that out then I’m not a very good manager am I?”

Zhongli has a newfound respect for you. He thought you were just a meek and shy thing sitting around and passing them balls but he feels his heart swell that someone like you is seriously watching over them.

Keep reading

Until I found you

summary: Xiao has to face the memories of his late lover at the bottom of the chasm

a/n: part 2 ~ read this while listening to only love can hurt like this and the feelings are on point

Xiao hears the cries for his name from the group as they're teleported away and his energy falters as the platform underneath him finally breaks.

The light from the surface gets smaller and smaller as he falls, he closes his eyes, embracing his sacrifice.

In these final moments as this place devours him, he can't help but think back of his old friends, ones he thought of family.

Your face flashes in his mind....he misses you so much.

It's been so long without you here by his side.

'I swear it's wasn't me that wrote on your face, Xiao.' You hid behind Menogias who watches amused at how quickly Xiao to the conclusion that his own lover scribbled on his face while he slept.

Xiao quickly snatched you from behind the taller man who had did no effort to help you escape from Xiao pinching your cheeks as he glared at you but you laughed at how his face furrowed with angry.

"Just because we napped together doesn't mean I drew in your face this time—" He pinches your face more as his face flushes red.

"Brother Bosacius help me!" You cry out and Xiao turn to look at to see him quickly trying to hide a marker out of sight.

His face flushes red at this.

Bonanus and Indarias giggle to each other as they watch their fellow two yakshas have a tiny agreement as Xiao was telling you why you did immediately tell him it was Bosacius who drew on his face.

"ah, young love.' Bonanus says, watches how Xiao kept pinching your cheeks. "To think Xiao got a lover before us....well, with all the pinning going between those two, I think they're compatible with each other, don't you think?"

Indarias smiles, "yes, I hope we're invited to the wedding." She jokes as they both laughing, at this point you and Xiao stopped arguing, faces bright red at Indarias's comment.

He feels himself being swallowed up, the darkness consuming him as he feels relieved.

"Promise me, you'll keep living for the both of us...okay?" He held your dying self in his arms, hands filled with your blood as he stares at you with disbelief, tears running down his face. Leaning forward, he puts his forehead against yours until you take your last breath with him by your side.

Xiao opens his eyes, his promise to you, one he forgot all this time and he sees golden lights reaching out to him as it shapes itself to a hand reaching out him.

"Xiao!" He hears your voice, it could have been his imagination but nevertheless he reaches for the hand, warmth engulfing him as he's back on the surface of the chasm with everyone else.

Taking deep breaths, he feels a familiar presence and looks up towards the direction of it to see a figure walk away.

"Xiao! Are you alright?" The traveler and Paimon rush over to him as he spots something on the floor beside him that catches his attention.

Taking a closer look, he sees it's a necklace with something attached to it. Opening his palm, his eyes widen as he spots a familiar ring tied to the string.

'A ring? Why did you buy me a ring?' You ask him, currently the two of you were out patrolling before taking a small break. He gives you a ring and you take a look to see a stone of your favorite color along with a stone that represents him.

You see he has his back faced to you and you see how red his ears are. "Xiao?"

"....I asked Bonanus and Indarias about what they said and they said you love someone so much and willing to spent your life with them...you give them a promise ring." He says and your face goes red as you look at the ring and to him again.

"A-are you asking me to marry you?!" You scream and Xioa had enough as he teleports away with embarrassment. Takes you a few minutes to realize you're alone and you ile brightly, shyly putting on the ring on your finger.

It was your prized possession afterwards and now it reunited with Xiao eons later thanks to Zhongli.

"Heh, I look forward to when we get married Xiao." You grin like a lovesick person as you adore the ring unaware that Xiao hide behind some trees in the distance.

Xiao looks at the ring, gripping it close to his chest before putting it on over his neck, the ring now dangles from his chest as he stands up.

a/n: okay this is cute but sad too, I might do a part three where Xiao confronts Zhongli about the ring and how it came in his possession.

Masterlist

hello! i saw your post about your requests being open for a certain time so i took the chance >< i absolutely love your works and i tend to binge or reread them whenever i have the time to do so :DDD i would like to request something with kaeya and diluc with a reader who is their youngest sibling? they witnessed the boys’ fight after the death of crepus and after the whole incident they try so hard to have the boys be on good terms again bcuz they promised crepus to look after them in his stead? but after every failed attempt which made the brothers distant even more, the reader just breaks down when they think they're alone? how would diluc and kaeya react when they hear their youngest sibling's cries? :’D hoping this is okay to work with! and i hope you're having a wonderful day! :3

Platonic relationship! This is definitely something I need practice writing about. My first instinct is to turn away from this but I just really want to improve my writing overall so I shall do it.

Thanks for this anon! Since you didn't specify the age nor the gender I shall go along with my own.

Characters: Younger Diluc, Younger Kaeya, sibling gn!reader

Warnings: angst with a bit of comfort, not proofread, Kaeya and Diluc being mean to each other

It happened when you were 8. 

The image of a happy family fell apart. 

Although you were not all related by blood, it had always been warm and safe. Diluc and Kaeya fought, sure, but it wasn’t like how it is now. Back then they fought because they pushed each other to always do better. Now, they fought because there was so much resentment in their hearts. 

It was hard on you too, Crepus’ death. Whoever said that children wouldn’t understand death as much as adults did were wrong. You understood every bit of it, maybe even more than they did. Crepus would never come back, you would never see him again, would never relive those moments where he would read to you at night or run around playing hide and seek out in the vineyard. 

People didn’t understand that Crepus was not the only person you lost that night.

Diluc and Kaeya slipped away too.

Gone were the days where Kaeya and Diluc would walk around Mondstadt with you. Or the days where they pranked you, hiding behind trees and waiting to see when you’d notice they were gone. They never ate together with you anymore. Didn’t sit by the fireplace talking about the books you all read.

“Diluc?” You peered around the door of his study. Previously Crepus’. Now Diluc’s. Your eye is the only visible thing from the desk. “...Can you...read with me before I sleep?” You asked cautiously. There was no real reason to be afraid of Diluc. He was still your brother, and he was still kind and nice towards you but lately...lately he just wasn’t the same. 

Diluc’s eyes softened and his lips turned up into a small smile before retreating away from his desk and meeting you at the door. “Come on,” he tapped your back and you scurried towards your room happily...only for him to find out that Kaeya was there too. 

The two of them used to make such good sound effects for the stories you read together. You just thought...it would still be possible, once in a while. But Diluc doesn’t even enter your room. He stays at the door and stares at Kaeya, almost glares at him. Kaeya is silent, but stares back. 

Perhaps it was too early to do this, but you were hopeful. 

They tried, they really did. At your prompting, Diluc finally walked in and sat down on another free chair as Kaeya started the story with you listening intently. Diluc admitted that it was easier to be in the same room as Kaeya while watching your eyes light up... but they were at each other’s throats after a moment.

“...Are you going to let me read or are you going to do the whole thing?” Diluc asked, to which Kaeya stopped and glanced at the red-head.

“Oh, you wanted to read? I just had the impression that you didn’t want to be here. You don’t have to force yourself, Master Diluc,”

They went back and forth, with Diluc saying that they were supposed to do it together, but Kaeya was obviously not the best at following instructions. Kaeya countered, spitefully stating “Of course I have to follow your instructions, you’re the man of the house now, I forgot,”

It didn’t end well. It never ended well. Neither did your attempt at getting the two of them to bake together with you. Nor your attempt to at least just have a meal together.

So when your ninth birthday came around, you were hopeful. Adelinde prepared the cake, everyone gathered round the dining table as the candles were lit. Kaeya was there, but Diluc was a little late, having some business to attend to in Mondstadt. Still, he appeared when all your candles were lit, just as everyone was ready to sing the song.

“Nice of you to finally show up,” Kaeya said.

Diluc’s eyes darted towards him, eyes cold. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here either. I didn’t know you were invited,” 

Kaeya let out a breathy laugh. “I can’t even see my own family now?”

“...We aren’t a family,” Diluc said it before he could think, but he meant it. He meant every bit of it. His resentment towards Kaeya still raw, still fresh and still rampant. 

The candles on your cake continued to burn as they started going at each other. They brought up things that shouldn’t have been brought up while arguing, including Crepus’ death. 

You sat on the chair and watched the two of them. Watched as the maids tried to dissuade them from fighting. Watched as your candles burned lower, and watched as the candles became blurrier. 

Everyone was here. And yet you felt so, so alone.

It was Adelinde that noticed the tears just pooling out of your eyes, you yourself hadn’t noticed it yet. Fat, wet tears uncontrollably trailing down to your chin and towards your folded hands atop the table. Your sniffles barely audible over the arguing. 

“Young Y/N,” Adelinde knelt down next to your chair and you jolted up, aware of your surroundings. “A-Adelinde,” your voice breaks, and you hiccup, the sound finally breaking through the argument and forcing Kaeya and Diluc to turn their heads towards you.

“I-I don’t--hic--I don’t have anyone,” 

Not father.

“No one,”

Not Kaeya.

“I don’t have anyone anymore,” your eyes shut tight, and you push against the table, your chair dragging noisily across the floor.

Not Diluc.

“Y/N!” A chorus of Adelinde, Kaeya and Diluc’s voices followed as you threw yourself off the chair and up to your room. Kaeya’s the first one after you, then Diluc... leaving the maids to clean up the party that hadn’t even started.

“Y/N? Hey, you didn’t even blow your candles yet,” Kaeya softly turned the knob to your door, realizing that you had locked it and he instinctively presses his ear onto the wooden surface. “...Y/N, do you want me to bring the cake up?”

Diluc only watched. He was in a small trance. Recalling your words at the table and the way your face contorted into such a painful expression. Somewhere in all of this...he had somehow forgotten that you were just a child. Forgotten that he still had a duty to you, as your brother. Forgotten that you still needed them, just as much as they needed you, yet hadn’t realized it in a while.

For the first time in such a long time, Diluc placed a hand on Kaeya’s shoulder, and spoke with you through the door. He had to step up, or they’d both lose you. “Y/N, Kaeya and I...we’re going to bring your cake and gifts up and we’ll wait out here, okay?” 

Still no answer, and Diluc was getting mildly anxious if you were okay in there. “We can open presents together and you can pick which one you like better,” Kaeya stills as well. Just wanting some indication that you were there, and wanting to be forgiven.

The two of them hear a small murmur from inside, causing them to both lean in closer. “Can you say that again?” Diluc probes gently and your voice comes out clearer.

“I-If I do that, you’ll end up fighting again, I don’t want to choose gifts,” your sniffles are clear as day and it hurt that they were the reason for it. 

“...Well...I guess we might end up fighting but that’s...that’s cause we’re brothers,” Diluc nearly falters, he feels as if his throat is about to close up too. “And we’ll always want to be the better brother for you,”

Kaeya steps back just as the door rattles open and little old you peers up at the two of them, eyes red and cheeks tear-stained. Kaeya bites the inside of his lip to keep from breaking his expression. “...We’ll have my party in my room?” You ask them hopefully, and the two of them break into a small smile. 

“Yeah, that’s fine, I’ll go get your gifts and cake. Kaeya’ll stay here,” Diluc turns to return downstairs. Possibly to get away from all the emotions he was feelings at the moment, possibly to hide the tear he might have shed. You’ll never know. 

Kaeya leaves the door open and brings his arms out, which you instantly fall into. He closes his eyes and sighs. “...Sorry, little one... Let’s try again, okay?” And as Diluc enters the room, cake and gifts in tow, he looks at the sight and can’t help thinking that he still had something to fight for. 

