An Ongoing Series ‘Severus Snape As Gina Linetti’

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

O my goodness I’m howling this is hilarious!!

Percy Jackson probably has a tiktok account where he posts extremely weird POVs that are about his life and super specific put a finger down tiktoks. The @ is probably like f_theolympians or ariel_is_my_niece. Something weird like that. Everyone thinks he’s just really creative and he tells them that everything actually happens but no one believes him. His responses to comments are also the best

Comment: wasn’t this kid a suspected terrorist that blew up the gateway arch

Percy: i was 12, karen

Comment: i’m convinced percy thinks the greek gods are real

Percy: convinced? bitch i know they exist because they keep ruining my life :)

Comment: if a 14 year old was actually capable of blowing up mt. saint helens, i would die

Percy: the enterance to the underworld is at doa records in california. tell charon i was the cause of your death

Some of his tiktoks include

POV: your ares the god of war after i beat you at a fight when i was 12 years old

POV: your my dad about to smite me because i stood on your throne on olympus

POV: your the fish watching me and my girlfriend kiss underwater

POV: your my emo cousin taking me to bathe in the river styx so i can fight my old camp counselor that is the host of kronos

POV: your my best friend now girlfriend burning my funeral shroud because I was missing for 2 weeks and presumed dead after I crash my own funeral

Put a finger down if you were turned into a hamster when you were 13 and now at 17 you still crave lettuce from the experience

Put a finger down if you were prophesied to die at 16 but no one told you until days before your 16th birthday

Put a finger down if you ever fell into Tartarus with your girlfriend and while you were down there choked the goddess of misery with her own poison and almost died because you killed dozens of arai that inflicted all the curses people wished upon you

Put a finger down if you were ever kidnapped by Hera and put to sleep for a few months and when you woke up you had amnesia and were then trained by the wolf goddess Lupa who sent you off to a camp without telling you the location so you lived on the streets and stole a police cruiser while being chased by 2 gorgons and slid down a hill into oncoming traffic on a serving tray

Put a finger down if your 6th grade Latin teacher and your best friend lied to you for half of the school year trying to convince you that your pre-algebra teacher never existed despite the fact that your Latin teacher gave you a pen that transformed into a sword to kill your pre-algebra teacher after she turned into a Fury hellbent on killing you making you think that you were going insane only to find out that summer that your the son of Poseidon, your Latin teacher is Chiron the centaur, and your best friend is a satyr

The teachers in their different school “house groups”:

The students:

snape: miss granger, that potion looks exactly as it should do, ten points from gryffindor for cheating

snape: mister longbottom, i see your cauldron has caught fire somehow, you have detention tonight

snape: mister malfoy, you only burned your eyebrows off this time, twenty points to slytherin

snape: mister potter...what is that in your cauldron?

harry: barbecue sauce

snape: why?

harry: you're gonna yell at me no matter what i do, so might as well have chicken nuggets

So accurate.

ENFP : I just saw a guy in the library cry for five minutes or so and then his phone alarm went off and he just...stopped crying ? And went right on back to work.

INFJ : Yeah that was just ESFJ

ESFJ : [walking past them] it's called time management.

wait for it

The people who love you Really Do love you. Your friends don’t secretly hate you. You matter to people. You are loved. Learn to believe it even if you think it isn’t true.