Me Giving A Pressed Conference: Our Advocacy For The Disabled Must Include The Addict, The Imperfect

An interesting demonstration of how the human brain works.

But also something of a lesson regarding perception, and the unreliability of subjective perspective versus objective reality.

You can be extremely certain about how you perceive the world, your "lived experience," that which you "feel it in my heart." But that doesn't mean it's actually true. And it doesn't mean we have to endorse it, or ignore or outright deny objective reality.

That's a "you" thing, not a "we" thing.

In Rapid Eye Moves, I Fall Right Back to You

Do you remember cycling

across the channel in September? Check

your front coat pocket. Tucked away,

a polaroid projected point

in time filled with love and joy and bright endless

afternoons. See those ruby seeds drip.

drip. dripping... from the corners

of chapped lips? It's strange, the way

they contrast your pale blue. We went to

find marigolds. Except,

I left with Asphodels -

I hope Wilbur is having a good day and that he gets to spend time with all the animals

So, my whole life I thought my favorite color was purple. “What’s your favorite color?” “Purple.” Always. That was my answer. And it wasn’t a lie. I truly believed my favorite color was purple.

And then my sophomore year of high school, someone I had just met in art class asked me if my favorite color was green. I have her a weird look and responded, “no, purple.” She shook her head “nope, you literally wear something green every day. Your favorite color is definitely green.” And I laughed it off. We’ve been friends ever since, and she hasn’t let it go. “Where’s the green?” “There’s the green!” And I never thought twice about it.

But lately I’ve started noticing that my closet is full of green clothes. And while I do find the color purple very beautiful, I actually prefer green. And I find the color green just, very attractive. And I realized that green is my fucking favorite color.

This makes it sound like green being my favorite color was forced upon me, but honestly it was nothing like that. Green has always been my favorite color, I was just not able to see it and accept it.

And I’ve also recently realized that when I write this short story, you could replace a few choice words and this would be the explanation of how I realized I was gay.

my brother is sitting in the chair in my room studying a practice test thing for his final test before he becomes a fully certified EMT tomorrow and he’s mumbling some of the questions out loud and he just went “a child has fallen from a monkey at school…” and he just got dead quiet and stared at the wall for like a solid minute with the most stricken look on his face before he whispered “there’s no protocol for monkeys”

bro

bro it means monkey bars 

tell me this isn't them to a tee

A Lovejoy Song is a Little Black Dress

Lovejoy’s lyrics are dense, with very few throw-away lines. Will Gold never just takes an easy ride on a metaphor.  (No shade to metaphors.) It seems he doesn’t write songs, he gives birth to them, and it must be exhausting. 

As a collection, the songs cover just about every possible relationship stumble a floundering person can experience.  There are bouts of hubris, self-loathing, envy, self-confidence, insecurity, and half a dozen other feelings. There is something relatable and personal for everyone.  Listen to the words -- these are songs you sing, not songs you hum -- and you will find something that describes your experience. Someone knows what you have been through and figured out how to express it. If a line doesn’t fit, just wait two bars and try on the next one.  These poems work for everyone. 

And then there’s the constant swapping of perspective.  Will oscillates between first and third person. He talks to her, about her, to him, about him, to him about her, and about himself from the outside and the inside.  In the same song.  At first it drove me nuts. It made me work a little to follow the narratives, flipping the lyrics on their head to make them work.  The narratives are compelling enough to make it worth the effort.  But then I came to love it. 

I love the POV shifting for the versatility it permits. No matter your gender or who you are pining for, there is a verse that speaks directly to you. Despite the straightness of the overall theme, Relationship Misadventures of a Cis-Het Man, there are countless opportunities for queer interpretations if the lyrics are taken in pieces. Gay men (and straight and lesbian slash enthusiasts) get to hear Wilbur Soot sing he or him, if only for a verse. He sings about liking and not liking new boyfriends and girlfriends…Is his ex dating a girl now? Is the ex a boy or a girl? Whose girlfriend is she? Are you jealous of him or of her? Who were you in the back seat of the car with?!? Anyone you want it to be.  These work for men, women, straight, gay, and my favorite, heteroflexible. Sure, we know what he meant. But choose your own adventure.  

