Latest Posts by j0233 - Page 2

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Rey attacking Kylo Ren in The Force Awakens (2015) // Rey kissing Ben Solo in The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

I really enjoyed it too. I wish the fandom was bigger. Wanted more between Thomas & Andrea!!

creeps into the vast, empty island that is the Apostle fandom: hi :D

You have been visited by the Dogface of Happiness. Reblog and you will receive his blessing of happiness.

Don’t reblog and you will still receive his blessing of happiness. He just wants to you be happy, no matter what you do.

I just really love them

Like father like son

𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃 — 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠

“home is whenever I'm with you”

• • •

TAGLIST: @katerinarevel @connieturnpenny @thewordsinthesky-andstars @idreamonpaper @storyteller-kaelo @virginiawritesforlovers @hyba @lil-writing-demon @alternativeforensicscientist @the-real-rg @re-writing-h @fernyquotes @theevolutionofledarose @atelierwriting @bitterbodies @letswritefuriously @ofinkblotsandscript @amongwriters @carmina-solis @musicofglassandwords @gardamn

ADAM DRIVER as RANDY THE INTERN on SNL | 25 January 2020

Idk if I’m taking it the wrong way but it bugs me how in the Prequels, Anakin’s love for his mother Shmi and his wife Padme are framed as his weakness and that his emotions are what drove him to the Dark Side when it was all just natural. They took little Anakin away from his mom and then shamed him for missing her and told him to “man up”, when he was concerned for her the Jedi told him to stop caring but he didn’t and he was right: his mom had been in danger. But his tears when she died are not him being sad that she died, but that he is “falling to the Dark Side”. As if grieving wasn’t appropriate and instead a sign of evilness.

And when pregnant Padme was dying in his dreams, Anakin wasn’t taken seriously by Yoda and told to just stop caring because “death is natural”. And what did we get? Padme did die in the end. There is a reason that he was trying to keep his love to her a secret and eventually turned to Palpatine: Because no one listened to him when he was expressing concern and emotions for his family members. Palpatine seemed to be the only one to care about his feelings and the only one to give him actual advice, but Anakin his still framed as the bad guy for listening to his feelings, especially his feelings towards women, as they are essentially “corrupting his pure mind and true self”. And I don’t care that this was some kind of shitty, self-fulfilling prophecy.

Luke is told similar stuff in the Originals: that he should shut off his emotions because they are “leading him to the Dark Side” or that he should “stop loving Leia” because the other (bad) men could see this as a weakness. Yet Yoda and the other Jedi are still framed as wise and right, while Anakin and Luke are supposed to come off as bratty and impulsive. Not to mention that fear alone doesn’t lead to hatred because experiencing fear is very much needed in a human’s life to prevent them from dangers. Especially fearing for your loved ones is not, as the Jedi put it, something bad that will turn you evil.

But still, it is shown that Luke being concerned and having intense emotions is what makes him fail his training and therefore something he should stop, to be “better”. But in the end, Luke successfully brings Vader back to the Light because he was thinking of him as a father in an emotional way and this is how he managed to reach out to that last spark of Anakin that was left in Vader.

Both Anakin and Luke are actually at their best when they are trying to save their friends and family, they are determined and compassionate, not evil, because they are right.

In the Sequels though, Ben Solo aka Kylo Ren is actually framed as good for staying to his true self and emotions in the end and his love for his parents and Rey is not something that corrupts him, but what brings him back to the Light in the end. (In addition, I wanted to mention that I firmly believe that Kylo Ren is a character who is coded as mentally ill). The good relationships with women in his life is what fuels his good side, not the other way around, like in the Prequels. Same with Luke at the end TLJ on Crait, where he is fueled by giving his sister hope.

 Especially in TFA, Kylo is constantly seen trying to put on an emotionless face and to deny his true feelings (”[Han] means nothing to me.”), which result in fits of rage because it is actually damaging him to mask his true self. We have seen Kylo/Ben at the end of TROS: the tantrum-throwing bad guy isn’t who he really is. He isn’t taken seriously by someone either, until Rey comes by and offers him support, what gives him hope and a reason to change. And regarding Kylo being a “crybaby who should man-up” - this is a dangerous thing to say as well. Kylo isn’t actually crying in the moments when he’s evil, but in the moments where he is allowing himself to feel his real emotions.

Take a look at the confrontation between him and Han in TFA for example: When Han approaches Kylo on the bridge, he is trying to talk him out of thinking that the “mighty Kylo Ren” whom Snoke apparantly values and teaches so well, is an illusion and that he didn’t destroy his son. Kylo still tries to be in his role until his true self breaks out: he starts crying and admits his true feelings (”I’m being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain!”). And we see that he actually is torn apart and thinking of going back to the Light side. But when he decides not to and commit the horrible act of killing his father instead, he stops crying and puts on an emotionless face,shutting off his true feelings once again, right in the moment where his father forgivingly strokes his cheek one last time.

And what happens? Kylo trying to cut off the bond with his father and telling himself to not feel a thing about the murder only results in backfiring, causing even more pain and confusion for Kylo and throwing him into an even bigger identity crisis. And he realizes that he cannot kill his mother and feels ashamed for what he has done to her life in TROS, believing that she will hate him, even if he comes back. He knew how bad his crimes were in the end.