It might take a while to heal the still open wounds...but at least for today, it’d be like it had always been. At least for today, he’d agree on a silent truce with Kaeya, and they’ll try harder after that. 

For today, and for you, they’ll strive to make the word family warm and safe again.

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MASTERLIST

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after last night | dong sicheng

actor!sicheng x actress!reader (+18 mdni)

summary: acting alongside your rival was supposed to be just another one of the competitions you play out in your mind, but after a brief heated moment between the two of you, you began to question your true feelings toward him.

a/n: @winwintea..... i'm finally here, pookie.... im like, so so so so so sorry it took sooooo long for me to finally finish this. but i put a lot of love care blood sweat and tears on it, i hope you like it, if you dont, then ill disappear from earth and no one will ever see me again 😫

cw: smut, fluff, more of one-sided rivals to situationship, alcohol mention and consumption, fingering, edging, unprotected sex.

with a frustrated huff, you sank into the chair, allowing the makeup artist to work their magic. the studio was filled with an almost tangible tension, as everyone seemed to expect a blow-out fight between you and sicheng at any moment.

it’s been a constant issue since the start of filming this drama. working on the same project as your long-time rival sicheng has made every day stressful, the constant tension and friction have made filming the drama a more difficult and uncomfortable experience for everyone involved.

the undeniable chemistry between you and sicheng on camera despite the constant tension backstage has led to the difficulty of finding another pair to match your on-screen chemistry. as the main characters of the drama, the romantic aspect of the show requires a certain level of connection and synchronization that only you two seem to possess, as ironic as it may sound.

but today, the prolonged shoot further strained everyone on the set, not only due to the physical exhaustion, but also the weight of the tense atmosphere that loomed over everyone. the frustration and fatigue were palpable, and the constant back and forth between you and sicheng only added to the mounting pressure.

the problem was the dreaded kissing scene. despite everyone’s expectations, you and sicheng can’t do it — and unfortunately, you’re the only one to blame. every time the distance between your faces closes, you instinctively pull away, much to everyone’s frustration.

“um, excuse me,” the staff member poked her head into the dressing room and announced, "the director said it's getting late, and it would be best to continue tomorrow, so… everyone is dismissed for today,” she gave a small, apologetic smile before closing the door gently.

"of course this would happen," you mutter under your breath, trying to contain your frustration. you dismiss the makeup artist with a polite nod, then tilt your head back in irritation as you let out a heavy sigh.

“can you please calm down a little, boss?” your assistant, haneul, places a cup of hot chocolate in front of you and steps into your view, her voice gentle as she pleads with you.

you glare at her and snap, "don't ask me to calm down when i’m perfectly calm, haneul,” grabbing the drink, you take a big sip before continuing. "dong sicheng is such an idiot.”

haneul lets out a deep sigh, rolling her eyes at your response. "he might be an idiot, but you're not much better when you act like this all the time," she says, crossing her arms. "just suck it up, get the scene done, and then you can go back to hating each other."

her firm words cause you to flinch, and you allow your shoulders to drop, acknowledging her point. you're aware that you've been more irritating than usual lately, and her straightforward approach hits home.

you sigh, slumping into the chair and admit, "i know, i know. i'm sorry. i'm just in a really bad mood today. everything is going wrong, and sicheng... i just want to punch that annoying face of his so bad.”

haneul couldn't help but chuckle, her eyes crinkling in amusement as they watched you scrunch your face like you had just tasted something sour.

"you two should get a room," her tone was playful, yet there was an underlying suggestion in her voice that betrayed her mischievous thoughts.

"what?!" you exclaimed, your voice tinged with disbelief and shock, you were offended even. the mere thought of having something like that with sicheng gave you the creeps.

haneul continued with a sly smile on her face, her tone now tinged with a hint of amusement, "i’m just saying," she began, "that we can all see the tension between you two. it's like you're just waiting for the moment to pounce on each other."

"is that your way of asking to be fired, huh?" your eyebrows raising slightly out of disbelief. "cut the nonsense – where the hell did you even get that idea?" you shook your head, dismissing the absurd thought, clearly annoyed by your friend's outlandish assumption.

haneul just laughed even more, enjoying the reaction from you. she had always assumed that deep down, you were only pretending to hate sicheng, because she could sense that there was secretly something more than just dislike. the imaginary game you played in your mind, of trying to outshine each other, was something she thought had made the actual attraction to him more intense.

"yeah, you can keep telling yourself that, boss," she placed her hands on your shoulders, giving them a slight squeeze. "but your bad mood would improve a lot if you just let him hit it.”

haneul was caught off guard as you suddenly grabbed the pillow from your lap, not having enough time to react. she grunted as the pillow hit her face with a soft thud. she stumbled back, rubbing her face where the pillow made contact, failing to hide her giggle and act offended.

she was about to continue with her tease when the sound of the door opening interrupted her, as if a greater force was saving her from provoking your wrath even further.

"sorry to interrupt," sicheng's deep voice reached your ears, his gaze fixing on you with a small raise of his eyebrows. he was the last person you wanted to see. "are you free right now?"

“for you?”

“mhm.”

“then no.”

sicheng let out a deep sigh in response, already expecting this reply from you. your name came out of his lips with a different, pleading tone compared to the annoyed one he had used for you all day.

"i’m serious," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of sincerity. "we need to talk, please?"

you were usually a stubborn person, but perhaps today you were simply too drained and the memory of haneul's words from before suddenly echoed in your mind, reminding you that maybe making things difficult wasn't always the right way to go, you knew you had already caused enough trouble.

so with a reluctant sigh, you relented, “fine,” your tone slightly annoyed. “what is it?” you gestured for haneul to give you some space alone with him and she immediately made her way to the door, despite her curiosity about what you would talk.

sicheng moved closer, taking a seat in front of you. you expected him to bring up the topic of the messed-up records and give you his usual sweet and annoying words of reassurance, mentally prepared to roll your eyes and respond with snark.

"i've noticed how stressful it was for you today," he started, his tone sympathetic. "and since this is your first romantic role, i've been thinking about what i could do to make this process easier for you. then, i realized the solution was right in front of us.”

you raised an eyebrow skeptically, not liking where this was going.

“we just need to practice,” he smiled.

"you're saying we should practice... kissing?"

“exactly!”

“absolutely not.”

his smile faded away instantly.

he let out a slight whine, trying to persuade you to comply. "oh, come on," he pleaded, "don't be like that now.”

“i said no. this is so stupid, sicheng,” you crossed your arms, looking away from him.

“why are you making such a big deal out of this?" even though he already knew that acting like this was part of your nature, he still asked.

you felt overwhelmed at the thought of having to kiss him on set even more, let alone practicing it multiple times. it was already a challenge for you, and you were unsure if you could handle it.

you responded with a nonchalant shrug, trying to downplay it. "i’m not making a big deal out of it," you said dismissively. "i just think this idea is stupid. that’s all."

"have you thought about something better then?" he asked, his tone tinged with a slight annoyance. “there's no way we can keep going with the show if you don't overcome this problem." his eyebrows furrowed as he continued, "you know we'll have to perform even more 'spicy' scenes in the future, right?”

ugh... of course you know. you were already starting to regret your stupid decision to accept a show for a mature audience just to compete with sicheng.

“and i fear they might replace you for this scene," he continued, his tone serious. "not that it's a problem per se, but i know you don't like stunts.”

his words made you flinch a little. it’s not that you dislike stunts themselves, you actually think they are pretty cool and that their work is impressive. you just don't like the idea of not seeming capable of doing your own work, and feeling inadequate when you know you're so skilled in it. it leaves you feeling disconcerting.

overwhelmed? unsure if you could handle it? regretting your role choice? replaced by a stunt double? bullshit! you were a top-notch actress, and a simple kiss wouldn't change that. you had the skills and confidence to tackle any role thrown your way.

sicheng knew he had struck a chord as he observed your expression. he knew well that bringing out your competitive side would effectively motivate you. the slight frown that appeared on your face, coupled with the defeated sigh and the rolled eyes, only confirmed his assumption that he had achieved his goal.

“okay, let's do that.”

hah.

he got you.

haneul couldn't resist making suggestive remarks toward you upon hearing that she could leave first because you had things to do with sicheng. it wasn't until you played the "threaten-her-paycheck" card that she finally decided it was time to head home.

now it was just you and sicheng in the studio. as you stood leaning against the table set for the scene, your eyes briefly skimmed over the script once more. you knew that it wasn't to ensure you did it right, but rather to prolong the inevitable moment of kissing him.

“are you done?” sicheng's voice cut through your thoughts, prompting you to lift your head and meet his gaze. he stood a short distance away, his arms crossed in a manner that signaled his patient but slightly impatient attitude.

as you cleared your throat, a subtle attempt to buy a little more time, you glanced back down at the script. "almost," you replied, keeping your gaze fixed on the paper. "i just need to read through it one more time."

but contrary to what you insisted on saying, sicheng wasn’t an idiot.

a flicker of surprise crossed your face as sicheng abruptly grabbed the papers from your hands and tossed them aside. the unexpected move caught you off guard, and before you could react, he had placed his hands on either side of the table, effectively cornering you.

“what are you doing?” your frown deepened as he leaned closer, his body nearly touching yours. the proximity making it difficult to ignore the rapid thuds of your heart and keep your feigned annoyance.

“you needed time," he said, "and i think i've given you enough."

"don't be an idiot," you scoffed. “we need to re—”

“we're not here to rehearse the lines," he interrupted you quickly. "we both know you can recite this backward by now."

you couldn't argue with sicheng's words, he was right; there wasn't a need to play the entire scene when you could easily jump straight to the main part.

you had been attempting to buy time, and sicheng had allowed you some grace in doing so. but he had finally reached a point where enough was enough. there was no escape now.

"alright," you responded with a confident gaze, your expression indicating a readiness to proceed. sicheng's brow twitched slightly at your response, a subtle sign that he was either surprised or intrigued by your sudden change.

his agreement followed swiftly:

"great."

“great.”

with those simple lines, the stage was set.

you were in the correct position, just as the script dictated. in this moment, the male lead had devised a plan to kiss the girl, saying that her wishes would only come true if she kissed him, and he had locked her in the exact position where sicheng was holding you now.

all it needed was the pivotal moment — the kiss.

sicheng's hand cupped your face once more, replicating the same intimate gesture as before. the familiar sensation of his thumb on your cheek triggered the erratic beating of your heart.

you reassured yourself, attributing the sudden rush to the invested nature of your role. easy now, easy, you thought, repeating the mantra in your mind. it was only natural for your heart to race in this moment due to the intimacy required by the character you were portraying — that’s all.

as he leaned even closer, your instinct to push him away resurfaced once more. yet, you resisted the urge, your hands tightly grasping the edge of the table instead.

sicheng's eyes roamed over your lips, and you caught yourself replicating the action unknowingly. those plump lips of his were undeniably inviting, and it was challenging to deny the magnetic attraction you felt.

his lips caressed yours gently and softly, their subtle touch sending a shiver down your spine. the script called for a quick, chaste kiss, and that's precisely what you received as his lips pressed against yours. it was a brief moment, but it was enough to make your legs tremble in response.

ok, first part done. now comes the rest.

with a swift, fluid motion, sicheng leaned in for a second kiss, his hands cupping your face as his thumb subtly guided your chin downwards. you felt your lips part instinctively, granting him access to explore the depths of your mouth with his warm, skilled tongue.

you know, there's no such thing as a "technical kiss" in acting.

you either kiss, or you kiss.

it has to be real.

that's why you were so reluctant before because, right now, only god knows how much you are enjoying this. and no matter how much you triy to deny it, the way your tongue move against his is proof enough.

you found your hands reaching out to grasp his shirt, pulling him closer as you responded to the kiss with a new sense of eagerness.

sicheng was surprised. this wasn't in the script at all. now it seemed like you were just... making out.

not that he's complaining. he likes it.

he very, very much likes it.

as if they had a life of their own, his hands found the hem of your shirt, playing with the cloth for a few moments before sliding them under your clothes. his fingers came into contact with your skin, caressing it gently and making you shiver slightly.

and then, walking a little further, his hand trailed down to the waistband of your pants, sneaking into your panties. the gasp that escaped your lips served as a jolt to your consciousness. quickly, you broke the kiss and grasped his wrist, preventing any further advancements from him.

you locked eyes with sicheng, both of you panting. his hooded eyes, slightly flushed face, and his swollen, reddened lips were a sight to behold.

sicheng's voice, soft and low, echoed softly, asking, "what?" just as he leaned in for another kiss. you almost, almost gave in, your lips yearning to meet his, but you fought the urge, tilting your head back to avoid it.

you pushed him away quickly, fixing your slightly disheveled clothing while attempting to regain composure. your voice trembled a little as you speak.

