part one - a fateful meeting
chapter one・chapter two・chapter three・chapter four
chapter five・chapter six・chapter seven・chapter eight
chapter nine・chapter ten・ chapter eleven・chapter twelve
chapter thirteen
part two - the ball
chapter one・chapter two・chapter three・chapter four
chapter five ・chapter six・chapter seven・chapter eight
chapter nine・chapter ten・chapter eleven・chapter twelve
chapter thirteen・chapter fourteen・chapter fifteen
chapter sixteen・chapter seventeen
chapter eighteen・chapter nineteen・chapter twenty
chapter twenty one・chapter twenty two・chapter twenty three
chapter twenty four・chapter twenty five・chapter twenty six
chapter twenty seven・chapter twenty eight・chapter twenty nine
chapter thirty・chapter thirty one・chapter thirty two
part three - the grim reaper incident
chapter one・chapter two・chapter three・chapter four
chapter five ・chapter six・chapter seven・chapter eight
chapter nine・chapter ten・chapter eleven・chapter twelve
chapter thirteen・chapter fourteen・chapter fifteen
chapter sixteen・chapter seventeen
chapter eighteen・chapter nineteen・chapter twenty
chapter twenty one・chapter twenty two・chapter twenty three
chapter twenty four・chapter twenty five・chapter twenty six
chapter twenty seven・chapter twenty eight・chapter twenty nine
part four - thanksgiving
chapter one・chapter two・chapter three・chapter four
chapter five・chapter six・chapter seven・chapter eight
chapter nine・chapter ten・ chapter eleven・chapter twelve
part five - devil butlers
chapter one・chapter two・chapter three・chapter four
chapter five ・chapter six・chapter seven・chapter eight
chapter nine・chapter ten・chapter eleven・chapter twelve
chapter thirteen・chapter fourteen・chapter fifteen
chapter sixteen・chapter seventeen
chapter eighteen・chapter nineteen・chapter twenty
chapter twenty one・chapter twenty two・chapter twenty three
chapter twenty four・chapter twenty five・chapter twenty six
chapter twenty seven・chapter twenty eight・chapter twenty nine
chapter thirty・chapter thirty one・chapter thirty two
chapter thirty three・chapter thirty four・chapter thirty five
chapter thirty six・chapter thirty seven
EVENT STORIES
the black tea party
chapter one・chapter two・chapter three・chapter four
chapter five・chapter six・chapter seven・chapter eight
chapter nine・chapter ten・chapter eleven
butlers valentine
chapter one・chapter two・chapter three・chapter four
chapter five・chapter six・chapter seven
white worship
chapter one・chapter two・chapter three・chapter four
chapter five・chapter six・chapter seven・chapter eight
chapter nine・chapter ten・chapter eleven・chapter twelve
doll town
chapter one・chapter two・chapter three・chapter four
chapter five・chapter six・chapter seven・chapter eight
chapter nine・chapter ten・chapter eleven・chapter twelve
BUTLER STORIES
fennesz
the mediator
flure
i’ll risk my life
This is how I see Lilia honestly
I think one of the most fascinating aspects of Joshua's character is that he was raised by a cult that worships him and it shows.
The game is very unsubtle in depicting the Undying as a cult, if a benign one whose goals are largely aligned with Clive's: the way it recruits from the disenfranchised dredges of society, the way it isolates it's members from the outside world, and associates devotion to their deity with worth as a person, even glorifying self sacrifice even past the point of reason- something Clive and Cyril butt heads on repeatedly.
And you can see the way that both being raised by them and being their messiah has impacted Joshua: the way Joshua feels that he can and should be able to do everything on his own (rebuffing Jote's efforts to help him even with small matters, avoiding Clive in order to 'protect' him), the way he's feels a right to order the lives of others around his own wishes (his meddling in the politics of each Kingdom, especially Sanbreque), even the subtle hint that he's given up on trying to persuade the Undying not to sacrifice their lives for his gain (and the even more subtle implication that he's maybe accepted that self sacrifice is a good thing, given his own self-sacrificial tendencies for Clive).