But when he is vulnerable to Rey, actually crying out of compassion for her, he has a goal in life again: killing Snoke and starting a new order with Rey by his side. Not quite what is needed, but it is the next step in being himself again and valuing his actual wants again. No matter how much I hated how they trated the character in TROS, I will always cherish those 3 minutes of Ben Solo we got at the end.

At the end, Kylo/Ben was cherished for his true emotions and giving in to them, to his love and concern and having compassion and not to suppress his feelings because he was told that this was right. He wasn’t weak for crying, he was weak for thinking he shouldn’t.

Because this is actually a beautiful message that boys should keep in mind.

Telling boys and young men to be emotionless, to be careful with bonding with other people and staying to their true emotions on the other hand, is not a good message.

Also, for more information on this topic, watch “The Case Against The Jedi Order” by Pop Culture Detective on YouTube.

Thanks for coming to my pep talk

Hello! I’ve just recently gotten into ASOUE, and I was wondering if I could get a clear answer from you. Sorry if you’ve answered this before. So there’s 100% without a doubt fact that Olaf finds Violet sexually attractive? A lot of people seem to have differing opinions. I ask because the only thing I have to go off on right now is Olaf’s comments about Violet being ‘pretty,’ and his constant staring at her. Thank you for taking the time to read what I had to say. Take care of yourself!

First of all, welcome to the family! Hopefully you’re loving the books/show as much as they deserve to be loved :)

Now, pardon my essay but I’m gonna try to summarize everything into an overly long answer at the best of my abilities, but it’s not gonna be easy.

—-

It is very true - and very obvious - that Olaf finds Violet attractive.

More than that, as you said, he is SEXUALLY attracted to her, and to the idea of her ( I’ll elaborate on that later ).

I’ll divide it in actions he performs, just to make it easier to read for the both of us. I will also note when there are differences between book Olaf and show Olaf, even if those are few.

1.STARING.

Ever since the door swings open, show Olaf stares at Violet when he talks. About anything. You can see it during their house tour, and then later, when Klaus asks how can they purchase anything without money and he blatantly ignores him and throws the little bag of money at Violet, who is carrying a baby and isn’t in the condition of catching it. You can see it after “It’s The Count” is performed, and during dinner.

Speaking of their house tour, notice this : when he shows them the kitchen, he straight up glares in her direction while he says “I expect you to keep everything gleamingly clean”. That’s just one of the many ways he expresses how ( low ) he thinks of her. As a servant, and nothing more.

After they discover that Sunny’s locked in a cage, Olaf goes on a tangent about the metaphor of a stubborn mule : the mule will walk closer to the carrot because it’s food, and further from the stick because it doesn’t want to feel pain. This is obviously referring to Violet, and stubborn is one word he always describes her with ( Notice : In the Reptile Room, when he “greets” the children again ).Now, look at his eyes when he says that the mule will move towards the carrot because “it wants the reward of food” 

straight to Violet. That’s pretty telling of what she is, in his mind. Food. Figuratively, of course.

Now, take a look at how he stares at her during these three events.

First, after he tried to convince her to marry him, he stares creepily at her lips and kind of checks her out.

Second, after she speaks to Justice Strauss, he almost looks disgusted by her audacity to talk back.

Finally, after he thinks she’s now his property, he keeps looking at her intensely and with a snigger plastered on his face, and he doesn’t even bat eyes.

These all show different emotions he feels towards her, and how they connect to one root point : he does not care for her consent, for her will, for her pleasure. He only wants to marvel AT her, to think he owns her, eitheras a daughter or as a wife ( interchangeable for him, I might add ) :

 “You may not be my wife, but you are still my daughter, and…” ( The Bad Beginning ). I’ll go back on this quote later.

As you noticed, too, he looks at her often. Pretty much in every episode. I don’t need to go down too much on this, it is quite obvious.

INVASION OF PERSONAL SPACE

This is where Olaf shines, with everyone but especially with Violet.The way he headbutts into her conversations during the books and the way he touches, strokes, gets too close to her is continuous. And she tries to scatter away every time.

During the dinner, when the bald man turns around, looks at her and exclaims “You’re a pretty little one”, Olaf butts into the conversation like a hurricane and scolds her. He acts very smugly and weirdly possessive towards her in the entirety of the series, but it’s particularly noticeable in the first book/first two episodes.

When he tries to convince Justice Strauss to join The Marvelous Marriage play, he keeps poking Violet, patting her hair and her face, under her breast and, when Klaus stands up and says “Justice Strauss, he’s up to something”, hegrabs her by the waist and pulls her closer to him. Creepy.

Then there’s the iconic “I’ll touch whatever I want” with the hand on the shoulder. He also speaks directly to Klaus, in that instance, almost as if he was daring him, as to say “I’ll snatch your fortune and your sister away from you”.I feel like he feels an inferiority complex towards Klaus but that’s a whole other matter that I won’t dive into.

