"I Support Mental Health"

"I support mental health"

People with less controllable, highly visible mental illnesses that are notoriously demonized in media like cluster B disorders: Oh thank you, that means a lot to us

"Ew no not you though, you can't just blame your outbursts on your mental health disorder, you're a horrible person"

CW: BPD Feels and mental health stuff under the cut

Either you support mental health or you don't. Don't pick and choose because someone has a disorder that is defined by its difficulty in controlling emotional outbursts and difficulty relating to other people. When someone tells you they have one of these disorders, they're not "manipulating" or "gaslighting" you. They are trying to explain that they have a disorder that is specifically making it difficult to contain their emotions.

"But your illness isn't an excuse..."

No. Stop. Just fucking stop with that line of thinking. You think I don't know that? You think that I don't try my damnedest every fucking day to contain my fits of rage and random bouts of crying? It's called a DISORDER for a reason. It's tiring. It's difficult. It's full of people you care about make comments like "it's like walking on eggshells around you" like no shit dude that is literally why I have this diagnosis.

I have lost so many friendships, had people I cared about called me an asshole, and had people outright refuse to hear me out because my BPD showed itself. They just decided I was being an evil person just because and cut off contact entirely because I couldn't be "normal" for them. I have had people deliberately provoke an episode in me because it would make me look like the villain and not them, even after withdrawing from the situation so I could get my emotions under control. They fucking followed me to keep provoking my BPD because they knew it would cause me to escalate into instability.

If you only support the easily manageable, low visibility mental health disorders, then you don't really support mental health at all. We aren't evil. We are just people who are too fucking tired from containing our emotions so we wouldn't explode at work or school. And some people go out of their way to instigate us so they have a "bad guy" to point out as "problematic".

I'm so tired of being lonely because of this horrible disorder. I absolutely wish I could be normal. But I'm not. I can take my meds religiously and attend every therapy session and I will still have an episode if my stress is high enough. Don't fucking tell me that I'm not trying because I am.