The Zionist Genocide And Warmongering Will Likely Be Remembered As The Death Of The U.S.-centric, UN-mediated

Idk about y'all but I personally think anyone referring to scars, vitiligo, and cellulite as a fetish thing is saying more about themselves than they realize they are.

Wow, mad skills

“First season of LEVERAGE - so he's 21 years old - he shows me his watch designs. I'm expecting, y' know, celebrity strap branding or faces. No, it's engineering schematics of GEARS and shit. Pages of them. Even then, there were none so cool.” - John Rogers

I can imagine that the Mintari might come to regret that treaty.

Humans are weird: The Monster Inside

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

I was an observer at the time sent by the Mintari command to coordinate the war effort alongside humanity against the Tempari Regime. A temperate people, the Tempari were roused into conflict with my people over the destruction of a religious comet that was projected to impact one of our colony worlds. Diplomatic talks were waylaid by feverous religious zealotry and so war was declared not long after.

Humanity interestingly enough had not been drawn into the conflict at first as they were not labeled as a belligerent by the Tempari. They would have remained out of the war entirely were it not for a defensive treaty they had signed some six of their months earlier. A notion they no doubt regretted but they still came and now found themselves facing down a Tempari fleet three times their number.

Admiral Horner was unusually calm about the entire situation; or at least that is how he presented himself. Humans are notoriously difficult to read when they wish to be and the Admiral was showing nothing beyond a calm calculating nature as his ships spread out.

I was wondering what rash move he would take to engage the Tempari. It was another well-known habitual that when humans came up against impossible odds they would always do the unexpected and somehow emerge victorious.

The Admiral opened a direct line of communication to the Tempari flagship. For the first time in recorded history a human admiral spoke directly to a Tempari fleet commander. Their name was Gilyan and they opened dialogue by asking the humans to abandon my people; that this war was not theirs to fight and if the humans departed now they would not be harmed.

It was a tempting offer and I must admit that I felt my hearts beat faster as Horner failed to rebuff the offer. I worried that they would indeed leave us to our fate and when the Admiral finally stood up and straighten their uniform I had all but stopped breathing.

“Did you say goodbye to your son?”

Whatever I had been expecting this certainly was not it, and the Tempari appeared just as caught off-guard as I.

“Excuse me?” Gilyan asked.

“Your son,” Admiral Horner continued as he took out a small wooden pipe and lit the end of it, “did you say goodbye to them before you deployed here?”

“I did not.” Gilyan replied cautiously.

“A pity.” Horner remarked as he took several puffs from his pipe and then looked at the Tempari commander. I watched as quietly a series of targeting vectors began appearing over on ship amongst the Tempari lines. It wasn’t the flagship and as far as I could see it was just another Tempari light cruiser, but every gun in the human fleet was now locked on to it as the Admiral gave his final words before the storm.

“No parent should outlive their child.”

The communication went dead as the entire fleet opened fire as one on the light cruiser. Shields of bright purple flared for a moment, straining to hold off the torrent of firepower before bursting like a popped bubble.

Countless warheads, rail gun rounds, plasma lances, and all other manner of ordinance peppered the hull of the cruiser causing it to buckle and break like a twig in a raging stream before finally the inevitable happened.

What had been a light cruiser just moments before was now a cluster of debris slowly floating amongst the Tempari fleet.

Before I had any time to ponder what had just happened the Admiral began issuing fleet wide orders for a withdrawal. Under a storm of Tempari return fire the allied fleet began turning around and engaging their jump drives to flee out of system. At the head of the fleet was the Tempari flagship recklessly charging ahead of their fleet leaving it dangerously exposed; yet the Admiral refused to turn and engage them. Their cannons claimed three human ships before our own flagship made the jump and left the system. 

“You know they can track our trajectory.” I offhandedly remarked to the Admiral as he reclined into his command throne.

“I am aware.” The Admiral replied dryly. “They will follow us; of that I am sure.”

“And why are you so sure?” I asked.

The human looked at me and with a grin that could make their devil pale they said, “Because we just killed their commander’s son.”

--------------------------- What followed was what came to be known as the “Bloody Quadrant”.

The human fleet led the Tempari fleet on a wild chase throughout the entire Quadrant. Always near but just out of reach of their grasp. A place the humans had carefully crafted them to be in.

Every time the Tempari fleet would exit a jump they would find themselves in a deadly trap.

In the Gameri system the Tempari fleet exited a jump directly into a massive nuclear minefield that took out thirteen of their capital ships.

In the Hulv Nebula they were ambushed by small squadrons of frigates that picked off their supply and repair ships before retreating.

Worse yet was when the human fleet actually appeared to turn and fight above the moon of Y’op only to detonated previously hidden explosives within the orbital body and shatter the moon. They jumped out of system just as the debris field of the former moon showered the Tempari fleet decimating a third of their remaining forces.

I could not help but ponder why the Tempari were so intent for battle even after suffering such terrible losses, but at the same time I had known the answer.

By killing the Tempari commander’s son in the opening battle the humans had driven them into a blind rage. Their thirst for revenge would not allow them the luxury of letting the humans escape, and by remaining so close to them they ensured the blood lust would continue to build and cloud their judgment.

At the end only the Tempari flagship and fifteen escort vessels remained when Admiral Horner had decided the chase had reached its end. They were battered and scoured with the battle damage from a dozen battles and now they faced off against the entire allied navy.

“Will you offer them terms of surrender?” I asked as the Tempari formed up for the final time. The human shook his head.

“I will not insult them anymore than I already have.” He spoke in a stoic voice. “We will let them die well.”

To my surprise I could detect hints of remorse in their voice as the Tempari charged at our ship.

One by one the escorts were picked off until only their flagship remained making a suicidal charge at our ship. I watched as it shrugged off round after round of concentrated rail gun fire as it pressed forward and it looked that it would collide with us and carry out its final revenge.

A thermal warhead struck its rear thrusters at the last moment. The two ships scraped and grinded against each other’s hulls and the entire ship shook with a force I would equate to an earthquake. Countless human crewmen were thrown from their seats and some of the less lucky ones were dashed against the metal terminals of their posts and fell limply to the ground, blood pooling around them from their wounds. The Admiral watched unmoving from his throne as his ship sparked and screamed in pain until finally the nightmare ended.

The Tempari ship drifted behind our ship, now dotting countless holes and trails of smoke from plasma fires raging across multiple decks. Admiral Horner didn’t even bother to watch as his rival finally met their end, and instead relinquished the bridge to his second so he could go to his quarters to rest.

“They’ll call you a monster for this.” I couldn’t help myself from saying as the enemy flagship finally detonated.

With a look of disappointment in their eye the Admiral turned to me. “I should hope so; war makes monsters of us all.”

Wait, beneath the sea floor?

OUGHGH??

OIUOHGHHVOIH!!!!!

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

Really happy to see this at my local library

Anyway

I feel this