In the Reptile Room, The Hostile Hospital, The Ersatz Elevator, The Carnivorous Carnival and The Grim Grotto, he leans down to her close enough that she can smell his breath, and says something equally creepy.

Of course, we can only see four of those on screen - for now - and The Hostile Hospital one is shocking. If you’ve seen it, you know he practically kisses her.

In The Hostile Hospital, he’s the one who catches her when they kidnap her, he’s the one to change her into her medical gown ( according to Violet in The Carnivorous Carnival book ) and Violet retrieves her own ribbon out of hispants pockets, in the same book.

In the Bad Beginning, in the books, he touches Violet’s face inappropriately when asking her to star in his play. Actually, when forcing her to star in his play.“Count Olaf reached out one of his spidery hands and stroked Violet on the chin, looking deep in her eyes. ‘You will’ he said ‘participate in this theatrical performance.”.

In The Reptile Room, he makes a non subtle threat and caresses her legs with his knife - the most common phallic metaphor there is.In The Hostile Hospital part 2, after calling her Sleeping Beauty ( which gets raped by the Prince in the original tale ), he slowly caresses her forehead and throat.

He’s way too damn close.

CREEPY WORDS.

You may think all these are nonsense, all small things that really don’t matter but put them together with his words and you’ll find yourself shuddering.

In The Bad Beginning, his whole plot consists of him conconcting a plan to steal their inheritance by marrying his 14 year old adoptive daughter, daughter who he keeps referring to as very pretty, both in the cupcake scene andto Klaus “Why in the world would I want to actually marry your sister?’ Count Olaf asked. 'It is true she is very pretty, but a man like myself can acquire any number of beautiful women.” or, when describing the play, “It is about a manwho is very brave and intelligent, played by me. In the finale, he marries the young, beautiful woman he loved[…]”.

There are a bajillion phrases he speaks out, such as “Build the sets? Oh, Heavens no. A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be working backstage” or “You’re such a lovely girl, after the marriage I wouldn’t dispose of you like your brotherand sister”, sentence I have explained in one of my previous asks.

As I said earlier, there’s the ”I’ll touch whatever I want" which heavily implies rape to anyone old enough to understand.There is “You may not be my wife but you are still my daughter, and…” which describes his idea of in loco parentis and his ownership of her, and the fact that he will be free of punishment from the law by doing anything he wantsto her, whether she’s under his control as a child or as a wife.

There is the book-only “Now, if all of you will excuse me, my bride and I need to go home for our wedding night.” which is the equivalent of I’ll touch whatever I want. He’s going home and he’s taking her virginity.

In The Reptile Room, in the show, he grabs her and tells her “I have four tickets with me to Peru. I was going to take you and your siblings because that’s the kind of guardian I am, but I’ll settle for one of you.”. At the end of the episode, his room had only one bed. Pretty self explanatory.

In the Carnivorous Carnival, when the children are hidden in the trunk of his car, he tells his henchpeople that he hopes Violet survived the fire at Heimlich Hospital because “She’s the prettiest”.

In The Grim Grotto, when she tries to stall and wants to tell him where the sugar bowl is, he sneers and says “I’m not going to bargain with an orphan, no matter how pretty she may be.”. Realizing he loses control and gets overpowered by his attraction to her, he attacks her.

Generally, he often addresses her first - or only - in any conversation, and wants to come closer to her more than her siblings.For example, in The Penultimate Peril, when Dewey takes her hand. he orders him to “hand her over” twice. Not her siblings.In The Slippery Slope, he screams “You are dead, you died in the caravan!” only to her.In The Austere Academy, when Nero asks him if the orphans have good enough legs for him, he points at her first.

And so on and on.I could go on forever but this response is already a book.

In regards to what I said about the idea of her turning him on, he never really makes and attempt at doing anything to her ( that is debatable though as I firmly believe he raped her in the Hostile Hospital book, andI have my own thought about it but it is indeed a theory ). He clearly wants to but giving in to his sexual desire towards his enemy would only shift the power between them, and she’s already stronger than him by being unattainable andrejecting him, thing his narcissistic side doesn’t digest at all. He resentes it so much, and you can see the hatred and lust he feels 100% of the time.

This is canonical, there are a thousand posts and excerpts from essays you can find online and I’m so damn tired of people sweeping it under the rug or deeming us creeps because we acknowledge it. Come ON.

Also, if you need a visual representation of Neil’s body language and hard work in showing this, you can watch a video I made a while ago that sums it up. You can turn off the music if it’s too cheesy, but I think it’s a good exampleof how a great actor can make you feel disgusted by small gestures.

And thank you so much for reading this papyrus! Take care yourself!

tay nobody, a real victim of the whole JB saga. pls hear her own words to defend herself, here’s everything she has to say, to the Reylos family & her friends. To Lucasfilm, pl read her last words. pls give her more loves.