Their's this big gap after the reveal Joshua is alive where you wonder: how did he get from where he was Phoenix Gate (the shy innocent boy who wanted to do his duty more to make his brother proud then for it's own sake) to where he is at Drake's Spine (confident, mysterious, cold blooded in his pursuit of his goals), and the game answers that so effectively in the introduction of the Undying. This is where he learned it, this is what shaped him after everything fell apart and he went into hiding: a cult that all at once was trying to parent and worship and aid a 10 year old messiah whose only real desire was to save his brother from the monster that tore them apart.
one of my worst writing sins is abusing my power to create compound words. i cannot write the sentence "The sun shone as bright as honey that afternoon." no. that's boring. "The sun was honey-bright that afternoon" however? yes. that sentence is dope as fuck. i do not care if "honey-bright" is a word in the english dictionary. i do not care if the sentence is grammatically correct. i will not change. i will not correct my erred ways. the laws of the english language are mine.
caiowe dump
Tony and his PPs (forgot to post this one too)
Vanguard \o/
In 2024, I managed to finish 14 Filipino-written books; among them, I can recommend seven:
Lucia Dreaming by Lucia Asul—This is a dream diary written and illustrated by Lucia Asul. It has a very cool art style, and dreams range from creepy to horrific to cosmic. The smell of this book is also unbeatable, IMO. It's the best-smelling book I've ever read.
Isabela by Kaisa Aquino—I have a review for this one here. I hesitate to call this a novel; it reads like a short story collection featuring women and men with similar names, all surrounding armed resistance and agrarian strife in Isabela to Manila. Very literary in the way it was written.
The Three-Cornered Sun by Linda-Ty Casper—Another one that I've written a review on. This historical fiction chronicles the Philippine revolution and features a family who found themselves on different sides of the war. Many beautiful and existential passages as the war went on. This book also features some of my favorite passages on rivers.
Love Without a Heart (May Pagsinta'y Walang Puso) by Inigo Ed Regalado tr by Soledad Reyes—A romp. I had such a good time with this book. It's a romance novel written in 1921, and the melodrama is so fun to read. Nothing hits like this anymore, I swear.
Tiempo Muerto by Caroline Hau—Is yet another one I've written more about. This is set on the fictional island of Banwa but tells the history of Negros, in an ancestral Bahay Na Bato House, where the protagonist's mother was lost in the aftermath of a typhoon that hit the island. Has a gothic, haunted house vibe in places but is ultimately about agrarian strife and the connection of resistance with our mountains. A really great read.
Tao sa Prowa: Mga Tala, Mga Taon ni Allan Popa—This is a series of vignettes featuring mundane things, then the author's reflections springing from them. This is a beautiful, well-curated collection. A bit pricey for a zine, but whatever. There are plenty of nuggets of gold in here.
Manansala by Enrique Villasis—Speaking of beautiful collections, this poetry collection features, converses with, meditates, reacts to and reimagines some of the works of the legendary cubist Vicente Manansala. As a nature writing fan, I especially loved the nature-adjacent works, but what I love most is the concept of this poetry collection. Auto-buy author sakin si En Villasis after reading this.
There you have it, my recommended Filipino-written works! Tell me if you've read books from this list and what you thought about them!
Peter, not slept in 2 days and on a minecraft binge: no, no Mr. Stark dont turn the lights off or else the mobs will spawn
Tony, standing by the labs light switch: the who
If you’re having writers block…READ!!!! CONSUME MEDIA
I feel like I don’t hear that given enough as advice for writers block..just read? Watch tv? Movies? Find inspiration in media.
Writers block is a lack of inspiration, so go collect more.
Always wrecks me up that Meleanor is as forgotten as Knight of Dawn is, that even her son doesn't remember her.
Just like Silver, Lilia didn't inform him of his identity as a Silver Owl so that Silver can live without guilt of the atrocities his original kingdom did.
But, I think, in Malleus' case, Lilia and Maleficia (I think) didn't inform him too much about Meleanor's demise, not so much because they don't want to guilt Malleus about her sacrifice to him, that's a part of it, but I also think it was more so that his hatred for humans wouldn't go deeper. Especially since he was raised in the castle with only the Senates and pure faes who has limited interaction with humans, so naturally he grew disliking humans too (until he met Silver).
