All Hills Are Silent If You Think About It

some twat just insulted my dead mum, im about to run away to london and join a pickpocketing ring, but first, musical number

miss piggy puts up with so much as a woman in show business and her response to misogyny is never to turn the other cheek or take the high road. it’s to physically attack people. and she’s right.

i had a terrible idea

BBC Ghosts + Reductress Headlines (x)

I love this so much holy fuck

Some favourite staging moments in productions of Shakespeare plays:

Clarence actually getting drowned in a barrel of wine on stage in Richard III; it was a small barrel, they stuck his head into it as he struggled, pulled him out for an instant as he gasped for air and screamed, his head was wet and sopping, his face all red

Macbeth clutching his empty hands to hold an imaginary child, casting a clawed shadow on the wall

Ophelia ripping out hanks of her hair to give to people during her ‘flowers’ scene (obviously fake hair in real life)

Benedict in Much Ado About Nothing hiding from Claudio, Leonato and Don Pedro, taking a swig from a can of beer that happened to be full of cigarette butts and spit-taking it all over Don Pedro and Leonato

who then awkwardly pretend to check if it’s raining

Angelo in Measure for Measure taking off a bloody cilice belt from around his thigh while saying ‘Blood, thou art blood’ 

Also a really good bit where Angelo shows up in a two way mirror later on when the Duke’s speaking to himself and cursing him; the Duke turns to point at the mirror and there’s Angelo, in the chain of office, pointing back, accusing the Duke as much as the Duke does to him

The moment in Julius Caesar where Brutus asks his servant Strato - who’s been sitting with his back to the audience and wearing a hat with a wide brim - to help him commit suicide; Strato stands while taking off his hat to reveal that he’s played by Caesar’s actor

(a collective gasp went around the theatre; really lent a whole new meaning to ‘Caesar, now be still. I killed not thee with half so good a will’)

After a frantic chase scene in The Comedy of Errors which ends with all the cast collapsed across the stage in exhaustion and the scenery itself falling to bits…a pair of underpants falls from the ceiling, and Dromio of Ephesus (who’d tried in vain to retrieve them at the start of the play) crawls over several other characters, seizes them and screams in triumph 

there’s a fucking furry at the mall!!!!

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

no offense but I heard the evil scientist say he likes studying me better than you

Going at 1 am to the farmer's market to buy the secret fruits

I have never laughed at anything in my life as hard as I laughed at this fucking bracket