Please Come Back

I miss the little whistle you'd do to get someone's attention. The little two note high low whistle. You used it the last time I spoke to you and it was a good conversation. I still use it to get the cat's attention because it's what he responded to best.

He misses you like hell.

So do I.

2 years

:(

It really was that bad.

We really did hurt each other.

We said awful things to each other.

Why did we have to hurt each other?

Was my pride that important?

Was the house always being messy that bad?

Could we have compromised somewhere?

Yeah. We could have.

But we can’t anymore.

Because you’re gone.

And I’m all that’s left.

You can’t apologize to a grave.

Aeschylus’ The Oresteia: Agamemnon (tr. Richmond Lattimore)

I don't want to be in this year. I want to go back. He's not in this year I want to go back please

how do i become my own father? - Alexander Anthony Mar

You got hurt suddenly, fatally.

I had my nose in the newest Andy Weir book and I was obsessed with it. The moment I heard my brother stomp on the floor above me, his door fly open, and the sound of an ambulance over a speakerphone lives in my brain.

It won't ever leave, though I didn't know it at the time.

You got hurt... A lot.

Like chronically.

On the way out the door I grabbed my book.

I figured you'd be okay.

I planned on a late night in the hospital, letting my mom go home to sleep while the kept you for observation and, hey, I could read my book.

I never opened that book again.

I returned it to the library unfinished.

I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you

First snow without him.

I wish he'd yell at me to shovel the damn driveway.

How fucked up is that?

3 years ago today they sat me down and told me you weren’t going to be okay.

Not because of cancer or a heart attack.

Something stupid.

An accident.

I didn’t even know that the last time I spoke to you would be the last.

Somehow it wasn’t a fight.

Somehow, you complemented me for the first time in a long time.

It felt like a new start.

A tenuous truce.

And then you were gone.

Forever.