"i think we did pretty good already. it's getting late too." you hastily handed him the studio keys before adding, "um, thank you for the practice. you can close up. see you tomorrow!" with those words, you hurriedly made your way towards the exit.

things happened so fast that sicheng barely seemed to process what was going on.

"hold on, wait!" his voice rushed after you, trying to catch up. "calm down," he called out, his words coming out quickly. "you didn't come by car today, did you? let me drive you home, i just need to—”

"no! it's fine,” you shook your head adamantly, cutting him off. "i can catch a taxi. thanks anyway.”

and just like that, you left, running away like a cat while closing the door in sicheng's face. the man let his shoulders fall and sighed loudly as he looked at the closed door in front of him, a small smile appearing on his face.

“cute”.

you haven't slept a wink all night.

the scene from the previous night replaying in your mind along with haenul's damned words like a broken record.

no. you do not want to fuck dong sicheng.

this is what you've been repeating in your mind since the moment you got up from your bed until the entire drive to the studio.

he's a bad kisser.

he's terrible.

that was the worst kiss you've ever had.

learning how to kiss with an orange would be better than this.

that's what you repeated in your mind as he kissed you again, but this time in front of the cameras. and you still had to tell yourself that it was your character who was enjoying it, not you. you definitely don't want to take him to a secluded place and make out until your mouth are sore. no.

"and... cut!" the director's voice rang out, followed by a chorus of applause. everyone on set was thrilled with how effortlessly the scene had come together, a stark contrast to the tension-filled atmosphere that had enveloped it lately. the air was charged with positivity, making it clear that this was the best mood the set had experienced since the project's inception.

despite the apparent positive change in the atmosphere, it was clear that there was something... different going on, for lack of a better word, between you and sicheng.

suddenly, you weren't bickering anymore and were even being uncharacteristically polite, thanking and apologizing for the smallest minor matters, which wasn't like your usual self at all.

everyone noticed this, but decided to just accept it as a positive development in the co-workers' feelings between you. at least, it was better than all that tension from before.

as haenul handed you a bottle of water, her words echoed with admiration. "wow," she exclaimed, "that was like, the best kiss scene i’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

“oh, really?” you laughed a little awkwardly, your eyes briefly darted towards sicheng, who stood on the opposite side of the room. as your gaze met his, you hastily averted your eyes, taking a sip of water.

"of course! this episode will be an absolute banger; everyone has been waiting for this!" she nodded fiercely and continued. "i've been checking the social media, and..." her words were met with your inattentiveness, as if your mind was preoccupied elsewhere. "and you're not listening to me!" she furrowed.

"oh, sorry about that," you shook your head, snapping back to attention. "i got distracted for a moment. you were saying…?”

haenul's eyes narrowed as she scrutinized you momentarily, following your gaze to where sicheng stood on the other side of the room.

"did you and sicheng finally hook up last night?"

you nearly choked on your water, coughing as you fumbled with the bottle in your hand. your assistant quickly patted your back, trying to help you recover.

once you were fine again, you glanced around nervously to check if anyone had overheard, then turned back to haenul with a sharp glare.

“can you stop blurting stuff like that?!” you hissed at her.

haenul gasped dramatically. “oh my god! you totally did it!”

“i did not!” you snapped, lightly smacking her arm.

“but something happened between you two!” she insisted, her voice dropping to a whisper, just loud enough for you to hear after the scolding. “you’re acting all weird around him. if it wasn’t sex, then what was it?”

“is that seriously the only reason you can think of?” you replied, your tone edged with disbelief. “when did you turn into such a pervert?”

“i mean, you were obviously kissing for real earlier, and now we’re finishing the day without your usual sulking. after spending the night alone with him, what else am i supposed to think?”

you frowned at her explanation. “well, maybe that we’ve become, i don’t know… friends?” haneul looked at you as if you’d just told her the funniest joke she’d ever heard. “pff. yeah, right. friends. sure,” she said, shaking her head.

before you could even attempt to explain that she was partially wrong, everyone’s attention shifted to the director as she clapped her hands to speak.

“since we’ve successfully wrapped up the first part of our series — thanks to everyone here in the studio who made it happen, especially our two stars,” she gestured toward you and sicheng, “doesn’t this call for a celebration? drinks on me for everyone!”

her words were met with cheers from the crew, and even you felt a sense of relief. a good dose of alcohol might help clear your mind, especially since you knew sicheng wasn’t exactly a fan of these kinds of social gatherings.

“we’re going, right, boss?” haneul asked, clasping her hands together in mock prayer. “please, please, it’s the weekend!”

“yes, haneul, we are,” you said, rolling your eyes with a chuckle. “but don’t overdo it, okay? i’m not in the mood to hear you sobbing your heart out while singing sad songs on karaoke again.”

“yes, boss! I’ll treat it like a work meeting,” she replied with a playful salute. “i’ll grab your things so we can head out!” she added enthusiastically before dashing out of sight.

you took a deep breath, relishing the brief moment of solitude. sometimes, it felt hard to breathe with haneul’s constant energy. she could be... intense. but the peace didn’t last long.

“i didn’t know you drink,” sicheng’s voice came from behind, making you turn to face him. “you used to hate the taste of alcohol.”

honestly, you were tired of seeing his face and hearing his voice more than usual. you didn’t like the way it made you feel, not after what happened. it was as if you were suddenly too aware of the strange, tangled emotions brewing inside you.

“well, a lot has changed since our younger days,” you shrugged, your voice casual. you didn’t feel like diving into it any further. “now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to socialize,” you said, turning on your heels, eager to escape the uncomfortable moment.

“i agree. let’s not keep them waiting,” he replied, his footsteps closing in behind you. you froze in your tracks, his sudden presence unsettling.

“you’re coming too?” you asked, confused.

“of course,” he said with a soft chuckle. “you heard the director, can't have the stars missing out."

“but… you don’t like social events,” you said, your tone almost questioning, as if you were trying to figure him out.

“well,” he said with a small smile, “a lot has changed since our younger days.”

it was awful.

you had been hoping for some space from sicheng, but it seemed like life had other plans. you tried to find a seat as far away from him as possible, but he followed, completely at ease, as if he had no intention of leaving your side. and of course, the table quickly filled up, leaving you both sitting side by side, while you anxiously awaited the drinks.

the mood at the table was light, everyone chatting away. haneul took a seat on the other side, eager to be closer to the staff she was interested in, which meant you wouldn’t be on her radar for a while.

you turned your attention to sicheng as he exchanged a few words with the director, and suddenly, it hit you: why were you freaking out about him? it was just a kiss. a brief, heated moment between two adults that didn’t mean a thing. there was no reason for you to keep acting so weird about it all day. after all, he was still sicheng, your rival. you just happened to kiss him.

sure, a few other things almost happened, too, but... it didn’t mean anything. you were just practicing, after all. yeah. you weren’t affected by it. not even a little. mhm.

you couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you made these sharp observations, feeling a bit more at ease.

“why are you looking at me like that?” sicheng raised an eyebrow, noticing the way you were smiling at him, as if you were staring at someone who’d just failed a basic math test.

“nothing, it’s just too much for your mind to handle,” you waved your hand dismissively, taking a sip of your drink that had just arrived. your words, along with the casual shrug, made him smile and shake his head.

“oh, i’m actually curious about something,” one of the co-actors began, snapping his fingers at you and the man beside you. “do you two really know each other from high school?"

sicheng’s face lit up at the question, clearly happy. then he looked at you, who wasn’t exactly sharing his enthusiasm, and his smile grew even wider. “yes! yes, we do. we were inseparable back then.”

you furrowed your brows at his words. “you mean you followed me around.”

“isn’t that basically the same thing?”

“it’s not."

“anyways,” he shrugged, “it was because of her that I started to get into theater.”

“and i’ve been regretting that ever since,” you added with a smirk.

a few giggles spread through the table at your playful banter, the lighthearted atmosphere catching everyone off guard. it was clear they were starting to see you both in a new light.

“so, all this time you were actually friends? and here we thought you didn’t get along when it’s just your way of showing friendship,” one colleague commented, raising a curious eyebrow.

“no, that’s not—”

“right? that explains why they have such great chemistry!” another colleague cut you off. “i mean, the kiss scene? that must’ve been awkward with a friend, but it probably makes it easier too, doesn’t it?”

“oh, it’s not that,” sicheng began. “it’s because last night we—”

a loud thud echoed as sicheng’s knee slammed into the table, his words cut off mid-sentence. he turned to you, confused, after you had stomped on his foot under the table.

“oops, how clumsy of me,” you said with a saccharine smile, your voice light but your eyes burning into his. “sorry about that.”

he blinked, clearly perplexed, but nodded slowly and turned back to the group. “anyway, as i was saying, we had a—”

this time, you pressed your heel down on his foot with deliberate force. he hissed in pain, snapping his head back toward you. but you didn’t even flinch, your gaze fixed ahead as if you were entirely innocent.

he narrowed his eyes slightly, then leaned closer, sliding a hand onto your thigh. His grip was firm, not enough to hurt, but enough to stop you from trying anything else. the sudden contact made you tense, and your head snapped toward him, your wide, confused eyes locking with his.

“we just had a little talk and came to an agreement,” he said smoothly, his voice calm and convincing.

“oh, that makes sense,” one of your colleagues hummed, nodding as if it all clicked. “that’s why everything worked out so well in the end. you should have done it since the beginning tho!”

sicheng’s words were deliberate, as if he’d sensed your discomfort from the start and had chosen his lie to protect the fragile truth you wanted to hide. but you couldn’t even focus on what he was saying anymore.

your mind was too preoccupied with his hand placement. his thumb was now tracing slow, deliberate circles on your thigh, hidden under the table. your stomach tightened at the warmth spreading through you, that annoying, fluttery feeling you wished you could suppress.

without a word, you picked up your drink and took a long, steady sip, as if the alcohol could somehow cool the heat in your chest.

god, this was going to be a long night.

oh, you were right.

after managing to wrangle sicheng into the passenger seat of your car, you slammed the door shut and made your way to the driver’s side.

sliding into your seat, you shot him an annoyed look, letting out a long, exasperated sigh.

driving a drunk sicheng home was definitely not part of your plans for the night. but somehow, the crew had unanimously decided to throw him at you because, apparently, the two of you were now best friends. all because you shared some ancient history, and probably because he’d grown unusually clingy after a few too many drinks.

you tried to refuse, insisted that you didn’t want to be responsible for him, but they’d waved you off with the ultimate argument: you were the only one who knew his address.

fantastic.