(cr above, all from tay nobody’s twitter account. pls show her some loves, and spread the words among our Reylo family for her, pray for her.)

https://twitter.com/usethehorserey/status/1216527622974459910

have you read the new interview rian did for playboy? the journalist talks about how his films don't have that many sex scenes and finds that unusual or whatever. "He [Rian] laughs at this and counters, “ 'Unless you count Rey and Kylo touching hands.' If you haven’t seen The Last Jedi, spoiler alert: That’s the closest it gets to a sex scene." asdfgh (side note but i didn't even know that 'playboy journalism' is a thing lol)

omg I can’t believe this interview came out like six weeks ago and NOBODY TALKED ABOUT IT

Apostle (2018)

Dan Stevens as Thomas Richardson in Apostle

Ben Solo & Mental Health in Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Hello. Hi. This meta has been a long time coming. Before I get started though, a disclaimer is in order. I am a therapist with two graduate degrees, a graduate certificate in trauma & disaster/conflict mental health, & professional/academic training in psychology. I currently provide crisis therapy to kids & teenagers who are suicidal and/or have been abused. I have conducted extensive graduate research on torture sequelae and torture trauma in refugees and prisoners of war, under the tutelage of the academic, who, following being a POW during the Vietnam war, began mental health research & subsequently coined the term “post-traumatic stress disorder” to describe the cluster of symptoms previously referred to as “shell shock.” I have several years of experience working with various types of trauma and vulnerable populations: refugees, “at-risk” youth of color, special-needs children, the homeless, domestic violence survivors, child abuse survivors, disaster survivors, and children/teens in acute mental health crisis (such as active suicidal ideation/attempts). This analysis is based on my own knowledge, research experience, guidance from my mentors, training, insights, observations, and experience as a mental health practitioner. Please keep this in mind before this analysis is turned into a harassment campaign. And please be respectful of other bloggers as you share and discuss this meta. I did this meta as an effort to spread light, understanding, and compassion towards the beleaguered, not to be used as a weapon against struggling souls. If you engage in this harmful behavior on this post or regarding this post, you will be blocked. I implore you to please use this discussion as an opportunity to have constructive, kind, and inclusive conversations instead. 

Thank you.  With love and light,  V 

(for you, London nonnie….and in honor of the countless struggling fans who love/identify with Ben Solo’s character, the women who have been harassed for loving/empathizing with the character, & all of those who feel hopeless in light of this character’s outcome & treatment, including many of my own patients) 

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: Call 1-800-273-8255 Crisis Text Line: Text TALK to 741741 Should you have any thoughts of harming yourself, please go to your local ER. You are seen, heard, loved, and not alone

Warning: Extremely long post ahead. 

—————————————————

Neglect & Attachment Disruption

Attachment theory is a developmental psychology theory that focuses on early childhood development, and how it has lifelong effects. As soon an infant is born, the process of forming a post-natal attachment with the caregiver begins. Most often, this primary attachment figure is the mother. The dyadic relationship between the mother and the child has been intuitively understood throughout history as the fundamental relationship that forms the foundation of a human’s development through the life-cycle, even before we had the terminology to describe this knowledge. When the mother is experiencing post-partum depression, in particular, the forming of a secure attachment is in danger. 

During the attachment phase (from birth to 2 years of age), the child begins determining whether the caregiver is reliable and responsive. This reliability is reinforced every time the caregiver responds to the child’s needs & cries. Every time the caregiver provides comfort and safety to the child. Every time the caregiver is emotionally responsive to the child and interacts with the child. Every time the caregiver provides proximity and presence to the child.

The attachment with the primary caregiver is how a child learns to process/interact with the world. It affects the child’s emotional regulation, health, behaviour, performance, and relationships with others moving forward. 

From canon materials, we know that Ben Solo struggled with sleep issues since birth. It is implied that these sleep issues were due to the dark influence that had been affecting Ben since he was in Leia’s womb. According to the Last Shot, Han was occasionally able to respond to Ben’s cries and help him sleep, but Han was frequently away, smuggling throughout the galaxy. Leia was also fairly absent in Ben’s formative years due to forming a new republic, which caused Ben to not form an attachment with his primary caregiver. Ben was raised primarily by nurse droids who cannot provide the attachment, comfort, and emotional responsiveness of human caregivers. The presence of his parents in his life was erratic & unreliable.

So what sorts of attachment styles form in children? There are four attachment styles (Secure, Anxious-Ambivalent, Anxious-Avoidant, & Disoriented-Disorganized) but for the purpose of this discussion, I will only expound on secure attachment & disoriented attachment. 

Secure attachment: This is the ideal attachment. This attachment is formed when the parent is present, consistent, nurturing, comforting, and responsive to the child’s needs. Children with secure attachment will display behaviors such as wanting to be near the parent & feeling anxious when the parent is away or are separated from parent. These children will be apprehensive of strangers and trust only their attachment figures. Due to this secure attachment, these children are less vulnerable to being preyed upon. 

Disoriented-Disorganized attachment (Ben Solo’s attachment style): This attachment style frequently occurs in children whose parents have unresolved trauma. Such parents react to situations of stress and to their children with fear or other primal emotions that arise in stressful situations. Such parents can become abusive and/or neglectful/avoidant due to their own unprocessed trauma. Children with this attachment style grow up displaying trouble forming a coherent identity or narrative about themselves. They don’t learn healthy ways to self-soothe. They have trouble trusting others. They are less liked than their secure-attachment peers, resulting in them being treated as outcasts, which further solidifies the lack of healthy attachment to others. 

