“if You Take Medication For That, You’ll Be Taking Medication All Your Life!!” Yeah, And?? Bud,

Some thoughts on Bad Batch Season 3

SPOILERS

First off I want to say this is going to be a very unpopular opinion and if you liked the szn this probably isnt the post for u, but I feel I have to speak my mind.

Overall after watching season 3 I honestly feel let down and unsatisfied with the events and especially the ending.

1. Techs death is probably the biggest thing that frustrated me because when you kill a character off you should either have your other characters morn and grieve them and learn to accept the loss or bring them back.

However they didn't either of those, instead they pretty much forget he existed they barely reference him and only say his name like twice, it would be fine to show characters in denial about someone's death but it's more like the show is in denial. This is why many bad batch fans were expecting tech to come back, if you don't morn a characters death than the story arch feels incomplete a ppl will wait for it to "end".

Not to mention techs story didn't seem over he left on weird unfinished terms with Phee and it seemed like they would touch on it again but nope.

Also they introduced CX-2 and made it seem like he might be tech, such as having the same build and teasing the identity like it's important and like it will mean something and then at the end for CX-2 and all these super soldiers to mean absolutely nothing.

2. So many unfinished questions, I can't believe this is the end of bad batch and apparently the last clone show. Especially when we still don't know where tf Cody is and all we're told is that he's gone AWOL (mentioned like it will mean something in the future) and then we never see or hear anything about him again.

Then there's Wolffe obviously we know he's in Rebels but what happens between then and now?

Then there's Echo same as Wolffe what happens to him as we never see him fighting alongside rex in Rebels.

Then ventress she was introduced back and then she leaves and we never see or hear about her ever again, she didn't rlly add much they revived and went "look ventress is back" for one episode and then that's it she's no longer important all she did was say "yup omega has a high M count" and then left.

3. Omega and the other force sensitive children could have patched up the plot hole of "somehow palatine is back" by saying using omegas clone DNA that can sustain high levels of a M count and a force sensitive child they were able to figure out how to clone palatine or smth but no it all meant nothing and we never rlly knew what the tests where for even when they had a golden opportunity to reveal it when Rampart forces Nala se to tell him everything abt the experiments

Honestly season 1&2 were great and so I went into season 3 expecting the same amount of quality but I didn't get that. They usually tie everything together and I never felt unsatisfied or confused in szn 1&2 but I did in szn 3. I kept waiting for things to start to tie together especially when the had so many moment where it seemed like the scenes where there just to make things make sense but no they were all there for nothing.

I walked away from szn 3 thinking it must have been rushed or gotten a new writers team bc wtf was any of this, it was so out of character for the writers to make such bad decisions.

I understand if other people like the ending bc we don't usually get somewhat happy endings but this was more like a half-assed happy ending to me, I would have preferred a well written devastating bad ending but this is what we got instead and I am so disappointed. All I could think of szn 3 was about how angry, let down and confused I was and that it was a lame and made me feel meh.

Enneagram system

A rewrite/more in depth post of the Enneagram system compared to my last post on it. Not an expert. May change later.

If you like kpop and typology, check out my blog. I do type analysis on idols and typology notes.

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What is Enneagram?

I mainly took notes from Riso Hudson theory.

A typology system that categorizes personalities into 9 different types. Each type is numbered from 1 - 9.

Each type has a desire and fear that motivates their actions in life.

Core and Wings

Core: Our main type. It is the foundation of our personality and does not change.

Wing: Acts as a complement to our core. Wing can be one of the two types that sit beside core type. E.g a core 2 can have a 1 wing (2w1) or 3 wing (2w3). But is not necessary to use since wings can change and/or can be balanced.

Levels of Development

Summary of healthy - unhealthy levels of personality

- Healthy levels -

Level 1: Liberation

Let go of self image so we are free to express ourselves however we want. Self acceptance of all traits.

Level 2: Pyschological Capacity

Begin to identify with positive qualities in our personalities and learn to improve ourselves with them.

Level 3: Social Value

Still strongly identify with our set self image and make effort to maintain image. Want to share our good talents and abilities to make a positive effect on self and others.

- Average levels -

Level 4: Imbalance/Social roles

Idealization of self image; have a major focus on either good or bad qualities, no in between. Fear is an obstacle here.

Level 5: Interpersonal Control

Insist on self image being accepted by others, which can cause conflict. Can lead to controlling and manipulation.

Level 6: Overcompensation

Overcompensate due to underlying negative feelings. Desperate for others' acceptance.