“you stupid idiot,” you hissed, leaning over to fasten his seatbelt. “if you can’t handle alcohol, why did you even come?”

his eyes, half-closed and heavy with sleep, fluttered open as he turned his head toward you. “because you were coming too,” he slurred, his voice barely above a whisper. “i wanted to be with you.”

you froze, his words catching you completely off guard. your surprised gaze met his drunken one, and you hated how fast your heart was racing. this was absurd.

a small, lazy smile tugged at his lips as he murmured your name, so soft it almost sounded tender.

“you’re so pretty,” he mumbled, his head lolling slightly as he leaned closer. “i want to kiss you.”

to say you were malfunctioning from all this sudden talk was an understatement. the way he said it — soft, unguarded — made it far too tempting to close the small gap between you. for a split second, you almost gave in again. almost.

but with a sharp shake of your head, you snapped yourself out of it. instead of letting your lips meet his, you shoved your hand against his mouth and pushed him back firmly.

“as if i’d do something like that,” you scoffed, leaning back into your seat and starting the car.

from the corner of your eye, you caught the way he pouted, looking like a sulky child.

“you’re always so mean to me,” he mumbled, his voice muffled but unmistakably petulant.

“it’s your fault for being like that,” you shot back, your eyes fixed firmly on the road ahead. “now shut up. i can’t focus on driving with your annoying voice in my head.”

“yes, ma’am,” he murmured softly, his tone almost obedient. he didn’t even try to argue, instead leaning back against the seat and drifting off to sleep. the car fell into silence, broken only by the steady rhythm of his breathing and the erratic pounding of your heart.

“god, i must be crazy,” you muttered under your breath, gripping the steering wheel tighter as if it could steady your own thoughts.

the peaceful silence during the drive to his house was doing wonders to calm your racing thoughts and your heart. you kept repeating to yourself that he was just drunk, that his words didn’t mean anything. even you, who hadn’t had much to drink, were clearly feeling the effects of the alcohol.

that was the only explanation you could cling to, the only thing that brought you any comfort in the moment.

a relieved sigh escaped your lips as you parked in front of his apartment. the street was quiet, the dim glow of the streetlights casting soft shadows over the building. turning to him, you called out in a firm, loud voice.

“we’re here. wake up.”

no reaction. not even a flinch.

“sicheng,” you tried again, leaning over to tap his shoulder. still nothing.

“come on,” you grumbled, grabbing his shoulder and giving him a light shake. “wake up!”

absolutely no response.

with a growing sense of irritation, you grabbed both of his shoulders and shook him with all the frustration of someone at the end of their rope. “WAKE UP!”

but it was pointless. he remained blissfully asleep, the alcohol rendering him completely oblivious. you let out a defeated sigh, releasing him as he slumped back into his seat, and pinched the bridge of your nose.

this night just kept getting better.

you couldn’t just leave him passed out on the street — though you seriously considered the idea for a good few seconds. but, in the end, you had no choice but to do something you absolutely didn’t want to do.

“dong sicheng, you better be ready for your death sentence tomorrow,” you muttered through gritted teeth, adjusting his limp body onto your back. he was surprisingly heavy, and you were giving it everything you had to carry him while he, of course, enjoyed the sleep of his life, his soft breaths tickling the back of your neck.

staggering inside the building as quickly as you could, you headed straight for the elevator. you only knew exactly where he lived because, back when you were hunting for a new apartment, you’d toured this building. of course, you’d had the misfortune of running into him that day. sicheng had happily joined your tour, turning it into his personal showcase of his apartment. at least it made it easy to cross this building off your list.

reaching the elevator, you pressed the button, only to stop cold when you noticed the maintenance notice taped to the door.

“you’ve got to be kidding me,” you groaned, staring at the sign like it might change its mind.

sicheng lived on the 11th floor.

this was going to be a nightmare.

to sum up the nigh, believe it or not, you actually climbed the stairs to the 11th floor with sicheng slumped over your back. every step felt like a herculean effort, but you kept telling yourself this was the fastest way to be rid of him.

when you finally reached his door, breathless and drenched in sweat, life decided to have one last laugh at your expense. a keypad lock blinked back at you mockingly.

you stared at it, utterly defeated.

after a moment of recovery, you tried every password you could think of: his birthday, his acting debut date, his mom’s birthday, even your birthday. nothing worked. each failed attempt pushed you closer to a breakdown.

which is how you ended up here: sicheng sprawled out comfortably on your bed, snoring softly, while you stood there, glaring at him with the fury of someone who had well and truly hit their limit.

getting mad wouldn’t do you any good right now. it wasn’t like you could argue with someone who was completely knocked out. all you could do was accept the situation and leave it for the morning, when he’d hopefully be conscious enough to face the consequences.

taking a deep, calming breath, you laid down beside him. there was no way you were sleeping on the couch. too uncomfortable. and besides, the only reason he was in your bed to begin with was because the living room felt like it was miles away, and you absolutely refused to carry him any farther than you already had.

so here you were, stuck sharing a bed with dong sicheng.

“unbelievable,” you muttered, turning your back to him as if that would help you ignore the fact that he was there at all.

but it didn't take long for you to turn to look him, letting your eyes linger on his sleeping face. his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, and his hair fell messily across his forehead, brushing against his soft features. you had to admit, he was ridiculously handsome. there was a princely air about him, something in the elegance of his delicate features that always seemed to catch your attention no matter how hard you tried to look away.

your gaze wandered, tracing the curve of his nose, the sharp line of his jaw, the faint lashes resting against his cheek. and then your eyes stopped on his lips, plump, rosy, and slightly parted.

you swallowed hard.

okay. maybe you wanted to kiss him again.

and maybe, just maybe, you could finally admit that the kiss had affected you far more than you’d been willing to let yourself believe.

your gaze drifted lower, trailing down the curve of his neck. the first few buttons of his crisp white shirt were undone, teasing you with a glimpse of his collarbone and the faint rise and fall of his chest. your eyes wandered further, catching on his hands, broad and elegant, resting lazily by his side.

your brows furrowed slightly as your mind betrayed you, flashing back to the feeling of those hands on your skin.

okay. maybe you wanted to fuck him too.

you quickly looked away, dragging a hand over your face before resting your arm across your eyes, as if that would block out the whirlwind of thoughts spiraling in your mind.

“god,” you muttered under your breath, “i must really be losing it.”

the shrill sound of your phone alarm jolted you awake, your face twisting in irritation as you blindly slapped around the bed. after a few failed attempts, your hand finally found the device buried under your pillow, and you silenced it with a hiss.

groaning, you kept your eyes shut and your head buried in the mattress, hoping to reclaim the comfort of sleep, but it was useless. letting out a defeated sigh, you blinked your eyes open and... froze.

the bed was empty.

you shot upright, the sudden absence snapping you fully awake. your eyes darted around the room, searching for any sign of life. nothing. quickly, you got up and began pacing through your house.

sicheng was gone.

“you stupid bastard,” you hissed, gritting your teeth as a wave of disbelief hit you. “i even carried his dead weight all night for him to leave without so much as a thank you?!” your fists clenched as you let out an incredulous scoff. “dong sicheng, you are so damned.”

a small, frustrated scream left your lips as you stomped toward the bathroom. a nice, scalding shower, it was the only thing that could save both your sanity and sicheng's life at this point.

but, contrary to what you imagined, the bath only cleared your mind enough to make you even more irritated with the situation. it was an affront, an insult! you were going to make sicheng pay for this humiliation! a great outrage! you could already see your hands wrapped around his neck and—

a knock on the door cut through your murderous thoughts. taking a deep breath, you walked over to open it, only for your eyes to widen at the sight of the man you’d been cursing standing there with that infuriating smile.

freshly dressed and looking nothing like the disaster he’d been before, sicheng radiated ease. but you couldn’t care less about his annoyingly perfect face right now.

“i’m gonna kill you with my own two hands, so get ready,” you growled, stalking closer with your fingers curled as if ready to strangle him.

“hey, hey, calm down,” he said, laughing softly as he caught your wrists in his hands, his touch warm and steady. his smile grew wider, completely unfazed by your murderous intent.

"are you seriously asking me to calm down?" you snapped, attempting to push forward again, but he held your wrists tighter, his grip firm yet gentle.

"i know you're mad," he said softly, leaning down to press a kiss to your wrist. the warmth of his lips brushing your skin sent a jolt through you, your resolve faltering. disoriented, you found yourself staring at him, momentarily forgetting why you were even angry. "and i'm here to apologize, of course," he added, his tone dripping with sincerity, though that playful glint in his eyes made you suspicious.

"i climbed up and down eleven floors with you on my back," you managed to say, your voice carrying a hint of annoyance despite your disoriented state. his surprised expression told you everything: he didn’t remember half of what happened last night. "an 'i'm sorry' isn't enough to save your ass."

"i know," he nodded, resisting the urge to ask for a full recap. "which is why i already reserved a table for us at your favorite restaurant."

"what?" you blinked, confused. "how do you even know what my favorite restaurant is?"

"because i’m interested in you," he said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "any other reason would just be an excuse, don’t you think?"

your jaw nearly dropped. this was exactly what you liked and hated about him: he was always unapologetically sincere.

you stood there, at a loss for words, unsure of how to respond. but he, of course, didn't miss a beat and took your silence as an answer.

“then it’s settled!” he said with that all-too-confident smile. “let’s go.”

and once again, your silly heart betrayed you, too caught up in the moment to resist.

the place was near your house. it wasn’t anything extravagant, but it had its own charm. cozy, inviting, warm, it felt almost like a safe haven for you. a perfect find for your new place, tucked away from prying eyes.

“and that’s everything you put me through,” you finished recounting the events of last night to him, carefully omitting a few details, like the part where he said he wanted to kiss you or when you accidentally knocked his head on the door frame while trying to get him into your bedroom.

sicheng’s face turned a deep shade of red as he fanned himself with one hand, the other clutching his glass of water. he avoided your gaze for a moment, clearly embarrassed, before stealing a quick sip.

he only remembered bits and pieces of last night, but from what you described, it was worse than he had imagined. guilt settled heavily on his shoulders as he listened.

“i’m really so sorry,” he said, his voice soft and genuine, his wide, puppy-like eyes locking onto yours. “i’m not usually like this. i overdid it yesterday, and i caused you so much trouble. i’m sorry.”

you finished your meal, casually listening to his concerned words. honestly, seeing that guilty, almost childlike expression on his face was oddly satisfying. if you were being fair, dealing with him drunk wasn’t that bad, he was mostly well-behaved. but it was part of your nature to make a big deal out of things, especially when it came to him. besides, a free lunch at your favorite spot had done wonders to smooth over your irritation.

“you’re lucky i’m a very nice person,” you said, shrugging with a mock air of superiority. “i’ll accept all that and forgive you… this time.”

his shoulders relaxed, the tension visibly draining from his body. since the moment he woke up and found you sleeping soundly against his chest, he knew he had messed up. the guilt had weighed heavily on him, and he’d spent the entire morning running through a million different ways to make it up to you. seeing you willing to forgive him so easily was a relief he hadn’t expected.

“thank you,” he said softly, his gaze warm and sincere. “i promise i’ll be more careful next time.”

you raised an eyebrow, your tone teasing. “next time? you think there’s gonna be a next time?”

he laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “okay, bad choice of words.”

you chuckled at his words, resting your chin on your palm as you leaned closer, a curious glint in your eyes.

