Candy Cigarettes That Actually Taste Like Cigarettes

How the fuck do I slow my feed down without unfollowing people?

every time i click away the feed has another dozen entries

two words: watermelon pie

it contains the quantum essence of children's mathematical metaphors you can order as many as you need AND slice it twice without making more than 2 cuts (slice the melon, slice the pie, twice sliced and twice as shy)

Please god help me I've had spazzmatica polka stuck in my head for almost 48 hours and the only thing that keeps it out is more polka

I misread that as "getting wrapped around a tree at 100" mph somehow and all i can think is about drifting a dodge viper in the rain.

As soon as my body starts to malfunction or fail me/become weak/fragile I'm rerolling

Is there like a cure for constantly being horny?

It's been -78 days since the last day i didn't randomly think about gay sex and that's only if you count the day i realized i didn't think about gay sex which is still technically thinking about gay sex. If you don't I have no clue what it's like to not have your thoughts filled with AGGRESSIVE GAYNESS.

pretty sure water is gay. straight people can't swim they have to walk along the bottom of the ocean in a void.

Imagine going to take a shower and the water just dodges you, and not being able to tell whether you are hydrophobic or if the water has become homophobic.

What are some genderfluid alternatives to ranch?

Is there like a cure for constantly being horny?

It's been -78 days since the last day i didn't randomly think about gay sex and that's only if you count the day i realized i didn't think about gay sex which is still technically thinking about gay sex. If you don't I have no clue what it's like to not have your thoughts filled with AGGRESSIVE GAYNESS.

Declare a thumb war then in the middle of teh thumbwar pull them in and KISS THEM

#would

Guardian PC