- Unhealthy levels -

Level 7: Violation

Desperation for acceptance leads to violation of one's self and others. Serious conflict can occur. May victimize themselves to excuse offensive actions.

Level 8: Obsession and Compulsion

May be overly obsessed with an image of who they want to be. Deceives others

Level 9: Pathological Destructiveness

Most unhealthy state, display very toxic traits and behaviours, may have mental breakdown

Disintegration vs Integration

Or basically Stress vs Growth

Disintegration: When under heavy amounts of stress, a type will go into their disintegration type. They will pick up the negative traits of that type and act like the unhealthy version of it.

Integration: When maturing/developing positively, a type will go their integration type. They will pick up the positive traits of that type and improve their character.

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* I will only give short descriptions for the triads. I will explain more in depth in individual posts.*

Centers of Intelligence

There are 3 centers of intelligence. Each center shows how and why we solve issues in life.

Gut/Instinct/Anger (types 1, 8, 9)

Gut center focuses on reacting and taking action immediately. This triad has an issue with control and anger.

1: Often perfectionists who repress their anger in order to remain morally good. They see their anger in a negative light.

8: The most open and comfortable with their anger. Uses it to assert boundaries, especially since this type fears vulnerability.

9: Often a passive type that dismisses or downplays their anger. They fear conflict and may worry being more assertive will cause a negative effect on themselves and others.

Heart/Image/Shame (types 2, 3, 4)

Heart center focuses on self identity and connections. This triad wants love and recognition and do what they believe is best to get that. They struggle with self worth.

2: They want to be needed and helpful to others. Pride themselves on being of service. Wants to receive love and to give love.

3: The most image oriented type. They always try to show their best selves and best efforts in order to seem admirable. Fears being worthless.

4: Wants to create a unique image for themselves, believes being boring will make them unloveable.

Head/Thinking/Fear (types 5, 6, 7)

Head center focuses on ideas, making rational decisions, and gathering info. This triad deals with fear and uncertainty.

5: The most internalized head type. 5's want to gather as much knowledge and resources as possible in order to stay secure and independent.

6: Quite an anxious type who seeks security through relations with others.

7: This type fears pain and suffering and seek out experiences in order to avoid negativity.

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Other triads

- Harmonic Triads -

How types handle conflict, coping mechanism

Reactive (4, 6, 8)

Reactive types are not afraid to show and speak about their true feelings. They may seem "dramatic" in a way.

4: Melodramatic and self absorbed in negative feelings, drowns in intensity

6: Will argue, stick up for the right thing, moody, anxious

8: Big and loud reactions, can be very fiery

Positive (2, 7, 9)

Positive types dislike negativity and conflict and have their own ways of avoiding such tension. Optimistic during hard times.

2: Actively tries to be a good and kind person, only tries to focus on the good aspects of people

7: Seeks out fun opportunities to make their life exciting (basically distraction)

9: Values harmony and peace, will not risk any type of action that will disturb these values

Competency (1, 3, 5)

Competent types are often perfectionists who want to show their best selves. Objective and rational.

1: Strives to be correct and right, wants to be precise in what they do

3: Represses softer emotions to keep up a certain image, thrives with work/passions so they can be the best at what they do

5: Detached from feelings to remain logical and objective, knowledge seeking

- Hornevian Triads -

Relationships with others, how they get what they want

Assertive (3, 7, 8)

Assertive types go against people to get what they want. Do not back down easily, can seem aggressive and forceful.

3: Pushes through obstacles for achievements, goal oriented

7: Asserts their right to have fun, refuse to be restricted

8: Asserts power and strength, places boundaries

Withdrawn (4, 5, 9)

Withdrawn types are very internalized and do not show their needs openly. Deals with things alone.

4: Feels something is wrong with them internally, feels misunderstood

5: Detached from others as to not drain their own energy, will figure it out themselves

9: Introspective, lets life happen

Compliant (1, 2, 6)

Compliant work with people to get what they want. Builds relationships for security, wants to be helpful to others.

1: Doing the right thing instead of one's own wants

2: Focus on other's needs more instead of self

6: Tries to build a safe and secure environment by getting ppl to work together

- Object Relations -

How we are affected by others, our own affect on others, how we react to personal wounds

Attachment (3, 6, 9)

Seek out bonds and companionships for particular reasons. Individuality vs adaptation.

3: Changes their image to suit whoever they are with in order to meet expectations

6: Creates support systems to help with their self doubt and indecisiveness

9: Adapts to the energy of the environment to keep harmony

Frustration (1, 4, 7)

Triad gets frustrated when their needs aren't met.