“by the way,” you began casually, “you said a couple of funny things last night too.”

“hmm, really?” he raised his brows slightly, feigning ignorance while signaling the waiter for a dessert. “like what?”

“like going to the meeting just because i was going,” you replied, narrowing your eyes slightly, testing if his drunk words held any truth.

“oh, yeah,” he nodded nonchalantly, turning his attention back to you. “i heard you mention it, so i thought it’d be fun to tag along.”

“saying you're interested in me all of a sudden, still following me around like a lost puppy…” you trailed off, lips curling into a faint smirk. “do you have a crush on me or something?”

“what do you think?” he shot back, mimicking your posture as he leaned in, resting his chin on his palm, a teasing smile playing on his lips.

“you know it’s stupid to answer a question with another question, right?” you gave him a bored look, but your tone was far from serious. “but if you do like me, i can only assume you’re a masochist.”

his laughter bubbled up before he could stop it, bright and genuine “what? i’m not a masochist! where is that coming from?”

“well, I’m not exactly nice to you,” you shrugged, feigning indifference. “like, I kinda hate you, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“you do not hate me.”

“yes, i do?”

“no, you don’t.”

“yes, i do.”

“do you kiss everyone you hate?”

your smugness evaporated in an instant, replaced by embarrassment. “shut up,” you muttered, leaning back in your chair, refusing to meet his eyes as he grinned victoriously.

“now that this came up,” he tilted his head, studying you intently, “we never really talked about that, did we? you’ve been avoiding it all day, then i had that little… drunken incident, and we just never addressed it.”

“well, that’s because there’s nothing to talk about,” you shrugged, doing your best to sound casual and unaffected, even as your grip tightened slightly on your glass.

“hmm, is that so?” he clicked his tongue, a mischievous glint in his eyes as his tone turned teasing. “going through all that trouble to get me home safe, kissing me, sleeping all cuddled up on me… you know, i’m starting to think you’re the one who likes me.”

your head snapped toward him, eyes wide. “excuse me?”

“oh, don’t look so shocked,” he chuckled, leaning forward slightly, resting his chin on his hand again. “i mean, actions speak louder than words, don’t they? and your actions…” he trailed off, letting the implication hang in the air as his grin widened.

“first of all, and most importantly, i did not sleep cuddling you,” you said, your tone sharp as if he’d just told you the worst joke of the century.

“oh? but you did,” he replied smoothly, nodding with absolute confidence. “when i woke up, you were hugging me like i was your favorite teddy bear or something.”

“i would never—”

“oh, our dessert, finally!” he interrupted, his face lighting up as the waiter placed the sweet tart on the table. “it looks delicious,” he added, completely shifting gears, as if your denial wasn’t the least bit convincing.

“are you seriously gonna end things like that?” you asked, disbelief heavy in your voice.

“here, say ‘aah,’” he said, raising a spoonful of pie toward your mouth like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“i'm not doing it.”

“say aah.”

“i said i'm not.”

he didn’t budge, just kept looking at you with that infuriatingly cute and bright smile that you couldn’t seem to resist. with an exasperated sigh, you crossed your arms and rolled your eyes, turning your head away. but, of course, you leaned in slightly, opening your mouth just enough for him to slide the spoon past your lips.

your frown quickly softened into an expression of pure delight as the flavors burst on your tongue. the bittersweet tang of the strawberry, the velvety richness of the custard, and the flaky crust of the tart all mingled perfectly. you couldn’t help but sigh and hum in satisfaction. it was that good.

“now that’s a great reaction,” sicheng said, amusement dancing in his voice.

you raised a brow at him, narrowing your eyes slightly.

“besides the faces you make when you’re acting, this has to be one of the most charming expressions i’ve ever seen you make. and those little sounds you’re making? delightful,” he added with a teasing grin.

you nearly choked. “what is wrong with you?”

“i’m just being honest,” he chuckled, clearly enjoying your reaction. “i want to see it again,” he said, holding out the spoon toward you. “open your mouth for me.”

“…no.”

“oh, really?” he raised an eyebrow, his grin widening. “do you really not want to?”

you couldn’t help but think that maybe you were the one with something wrong, because before you even realized it, you silently opened your mouth again, earning a satisfied smirk from him.

“hmm, so greedy.”

“by the way,” you glanced at him, who was walking beside you as you both made your way to your place. “why did you go home so early?”

“why? were you upset that my face wasn’t the first thing you saw in the morning?”

“forget i ever asked anything and just die for all i care.”

sicheng laughed at your annoyed expression. “it’s nothing much,” he shrugged. “i just couldn’t take you on a date smelling like alcohol, right? i wanted to apologize in nice clothes, at least.”

“this was not a date,” you said quickly, hoping to shut him down.

“yes, it was.”

“don’t even start,” you lifted a hand to stop him from going any further, making him laugh once again.

“here we are, safe and sound,” he said as you both stopped in front of your door.

you cursed yourself when you suddenly felt a pang of disappointment at the thought of the moment with him coming to an end. you wouldn’t mind spending a little more time with him, to be honest…

“finally, this infernal time beside you is over,” your words were at odds with your feelings as you looked at him.

“whatever you say, sweetie,” he responded with a fond smile.

it should be illegal for someone to look at you like that, your chest tightening at the soft, affectionate smile he gave you. you hated it. hated how his gaze made everything inside you stir, how it made your heart skip a beat against your will. you wanted to be angry, to push him away, but all you could do was stand there, feeling something you didn’t want to feel.

“you’ll burn a hole into me if you keep staring like that,” he teased, tilting his chin slightly as if silently telling you to come inside, and only then would he head home.

you couldn’t quite understand what had gotten into you when you cupped his face and pulled him in for a kiss. you just wanted to feel his lips again, even if just for a moment, just one more time, that would be enough.

sicheng was caught off guard, but didn’t pull away, letting you lead. you froze, eyes wide, your gaze meeting his.

“i-i’m sorry,” you muttered, suddenly feeling foolish. why had you kissed him just like that?

as you tried to step back, his hands locked around you, holding you steady. he gripped your waist, his eyes burning with desire.

“if you cling to me like this, all i can do is kiss you,” his voice was low, soft. “and that’s fine… if all you want is kisses,” he gave you a meaningful look.

if only kisses were enough to throw your mind and body into disarray… maybe you were greedy, as he’d said, but you weren’t satisfied.

“i want more…” you whispered, barely audible.

that was all he needed to hear before pulling you into another kiss, his tongue urgently invading your mouth as you responded with equal intensity.

you fumbled with the door handle, trying to opem it, while sicheng pushed you inside, never breaking the kiss. he closed the door behind you, his hands guiding you toward your room without hesitation, already knowing the way.

you both nearly stumbled as you hurriedly kicked off your shoes, chuckling against each other's lips. With a quick movement, sicheng laid you down on your bed, his lips trailing kisses from your jaw down to your collarbone. his hands slipped under your shirt, gently caressing your skin.

"i can't believe we're doing this," you murmured, a soft whimper escaping you.

“i told you," he mumbled back, his lips sucking lightly on your skin, peppering the area with soft kisses to soothe you. “you like me.”

well, it's not like you're in any position to argue right now.

he wasted no time in pulling your shirt over your head, exposing your bare torso. “fuck, you're so hot,” he hissed, sucking on his bottom lip as he couldn't help but admire the sight of your hardened nipples, feeling his cock twitch inside his pants.

“stop staring and do something,” your needy voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he was quick to obey your words.

sicheng leaned down to wrap his lips around your breast, his warm, wet tongue swirling around your nipples and sucking hard. your toes curled at the sensation and you moaned softly as you closed your eyes, your fingers tangling in his hair.

as he continued his ministrations on your breasts, his hands found the waistband of your pants. you lifted your hips a little to help him pull them down along your lacy panties, kicking them to somewhere else.

you opened your eyes to look at him, feeling even wetter as you watched him sucking on your tits like he was having a feast. you held his face and made him release your breast, a soft 'pop' sound was heard as he pulled away, looking at you with half lidded eyes.

you shiver slightly as you feel the cool breeze hit your wet breasts, already missing the feeling of his warm tongue on you, but you really wanted to kiss him even more and that's exactly what you did as you pulled him up to attack his lips.

“you taste so good,” he groaned into your mouth, his hand caressing your inner thigh and squeezing it lightly to emphasize his words. his fingers moved up to find yoyr dripping pussy, sliding along your slit and coating his fingers with your juices. “so wet already, you were really waiting for this, huh?” he buried his face in your neck, smoothing your skin with kisses.

it was too embarrassing to admit it and it wasn't like you needed to since your body had been betraying you enough for quite some time now, so all you could do was move your hips down, trying to get his fingers inside you.

“oh, eager, aren’t we?” he teased, lifting his head to meet your gaze, his smirk growing as he noticed the way you bit your lip, your brows furrowed, and your breath coming in short, uneven gasps.

“please, don’t start teasing now,” you murmured, your voice soft but edged with a hint of urgency. you held back from saying anything too daring, not wanting to give him more fuel to prolong his playful torment.

he only chuckled softly, pressing a warm kiss to your cheek before capturing your lips again. this time, he didn’t hold back, finally giving you what you wanted.

a sharp intake of breath escaped your lips as he slid two fingers inside you, thrusting them steadily. he could feel your tight, warm heat clasping around his digits, letting him even more anxious to bury his cock deep inside you.

he began to rub soft circles on your clit with his thumb as he took your breast into his mouth again, the combined actions making you squirm beneath him and moan louder.

he curled and scissored his fingers inside you, soon feeling the way you clenched around them. "close already?" he asked as he raised his eyebrows, and your response was just a fierce nod followed by soft whimpers.

your confirmation made him withdraw his fingers and you whined almost in despair, feeling empty and unsatisfied as he wouldn't let you finish.

"calm down, princess," he lightly slapped your thigh. "i want you to cum on my cock, hm?" he kissed the tip of your nose as he finally got rid of his own clothes and quickly positioned himself between your legs. he collected some of your fluids to spread along his shaft, hard as a rock, twitching with need. "i'm gonna fill this pussy up so good,” he was as impatient as you, so he only teased your entrace with his tip and entered you slowly, grinding against your sensitive clit.

your hands gripped the sheets tightly as you felt him stretching you, filling up any remaining space in your pussy, while he groaned and closed his eyes, enjoying the way your pussy gripped him tightly as if it never wanted to let him go.

"god, you feel so good," he began to thrust his hips against your pelvis slowly, he could feel your tight heat enveloping him, pulling him deeper. one of his hands gripped your hip, holding you in place as he fucked you. "that's it, taking me so well," he encouraged, his pace slow and steady, letting you feel every inch of him.

he’s played with you a lot already, so it didn’t take long for you to feel your climax building again, and he seemed to notice it as he picked up the pace, leaning down to bury his face in your neck.

“cum for me, baby,” he bites you gently and pull away from your neck to watch your face, using his fingers to pinch your clit and bring you to the edge. wrapping your legs around his waist, your breath hitched in your throat as you clenched around him, feeling the knot in your stomach unravel as you creamed his cock.

he wasn’t that far behind you, the whole intense moment was enough to bring him to the edge too, he kept pounding into you and pulled out just in time to empty himself, covering your stomach with his release.

you looked so hot like that that he had to hold back the urge to bury himself inside you again immediately. he let a bit more of his weight press against you, his lips finding yours once more in a lingering kiss.

"okay," you murmured against his lips, slightly breathless, making him chuckle softly. "maybe I like you... just a little bit now."

