A Perfect Gentleman (Jasper Hale X Reader)

My therapist: just because you made a plan doesn’t mean you’ll always follow it perfectly, and that’s okay. It’s better to follow a plan cursorily than not at all.

Me, sobbing: THAT WAS AN OPTION???

The Osiris Club

Summary: You’re the top dancer at the best strip joint Jersey has to offer— The Osiris Club. Sure, it’s grimy as hell, but it’s worth it whenever your favorite client comes in for a good time. 

Word Count: 5.5K 

Warning: Lemon, purely smutographical content, stripping, bumpin’ and grindin’, face sitting, tail fucking, rough sex, a little fluff at the end for good measure. 

A/N: IT’S DONE! Finally! I’m so fucking happy I was able to finish this fic, and just in time for the dvd release! I really hope you guys like it and that I did HB justice. Feedback is gold so don’t forget to drop me a line and reblog, bb’s!

* fanart commissioned by @dixxiemaegraphics​ *

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I’m just posting this to save it don’t judge

Imagine working in a brothel and Geralt being your first customer (smut)

(Long smut ahead! Had some fun writing for Geralt! Hope it isn’t too much of a mess! Hope it is as requested and you all like it :3 Gif not mine/credit to the original owners.)

You hadn’t wanted this job nor were you in any way interested in it but the people that found you and was supposed to be your “family” decided otherwise. Without caring for your fate, they sold you the instant they had known you were a virgin. Being given such a high price for you, they took their coins and left you at the brothel.

You were now left on your own, and found yourself trying to go through day to day your new way of life. To your luck, you had always managed to evade any men that made you uncomfortable despite the efforts of the owners to try and sell you, you worked hard to make those men like to leave you alone.

It was beginning to be silly to the other girls and even a bet amongst the men to see who could finally have you and actually seduce you to let yourself be touched. You were adamant about not wanting to bed anyone and were quite vocal about it and to your surprise the owners were beginning to soften towards you.

They let you work around as a waitress in the meanwhile, still trying to offer you up for a high price and convince you to at least give a try at some of the clients, insisting you’ll get a higher pay. You still refused and had gotten away with all of it and were quite proud of your reputation, and the power you had over the owners.

However, that all came to a stop the day, the man or rather the Witcher they called “The White Wolf”, put a the biggest bag of gold you had ever seen on the table and demanded for you for the next nights he was staying for.

~~

Geralt had heard a lot from you from his travel companion Jaskier, often being told tales about how you were giving most men who visited you trouble, and managing to still get their money for yourself at the same time.

He was told you were quite a beauty to the eyes and how many had tried to persuade you yet no one could ever seem to make you budge or even want to be with them for one more second. It all fuelled his curiosity and even made him want to give a try and prove to everyone else he could do such a thing, surely soon enough, he did what he had to cross paths with you, walking right into your workplace.

From the instant his eyes met yours, he had a feeling you were the one. Your eyes went wide to meet his bronze gaze, your cheeks turning beet red to look up at his sheer size and your sudden nervousness as you’d serve him was enough to make him understand you were the virgin, Jaskier and everyone else around spoke of.

It didn’t take long for him to ask for your name and shyly you responded, a mere meek “Y/N” you answered to him while he barely had time to introduce himself as his companion did so for him with a big grin, impatient to see how it would all go down.

