I Know He's Gone.

Please come back

Please

I miss you

I want him back. Please god

2 years

:(

Aeschylus’ The Oresteia: Agamemnon (tr. Richmond Lattimore)

You got hurt suddenly, fatally.

I had my nose in the newest Andy Weir book and I was obsessed with it. The moment I heard my brother stomp on the floor above me, his door fly open, and the sound of an ambulance over a speakerphone lives in my brain.

It won't ever leave, though I didn't know it at the time.

You got hurt... A lot.

Like chronically.

On the way out the door I grabbed my book.

I figured you'd be okay.

I planned on a late night in the hospital, letting my mom go home to sleep while the kept you for observation and, hey, I could read my book.

I never opened that book again.

I returned it to the library unfinished.

I don't want to be in this year. I want to go back. He's not in this year I want to go back please

I miss the little whistle you'd do to get someone's attention. The little two note high low whistle. You used it the last time I spoke to you and it was a good conversation. I still use it to get the cat's attention because it's what he responded to best.

He misses you like hell.

So do I.

How did you live through all that shit just to be brought down by this? It makes no fucking sense.

I still need you.

I just want to hear your voice again

Yell at me

Please yell at me

Because then at least you'd be breathing

First snow without him.

I wish he'd yell at me to shovel the damn driveway.

How fucked up is that?

It really was that bad.

We really did hurt each other.

We said awful things to each other.

Why did we have to hurt each other?

Was my pride that important?

Was the house always being messy that bad?

Could we have compromised somewhere?

Yeah. We could have.

But we can’t anymore.

Because you’re gone.

And I’m all that’s left.

You can’t apologize to a grave.