"just a little?" he teased, nibbling your lower lip with a playful smirk. "didn't seem like 'just a little' to me."

you tilted your head, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "i think we need to try it all over again so i can decide for sure.”

seonghwa being the main character

and when he leaves you in the dark. xiao x gn!reader. warnings: angst, xiao dies, 2.7 chasm update spoilers. wc: 1,906. semi proofread.

in each of xiao’s waking moments, he thinks of you.

he thinks of the sun rising in your eyes when you turn to look at him. he thinks of your smile brighter than the moonlight when you tell him about your day. he thinks of the warmth in your hands when you gently grab his own, tugging on him to lead the way.

and as his body grows weaker with each passing second from the fantastic compass, he thinks about you. as though his ears are filled with water, the loud yelling of yanfei and paimon is drowned away by his thoughts of you—it has always only been of you.

you always hated how self-sacrificial he was. your shoulders would slump when you’d hear him utter his thoughts and you’d angrily bite back your tears. you’d wrap your arms around his waist after and tell him it was all nonsense—that he still had you.

that should there come a day the stars will not align, xiao will still have you.

you would never miss the sudden look in his eyes, yet he smiles lightly and nods every time.

when the platform shatters and so does his mask, vanishing slowly as the strength in him dies a little more, xiao finally remembers what you had said to him before he left.

“come back home to me.”

you had been playing with his fingers when you spoke, not once looking up at him—missing the ghost of a smile on his lips. someone like you was too far for xiao to reach but still, he wallowed in your affection and surrendered himself fully.

you who has been blighted by someone like xiao, a demon who has slain thousands—mortals and gods alike. xiao wished back then that he had stayed away, kept to himself on the balcony of wangshu inn and never helped you with your problems.

for someone as awkward as him, xiao learned to breathe and love. love someone so different, someone who is not like him; and will never be like him. he learned to breathe you in as though you and he do not know where the two of you had begun and when you two had become whole.

“okay, i will,” xiao whispered that night. it was a promise to you and him—he’d come back home, safe and sound, to you.

then you looked up at him that time, smiling lightly as your eyes interlocked. you had noticed the fondness in his eyes, hand reaching up to cup his cheek. cute, you thought—but you’d never tell him that.

xiao supposes this would be the only time he has broken a promise to you. of the countless promises he had kept, this would be the only one he would have to break, whether he had a choice or not.

he staggers back, breath heavy and so is his body. they all look at him—yanfei, yelan, the traveler, paimon, and shinobu—with wide eyes as he stands weakly, eyes travelling towards the opening above them.

he would apologize if he could, take you once more into his arms and kiss your nose. he would apologize for everything he couldn’t have done with you and ask for your forgiveness. he knew you’d accept him as you always have.

xiao knows that his time is running out.

the color green engulfs his right hand as he balls it into a fist, knowing this would be his last act. heroic—he thinks, idiotic—you’d say. 

“i like the color green,” you told him once on a stroll.

xiao paused in his steps, turning to look at you with a raised brow. “green?” he repeated.

“yeah, i like it,” you hummed. “everything about you is green—you’re green.”

he didn’t know what it meant during that time, only that he knew you liked it because of him. xiao took every chance to take home every colored green object in sight when he would go out.

he brought a four-leaf clover once, hoping that it would bring you any luck compared to being with him. xiao left it on your hands with a shy smile as you stared at it with a smile.

everything else followed after that. xiao would grab a jade stone should he see one, a beautiful water lily when he passes by the lake, a green flower when it blooms at night.

when the sunset came and you laid your head on his shoulder by a tree trunk, xiao hesitantly asked, “why the color green?”

you didn’t move from your position, instead, you took a look at the setting sun. “i just like it,” you answered. “but, if you really want to know…”

xiao gazed at you, watching the way your lips would move, nose scrunch up when you smiled, and eyebrows moving when you spoke. he then glanced at the sky and the setting sun—it was pink and purple, something you always loved to stare at, even more than you loved the color green, that he knew.

“does that answer your question?” xiao blinked. ah, he didn’t listen.

“it does,” he said, hand slowly reaching towards yours, intertwining it with his. 

though he feels disappointed in himself for never hearing your answer, xiao realized there, you are more beautiful than the sun setting. should the sun itself disappear, xiao would follow you to the ends of the earth just to watch the sunset in your eyes.

this time, however, xiao understands why you like the color green—it symbolizes his protection. the color engulfs his companions, a bright light green that he knew would protect them and bring them to safety, and he knew that it would bring only them.

xiao watches as yelan reaches out to him, yelling something incoherent in his ears, then finally, they disappear and leave him on his own. 

the platform below him cracks and xiao falls.

he wonders what you would have said to him should you know he sacrificed himself for others—only this time, he isn’t coming back. it was his job, his duty—it was bound to happen at one point. it was something you always refused to accept, xiao shouldn’t have to bear the burden of others.

“you first before others,” you said one time. “why should you put your life on the line for them?”

it was in the contract—he would have said. but xiao was bound by no contracts (at least anymore), only his morals and his guilt. his sins were far greater than any living adeptus and he must suffer for all eternity for what he has done.

but you show him that he doesn’t have to bear the burden of others, that like everyone else, xiao is loved. and he is loved deeply and greatly by none other than you.

to others love may be a burning fire of desire, to know all of your deepest secrets, or kissing below the shade of the trees in spring and waiting for the flowers to fall. but for you, you show xiao that love to you is simply him.

and xiao knows that you love him more than you do yourself.

it’s only that xiao knows in himself that you are the epitome of love itself—and he will love you even until death.

“what are you holding?” you came up to him on a cold night by the balcony. the wind blew and howled, you shivered slightly as you make do with your hands rubbing your arms for any source of warmth.

xiao turned to you, holding a crystal-fly in his right hand. “i thought it would suit you,” he murmured, reaching out to tuck the piece in your hair. 

he gazed at you, a light smile on his lips as you touched the crystal-fly on your hair gently. xiao was right whenever it came to you—something he was always proud of, and the only thing he was proud of in himself.

“i love it,” you whispered.

“i love you,” xiao whispered back—barely audible but he knows you hear it, and wants only you to hear it.

[name], when tomorrow starts without me, i hope you feel relieved.

he has seen the mountains fall and the oceans rise, but xiao knows that he has loved only you, and forever will only be you. 

but i hope you know that i will love you even if there are no clouds in the sky and the setting sun has become dull in your eyes.

and as he falls into his doom, xiao remembers your smile, the crinkle of your eyes, the laugh you let out when he takes you too seriously, the warmth of your hugs, and the love that you brought him.

“what’s your favorite flower?” he had asked suddenly.

you thought for a few seconds as you say, “oh, i don’t know.”

xiao frowned.

“but if there was a flower like you, i would choose that one,” is what you said after.

you gave him a bright smile, laughing at your own words—still, they were true. wrapping your arms around his neck, he staggered backwards, holding your waist to steady the both of you. should there be a garden full of flowers, you would choose xiao again and again.

“that’s nonsense,” xiao clicked his tongue.

“huh? hey! i thought it was cute!”

his eyes shoot open.

for once in his life, xiao reaches up towards the small light and wishes it would grab him just as how you pulled him out of his misery.

what would you think?

what would you say?

what would you do when the news comes to you?

as he falls, tears spring to his eyes as he remembers you. the only person in his life who had shown him love. the only person who had cried when he came home with blood on him. the only person who he knows would be devastated when you find out the truth about what had happened to him.

if only xiao had stayed far away from you, it wouldn’t have ended up like this—you would not have to cry for him.

until xiao’s final moments, he thinks about you.

--

“i’m sorry, xiao has died.”

the smile on your face fades, handpicked qingxins now lay by your feet as your hands drop to your sides. verr goldet stands in front of you, a solemn look on her face—you watch her lips move but you could barely hear what she says.

xiao has died.

xiao has died?

you open your mouth to thank her for bearing you the news, but it stays open. there was nothing to say. she watches as you tremble, the gloss in your eyes fading—a look she had first seen on xiao when you had not come for a week.

with a shaky voice, you reply, “okay… thank you.”

you should have seen it coming; that one day, xiao would not return safely in your arms. the longer you stand in front of verr goldet, the heavier your body becomes, dragging you down as if it wishes to bring you with xiao himself. for now, you will weep for your dead lover.

you hope that in xiao’s final moments, he knows that should he and you walk this world once again with no remnants of each other, you will find him again and again.

notes i thought about xiao finally resting but wipee go down with me he worries about leaving you alone so in his last final moments he's desperately trying to cling onto whatever faith he has left in himself to go back to you but <3 he can't tada hehe also i hope the transitions are understandable as you can see the reader isn't with xiao in the chasm, so all you saw are xiao's memories with you just loving him or as i like to call it his life flashing before he dies :p i wrote this in one day i can't believe but i had to edit it a lot because my metaphors didn't seem right, i am not an english major so i am horrible at this

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Based on this post

NEW ART FINALLY!!!! (Click for better quality)

I’ve been traveling the past few days so I didn’t have time to sit down and draw anything but I got the idea for this comic one night and I had to make it happen so I spent the past 3 days working on this nonstop :’) hope y’all enjoy!

Also hey it’s high ponytail Diluc 👀 @favoniuscodex @witch-hazels-musings come get y’all (grape) juice

this is beautiful i—*sobs*

# 0.03 - THE THIRD WISH.

╰ ‘I wish to learn how to make flower crowns.’ | Chapter 3 of ‘The Five Wishes You Fulfilled For Me Before I Died’ series

ㅤㅤ— join the taglist | masterpost | previous | next

HE SCOLDS YOU FOR CALLING HIS NAME FOR NO REASON AT ALL and yet whenever you don't, he frowns and asks about your whereabouts. the yaksha that guards over liyue is certainly a strange character and an adoring laugh would've slipped out of you if you weren't too busy trying to wash away the metallic taste of blood in your mouth. amongst the cards delivered to your hands, you realized that one person hadn't sent one. of course, you didn't expect anything from him of all people but you were suddenly filled with the desire to seek his presence. now though, you wondered if you're still in any shape to converse casually. the dried tears that stuck to your cheeks made you look disheveled and though it was dark, you don't doubt that his piercing amber eyes would take note of it immediately. was your body's exhaustion really this fast approaching?

"i told you to speak my name when you need help," a voice from behind you flatly states. you don't do so much as flinch. you'd know that voice even from afar.

"xiao... it's been a while, huh? how do you do?"

the man in question frowns even deeper, allowing his polearm to disperse into fragments of lights before he approached your keeled-over form, "what are you croaking about? speak up. i can't hear you."

"gee, a little understanding, please?"

you didn't really take offense. if you had, then there was no way you could've befriended the sharp-tongued man who was just a few steps away from you by now. perhaps it was just a worthless attempt but you hoped that your little comment was enough to distract him, even just a little, from the gruesome sight you weren't able to clean up. who would've known that he was always watching your back from afar?

"who did that?"

"no one," you muttered, tense. it sounded more like a furious demand than a question and you don't think that you've ever heard such animosity from him ever since you met. heck, the way he spoke about his karma sounds tender compared to the tone he used now! "hey, calm down."

"you're bleeding. you need help."

xiao, despite not believing your words, motioned for you to come towards him. as much as he wanted to reshuffle the cards dealt by fate to whoever was dumb enough to lay a hand on you, he knew that he should probably find someone to assist you first. verr goldet should still be awake, he thinks as he glances at the moon that watched the scene curiously. time flows differently for the adepti and he couldn't be bothered to carry a watch when it doesn't apply to him but if he were to guess, it shouldn't be more than thirty past eight in the evening.

