Wait, Beneath The Sea Floor?

I look down over the edge of the thin ledge as I attempt to scoot along it. I can't see the bottom. I ponder whether I really love her quite this much. Going to hell and back sounds easy compared with following this goats' path across this cliff face where anything by other than good luck will mean certain death. Especially the comforting "and back" bit. I'm usually so sensible. How on earth did I end up here?

Don't look down. I close my eyes.

I press my back and hands harder into the cliff and slide my right foot a little further along. Then my back. Then my left foot. I peek over my right shoulder. Only another 5 metres.

Right foot. Back. Left foot. Right foot. Back. My left foot gets caught on the uneven terrain. For a moment I wobble, and my stomach lurches (not helping!) I press myself back harder against the cliff and lift my foot over the obstruction.

My therapist would be so impressed with how much I'm living in the moment right now.

I continue until my right foot hits a rock. I try to look down at the rock but the lighting is bad and I can't quite see it. I scoot my left foot over and then trace the rock out with my right. When I come level with my left foot I expect to find more of the ledge, but it's not there. Lowering my right foot further, still no ledge. I raise it again and balance my right foot on the rock. I look further to the right. I'm only 1-1.5 metres from where I need to be. Just out of reach.

I try harder to see if I can see where the ledge resumes. I think I see it, just one stride away. I pull a rock out of the cliff behind me and toss it. I see and hear it bounce off the ledge before falling, falling. I don't hear it hit the bottom.

I mentally rehearse my next moves. I'll bring both feet onto the rock. I'll swing my right foot wide and hopefully hit the ledge where it continues. If I miss... Well, better I don't think about that. My stomach churns and I want to pee. My hands feel clammy. My head starts spinning. I am surprised by how loud my breath sounds. I try to relax, despite pinning myself to the edge of a cliff.

I hate heights.

I breathe deeply and then start enacting my plan. I hesitate one more time, before swinging my foot over the distance. Then commit. For a moment my foot swings through empty air, even as my weight shifts. My stomach lurches again and I wish that I believed in a higher power.

It's an eternity before my foot comes down on the ledge. I pause, straddling the gap, heart beating in my ears. I wiggle my back a little to get more comfortable. I scoot my right foot over just a bit more, then, placing all my weight on it, I swing my left foot down from the rock and over the gap to where my right foot first landed.

Two more steps and I'm off this ledge.

When I reach the bridge, I climb over the railing and fall to my hands and knees. I sob and my whole body shakes with the after effects of the adrenaline. I contemplate curling into a ball. I breathe deeply.

I check my pocket, there she is, still asleep. Unaware of the trials her adventure inspired. My heart melts.

"Get a kitten", my therapist suggested. "It'll help you stay present." Sure, a kitten. But no more outside exploring for you.

Writing Prompt

There was a very brief moment – where it was unwelcome and far too late – where he wondered who managed to talk him into this.

Literally sobbing. A judge, a US judge defended us. A judge brought up intersex people, using the term intersex, to *defend* us by not allowing our erasure. I'm having a lot of feelings right now

Since this blew up considerably, if you would like to help a disabled intersex person afford their medications and transportation to appointments, please consider sending a dollar or two via cashapp to $ElJay777 🥰 Absolutely no pressure, no guilt trips here. Just if you have it to spare and would like to help. Truly inspiring and encouranging to see this post reach so many and have so much love shown, thank you all so much for seeing us and supporting us. It really makes a difference ❤️

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

Why have children if you hate children?

Demons are real and they write for the new york times.

The New Republic

Trump Wants Snitches to Report on DEI. There’s Just One Problem.

Donald Trump wants people to expose diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts in the federal government. The idea is already flopping.

The threat was loud and clear: Report your so-called “DEI” employees or else. What exactly “DEIA or similar ideologies” means is up in the air, but the message was out there. And so was the email address of the DEIA snitching hotline. Fake emails quickly started to roll in. ‘I don’t care, fuck these McCarthyite bastards,” one BlueSky user said, with an screenshot attached of an email to the hotline where he ironically reported Donald Trump and JD Vance for being “put in their positions solely because of their race and/or gender despite the fact that they are wholly unqualified for their jobs and, in some cases, have criminal records.” “Anyone have a script to fire off a billion e-mails an hour??” another user asked in the replies. “Anyone can email anything of any size even if it crashes the site,” one X user noted. The scope and effectiveness of this latest phase of Trump’s anti-DEI crusade remains to be seen.

I know most of tumblr is thinking about the USA right now. but fuck the nz government right now too. tomorrow, the treaty principles bill, the 'worst, most comprehensive breach of Te Tiriti in modern times' is being introduced to parliament early, because there were activations planned country wide and the cowards decided to pull it forwards. fuck this government. a friend of mine had to go home early, crying. I've been in shock all day since it came out.

check on your Māori friends, e hoa mā. see what they need. see how you can help. everyday, we see and experience racism. from people around us, up to our government. community care will save us.

I really do think he’s gonna declare martial law on Easter. Things are ramping up.

I've only ever seen this in screenshots before..n

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

WPR

Ahead of Wisconsin Supreme Court election, Elon Musk PAC offers cash for pledge

Less than two weeks out from Wisconsin's high stakes Supreme Court election, Elon Musk's political action committee is offering voters $100

This was wildly illegal last time Musk did it, but he wasn't arrested and laws no longer apply to republicans, so here we are.

I beg of you, Wisconsin. Save your bodily autonomy, non-gerrymandered maps, and stand up against vote buying by voting for Susan Crawford in the April 1st election.