I Mentioned Tomato Juice In My Last Post, So Here's A Tomato Juice Story For Your Amusement.

Shout-out to our creative writing tutors at uni who chose THIS header image for our graduation project's moodle page:

Yeah. They get it.

Seeing a coworker/classmate sitting to the side and reading a book while on their break and then coming up to them and asking "what are you reading" should be illegal actually

They should invent arguing with stupid people on the internet that's good for me and not bad for me at all

Tumblr seems fond of the Ukrainian "living is hard, dying would be a pity", so here's another part of Ukrainian vernacular that you guys might also like. This one is new and developed in 2022.

I would like to introduce it to you in the following context: it was August 2022, I returned to Ukraine for the first time since evacuating in March and was going through baby's first in a while air raid (in Odesa). I texted my best friend, who never left Kyiv, saying that I'm scared to go to sleep in case I wake up having died of a missile or whatever. She put on her very best Yoda face and bestowed upon me the following:

"1. Їбане так їбане." (Yibane tak yibane).

Now, this is extremely hard to explain, but I will try, to the best of my ability.

So, the basic meaning of it is: "If it strikes, it strikes". However, the verb for "strike" here is derived from the profane root word which basically means "to fuck". So a closer stylistic choice would be, "If it fucks you up, it fucks you up", or "If your ass gets struck, your ass gets struck". This is usually spoken before the person decides to ignore the air raid, set aside the feeling of impending doom and go to sleep.

That wasn't the end:

"2. І взагалі навряд чи їбане. (But in general it probably won't.)

3. Але якщо їбане - так їбане. (But if it strikes, then it strikes)."

That night I slept like a baby and didn't, in fact, wake up dead.

So if you are currently dealing with the impending doom around horrors you have no control over, take the wisdom of Ukrainians who have been grappling with horrors beyond comprehension for over three years now (some longer):

Їбане так їбане.

І взагалі навряд чи їбане.

Go to sleep.

i'll fucking do it but christ alive

Followed a Wikipedia source in hopes of finding something useful for my essay about Kafka's Metamorphosis and stumbled upon something much better

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

Okay so this post breached containment I think so I feel the need to clarify, because the vibes in the notes seem to suggest that people see this as an inspirational quote bestowed onto someone to help them soldier on. That's not how Ukrainians do it. Rather, imagine a person that looks like they haven't slept in three days and also hiked up a mountain. They are asked "Hey how you doing buddy", and in response they let out the deepest, most done with this shit sigh you can imagine, mutter their favourite curse word and THEN they say the phrase (which, by the way, is four words in Ukrainian - тяжко жити, шкода вмерти/tyazhko zhyty, shkoda vmerty). It's said as if they're trying to convince themselves that dying would, indeed, he a pity. The other person looks at them, their eyes full of understanding, sighs also and then says "well at least we're not russians".

And THAT is what helps a Ukrainian soldier on.

One of the biggest issues of moving to England as a person who is Ukrainian AND neurodivergent is not knowing how to answer the small talk question of "how are you", but today I was reminded that Ukrainian blessed me with the phrase that roughly translates as "living is hard but dying would be a pity" and can we please naturalise it so I can use it all day every day