Leia never formed healthy attachments as a child (she was also raised by droids), which is a developmental trauma, and also faced the trauma of her home/family being destroyed by the Death Star. Additionally, Leia struggled to process the new knowledge that Darth Vader was her biological father. In result, Leia became ambivalent, avoidant, and fearful of Ben, whose force sensitivity and erratic behaviors due to being influenced by a dark presence reminded Leia of her own traumas. Reminded her of her biological father who destroyed her family and caused immense destruction in the entire galaxy. Consequently, she became afraid of Ben and avoided caring for him by focusing on her political career. 

Han also did not form a secure attachment with caregivers. He spent much of his childhood in survival mode and fleeing/avoiding situations & even places. Han had also never formed any secure attachments to others in adulthood. His only attachment in adolescence/adulthood (Qi’ra) was separated from him and betrayed him. Consequently, commitment & stability are sources of stress and discomfort to Han. Additionally, Han had also spent his adulthood living in the Millennium Falcon, not being responsible for anyone but himself. As a result, although Han loved his son and tried his best to be there for him, his own unresolved trauma frequently caused him to flee and leave Ben behind. 

So. Ben has formed disorganized attachment to others. He grew up feeling as if he were unwanted/feared by his parents, particularly his mother (his primary caregiver). He grew up being emotionally neglected by his parents. He grew up interacting with droids and not receiving healthy social interaction from peers. Due to this deficit, and being abused/influenced by Snoke, Ben began exhibiting increasingly volatile/erratic behaviors, which made Leia even more fearful. To top this off, at 10 years old, he was taken from the only home he had with mostly-absent parents and placed in what was essentially a boarding school for his troubled-behaviors. Even children with absent parents form some level of attachment to their parents. They look up to them and want validation from them. Therefore, when he was sent to train with Luke, Ben experienced an attachment/separation trauma by being severed from the only caregivers he had ever known (we see this in children whose parents divorce as well). This would have likely aggravated his “problem-behaviors,” resulting in him immediately being ostracized from his peers. Furthermore, as the nephew of Luke Skywalker and the son of Han and Leia, he would have also experienced jealousy & resentment by his peers, which is alluded to in the Rise of Kylo Ren Comic. 

Around the time of Luke pulling that saber on Ben while he was sleeping, according to the novel Bloodline, the news that Leia was the daughter of Darth Vader had spread across the galaxy. Until this point, Ben had not been privy to this information. Not from his parents, from Luke, or family friends. Individuals with disoriented attachment struggle with trusting others, and this event exacerbated Ben’s sense of betrayal and trust issues with his parents and his uncle. Finding out that your family had hidden such a monumental piece of information about your family background….at the age of 23…can be very traumatic to an individual, particularly to an individual with disorganized attachment. It affirms your every worst thought about yourself and how others feel about you. Ben Solo would have thought at this point that his family viewed him as Vader 2.0 and hated him for it, even though the darkness in him was not him but was Snoke/Palpatine. 

This thought was solidified the moment he woke up to Luke hovering over him with an ignited lightsaber. The way Ben’s memory of this scene is depicted in TLJ highlights Luke’s murderous expression, and how Ben saw him as getting ready to attack him is very revealing of Ben’s mental state at that time. His fear has clouded that memory. This memory was probably the most traumatic moment of his life. He has a distorted memory of it and is remembering it through the lens of trauma memory. It is important to note that Rian specified that Ben was the only person who didn’t lie about what happened that night. This was actually how he was remembering it. This is why he reacts so irrationally when he sees Luke on crait…he is brought back to the feelings he experienced when Luke first tried to kill him. He reverts to the emotional memory of that trauma and experiences what is referred to as an “emotional flashback.” 

We see in the Rise of Kylo Ren comic that Ben was not responsible for blowing up the jedi temple. He watches it from the distance and is distraught and tries to go in there. Although we do not know for certain who was responsible for the destruction of the temple, one can deduce that it was likely Snoke/Palpatine. We can infer that several students were in the temple when it was blown up. His other classmates, however, immediately turn on him, and refuse to listen to him when he tries to explain that Luke had tried to kill him and that he is not responsible for the destruction of the temple. The students refuse to relent and force his hand to a duel with them. Ben, who feels that he cannot turn to his uncle, cannot turn to his peers, cannot turn to his family friends, and cannot turn to his parents, decides to turn to Snoke, who is the only safe haven he has left. While his peers begin a manhunt for him. 

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD): Some children with disorganized attachment develop RAD. Some symptoms of this disorder include withdrawal & irritability/volatility, failure to smile, not engaging in social interaction, rejecting efforts of others to be comforted and soothed, etc. We see young Ben exhibit many of these symptoms, and through my own clinical judgment, I believe that he is characterized as a child who is suffering from RAD. Although we see Ben expressing vulnerability with Rey in his adulthood, he regresses to this childhood persona as soon as she rejects him on the supremacy. He becomes very volatile and descends to Crait to externalize this rejection, to essentially show to her (falsely) that he rejects her in return. But this is of course folly. Because Han has activated Ben’s healing journey with his sacrifice, Ben cannot regress completely to his prior mental states as a child. When the bond reopens, we see him longing for the connection he shared with Rey. We see him WANTING that for himself rather than impulsively rejecting it. 