1: Has a need to improve every little imperfection they find

4: Dislikes shallowness, longs for depth and complexity

7: Not enjoying experiences, not feeling fulfilled

Rejection (2, 5, 8)

Their own needs feel unimportant to others, so they reject their own needs as well.

2: Rejects the need to receive love and guidance, instead focuses on connecting with others and helping them.

5: Ignores and minimizes all their needs, offers knowledge and expertise in some hope of being acknowledged for their intelligence.

8: Rejects by being never putting their guard down, wanting to appear strong and as the protector of others.

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Subtypes

Claudio Naranjo theory

There are three subtypes/instinctual variants that show our drive in life. There are 27 different subtypes in total.

Self Preservation (Sp)

Focuses on physical safety and security. Our physical health, financial security, obligations, and comforts.

Sexual/One - on - one (Sx)

Wants intensity and deep connections, one on one relationships are preferred.

Social (So)

Prefers to be in a community, wants to create good connections and bonds with others. Socially aware, focus on group goals and contributions.

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Tritype

Katherine Fauvre theory

A minor but still interesting piece of Enneagram. Tritype is formed of your 3 dominant types from each center. The first number will always be your core, followed by your other 2 dominant types.

E.g 369. 3 = core, heart. 6 = head. 9 = gut.

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Enneagram notes

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Side blog:

Kpop astrology @rainy-astrology

Kpop fanarts @rainy-artworks

BASICS OF ENNEAGRAM TRIADS

There are three triads in the enneagram: heart, head, and gut. All consist of three enneagrams, which represent the core's fixation.

Heart triad consists of enneagrams 2, 3, and 4, and the fixation of this triad is shame. 2 externalizes shame, 3 represses shame, and 4 internalizes it.

People belonging to heart triad deal with self-hatred and try to gain love and approval from others.

Head triad consists of enneagrams 5, 6, and 7, and the fixation of this triad is fear. 5 internalizes fear, 6 externalizes fear, and 7 represses it.

People belonging to head triad deal with paranoia, anxiety, and suspicion of the world.

Gut triad consists of enneagrams 8, 9, and 1, and the fixation of this triad is anger. 8 externalizes fear, 9 represses fear, and 1 internalizes it.

People belonging to gut triad deal with anger in different ways, but they all view the world as a dangerous, flawed place.

What is dysautonomia

Definition:

Dysautonomia refers to a disorder of autonomic nervous system (ANS) function that generally involves failure of the sympathetic or parasympathetic components of the ANS, but dysautonomia involving excessive or overactive ANS actions also can occur.

Some symptoms include:

Abnormally fast or slow heart rate

Anxiety

Excessive sweating or not being able to sweat

Fatigue

Feeling short of breath (especially when you exercise)

Feeling thirsty all the time

Having trouble swallowing

Headaches

Insomnia

Nausea and diarrhea

Vision problems (blurred vision, vision loss, tunnel vision)

AND A LOT MORE

Dysautonomia affects:

Blood pressure.

Breathing.

Digestion.

Heart rate.

Kidney function.

Pupil dilation and constriction in the eyes.

Sexual function.

Body and skin temperature control

Examples of diseases in which secondary dysautonomia can occur include:

Diabetes.

Parkinson’s disease.

Muscular sclerosis.

Rheumatoid arthritis.

Lupus.

Sjogren's syndrome.

Sarcoidosis.

Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis.

Celiac disease.

Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease.

Chiari malformation.

Amyloidosis.

Guillain-Barre syndrome.

Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.

Lambert-Eaton syndrome.

Vitamin B and E deficiencies

Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV).

Lyme disease.

Different types:

Neurocardiogenic syncope (NCS): NCS is the most common form of dysautonomia. It can cause fainting spells that happen once or twice in your lifetime or multiple times every day. NCS is also called situational syncope or vasovagal syncope.

Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS): A disorder that causes problems with circulation (blood flow), POTS can cause your heart to beat too fast when you stand up. It can lead to fainting, chest pain and shortness of breath.

Familial dysautonomia (FD): People inherit this type of dysautonomia from their genetic relatives. It can cause decreased pain sensitivity, lack of eye tears and trouble regulating body temperature. FD is more likely to affect Jewish people (Ashkenazi Jewish heritage) of Eastern European heritage.

Multiple system atrophy (MSA): A life-threatening form of dysautonomia, multiple system atrophy develops in people over 40 years old. It can lead to heart rate issues, low blood pressure, erectile dysfunction and loss of bladder control.

