All I Want Is Qty 1! A Dimly Lit Cafe/bookstore With Good Coffee And Comfortable Seating. That's It.

tldr: autism is fucking exhausting and i'm so ready to graduate to have a modicum of free time for my special interests and bedrotting.

2025, week 7 (feb 10th - feb 16th) 👩‍💻

another week of ups and downs. hang in there, friends.

accomplishments this week:

I did two more presentations at work, now I am finally done with those for a little while lol

I finished going through the modules for the NVIDIA cert, now I just have to study and pass the exam

I finished going through the first chapter of my ham radio study book. it's been a hot second since I've taken a physics course, but luckily I'm mostly remembering it as I go

highlights this week:

I've continued to drink copious amounts of tea

I made a trip to a local electronics store to get some parts for a project

I read a bunch and added some new entries to my commonplace book

it's exam day for Network+! I have been studying 2+ hours daily for this stupid cert for weeks on end.

Affirmations for the day

I will pass this test because I am knowledgeable of all areas of the content.

I have the problem solving skills necessary to figure out the answers to the questions.

I prepared adequately for this and I will pass.

Virginia Woolf, A Writer’s Diary, August 1921

...

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years

taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult

at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)

'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65

it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age

it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.

you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.

young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!

there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

eight step guide on how to study (as a third year pre-med student with ADHD and a 4.0)

welcome to my step by step guide on how to study. i have a love-hate relationship with studying, but this is what works to get me going. getting started is the hardest part, i promise.

step one: prep your space. get a glass of water or coffee or energy drink and make sure you have everything you need out and ready. throw your phone across the room or just put it out of sight. you will forget that other fun things exist (like tik tok) if you cannot see it. out of sight, out of mind.

step two: sit at your desk (or table or a general designated study space with a chair). studying in bed never works like you think it will and studying on the floor (while enriching) will do nothing but hurt your back from hunching over. sitting at your desk makes you feel much more productive (most of my study sessions start by just forcing myself to sit in my chair).

step three: put some music or ambience on. if i need to use my brain more i'll opt for some fantasy-themed forest ambience or sci-fi droning sounds. your brain is tricked into thinking that you're having fun if music is on, but plot twist! you're actually being productive. music i turn to is soft piano, video game soundtracks (genshin, undertale, minecraft, stardew valley) or lofi, but your mileage may vary. DO NOT do music with words unless you want to be distracted.

step four: make a list of need-to-dos and rank them based on priority and time. start by doing an activity that will take a short amount of time. by completing a short to-do, it builds the motivation to keep going.

step five: start a study timer. i bought a physical study timer that is so satisfying to wind and set and watch the time tick by, but a desktop one works just fine. set your timer based on how much energy you have. some days i go for 60 minutes, some days i do 25, it all just depends. as a study session goes on, it's normal for your amount of energy to go down. i may do 60-45-30-20 then take a long break. know thyself and thine needs!

step six: lock in. do not think about what you are doing, simply do it. do it before your brain has the chance to convince you it doesn't like what you're doing.

step seven: take regular, controlled, and useful breaks. do not start an activity on your break that will break your flow. walk around, stretch, check your phone, refill your drink, have a snack. reward yourself! you're doing great, i promise.

step eight: long break. do something that will rest your mind. maybe watch youtube, eat a meal, play a video game, read a few chapters of a book. be proud of the work you've accomplished.

i hope this helps! happy studying!

mutuals. c'mere. this is a checkpoint. i am checking in. i am wrapping you in a blanket and giving you a nice warm drink. also some pretty flowers. it will be ok.

the witchy urge to just be naked and swim in a spring under the full moon.

my main mantras for 2025

plot plot plot

remember people love you

end harmful pattern

love yourself and know your worth

focus on growth (in all areas)

remember people care

be scared and do it anyway

no self-isolation (call bestie)

nonchalant is for losers

2025 is for yearning

my insta @ malusokay