Someone: Yeah It Was So Sad When This Character Died

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

Once again randomly remembered this story about a couple who had a small parrot - pretty sure it was a budgie - who didn't talk but learned to communicate with people in its own way. Once it figured out that people always turn to check their phones when the notification sound comes on, it started making the text message notification sound to request human attention. The parrot also liked to follow people to the door whenever guests were leaving, and would use its wings to pantomime the motions of a person putting their coat on. A very clever, charming bird.

And every once in a while it just randomly hated some people. Not for any real reason, or even reason to suspect bad vibes, but by deciding "fuck this person in particular" for shits and giggles alone. And one time when the owners had invited a new friend to their home, the bird decided that it Did Not Like Her.

So in the middle of polite conversation, the bird - who was free to roam around the apartment at the time - hopped onto the living room coffee table, right in front of the unwanted guest. And in that moment, the owners put two and two together and understood that whatever mischief the bird had decided to do, it was now too late to stop it.

But instead of unleashing the absolute hell that even the tiniest displeased parrot could be capable of, the little budgie made its little "may I have your attention please" cell phone notification sound, and once the guest was focused on the bird, looked at her dead in the eye while doing the putting-my-coat-on wing motion.

The guest did not recognise the pantomime for what it was, but she was nonetheless delighted that the parrot would do a little wing-roll dance for her. And the host couple were at first too stunned and then too polite to tell her how impressive that gesture truly was. Their bird had shown both remarkable restraint and cleverness by using its entire vocabulary of human communication just to say

"I have an important announcement: I think you should leave."

rare vent art from a few months ago

king of rizz™ 🥂

I have a REQUEST of non dick Grayson fanfiction writers

If you’re writing a fic and you need a way to write Dick out a la ‘Cass was busy in Hong Kong’ PLEASE MAKE IT THE MOST NONSENSICAL thing I’ve ever read

I wanna see

“Dick was busy fighting the devil in hell… he said he was fine so we’re leaving him be”

“I called dick and he just said no? And hung up?? So I’m guessing he’s busy?”

“ Dick was kidnapped by a space monarch and the titans are trying to bargain for him back… he didn’t do anything wrong they just like him and his wanna keep him”

“He’s stuck in a barrel rn”

“Dick is trapped in a noir film”

“He’s busy at the MET”

“I would call Dick but I think he’s on a remote island battling deathstroke rn and I don’t wanna be involved in all that”

“I would call Dick but he’s in Amazon rainforest and they have bad signal”

Are you seeing the vision? Like I want SILVER AGE NONSENSE FOR MY BOY. Like bro is just chilling firmly OUTSIDE the story

Like Tim is doing his whole angst plotline and he tries to call dick and he gets “hey Timmy would love to stay and chat but I’m being chased by sentient cotton candy and I gotta find a water source love you ciao”

Jason needs Allies and he calls Dick and it’s like “hey sorry would love to help but I’m in an alien deathmatch for the crown of a nation and I’m being attacked by a meat cleaver thing? Bye don’t get blown up again! Love you”

Damian needs a place to chill after Bruce is an asshole “sorry kid would love to help but i am currently in the Gotham sewers being handfed cheesecake don’t ask it’s a long story I’ll tell you when you’re 18 bye”

Babs needs him for something “would love to help but I’m having a tea party with a being beyond comprehension and if I blink I’ll die so send me details and I’ll get back to you when slash if I’m alive in 5-6 business days.”

Bruce calls “I’m herding space cows rn is everyone alive? If not tell me now so I don’t have to find out from a newspaper? No everyone’s fine. Lovely. Delete this number”

what the fuck why are all the niigo vol 3 songs ages restricted only one of them swears

em dash is so fucking sexy. puts her in a paragraph 8 times.

Jason wakes up in his coffin fully aware. Between the headstone (no Wayne) and its placement (not in the Wayne family plot), Jason concludes that Bruce has written him off. He goes back to Crime Alley and decides to stay away from the Bats and vigilantism.

Unfortunately, vigilantism doesn't stay away from him.

Jason breaks up a violent drug deal dressed in a red hoodie ONCE and all of a sudden he's being called the Red Hood and stalked by mini Robins.