Me When I

Funky Mazalean Man Post

I got this AU from Joel making a tree out of the corruption

Mazala the healing kingdom is NOT were any demon wants to be. After all the place is packed full of azalea plants. What’s wrong with corrupting azalea you may ask. Well I’ll tell ya.

Azalea plants LOVE being in the hottest places they can find. So as a warm blooded person if you stand in one spot for to long you’ll be have vines up to your knees in no time.  And it just so happens that the corruption is the spiciest thing around.

C!Scott: I’m surprised that the Demon has only corrupted this this small amount 

C!Joel: Corrupted? OH, no no that’s paint.

C!Scott: Paint?

C!Joel *splashing a bucket of water on the ground* Yep paint :)

C!Scott: cool *internally screams

that boys girls meme but with the batkids

❤️❤️❤️❤️

sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis

Bruce Wayne as Matches Malone but like more.

As in Matches is one of the major mob boss's of the city.

But like no one knows about it.

And Bruce never bothers to tell anyone because he thinks everyone trails him or something.

Batman's no kill rule isn't here because Matches ain't Batman.

It also makes the "Batman can't kill because he's an icon" and the "Bruce Wayne(not Brucie) can't kill cause he won't stop" Thing null.

So like Jason goes boom and Matches "goes into hidding" which the other criminals find valid because Batman's going crazy.

After a bit Matches comes out of hidding and for some reason Red Hood likes him.

Which is obviously a little strange because he has beef with Batman and Bruce Wayne.

But whatever.

OH MY GOD IS THAT JASON!!!!

ARE YOU LIKE TAUNTING ME OR SOMETHING!!!

Anyway Bruce is like okay cool im gonna get shot if I tell him but I'm gonna get shot if I tell him later…

Might as well update his will…

Alt

The Batfam does know and they get Malone Identities. 

All of them Have M nicknames with gimmicks pertaining to the name.

Like Matches has fire and arson

All the names I've come up with so far is:

Dick- Mint: He smokes a thing of knock out gas that smells like mint(Bat produced so nothing's going on with his lungs)

Kate- Mast: Ship captain/ Port over seer

Bettie- Maestro: she found a cool mindcontrol stick

Jason- Mojo: Court jester(he made the identity pre ca-boom as a dig at Joker so now he's stuck with it.)

Barbra- Motor: Drag racer/ getaway driver

Tim- Moxie: Makes you get a pep in your step with kind words and this Tommy(the gun) he found

Stephanie- Mask: like a shapeshifter but with nanobots

Cassandra- Molar: The bone stealer that prefers teeth

Damian- Moth: he gets hit with this gas that makes him have an army of lab grown moths

Duke- Mist: Like Batman but it's fog instead of shadow

There are like three to for of these are a reach but idc

Note:

All the Bats are immune to the knock out gas so there's a thing in their suits that knocks them out while de-Maloned

Note 2:

post ca-boom the excuse they made for Jason not showing up is that he went to clown college to one up the joker in honor of his favorite robin. 

When he came back and the guys minds were boggled that clown college made him jacked.

Note 3: I gave Tim a Tommy gun specifically so I a could say "Timmy with the Tommy"

Both were filled at the same time with the same water, only one had oysters.

Ethan, you wanna see some shit?