Abuse & Trauma Mental Health 

Unfortunately Ben not only experienced emotional neglect by his caregivers, but also lifelong emotional and physical abuse by his mentor. While childhood neglect leads to unhealthy attachment and attachment disorders, if the neglect is also amplified by abuse, the child will also develop trauma-related disorders, that if untreated, will persist into adulthood and require lifelong management & treatment. 

Complex trauma: Our understanding of post-traumatic stress disorder is still fairly nascent and limited. Many people still only understand this disorder through the context of the mental health struggles of war veterans. And the PTSD diagnostic criteria in the DSM, without any further sub-classifications of the disorder, reflects this lack of nuance and understanding. Post-traumatic symptoms caused by developmental trauma and other prolonged traumas are very difficult to treat. Additionally, there is no good medication available for trauma-related disorders, and psychopharmacology is woefully behind in this aspect. Most people who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder are just prescribed SSRIs and/or NDRI’s to simply manage the depression & anxiety symptoms that arise. 

The traditional PTSD is typically caused by a single traumatic event. For a veteran, this may have been something like experiencing or watching a comrade being blown to bits in a mortar explosion. For an unsuspecting passenger, this may mean being involved in a traumatic motor-vehicle accident. For survivors of Katrina, this may mean watching their family home and dead neighbors floating in the water. For survivors of 9/11, this may have been in the form of a collective trauma such as being in the vicinity that day or seeing victims jump to their death from the towers, 

Complex trauma and its dynamics are a bit different. Complex trauma requires prolonged exposure to a trauma or to multiple traumas, a sense of being trapped in the traumatic environment, & a lack of hope for escape or relief. This sense of powerlessness to prevent the trauma from recurring is essential to experiencing this particularly nasty form of trauma. Some situations/experiences that would lead to complex trauma include: prolonged child abuse (sexual, physical, emotional), ongoing domestic violence, being in a concentration camp, incarceration in the prison system (particularly if falsely accused), being institutionalized for mental health struggles, experiencing genocide and/or ongoing war or conflict, experiencing recurrent neighborhood violence, experiencing sex trafficking/labor trafficking, being a prisoner of war, being tortured, etc. Complex trauma can lead to several symptoms that are not seen in traditional PTSD (and can be much more difficult to treat). Some of these symptoms include: dissociative symptoms, lack of impulse control, trouble with boundaries, difficulty regulating attention, difficulty regulating emotions or identifying emotional states, poor affect regulation, fragmented identity/sense of self, sensory-motor dysfunction, somatization of symptoms, alterations in systems of meaning, and severe cognitive distortions, etc.  This cluster of symptoms is referred by mental health practitioners as Complex-Trauma Disorder (CTD), Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), or Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD). These sub-diagnoses are not currently included in the DSM V, and many psychologists are presently advocating for these distinctions to be made in the next edition of the DSM. 

Ben has experienced psychological/emotional abuse at the hands of Snoke/Palpatine since he was in the womb. We see in TROS that Palpatine has continued this mental/emotional assault even after Snoke was killed. Ben has had lifelong nightmares and sleep issues due to this perpetual and persistent dark influence in his mind. A child’s mind is particularly vulnerable to being distorted & destroyed by emotional abuse as they lack the same mental faculties/development that the adults have in order to process such assaults and not internalize them. Even adults struggle considerably with such abuse, but children are particularly vulnerable. Additionally, such abuse, because a child’s mind is still developing, can permanently alter that individual’s mental health & neurobiology. Researchers have compiled a list of experiences that are classified as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE), which contribute to detrimental outcomes throughout the individual’s lifespan. The higher your ACE score, the more severe the outcomes, including and potentially..early death. 

Ben, as a child, was permanently affected by this abuse at the hands of Snoke/Palpatine. As an adult, once he joins Snoke, we see this emotional abuse amplifying and being augmented with physical abuse & torture. We see throughout the sequel trilogy and in the supplemental materials that, as an adult and as a child, Ben has many of the aforementioned symptoms of complex trauma. Therefore, it is my clinical judgment that he is also suffering from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). 

Although every person experiences dissociation from time to time (daydreaming, doing tasks automatically, zoning out in conversations, etc), to develop pathological dissociation, complex trauma is an essential factor. Four classifications of dissociative disorders currently exist: Dissociative Amnesia, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder (DPDR), & Dissociative Fugue. For the purpose of this meta, as it is about Ben Solo, I will only be expounding on DID. 

Dissociative Identity Disorder: Cinema has historically depicted this Dissociative Disorder (previously known as multiple-personality disorder) in very erroneous and harmful ways (ex: Split, Fight Club…). Many have also confused this disorder with Schizophrenia (a psychotic disorder) in the past, which is in a completely different class of mental health disorders with a different cluster of symptoms. Dissociative Disorders markedly do not include hallucinations and reality testing is intact. And like most individuals who struggle from Schizophrenia, most who struggle with dissociative disorders are completely harmless.