"i'm fine. there's nothing you can do to help me," you waved your hand haphazardly as you tried to stand, only to find xiao crouching in front of you.

"..." he grits his teeth, trying his hardest to fight the heat that was climbing up his pale neck, "what are you waiting for? it's faster this way so... just hurry up."

a confused sound escapes you and you half-believed that you just redefined speechlessness as you stared at his back. shifting your weight from one leg to another, you ultimately freeze as xiao turns his head slightly, just enough to meet your gaze impatiently but you knew him well enough to recognize the same shade of embarrassment on his pupils. deciding to cut the both of you some slack, you cautiously mounted his back and with an ease that made your heart skip a beat, he adjusted your position so you laid more comfortably and securely. despite your nervous fidgeting (caused by the very sharp reminder that his hands were firmly holding onto the flesh of your thighs), xiao doesn't seem to be having any trouble carrying your weight.

"um... i'm really fine... you don't need to do this. i must be really heavy, 'm so sorry..."

he only scoffs, squeezing your thighs as if to reprimand you, "you underestimate the strength of the adepti. this is nothing compared to what i have held long ago."

you don't reply, ashamed that you're taking this situation of context and even more ashamed that you're absolutely enjoying it. distracted by your fleeting thoughts, you don't notice that you have slowly nuzzled into the crook of his neck. it wasn't your intention but your subconscious desperately craved the warmth that exudes from his body. by the time you realized what you were doing, it was too late and you pretended to do it on purpose just because it felt a smidge less embarrassing.

with your bodies awfully close together, xiao desperately prayed that you didn't notice the way his breath hitched as your small sigh fanned a hot gust of air over his sensitive skin. he also prayed that you don't hear the wild pumping of his heart because he, himself, couldn't hear anything aside from that.

"xiao?" he tensed up, surprised at the intense thoughts that floated in his mind at the innocent call of his name. you're too near. you had only whispered his name prettily but in his mind, you might as well have screamed it until both his ears bled, "do you mind if we stop by dihua marsh first?"

"what? are you out of your mind? you're injured—"

"i promise i'm not—"

he ignores you're lighthearted laugh as he nearly growls, unconsciously digging his dull nails into your thighs that formed small, crescent-like engraving on your plush skin, "i can smell your blood from afar."

"hey, i really promise i'm fine. in fact, you can check for injuries right here and now!"

xiao pauses and you take it as him thinking over his options. when you slowly slid out of his grasp and he wordlessly let you, a small victorious smile curved on your lips, "if i see anything, i'm taking you to wangshu inn immediately and you better not utter another complaint."

"yes, yes... i understand. no need to frown so much," he doesn't speak of the bright twinkle in your eyes as you shrugged your coat off, twirling once to show that true to your words, no trace of blood could be seen on your clothes. aside from the remnants of the gore on your palms, you looked unscathed and xiao realized that he could finally breathe again.

"if you're not injured, what was that on your hand?"

you knew he'd ask eventually but that didn't stop the recoil from coming. nervously looking at the side, you took one long breath in before plastering a smile on your face as you met his ever-serious gaze, "about that... care to chat in a place more comfortable?"

xiao curiously raised a brow despite the seemingly permanent scowl on his face. still, he offered his gloved hand quite roughly though it was more endearing in your eyes, "to dihua marsh, right?"

"if it isn't too much trouble..."

"isn't it too late to say that?"

you only laughed at his little grumble, knowing full well that he doesn't mind taking you anywhere you wanted to go. why else would he go out of his way to accompany you to sal terrae three days after you mentioned it in passing? taking his hand gingerly, he immediately pulls you closer to him, and almost as quickly, a heady scent envelops you. for someone who claims that aromas do not cling to him after grueling hours of hunt, you sure could pinpoint that the fragrance on his clothes was one of the refreshing scents of qingxin flowers and honey-roasted almonds. it's faded now and you purse your lips in worry. surely that must mean that he hasn't been resting? xiao had the habit of having his beloved dish during the morning during the winter season, having been too exhausted by the increasing amounts of exorcisms he needed to do to bother eating upon his return.

shaking away your worry, you try to ignore the other underlying stench that coats him. death. it's nothing unpleasant like the decaying flesh of a cold corpse but there was something unique about it that you could recognize it as that. it was hard to describe but once you meet someone on their deathbed, you'll know. it's the scent of a fast-approaching demise carried by hundreds of volatile materials. who were you kidding? he deals with death so, of course, he'll smell like it. or maybe you've finally lost it and whatever scent you carried had rubbed off on him with your close proximity.

closing your eyes, you tried to focus on the good parts. the scent of the candied chestnuts and sweet potatoes that you ate earlier in your festival meal, the faint floral residue of the perfume you wore, the quick whiff you got of saltwater and sea plants... ah, you arrived. peering over xiao's shoulder, you tried to find a suitable spot to rest. you wouldn't appreciate your socks getting wet so definitely not near the waters. you have a hard time removing the dirt stains on your clothes so not the hills. the other parts are occupied by monsters and you couldn't be bothered with defeating them first.

biting back a sigh, you rolled your shoulders back. you might've been unusually picky tonight but you were about to relay some life-changing news. comfortability should be your right because soon it wouldn't even matter anymore. you swear it's just about that. you were certainly not procrastinating on the inevitable.

"we're here. speak now and fulfill your end of the bargain."

you chuckle nervously, "you really need to relax a little... would it kill you to be softer?"

"softness would do me no favors and neither would your avoidance. tell me now or i'll find out for myself."

" woah, there... is that a threat? we're not enemies here. i think i should remind you that."

he says your name once, eyes narrowed in a warning and you sigh in defeat, "okay. fine. i'm sick."

"sick? then shouldn't you be resting?"

you sighed, leaning against the trunk of an old tree, "like i said, it wouldn't help me."

"hmph. you mortals are so difficult. you say one thing and the other says another—"

"i'm dying," you interrupt him with a humorless smile, "there's no recovering no matter what i do so i'm out here walking while i still can. it's sad, isn't it?"

xiao swallows as he feels his blood freeze over. surely not? of all the people in liyue, he was one of those that painfully knew the permanency of death the best. it was not something to be thrown around as a foul joke! anger swells up in his chest but as he eyes the distraught hidden in your carefree smile, he finds his words dying in his throat. surely not...

"i was out here to say goodbye to you because... there probably won't be a next time. when you found me, i was just about to call for you but my body beat you to it."

he was certain that he was being delusional. of course, he has to be! the weight of his karma must've finally made his nightmares bleed into reality but that was it, wasn't it? nightmares, dreams... all of it could come blurring into the reality he perceives but they would never amount to be anything but that. dreams are dreams and reality is reality. there was no way that someone as pure and gentle as you would be fated to an early death. that was not how karma works. he would know.

"xiao? it's... a good time to say something? i'm getting pretty scared of your silence..."

the yaksha doesn't speak, doesn't breathe even as his fingers trembled at his side. you look too weak, too fragile to be the person he once knew. you try to reach out to him — anything to snap him out of his confused daze but he backs away. he backs away because the moment he feels your warmth radiate over his skin, he'll know that it was real — that he'd lose you many years before he expected to — and xiao refuses to accept that. he couldn't. it feels too much of a crime to add to his already long list.

"hey now... don't go avoiding speech when you just threatened me to say something..."

something foreign stirs in him. it's hot and suffocating and if that wasn't enough to say that it wasn't a good sign then nothing else would be. he's never been good with anything foreign, having been stuck in liyue for as long as he could remember and so when he feels that strange feeling bubble up — when he feels his chest close up and when he feels abnormally sharp claws carve at his heart, he schools his face to something colder, sinister even. he wanted to scream, claw his eyes out so the tears wouldn't fall but he can't do that. yakshas who knew death's caress as their first touch don't do that.

"unbelievable. you came all the way from the harbor to tell me this?"

"i— what?"

his grip grew taut and you notice. concerned eyes flitted from his eyes to his fists, convinced that he would've injured himself if it weren't for his gloves, "mortal life is fickle and death consumes your kind every day. there was no reason for you to tell me about such a common occurrence. if that is all, i'll be taking my leave. do not call for measly matters."

you watched as he teleported away, leaving you alone in the islet. not even the cicadas were around to accompany you tonight. it was just silence and unbearable cold.

you should've been mad at him for disregarding your life just like that. how cruel was it to say that you're overreacting when you were just a few hours away from certain doom? being mad was your right. no one would've judged you for it but how could you be mad?

he was crying.

you don't think you could bear to witness the sight one more time and so you left back to liyue harbor where it was easier to pretend that the voices in your head didn't exist.

CHRYSANTHEMUMS ARE BEAUTIFUL — and they would make for wonderful funeral flowers, you mused to yourself as you patiently eyed the vase that decorated director hu's office. she was out with zhongli doing god knows what but the undertaker in front was kind enough to let you wait inside. you'd rather not deal with the gossip that was sure to come. if someone were to catch you idling around in front of a funeral parlor, well, they'd surely jump to conclusions — correct conclusions.

"oho? ohoho? well, look who's visiting, mr. zhongli!"

"ah... yes... this is certainly a surprise but not quite unwelcomed. may i ask what brings you here?"

you laughed as hu tao came over to give you a hug, her cheeks smooshing against yours as she playfully cuddled into your seated form, "i came to inquire if that discount is still up for grabs?"

"hm? did you murder someone or something?"

"director hu," zhongli sighs as he offers you a cup of tea that was, thankfully, made already, "i hardly think that is an appropriate question to ask."

"no, it's fine. it's not a question i can't answer because i'm still perfectly innocent," you paused, "as far as i know?"

hu tao pulled away. with her seated in her chair properly, the scent of plum blossom that clung to her was gone and you could once again smell the incense that wrapped the entire building, "if not for some poor guy that you beat up, then for whom are you asking?"

"about that... aha, it's for me," your eyes meet zhongli's, and... who were you kidding, of course, he knew. the sad smile he sent you was comforting. it's nice to know that even after you pass, a god would still remember your name.

without letting hu tao ask, you recounted the interaction between you and the nuns of the church of favonius as well as your brief meeting with baizhu. aether had insisted that you get a second opinion and you didn't see the point when that night, you fainted out of the sheer pain that pierced through your chest once again. if there was truly hope left for you, then at least one of the potions albedo gave you would've quelled the pain, even if it was a measly bit.

"i see... i'm sorry to hear that. unfortunately, there is nothing that we can offer to suspend your fate but at the very least, we can give you a send-off to be remembered."

it's so strange to see her suddenly don a professional tone but you should've known better than to doubt her. despite her unusualness, hu tao was someone who's incredibly passionate about her job. you didn't need to know about funerary ethos to see that, "i was hoping i could leave the arrangements to you? i'm not really picky and i don't really have much time to ponder about the details. anything's fine as long as it's for close friends only uh... that is if they want to come..."

"i see... that can be settled. anything else?"

"i'd like chrysanthemums to be used and... um... is it possible to hold the rites without my body?"

"it could be done but... why?"

you shrugged casually. this was surprisingly an easy conversation though... you are talking to hu tao who has an unconventional but good perspective on life and death, "i don't think i'll be able to return to liyue from inazuma."

hu tao nods understandingly before proceeding to explain the things that were going to be done during the funeral itself. you wonder why she's telling you all of this when it wouldn't matter to you. still, you listen. this was important to her and it's... oddly heartwarming to see her determination as she worked.