As we know, Malleus is very attached to his past, that's why in Book 7, he's having a hard time to let go. Even his interests mirrors his tight attachment to the past, i.e his fascination on history, ruins, antiques, abandoned places, etc.
I think in an alternate reality where he had knew about every detail that happened on Meleanor and Levan and the faes on Wild rose Castle basically, his view on humankind would be even more negative. He might even reject his invitation on NRC just like Gen. Lilia did. And, unlike Lilia, since Malleus always attaches to the past and not on the possible future, he might even never give chance that he can get along with humans.
I know its popular analysis that Meleanor and Malleus are different, but to me, they're fundamentally the same person, just raised in a different environment. Meleanor was never given a chance to see a good side of the humans, Malleus was like that for a bit, even in NRC, he still held his deep rooted belief that he really doesn't believe that humans would understand faes as Lilia hopes (Dorm Uniform Vignette). Malleus and Meleanor are the "same person" but Malleus just "had the chance to not know" the entire history of it, so that he can form his own opinion about it as he grows up.
Even if he grew up knowing it, it would be immature to stay on his hatred for humans for so long (I think Malleus would do this considering his trait of being attached to the past) and I think Lilia and Maleficia didnt want Malleus to grow up like that,, they must usher him to a better future yk.
Its just that its tragic that for Malleus to grow up and take a chance towards a better future, he has to forget major things about his mother and all the sacrifices that his family made, just so he wouldn't be "stuck with it. "
Maybe in a reality where Malleus does know every detail of his history, but just that, it would take a long time for him to let go of his guilt and hatred, that by the time he's ready to forgive humankind, Lilia might not be there to guide him anymore.
I think I read an analysis back then (or was it a legit line in game?? lol) that Malleus shouldve been in Briar Valley for just a bit longer instead of suddenly transferring to NRC where there'll be too many culture shock for him, he's just not entirely capable yet of balancing his feelings and power, but I think Maleficia/Lilia couldn't afford to have that much time to emotionally grow Malleus in Briar Valley, for the reason that by the time Malleus would be in control of his power and feelings, Lilia wouldn't be there anymore to guard him in NRC and guide him about human culture. (He says his magic weakens over the years)
I feel like Maleficia only agreed to take Malleus to NRC bcs Lilia will be there, he's the perfect guide for Malleus to have with in NRC, he's strong so he can physically protect him while also being a wise person that can teach Malleus about understanding humans while still upholding his fae values. Other guards wouldn't be suitable. Silver and Sebek are not fully trained, Baul is an advisor now not a soldier and he wouldn't be a great guide to have in human society lol So, she has to take that chance while Lilia is still here, even if Malleus is just "too young."
side note: what if thats also the reason why Maleficia let go of Meleanor to Wild Rose Castle alkfdklsd She trusted Lilia and Levan would protect her and they did yet even so.... 😭😭😭 I feel like its so tragic that everytime Maleficia let go of Meleanor/Malleus, they're always leading into a danger where she cannot reach and help them (on Meleanor's case, the communication on Black Scale and Wild Rose was disrupted bcs every envoy that Lilia and other soldiers sent to inform Maleficia that Wild Rose was besieged was all killed by the Silver Owls, so Maleficia knew too late. On Malleus' case, it would be too risky for her to just suddenly show up on Sage Island, it would leave Briar Valley in a very vulnerable state with no Draconia residing in their land, STYX is calling her to meet Malleus but I think many faes would disagree on their plan bcs that's exactly the type of situation that cornered Meleanor years ago, Levan/Malleus is lost and in danger so Meleanor/Maleficia has to save them, if you think about it in Briar Valley's view, it feels like a trap lol. It's not an easy decision to just let go of their only Draconia ruler to a human territory and on top of that, they're on the verge of losing one(Malleus). I wish they create a scene of the Briar Govt in the book, I'm sure the Senates are in ruins and regretting that Malleus went to that school or something, like its always STYX when its equally intriguing to know Maleficia and the Senates reaction to Malleus' overblot.
I find it really depressing that Malleus, like Silver, was born out of so much love from their family, yet they never knew the full scope of it (until now). 😭😭😭
personal writing account ☆ 19 | they/them ☆ NOT SPOILER FREE! ☆ Ao3 ☆ Ko-fi ☆ Commission info
323 posts