'Boeing’s Aircraft Is Considered The Most Prominent Private Aircraft In The World, Used By Governments

"Ready to"

When you think of yourself as a living tool that's just there to perform a function, but then you realize there are people out there who see you as a living being and they'd be upset if you died, and you're like, oh, now I guess I'm literally going to have to fight death haha

hey don’t cry. spiro the bald eagle failing at catching a crab, okay?

2025 is a good number, it’s a quarter of the way through the 20 hundreds and it’s got that nice set of 2s separated by only a 0. not bad. whatever happens this year at least it’ll be happening during a good number 😌

I wrote this piece on a whim a few years ago. I really like how it came out.

Talks with my dog

When the aliens came they spoke with everything; insects, marine animals, birds, wild animals, our farmstock and our pets! Some of us were worried about what the animals would say about us, some were excited about the possibility of animal to human translation. Some said they even spoke to the micro-organisms in the soil.

We thought they'd talk with us next. These beings who could communicate with every thing else on our planet. We sent them invitations to summits. We tried to have conversations with them when we saw them.

They didn't even look at us.

Some idiot with a gun got angry at being ignored and shot one. The response was violent and definitive, the whole town died within seconds. The state retaliated, as did the country. As far as we know there are no humans left alive over there now.

We might have all gone to war, except that our pets, the insects and the very birds attacked anyone who approached weaponry and missile storage locations. Anyone who got past them was violently ill. Those who persisted died of ruptured bowels, blood toxicity.

They left, never talking with us.

I'm making progress in talks with my dog.

Me too!

Endou Yuu versus the cosmic unknown 

I've only ever seen this in screenshots before..n

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

But did they catch it and put it back near a pond?

im sorry, this is absolutely terrible but I did laugh a little (guiltily)

LEGO - Rubber Duck