2023-06-11

too bright to be dark

i feel like im too bright but deep down i want to be absolute dark and hide somewhere where nobody is able to find me. trust me.

"dont get too close, its dark inside

its where my demons hide

its where my demons hide" ~ Imagine Dragons

real

It's my 2 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Things that you need to remember to understand the vast majority of European history:

Britain and France’s foreign policies towards one another was essentially a mutual fuck you

Russia is big and cold

(On a related point: invading Russia doesn’t work because Winter™️)

The Pope loves a good crusade

There were a lot of treaties of ‘Perpetual Peace’ that totally worked (lol)

Trying to maintain the ✨balance of power ✨ pretty much always led to war 

German wasn’t Germany until quite recently but when Germany became Germany it made everyone a bit nervous

Italy also wasn’t Italy until pretty recently

The French love a revolution

They also love a republic but aren’t great at keeping one around 

Napoleon (the first one) was a Bitch and messed everything up

Standard British answer to any reasonable request: ✨no ✨

War is the answer to everything cause who doesn’t love a good war?

The Holy Roman Empire wasn’t the Roman Empire but they liked to tell themselves that it was

The Habsburgs liked to be in charge

😍 m o n e y 😍

Britain liked ships

Spain also liked ships

So did the Portuguese

The Spanish were very Catholic  (but the Spanish Inquisition were actually expected)

Basically all the royals were related (*haemophilia has entered the chat*)

England and Scotland were Not Friends but France and Scotland were (which equaled Major Problems)

The Dutch were 💰rich 💰and everyone wanted a bit of it

Religion was a *bit* of an issue

✨ feudalism ✨

Everyone want to be the Romans 2.0 

You could making a drinking game out of all the French Wars of Religion

Everyone found the Ottomons a little bit scary (cause they were *gasps and screams of horror* not Christian)

There has been more than one defenestrations in Prague 

Poland Lithuania was not very Lithuanian

British policy to land/important cultural item/anything that they come across: ✨finders keepers ✨

"mom"

"its a hmm sound with an alphabet with lips open in between" - charles bennetto 'chick' from one more day by mitch albom.

i adore my mother so much. maybe you all do too but its about me today. she was in a meeting, i was in that meeting too so she had her cam off and she was telling the rules for an event taking place on 13th aug to which i was paying so much attention that made me write this post.

i m listening to her as she is mentioning all the rules and there is something in her voice which gives me goosebumps. which just makes me realize that i love her so much. she has got that power, that spark which takes you on a long journey and helps you reach wherever you want to be.

this can be a manifestation - she will definitely reach greater heights.

cheers to her current success and all the best to her for the upcoming stuff. she is the strongest woman i know.

(there is no way this post will be viewed by my mother and thats the best part because guess what - i cant show my love like this. i always tell my mother this when she asks me to give her a hug and deny it... i say that mom this isnt my love language. i cant tell you i love you by saying it or by hugging you instead i show my love for you through my actions and i think that only she has observed my that form of love. nobody else ever did that. and i expect people i love to see that i love them through my actions and what i do for them, how i do for them, why i do that for them. it hurts but we dont talk about it.)

i love you so much mummy. i love you.

today mummy said "dont be afraid of anything" and fuck anything and anything at all. i aint going back now.

also today mummy attended an award show and she came back with an award (ofc) and a something idk word for it but we put it from one side of the shoulder and let it fall to the other side below our hands something and as soon as she came back she asked me to close my eyes and she was making me wear that and handed me her award. i am in love with her. whatever she has been through i am gonna change her future for sure. she deserves happiness. love of my life is my mom.

maybe he did it on purpose. GOD did it on purpose.

A rare moment during the process of coral bleaching

ROMATCIZING SADNESS. (not really)

i didnt know what romanticizing sadness actually means until i watched this video by tam kaur on yt and in the last part she said "stop romanticizing your sadness.. thinking about them and making scenarios and replaying the situation over and over again" and im sitting here absolutely clueless and dumb. because i was ROMATICIZING SADNESS in april 2023. and man. holy holy.

fairytales are true.