Just Got Back From A Jail Break, So I Picked Up Some More.

And once more, I find myself hiding in a dumpster.

On a completely unrelated note, the GCPD do not like it when you put a glitter bomb in what you THOUGHT was the car of a bad cop

“You lay your head upon a pillow made from the skin flayed off the bones of your enemies and yet you do not even lose a wink of sleep at night.”

He took a long sip from his juice box and said in calm voice barely concealing the anger within it, “First off, I have insomnia so it’s better to do a fact check before making random assumptions about people barely know, Asshole. ”

Was anyone gonna tell me Riddler and Penguin have an animal crossing island or was I just supposed to get scammed by them to find out? Furthermore THEY HAVE THE FULL ART GALLERY

Don’t even THINK about flirting with me if your not willing to lie to the cops and break me out of jail. Not bail, like some wimp. BREAK.

So I play lots of video games, and I ENJOY lots of video games. Here’s the problem.

I’m a shit shot. I cannot, for the LIFE of me, aim a virtual gun. Now I still have options. Games that don’t require guns, Minecraft and other creative games, etc.

but once in a while, I like to play games like TF2. But I don’t wanna drag my team down with my bad aim. So what do I do? Healers. I try to be a healer of the team. And can I just say, for someone who just threw a tantrum because the didn’t have the common sense to MOVE OUT THD WAY WHEN YOUR GETTING SHOT AT, y’all be talking mad shit to your healers. NEWS FLASH, we can let you die. We’re nog bound to heal you. We determine whether your dumb ass live or dies. Respect your fucking healers

GIRLS GAYS AND NON BINARY BAES

I SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP

So I was walking with my backpack full of the days loot right, and overall very profitable day, decided to treat myself and keep a bracelet, average night right?

And so I’m making my way home, and I hear some punk getting mugged in an alleyway, he calls out to me for help, and I’m like “aw shit I can’t just leave him” so I get in a tussle with the mugger, I’ve got him against the wall, I’m about to give him a good pop to knock him out, buy the both of us time to get away, when I see it

Fucking RED HOOD, DROPS FROM THE ROOF AND LANDS LIKE ITS NOTHING, mind you that was probably a fifteen foot drop AT LEAST, looks at the guy, looks at the guy that was getting mugged, looks at me, and asks which one of our asses he has to kick.

Remember, I have and ENTIRE BACKPACK full of stolen stuff, and now I’ve got a guy up against a wall. I release him, put my hands up, and back away slowly, and as soon as the guy getting robbed starts talking, I fucking booked it

Like HELL I was sticking around, I’m not too fond of the idea of prison

But that’s not the worst part

No, the worst part is I just found a note saying “dear corvid, thanks for the help”

The bats know who I am now. More importantly, THEY KNOW WHERE I LIVE

Good news: I had my big debut!

Bad news: I used a stupid one liner

So I was in a supermarket buying bread for the pigeons, and was at the front when a guy pulled a gun and was robbing the register. Typical Gotham. He gets the money, and something hit his hand and the gun fell near me. Now everyone in Gotham knows how to use a pistol. So I pick it up, point it at him, and asked that he give me the money. He does, and I go “welp, gotta fly!”

GOTTA FLY. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME HOLY FUCK

but good news I’ve got an outfit in the works!

Update: THAT SOMETHING WAS A BASEBALL FUCKING LUCKY THREW HE WAS TRYING TO HELP ME

Oh, oh, you meant--! Haha, you meant that I should become acquainted with the lab members! Oh, see, there's--*stands in front of door, from behind which banging and groaning occurs*--there's been a funny little misunderstanding!

When you said to "make friends", I--*elbows the door to get the things behind it to quiet down*--I may have, aha, um... Misconstrued your words.

Bro GCPD cops will just LEAVE THEIR FOOD IN THEIR CARS like do they have any idea how easy it is to pry the door open

This could save lives so I thought I’d share!