Two Words: Watermelon Pie

I really wish I wasn't living through a major historical event right now.

Journalists interrupt and berate Blinken on Gaza policy.

Several journalists who are outspoken critics of US support for Israel loudly lambasted US Secretary of State Antony Blinken over the war on Gaza on Thursday, repeatedly interrupting his final press conference as he sought to defend his handling of the 15-month-old war.

“Criminal! Why aren’t you in The Hague,” shouted Sam Husseini, an independent journalist and longtime critic of Washington’s approach to the world, before being physically dragged outside of the briefing room.

“Why did you keep the bombs flowing when we had a deal in May?” Max Blumenthal, editor of the Grayzone, an outlet that strongly criticizes many aspects of US foreign policy, called out to Blinken before being escorted out.

(source)

It only took me 4 months to do step 1.

Allow me to ruin this by telling you hawk tua is a girl from a 10 year old vine who got famous by making a joke about how to properly give head hence the name "hawk tua". I'm returning the dissatisfaction i got from being told i live under a rock then memesplained to only to find out that that the meme is in fact almost a decade old and completely unfunny, you're welcome.

the joy I get by not understanding new popular stuff is one of my favorite feelings. I'm so happy I will never understand who hawk tua is, and I'm really happy with that outcome.

What the fuck this is fire

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

If I am elected president I promise to kill the president.

everywhere i go everyone compliments me on the particle cannons i attached to my body. they say things like "those look effective against armored targets, and also very precise" and then i blush cutely and obliterate a scrap car

You ever feel like you've been in the backrooms before? Like going about your day then suddenly you feel like nothing is real even though you know it is? Do you ever think maybe the reason so many of these places feel familiar to the point you know you've been there before is because you've been in the backrooms this entire time, or maybe the dreams you have of locations you've never been to are just memories of roaming a hollowed out version of reality somewhen in your life?

I have this feeling every time i look at this(and some other) images. I feel like I know what the kitchen looks like because I've been there in a dream when i was younger.

Conlang whose pronouns are made by shooting guns

Direct/Indirect reference is controlled by shooting at a target either directly or indirectly Direct Reference: I : Pistol You: Rifle We: Landmine Royal we: Claymore Ya'll/They: Shotgun. For larger groups, grapeshot cannons or howitzers are acceptable alternatives Indirect Reference: I: Though it makes no sense to refer to yourself indirectly, you may do so by firing into the air and running to the location the round will land. You: Rifle/Bow aimed to arc onto the target. (Bows are typically used in more formal settings) We: Grenade(thrown directly up; a held grenade is still direct reference) Royal We: Grenade(Thrown away from yourself) All of You/They: Artillery The degree of politeness is determined by hitting different locations. Highest/Formal: Head. General/Acquaintances: Torso Casual/Familial or Close Friends: Limbs. Missing is considered derogatory.

Though there is more to the language, the sentence structure is SOV, with the addressee spoken first. No one has actually gotten more than 2 words into the language until the advent of Kevlar.

I assure you every part of my body is a masochist but my brain knows vaping is cringe

pretty sure water is gay. straight people can't swim they have to walk along the bottom of the ocean in a void.

Imagine going to take a shower and the water just dodges you, and not being able to tell whether you are hydrophobic or if the water has become homophobic.