A Lovejoy song is a Little Black Dress. Versatile. Sexy. Always appropriate. Now go put it on.

Verm-Vykkennpest:

Common Name - Vykker’s Fervor

"Look upon her frail beauty and think on the temporary nature of this bleak and unwieldy existence. For only in death can we truly appreciate the fragility of her life."

A newly emerging epidemic that seems to have arisen from the recent industrial revolution taking place at the center of the Avarice Empire. Vykker's Fervor is a disease affecting the lungs and bloodstream. Because it is so recent, there is an excess of misinformation being spread about the disease. In fact, some might argue that these misconceptions have traveled faster than the illness itself. This is false. Doctors studying the disease have discerned that the illness is caused by the overuse Of fossilized Vysterthorn roots harvested from sections of the Vermylliik forest which the Empire had set ablaze in their attempt to stop the spread of the Vermillion Draft. Despite this, information warning of the unforeseen consequences of this new technology has failed to gain traction due to ‘An Unprecedented Economic Growth Caused by its Introduction to the Industrial Sector’ Those knowledge about the illness would argue it has more to do with the unprecedented growth of men's pockets, but that is besides the point  

Aproximately 65% of the Capitals population are currently infected with the Verm-Vykkenpest virus, better known as Vykker’s Fervor. What is unique about this illness is the slow progression of the disease. Until recently, Verm-Vykkenpest was a largely unknown disease that only affected those living in close proximity to the Vermylliik forest. Of those infected with the disease, approximately 10% of those will, on average, reach a point of active infection. If treated properly, only 3% of those who reach active disease are likely to die of the illness. This is likely the reason the disease had remained largely unknown prior to about 4 decades ago. Statistically, the illness has a very minor chance of fatality. However, that was prior to the disease gaining its terrifying strangle hold on larger centers of civilization. 

Symptoms of Verm-Vykkennpest include sudden weight loss, shortness of breath, pale translucent skin, sunken eyes, insomnia, lethargy, persistent bruising, And bleeding.

As the disease progresses, the symptoms will slowly worsen. The first sign of this progression to late stage active disease is the coughing up of blood as well as the discovery of blood in the urine and stool. This is caused by the infection of the lungs and other organs slowly tearing away at the lining of the lungs until they eventually drown as the lungs are filled with blood and puss. The thinning of the blood also means that bruising and injuries caused by blunt force are much more likely to cause unseen bleeding, which would not usually be fatal. 

The disease has been found to be dramatically worsened by several factors: weakened immune system and an unhealthy lifestyle. Doctors believe this is why the symptoms of  those living in large population centers progress so quickly. This is also why Vykker's Fervor has become so widely known as a ‘rich man's disease.''’ Those looking to their local newsstand reading about the illness will only see reports of rich affluent members of society in silent repose and languishing in quiet apathy. This, of course, is only highlighted by the sudden change in feminine fashion. For example, it was published in a recent issue of Farfengel Femina that women hoping to ‘achieve to feminine Ideal’ should adopt these new self care habits.

- Line the veins with blue pencils to give the illusion of pale paper thin skin.

- Lace one’s corset to appear more thin and gaunt.

- Brushing one's face and neck with arsenic powder.

- Applying Essence of belladonna to achieve the sunken eye look.

- Redden one's lips and cheeks to mimic the feverish glow of sickness.

We have also seen a shift To lighter, pastel colors in women's dress to further emphasize the small, sickly, waifish look now popularized in fashionable society. Meanwhile, these same fashionable magazines ignore the hundreds of sick, disenfranchised, working class communities over Run with the disease. Individuals who are not only more susceptible To the illness, but who's lack of disposable income means that they will not have the same access to care as their more affluent peers. While the rich upper class flee to the countryside for fresh air and undisturbed restfulness, those of the lower classes will be condemned to the state sponsored sanitorium, locked away from their families. There, they will be left to waste away in large poorly kept dormitories and subjected to untested, experimental, often barbaric treatments with no basis in modern medicine. 

Have Mercy - I'm Gonna Be Ok