It's Incomprehensible How Much Of My Brainpower Is Spent CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT SUCKING DICK

I found rusty paperclip on the college campus yesterday. I picked it up because it reminded me of myself.

i fucking love this

Iso-puppy

I misread that as "getting wrapped around a tree at 100" mph somehow and all i can think is about drifting a dodge viper in the rain.

As soon as my body starts to malfunction or fail me/become weak/fragile I'm rerolling

Samus Aran (Metroid Series)

why the fuck does my mother move so much of my stuff it's always "I WOULD MOVE THAT SO YOU DONT LOSE IT" and then she moves it and i can't fucking FIND IT where the FUCK is my PEN FOR My TABLET

My guilty pleasure right now is watching luxury hotel reviews and I found this british guy who keeps accidentally clipping into the backrooms.

He's unintentionally making the best liminal horror content on youtube

this is an unacceptable proposition and i will steal your kidneys

please god help me i got toothpaste in my hair and it's not coming out

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

the sudden urge to put on mouse ears and a maid outfit so you can go around making mouse based puns while cleaning the house

"Mouse-keeping!" "Cheesed to meet you! Have I seen you before?" "This one's on the mouse!" "I'll leave it squeaky clean!" "Mice to see you!"

I'll be adding more as I think of them, I'm hoping to create an encyclopedia of mouse puns.

You know that state of mind where you can't sit still, nothing is at ease, and you feel like you need to your skin off? I recently gained the ability to enter that state at will.

HOW DO UNDO?