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being adopted by thorin and bilbo

ft. my lame attempts at humor

in this house we stan bagginshield

TW: joking about death, brief mention of the ‘Birds and the Bees talk’

(modern girl in middle earth)

((target audience: teen reader))

tagging people who i think might be interested in reading: @trxblemaker @artsywaterlily @elles-writing @emilys-books

thorin and bilbo had started courting a little after rivendell

partly thanks to your nagging and suggestive comments

they had already “parented” you on the quest

thorin being overly protective

making sure you are trained sufficiently in weapons

instructing other company members to watch you during fights if he is unable to

thorin doesn’t trust men so you best believe when you are in Laketown you don’t leave his sight

braiding your hair

tickling you when you’re grumpy or pouty so he can see that “adorable smile of yours”

draping his heavy fur coat over your shoulders when it gets chilly

his hugs are the best

you feel so safe and warm and loved

you love to bury your face in his fur coat and breathe in his scent of smoke and pine trees

and then there is bilbo during the quest

he definitely mothers you

pushing you behind him during a fight, covering you with his shaking arm

he makes you eat your vegetables and go to bed early

lending a listening ear and some good advice when things get rough

wiping food off your face that you didn’t notice with his handkerchief

cue: “BILBO STOPPPP”

sewing you clothes

bilbo is incredibly scandalized by the suggestive jokes you make involving him and thorin

(before rivendell) “now listen here young lady: i am not interested in thorin. i most certainly am not.”

to which you respond “mhm. sure.”

he then sputters indignantly and marches off

that one time you accidentally called thorin dad

the entire camp froze

your face turned beet red and thorin’s eyes looked ready to pop out of his head

you attempt to defuse the tension by saying “ummm,, haha gotcha!”

this gets a few awkward laughs and eventually it is forgotten

but not by thorin

he was actually touched and vows from this moment on to protect you and love you as best he can

or you, though no one brings it up

bilbo seeing you running around camp and hurriedly following after you

calling after you, “HEY, hey!! no running with swords young lady!”

they do not understand your gen z humor

thorin made you promise not to joke about wanting to die

because it is, in his words, “concerning and upsetting”

at BOTFA, bilbo tells you not to fight

because he couldn’t stand to see you hurt

of course, you didn’t listen

YES EVERYONE LIVES

when things have calmed down and everyone eventually gets settled into erebor

and after thorin and bilbo have been married yes you were the flower girl

they approach you one afternoon, both obviously anxious

they talk about how they have always wanted children

and thorin says he would be honored to be blessed with a daughter

they offer to adopt you if you want

and of course you accept

because these dwarves are your family

it is a beautiful ceremony

there isn’t a dry eye in the house

though dwalin will deny that until his dying day

it is almost like a wedding of sorts

a coming together, a creation of family

but you were always family, now it’s just official

fíli and kíli were always like older brothers to you

they give you piggy back rides down the halls of erebor

falling asleep curled up in fíli’s lap while he works on prince paperwork

you and kíli get together once a week to gossip

kíli calls it “tea time”

you regret teaching him modern slang

you call dís auntie, and sometimes namadaz’adad, which is khuzdul for aunt

oh she loves you so so so much

thorin giving you so many khuzdul nicknames

to name a few:

nathith (daughter)

nathithuth zé (my first daughter)

ghivashith (treasure that is young)

you know how gloin is? constantly bragging about his wife

yeah that’s how thorin and bilbo are with you

over enthusiastically yelling “THAT’S MY DAUGHTER!!!!!”

thorin and bilbo trying to give you The Talk

it is mortifying

it went something like this:

“well you see, it’s like the hammer and the anvil, one on top, one on the-“ “NO STOP THORIN PLEASE I BEG OF YOU”

thorin: “bilbo, i suppose dís would be more suited for this job”

bilbo: “dwalin can do it for all i care- as long as it isn’t us!”

you can’t look them in the eyes for a few days after that

oh they are so over-protective

dating? it’s... difficult to say the least

bilbo instructs nori to spy on the person you are interested in

thorin has many intimidating talks with them

dwalin makes sure to sharpen his axe in front of them

fili and kili make “subtle” threats

you are exasperated by all of this

but it’s okay

because they only want the very best for you

trying to cook birthday breakfast for bilbo with the help of fíli and kíli

but somehow the pancakes end up stuck to the ceiling

hey, it’s the thought that counts

having any mental health problems?