Pure autonomic failure: People with this form of dysautonomia experience a fall in blood pressure upon standing and have symptoms including dizziness, fainting, visual problems, chest pain and tiredness. Symptoms are sometimes relieved by lying down or sitting.

I took a test online once

To see if I was the Soldier

The Poet

Or the King

It told me I was the King

I always thought I’d be the poet

I think all kings long to be poets

In the same way that all eldest daughters long to just be children

Why bury your pain for the sake of others when you can turn it into art

Why raise children you didn’t make

But just like the test said

“The sword is at your side”

“It bore your name long before you did”

I never asked it to bear my name

I want to be free of it

But we all want what we are not meant to be

“You are tired of being steady. You dream of feeling alive. Not that you aren't, but, sometimes, it's hard to remember that there is a heart between your ribs.” -@atlanticsea

hi i was wondering if you had any skincare product reccomendations, i've never done skincare before and i don't really know where to start. i know i have sensitive and relatively dry skin.

i have a suncream that has spf 50+ which i think is good but do i need a specific one for my face? i apologise for all the questions but any advice would be amazing!

thank you!

💛

Hi darling!

Skincare is a tricky thing, because everybody's skin is different and as such has different needs. What works for one person may not work for another.

Firstly, you should start with my top skincare tips post so you understand the basics, function of ingredients, and which products are essential or not. You can also check out my skincare tag if you're interested in additional reading.

That being said, here are the basics from my routine and what currently works for me:

Morning routine:

Vitamin C serum: La Roche Posay - Vit C10 This helps brighten complexion, softens skin and helps to fade any blemishes, scars, etc. Pro tip: keep your Vit C serum in the fridge, Vit C tends to oxidize and turn orange with time, even if i doesn't affect its efficiency.

Sunscreen: La Roche Posay - Anthelios for Face SPF50 This is what I've been using for 2 years now, it's popular for good reason. Although I will say they recently changed the formula from completely dry to a little oily, and I prefer the former.

Night routine:

Cleanser: CeraVe - SA Smoothing Cleanser This is a chemical exfoliant (with Salicylic Acid) which is great for acne or break-out prone skin, to be used 2-3 times a week. For daily use I recommend CeraVe's classic cleanser, the Hydrating Cleanser.

Moisturizer: Bioderma - Hydrabio Riche Gentle, moisturizing, rich but not greasy. I always go back to this. (It's for dry skin, but if other readers have oily skin, try the Hydrabio Legere version instead.)

Skin-barrier repair (optional): La Roche Posay - Cicaplast Baume B5 This is a holy grail if you have damaged skin from using too many products, exfoliants, sunburn, etc. It's very gentle and soothing, and really does improve skin overnight. You can use it for face, body, even lips, but for that I prefer the product below.

Skin-barrier repair for lips (optional): La Roche Posay - Cicaplast Baume for Lips This is my go-to for intense hydration and repair (ie. chapped lips, wore drying lipstick all day, etc). Leave it on overnight and you'll wake up with smooth, plush lips ready for the day.

Retinol: The Ordinary - Retinol 0.2% in Squalane, CeraVe - Resurfacing Retinol Serum, La Roche Posay - Effaclar Adapalene 0.1% Topical Retinoid Retinol essentially regenerates your skin, helps with fine lines, wrinkles, scarring, etc. I'm still looking for the best retinol product, but I would recommend either of the above, all of which are direct recommendations I've found by dermatologists via Youtube or IG.

Conclusions

The only essentials you need are: cleanser, sunscreen, moisturizer. Everything else helps, but isn't necessary.

If you choose to add new products to your skincare routine, always add 1 at a time. That way you'll know which one is or isn't working for you.

Create the skincare routine that works for you. Don't go running after trends and trying out a hundred different things. Only test 1 product at a time, and when something works for you, keep it in your routine.

If you can afford it, reach out to a dermatologist to recommend products that are tailored to your needs. Most of the products listed were recommended by my dermatologist for mine.

If that's not an option currently, start following board-certified dermatologists on social media instead of taking advice from random people online as fact. You'll learn so much from their tips, plus it's free! I like watching Dr. Dre and Shereene Idriss, they are both entertaining and educational.

Hope this proves helpful, and let me know how your routine comes together. 💜

-Lumen

Skincare tips: Retinol

If unsure, start with the most gentle sort of retinol (retinol esther, or the 2nd most gentle, pure retinol - read how it works here).

Consistency over intensity. It's better to use a gentle product consistently over weeks, months, years, than it is to use an aggressive/strong product over a brief period.