DID is characterized by a minimum of two distinct personalty states. A pre-requisite to developing this disorder is prolonged trauma in early childhood. Children, particularly very young children, lack the mental faculties and the coping skills necessary to process such significant trauma; therefore, in order to protect their psyche, their ego is “split” into alter or fractured identity states. The fundamental ego state is referred to as the host and the fractured personality states are referred to as “alters.” The alter(s) hold and absorb the trauma so that the host personality may remain unharmed/untouched. And the alters “take over” the psyche intermittently when triggered and/or when protection is deemed necessary by the individual’s mind. Sometimes, the alter even takes on the personality/age/other characteristics of the abuser. Based on my understanding of his characterization, I feel that Ben Solo also suffers from DID. 

“My boy. I have been every voice, you have ever heard, inside your head.” -Palpatine in Ben Solo’s mind 

The voices that Ben Solo hears throughout his life are coded as psychologically/emotionally abusive intrusive thoughts (enacted on his psyche by an abuser) and not as the auditory and/or command hallucinations experienced by individuals with psychotic disorders. As these thoughts/voices have been relentless since before his nascence, Ben Solo’s young psyche would have fractured into at least one alter in order to protect himself. This alter is Kylo Ren, which is the personality of his abuser…Snoke/Palpatine. This alter takes over whenever his psyche determines that the host, Ben Solo, is in need of protection. The alter absorbs all of the mental anguish and abuse so that Ben Solo may remain intact and unharmed. The mask motif of Kylo ren as well as the “fractured” symbolism reflects this fractured/protective persona. The viewer does get to see Ben Solo (the host) on a handful of occasions, and only when he feels safe. All of these instances involve Han and Rey, the only two individuals to have ever understood him or offered him comfort. 

The Jungian concept of the shadow (or Anima/Animus) is also incorporated into this alter-state depiction of his character, and Ben Solo must integrate his shadow, Kylo Ren, in order to achieve balance and harmony. 

The most recent and well-developed depiction of “The Shadow” can be seen in Arronofsky’s Black Swan. The movie, in some subtle but unmistakable hints/scenes, implies that the ballerina Nina Sayers has been sexually and emotionally abused by her narcissistic mother since her childhood. In order to protect herself from this substantial developmental trauma, Nina fractures her psyche into two distinct personalities: the host/white swan, who remains a pre-pubescent child, and the alter/black swan, who takes on the darker & older shadow personality of her abuser (her mother). Due to the added stress of her new role, this split takes on some depersonalization symptoms where she sees her alter outside of herself (in her own image) as well as in Lily (the real-world personification of her alter/shadow). Nina also suffers from OCD, which, in conjunction with the dissociative states and the added pressure from her role and continuing abuse (both sexual & emotional) from mother as well as now her teacher….leads Nina to a psychotic break, causing some really graphic and frightening visual/auditory hallucinations. 

Now, it is important to note that this movie does also take some artistic license with mental health (Dissociative Disorders and Psychotic Disorders don’t exist together) for the sake of storytelling, but the DID and depersonalization pieces are depicted quite accurately and artistically in Black Swan

Nina is a cautionary tale….she does not integrate her shadow. For the sake of artistic perfection, she instead chooses to battle with it violently and uses it to deliver a “perfect” Odile/Odette performance, ultimately causing a metaphorical “psychological death” by fracturing her psyche beyond the point of repair. But to her, it was worth it because she “was perfect.” 

Ben’s integration happens half-way through TROS (which happens, in my opinion, far too late in the movie for coherent storytelling, but we all already know how I feel about this movie) when his fracture (symbolized by the scar), is “healed” by Rey, both literally and figuratively. Ben confronts his alter/shadow by having a conversation with the memory of his dad, relieving his alter/shadow of the burden of holding his trauma and integrating the shadow into the host Ben Solo. 

In reality, this integration is nowhere near this brief or painless (typically requires years and years of trauma therapy). But again, this is a movie (and a really shitty one at that). 

Here’s my brief explanation of why what DLF did to Ben Solo’s character is so harmful for mental health depiction/stigma and how it was directly harmful for those who identified with his character…

Ben Solo, after integrating his shadow, basically committed suicide on screen. It being a sacrifice does not mean it wasn’t a suicide. He made the choice to end his life in a “noble” way, which is a really morally absolute and unhealthy way to atone for our past mistakes/transgressions. It is a reflection of how punitive and morally absolute American society is (our mass incarceration and the death penalty are a testament to this). Not only did DLF send the message to mentally ill individuals with similar backgrounds (particularly children) that they are not deserving of being rehabilitated, but also sent the message that they may achieve redemption and a semblance of peace only in their death. Those who are struggling with mental health issues, particularly children, are extremely vulnerable to being influenced by messages in cinema. I myself have had several patients who have indicated to me that they want to die, but in a noble way that would make their death “mean” something. Particularly to people/children already in mental health crisis, who expected a Star Wars movie (as SW movies have historically done), to leave them with a sense of hope, instead received such a hopeless and unforgiving message. I can say from personal experience as a child therapist that this movie has negatively affected the mental health of children(particularly young boys) who love Star Wars and identified with Ben Solo. Ben Solo isn’t the “ideal” trauma survivor (like Rey), and that doesn’t mean that he is unworthy of life & rehabilitation. This isn’t just about a character’s death. This is about something much deeper, much bigger, and downright fundamental to humanity…something direly needed today in the present socio-political landscape……COMPASSION. 