"on behalf of everyone in wangsheng funeral parlor, no, everyone you've ever encountered, we are sorry to see you go. thank you for everything that you've done for us and we hope that you live the rest of your days to the fullest."

hu tao bows deeply in respect and zhongli follows suit, leaving you in an awkward position. you wanted to say that it wasn't necessary but maybe this was some cultural tradition that you didn't want to overlook. hesitantly, you bowed back out of respect before muttering that you had a ship to catch which, wasn't too far from the truth.

"please... allow me to walk you out."

zhongli sends you a polite smile, eyes seemingly hinting for you to accept and that was enough for you to indulge in curiosity. giving one last wave to hu tao, you step out of her office and into the well-maintained hallways of the establishment.

"forgive me if this is too intrusive to ask but... have you told anyone else?"

you huffed in amusement, "he knows if that's your true question."

"did you tell him yesterday?"

surprised, you only nodded as zhongli sighed with a soft shake of his head, "no wonder..."

"what do you mean by that?"

laying a hand on the small of your back, zhongli guided you away from a rushing passerby. liyue's streets are always busy. you don't think it'll ever stop for anyone, "miss goldet approached us in distress earlier. it was what director hu and i sorted when you first arrived."

"verr goldet? did something happen?"

"quite. a big chunk of dihua marsh was... damaged last night as the miasma seemed to mysteriously grow rampant."

you froze. xiao... "is he alright?"

"it's hard to be 'alright' when encountering such news..." he bitterly smiled, "loss is a battle constantly fought by those who have lived and will continue to live for many millennia. the more losses you have suffered, the less you know how to accept fate."

worry began etching itself on your features. this was far from what you expected to happen when you told xiao. if anything, it was him whom you expected to take the news the best as he had grown used to speaking words that portray him and death as close acquaintances. you were foolish to think that, in retrospect, and you wonder if you had made a mistake. as if sensing your thoughts, zhongli halts and briefly holds your hand as a signal.

"there is no outrunning the invitation of death however when you are told of this fact before you pass and you choose to silently take it to your grave, it is the living that must suffer the consequences of your action. mourning will never not cause pain but when you weren't told anything and weren’t given any time to anticipate loss, things that hurt, hurt more. "

zhongli pats your shoulder sympathetically, "that young adeptus has suffered a perilous life. it does not come as a surprise that he has run away from that which threatens to bring him pain once more. perhaps you would say that he should be used to such unexpected events after all that has transpired in the many wars he had witnessed but, dearest child, has he ever adored anyone as much as he adored you?"

"he hasn't... but he will," you cleared your throat, looking into the direction of yujing terrace, "he'll find someone who adores him just as much and he'll learn to return the favor."

the former archon chuckles as he follows your gaze, "do you say that to remove the guilt from your heart or do you say that because that is your wish for him? the words you speak now are words you could speak because he has spared you the sight of his anger and what is anger if not the part of him that loves you?"

"xiao cannot be judged by the same measure you use amongst your kind for he, himself, has suffered far too many grievances that none of you can comprehend. does it come as a shock when you see that anger is the only emotion he speaks?"

"anger... is the only emotion he speaks?"

"his affection has turned into an anger for his being that deserves none of your tenderness. his compassion has turned into an anger that drives him to continue to swear by his contract with rex lapis. now, his sorrow has manifested into an anger that screams for you whom he believed deserved a fate much kinder than what was bestowed. mayhaps not with him but xiao has only ever prayed for your safety and happiness. see him now and you'll see his resentment for the world that dared treat you with anything but kindness."

"is that why you're here?" you smile listlessly, "because you cannot fault him for his anger?"

zhongli shakes his head, mirroring your words from earlier, "is that your true question?"

"would you answer me if i told you it wasn't?"

"very clever," he chuckles with eyes misting over with subtle pride, "but if you must know... i simply think that one shouldn't miss such an opportunity. there is no greater pain than saying your farewells once the moment has passed when you had the chance to offer it in the moment it truly mattered.

"ah, i didn't realize we've walked this far. this is as far as i will go. please consider my words kindly and though it may mean very little now," zhongli lays a hand over your head as he tips his head slightly, "you have my blessing. may you go forth in prosperity.

"and he says he has placed his past behind..." you whisper to yourself as you make your way back to dihua marsh.

"you there! may i interest you with our selection of flowers?"

you blinked, "flowers?"

ONCE PERCHED AS A CROWN OF HOPEFUL DREAMS — nervously nibbling on your lip, you paced back and forth as you held your occupied hands in front of you. maybe this was a mistake and maybe zhongli was wrong to say that you should still venture to mutter your farewell when xiao has strictly told you to only call him if it's for urgent concerns.

ah, but is your passing not an urgent concern?

gulping, you looked at the bright blue sky above you. beidou wouldn't take it too kindly if you delay her any further when you were one of the people who pestered her to speed up the preparations for sailing. besides, if you didn't speak now, you wouldn't be able to speak to him ever again. with that in mind, you hugged the white chrysanthemums close to your chest.

"xiao," a soft gust of wind blows past your form and slowly, you opened your eyes to meet dull, amber ones.

"you called?"

"i did."

an awkward silence fills the small space in between you two and before he could utter something about leaving (you knew him and you recognize the downward curve of his lips), you spoke.

"i'm leaving for inazuma in a few hours and... i don't want last night to be our last conversation. i don't want you to hate yourself for telling me such words and i don't want to hate myself for keeping my silence. i think that... we both have too little time for that."

"...you're leaving?"

"i made a few friends in inazuma and while we spent the shortest time together, i figured i still owe them a goodbye," you walked towards the same tree you were leaning on before and sat under its shade, "sit with me?"

xiao hesitates before taking the spot beside you, leaving enough space so that you wouldn't be touching each other.

"...fair enough. um... i don't even know what i want to say but... i want you to listen. you can leave anytime you want. i won't hold it against you. you don't need to reply either. i just need you to hear me out or y'know... try to, at least."

taking his silence as his agreement, you looked down at your lap. you don't think you could meet his gaze. his eyes are too honest and his honesty was painful. too painful even for you who'll only need to bear it for a few more days, "uh so... i'm— fuck, okay."

"i'm sorry."

you pause in surprise, abruptly looking at him to see xiao's gaze turned to someplace far away, "what?"

"i'm sorry for running away and i'm sorry for not being able to protect you."

"you couldn't have done anything."

xiao scoffs, tracing over his mask bitterly, "isn't that the point? ...my feelings for you are difficult but i had sworn to you that i would protect you from whatever dares to lay you in harm's way. i didn't fail. i've come to your aid before anyone could even do so much as give you a scratch. i thought... that if i watched over liyue well enough, you'd at least live a prosperous life. i never dared ask for more. that much is enough."

"xiao..."

"but despite my efforts, death has no mercy and it sent a curse that i could never face. is this... a product of my karma? was the world's grudge so severe that it has to take the one person i swore to protect no matter what the cost?"

"this is not your fault! it's no one's so..." your indignant stance falters as he sends you a glare.

"do you think i'm so foolish that i don't know that? i do," he clenches his teeth, "but it doesn't change the fact that you're dying and i can't do anything. somehow, that makes me feel at fault no matter how absurd it sounds."

you slump further into the soil as he continues. in a similar absurd manner, it makes you feel sorry that you're dying, "you are... the only person who tried to understand me and succeeded and you'll be the only person to ever make me wonder about life's pleasures. i will remember you until my own demise comes and if sinners can receive the blessing of reincarnation too, then i shall remember you in mine as well."

for a while, you didn't respond and when you finally regained your bearings, you laugh lightheartedly, "and to think i came all the way here to ask you to let me go... i forgot how stubborn you can be."

"calling the adepti stubborn? hmph. you have some nerve."

"i still think it's better if you forget about me. it'll make you suffer less. make it hard to remember that i can't offer my comfort even if i want to with all my soul."

xiao raises a brow, a sigh escaping his lips as he sent you another half-hearted glare, "you might have forgotten so i shall remind you. though i am an adeptus, i could not care less about granting human wishes."

"and you don't ever have to worry about that," you scrunch your nose as you pinched his cheek much to his flustered surprise, "most people would rather live the rest of their lives in misery than bear through your agonizing glare."

"let me go—"

"you didn't let me finish."

"what now?" he mutters as he successfully pried himself off your grip.

"i won't tell you how to live your life. if you want to hold on to me until the next time we meet, fine by me. i'll rush to you as soon as i see you enter the pearly gates or something. if you want to remember my face until the very end of your years, then i'll remember your name for just as long but xiao... i also want you to be happy. i want to look down from up there and say 'ah, he's smiling... i'm glad.' i want you to try to live because if your adoration for me hasn't changed when we meet again, i'd want to be able to tell you that you carried me so well in your heart that it almost felt like i was still alive too. those simple wishes are the only things i'll ask from you because... hah, for the longest time that was my dream. i hoped to make you smile more myself but i don't think i'll be able to do that now... am i selfish for asking this?"

"you wish me happiness?"

taking his surprise as an opportunity, you laid the tightly knit carnations on his head, "why wouldn't i? you're the one this world owes it to the most."

"and this is?"

"a flower crown! i've always wanted to learn how to make one and that kind merchant in liyue taught me just in time. i'm offering the first and last one i'll ever make to you. i know you just said that you don't grant wishes but... is it bad for me to hope that i'm special enough to be spoiled by you?"

"such mortal accessories... do not suit me."

you rolled your eyes, "says who? you? invalid. i refuse to accept it. y'know... when you're not too busy glowering, you have really soft features that match such soft flowers."

xiao's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. thankfully, you knew him well enough to notice such minor changes. smirking in delight, you lean further into him as you watch a red hue slowly stain his skin, "oh? do compliments fluster you? my, my—"

"if you still want to go to inazuma in one piece, i'd shut up now."

"shutting up~"

chrysanthemums carry the weight of a million words. to some, they are a symbol of life and rebirth. to others, it's a symbol of devoted love and loyalty. to the less fortunate, they are tokens of grief — a beautiful message that honors the full life of the dead. chrysanthemums mean everything and anything but as you inched closer to xiao, no longer needing the respectable boundary between your two hurt souls, chrysanthemums could only mean the memory of someone to be cherished even beyond what this life could offer.

it's a shame that you must limit your shared joys to optimistic wishes but it'll do. even if the afterlife didn't exist, your equal adoration for him would continue to persist even after your body perishes. it was a promise. one you sealed with the crown he hesitantly wore.

“don’t tie down your happiness to me, xiao,” you lean on his shoulder, smiling softly when he didn’t pull away, “you deserve more than that kind of joy.”

╰ taglist

@dourpeep @justsidecharacterthings @nightfloweruponahill @chichikoi @genshiningg @bloopsimpsforxiao @midnightraindropme @infinite-cats @horangheyy @zephestia @diaflower @justlynna

© 2021 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐗𝐗. all rights reserved. do not copy, claim, repost or translate in any platforms but reblogs are appreciated.

Feeling Tipsy, Darling?

✾ pairing: kazuha x gn!reader

✾ synopsis: kaedahara kazuha was many things to you: poetic, compassionate, soft-spoken. the list of your lover’s qualities was endless in your eyes. though one quality of his that you didn’t expect to find so endearing…was drunk.

✾ warnings: intoxication/implied alcohol consumption. spoilers for the new summertime odyssey event. 

“In that case, I’ll have a glass of juice. Hm…this one. I like the color.”

You should have known better than to trust the bard with the drink choices. 

You feel Kazuha’s lips tickling the crook of your neck as he breathes out another giggle, the sound resembling that of a playful summer breeze. His arms tighten where they rest around your waist.

Just how strong were these fruit cocktails?!

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fuck