or maybe you’re just feeling down

you have a whole family of people ready to help you

and you are so very loved

✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷

small little bonus story

throwback to that one time bilbo was captured by trolls

and thorin instructed you to stay at camp while they went to get him

but you didn’t listen

surprise surprise

you wanted to prove yourself

plus you’ve never seen trolls before and well...

curiously killed the cat

except you didn’t die

though thorin’s yelling after the whole thing made you wish you had

after gandalf saved everyone, thorin immediately marched over to you while everyone else was exploring the troll cave

“I TOLD YOU TO STAY BEHIND AT CAMP!! ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS?!! YOU COULD HAVE DIED!!” he roared

bilbo came up to him and tried to defend you, saying that yelling won’t help anything

to which you exhaled a sigh of relief- ‘thank god bilbo’s on my side to save me from thorin’s wrath’

turns out no

bilbo then rounded on you

he grabbed you bY THE EAR and dragged you back to camp

all the while scolding you for your recklessness

at camp, he sat you down on a rock and stood above you

shaking his finger and lecturing you on the importance of safety

there were lots of “do you understand?!”s

yes mom

while thorin stood SMUGLY behind him, silent with his arms crossed over his chest

nodding along and giving you the Dad Stare ™

thorin later came and apologized for yelling

and said it was only because he cares about you and couldn’t stand to lose you

YES YOU GUYS HUG

and maybe you cry a little bit

it’s nice to feel cared for

and boy are you cared for

Done something no one asked for, just have to get this idea out of my head~ It’s not a clean work but hey, it’s something!

When I first heard the song, I can’t help but have to do this  (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ 

Enjoy?

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This. Is. EVERYTHING.

This video was made by Voordeel, you can find this video on his youtube channel : https://youtu.be/DEBjh_MTNzQ

EDIT: Stop saying that I stole the video, I never said that this video was mine or that I had done it, and friendly reminder that the name Voordeel is on the end of the video so shut the fuck up dumbass

Hello

Wattpad : @Shadowy_Heart Instagram : @Shadowyheart89

—𝓸𝓬𝓬𝓾𝓹𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷: 𝓫𝓻𝓪𝓽 ;

_____ is the newest – and youngest – addition to the Avengers team. Rich, important parents, incredibly smart. Trained in gymnastics, martial arts, acrobatics and more. Got a face that she knows will get her anything she wants; the long lashes, the doe eyes and lips that she just has to pout to get her way. She’s a brat – and everyone knows that Steve thinks so because he’s constantly reprimanding her as if she’s the toddler she throws tantrums like.

ONGOING

♕ = smut 

part 1: brat

part 2: and again

part 3: hot girl summer ♕ 

part 4: dreams do come true (in new orleans)

part 5: a degree of fancy

part 6: thicker than water

part 7: silver lining

DRABBLES

lesson 1 ♕

pass the salt

eat the rich ♕

midnight snack ♕

bubblegum b**** ♕

sober thoughts

the witching hour ♕

the boss

the relapse

the stealth suit 

sex pollen ♕

reverse sex pollen ♕

period pains

honorary stark

“Would you go back?”

an attempt was made

one of his french girls

“let’s get married.”

the one about the piercing

the one about the dollar-bill knife

the dress

joining forces with scott lang

pre-serum steve

“please talk to me.”

meet the exes

pushing your luck

accidental mind-reading

the one where steve shaves his beard

recklessness

not taking no for an answer

midnight ride

spotify playlist

headcanons/ asks/ photosets/ miscellaneous

please don’t unfollow me for reblogging so many destiel posts i cannot articulate enough how this is the funniest thing that has ever happened

webbed up | peter parker

summary: you’re being a little too bratty for peter’s liking, so he takes a leaf out of spider-man’s book and punishes you the first way that comes to mind.

warnings: smut; swearing, teasing, dirty talk, dom!peter, spitting, use of web-shooters, overstimulation, multiple orgasms.

word count: 5,468

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