Only the Sith deal in absolutes. 

#EndTheStigma 

–————————————————

tagging some mutuals & fellow psychology/neuroscience/mental health/social work professionals: @pinkhairjustdontcare​ @hazel2468​ @fkef​ @nerfherderbinniegirl​ 

Adam Driver in Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi (2017)

Love will find a way

Blame this guy named tony for this ok😭

Blame this guy named tony for this ok😭

Why Rey feels so off during the first part of the movie

I want to touch upon something that has been bugging me ever since I saw the movie. Beware, I’m not inventing the wheel here, and I’m also terribly sleep-deprived. I’m just expressing some thoughts that I wanted to share.

So, did you notice that basically all the Reylo scenes up until the one where Rey stabs Kylo and then heals him feel… off? Especially the way Rey acts? 

Were you as detached and alienated from her like I was, going so far as to ask yourself who this character even was?

Well, I gave this some thought.

I think that with the partial retconning of TLJ and the subsequent regression in the story, they shafted Rey in all kinds of ways, but especially when it comes to our ability to understand her actions and emphasise with her, most notably in the scenes when she is angry and/or fighting Kylo (ergo: in conflict).

Rey is a very passionate character, quick to anger. One article about her that I read (I’ll provide the link when I find it) described her as “deliciously feral”, which I think sums it up perfectly. Rey is somewhat unhinged, she reacts quickly and often in a heated fashion.

The thing is: whenever we see Rey being hostile and/or fighting in TFA and TLJ, we are provided a reason why. We get a narrative justification for her anger/violence/attacks, and it always comes from a place of compassion, a sense of justice or a place of pain/hurt relating to her past.

She attacks Kylo in TFA because he killed Han. She snarks at him in TLJ for that very same reason, and later on, after having changed her mind about him, she attacks Luke because he tried to kill him. (And then she just ships herself to him in the mail - an icon. We stan.)

But the bottom line here is:

We always get to see why Rey is angry, and what drives her to violence. We get a justification within the narrative. Her actions make sense.

But in TROS, this does no longer apply. Especially when it comes to Kylo. Because story-wise, we are beyond the fighting. Beyond the dueling. We are at the ‘reaching out, trying to find a balance and solving our conflict with words’ stage.

But since they basically ignore this whole narrative from TLJ, their dynamic is reverted to their TFA animosity. At least up until the scene where Rey heals Ben (after almost killing him, mind you!!), when it’s just randomly picked up again as if the first hour of the movie didn’t happen.

This is why Rey feels so off when she is interacting with Kylo in those scenes up until the stabbing. There is no reason provided by the narrative as to why she is so hostile to him. We expect her to act differently because we all saw TLJ. Sure, there is gonna be conflict, but not this lightsaber fight nonsense.

Their conflict at that point is not physical, it is emotional, and it should’ve been tackled as such in dialogue.

But since it wasn’t, and they just had Rey lash out at Kylo as if this was the ending of TFA, her hostility and aggressiveness come off as… well, just that. Hostility and aggressiveness. 

There is no reason, no explanation, no plausible rationalisation, and subsequently no possibility for us to relate to or understand Rey.

I don’t know why they did this.

Maybe they wanted to convey the idea that this was her ~palpatine darkness~ manifesting and making her lash out. (As if her real darkness, the one we see in TFA and TLJ, i. e. her pain and anger that stem from her abandonment issues, her loneliness, her struggle with her own identity, were not enough.)

Or they just wanted to retcon TLJ and they needed more lightsaber fights. I don’t know. Either reason works and both are terrible.

reblog this to have a Happy Wildcat New Year™

Well, you know what, while we’re waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh?

You deserve to love and be loved. You deserve happiness & all the beautiful things in the world.

From the bottom of my heart i hope 2020 is a better mental health year for everyone.

Sigh. We will never see the likes of five-Adam-Driver-films-and-a-Broadway-play 2019 again? Let us take a moment to appreciate that we were alive in this halcyon year. Yes, everything else on planet earth turned to shit but we had lorge tol boy Adam Driver to gently guide us through the hellscape, every step of the way. Whether he was tango-dancing, Sondheim-singing, tiny-robe-wearing, paper-shuffling, lightsaber-grabbing or killing zombies with a machete, Driver was HERE FOR US this year. He will surely take the whole of 2020 off for a nice lie-down and it is well-deserved.

full article at: JumpCut’s Person of the Year 2019

Oh Adam

Please do me a favor and reblog if you LIKED The Last Jedi

I need fans wanting to celebrate Star Wars on my dash.

my only star wars commentary is that i want adam driver to know he’s doing a good job. you’re a very good tall goth space man adam you’re doing great