Less is more.

You can use retinol regardless of your skin color, just start slow and on the low, gentle end of retinols.

What it does: thickens the skin, encourages cell turnover / skin regeneration. Smooths wrinkles and fine lines over long-term consistent use.

How much to apply: a pea-size amount is sufficient for the entire face.

When to apply: in the evening, after doing your skincare routine, on a clean & dry face. Avoid applying in the morning, as retinol makes your skin sensitive to sun damage, and retinol itself also breaks down under the sun, making it less efficient in the mornings.

How often: 2-3 times a week (ie. Monday - Wednesday - Saturday). Keep up this routine to see if your skin tolerates it well, if it does (and this may take even a year to adjust) you can increase the frequency to every night.

What season to use: you can use retinol all-year round, just make sure you are protecting your skin with sunscreen, as it makes your skin photo sensitive.

When using retinol, be careful with these areas (as in the skin there is more sensitive, so apply less product + more gentle retinol): around the mouth, neck, chest.

The only time you need to use retinols specially made for the eye area, is if you have very sensitive skin and standard retinols irritate the delicate skin around your eyes.

Be careful with using any acids* in your routine. Do not use them at the same time (ie. same evening). Alternate the days for each: if you apply retinol one evening, use acids the next evening only.

If you have underlying skin conditions (eczema, rosacea, etc), check with your dermatologist first before testing out retinol.

Retinol is not recommended to be used during pregnancy.

Don't exfoliate on the same nights you use retinol (ie. salicylic acid or other acids*), as it's too aggressive on the skin.

For most retinol products, it is best to apply moisturizer before, to use as a buffer, and then apply the retinol. This includes the chest & neck areas.

(Source: dermatologist S. Idriss)

Sometimes people will decide who you are.

It won't be based on truth. It'll be based on their perception of you.

No matter what you tell them, or how you explain the reasoning behind your actions, they have made up their minds.

Everything good that happens will because of your efforts, will be seen as things that happened despite of you.

People who defend you or stick up for you will be seen as having "a temporary lack of judgement".

For people with ADHD, this will happen more.

They'll call it lazy and unwilling.

Explanations will be called excuses.

They'll repeat the same advice. "Ask for help", even when you tell them you struggle with that.

They'll see your response caused by previous trauma as stubbornness. They'll think you think you know better, they'll think you ignore advice because you forgot.

Your efforts will not be seen.

They'll misinterpret your character.

And you'll be powerless.

I know all of you have experienced this. I know you read this and you can tell me exactly who it was and in what context. A teacher, an employer, a parent (although I really hope it wasn't a parent), maybe a former "friends", or a distant relative.

We all have that same story.

But we are not that person they think we are.

We are valid and true.

They can not decide our character.

They do not have the right. They do not deserve us. They're not worthy of your time, your efforts, your loyalty.

Hold on to that person that had your back.

They are worth it.

Violet is teeny and frail the way that so many ya female protaginists are. But the difference is that the story recognizes her weaknesses and addresses them. Everyone can see she is breakable but what makes her scary is that she's fully willing to break herself to get what she wants. She isn't just anger in a cute tiny package she is rage shoved into a glass bottle with a crack running up the side. She doesn't just fight through pain, she functions in pain constantly. She's brutal and resilient and so willing to throw herself on a knife just to give others a better chance at survival.

My take on the MBTI from the perspective of an ENTJ

1. ENTP: Smart, fun people; easy to get along with.

2. INTP: I want a piece of your mind.

3. INTJ: Cool and mysterious, but the males are annoying

4. ENTJ: Hyperfocused on success to the point that it's unhealthy

5. ENFJ: The chronic need to be the center of attention is excusable because y'all have a good heart

6. ENFP: Y'all put too much effort into acting like you don't care if you're liked by everyone for being "quirky", but you do.

7. INFP: Pathetic; really need to stop letting people walk all over themselves

8. INFJ: Sage wisdom, kind heart

9. ISFJ: Lowkey boring ngl

10. ISFP: You make sure to stand out in your own ways

11. ESFP: Annoying, self-indulgent, the lack of awareness is ghastly. Often wonder what it is like to be in your head because you seem to have no self-critique whatsoever.

12. ESFJ: Kind-hearted, too kind in fact, because nobody thinks of you when the day ends.

13. ESTJ: Y'all are just annoying

14. ESTP: Charming, very, very charming.

15. ISTP: Coolest people I know

16. ISTJ: Boring; more like tiring