O My Goodness I’m Howling This Is Hilarious!!

Annabeth: I’ll have the salad, no nuts please.

Waiter: Of course

Percy: It didn’t say it had nuts.

Annabeth: I’m allergic, so I tell them to be safe.

Percy: That makes sense.

Waiter: And for you?

Percy: I’ll have the steak, no bees please.

I am screaming lmao also this reminds me of @rosewater1997

This is bloody adorable

ok so you know that soulmate au that u reblogged a few days ago where ur soulmate’s name is written somewhere on your body? but it happens on the canon pjoverse and like chiron is percy’s teacher and he realizes percy is talking to annabeth etc etc you know which one I mean right? well if you wrote that one I would die pretty please w sugar on top :)

So here’s the thing. Bia sent this to me A YEAR AGO (this is how we became pals!! she messages me abt it too!!) and I started it and never finished. BUT feeling chaotic so here is what I have.

Also I don’t remember the initial post this is based off of so if it was your post lmk!

also on ao3

______

When he was seven, there was a crippling carving into his wrist like someone was outlining his veins with a steak knife.

Well, that was a little dramatic, it was really just a sharp, neat tingling. Heart pounding, he pulled up his sweatshirt sleeve to see the word “hammer” written in black with a check mark next to it.

“Mom?” Percy screamed, eyes widening.

The tinging continued, “hammer” soon followed by “snack” and then “hairbrush.” The word “snack” was checked, but after a beat the word “hairbrush” was crossed out.

Keep reading

Cheers to the people who, if they went to hogwarts, would drop divination the SECOND they could because climbing those bloody stairs was SO EXHAUSTING!

Even though I was not yet born when 9/11 happened, I would like to take a moment to remember all those who died.

The children and adults on the plane who died scared and alone.

Those who died in a burning building never seeing their kids or family again. Never able to say goodbye.

The essential service workers who died protecting and saving the lives of others.

The people who suffered injuries that will affect them for the rest of their lives.

The Muslims who face persecution for crimes they never committed or agreed with.

Families who lost their loved ones.

19 years later. We will always remember.

True-est of the true. I am this person stopping my Gryffindor friends from being stupid.

Okay but you know that joke about all Slytherins having a Hufflepuff best friend? (which is essentially just the “give them a lovely item” idea from Ouron High School Host Club. Don’t deny it) Well every Gryffindor has an emotional support Ravenclaw to reel in their dumbest impulses. 

Luna was basically this for the Golden Trio. 

Other examples: 

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. 

everybody go home this is the best tweet of the day

A collection of stuff that make me crack up laughing because the whole world is miserable and people need to laugh: (feel free to add some of your own)

A collection of stuff that make me crack up laughing because the whole world is miserable and people need to laugh: (feel free to add some of your own)