Hi! I Was Wondering If You Could Do Angst Prompt 29 With Zhongli? Thank You!

“jay—” 

the sentence you somehow thought you could form dies in your throat as your breath shudders in your lungs. 

“yes, my love?” your roommate, jason todd, looks up from where he’s happily situated: between your thighs. his attention now divided, you’re mercifully granted a break. you gulp for air, your hands over your face. 

“i just need—” 

“what? what do you need?” he cuts you off, impatient that you’re pulling him away from what he’s been so dutifully working on for probably an hour..if not more. “you want me to stop?” jason teases, rubbing a warm, calloused hand over the meat of your thigh. “does it feel too good?”

“w-what?” confused, you shake your head. “i don’t—”

“i think you need someone to worry about you for once, huh?” he raises an eyebrow at you, causing your cheeks to heat as your hands fly back up to your face. “what, you don’t agree?” 

you open your mouth to argue, then close it. then open it again, thinking. 

“mm. that’s what i thought.” your roommate smirks at you, turning his gaze back onto the part of you that’s still pulsing with heat from his ministrations. his chin’s slick from how much time he’s spent tongue deep in your pussy. 

but he wants more. 

wants to feel your hands in his hair again, gripping as he draws orgasm after orgasm out of you. wants to feel your thighs tight around his head, your self-control wavering as your back arches off the mattress, again and again. 

wants nothing but to breathe you in as he presses feathery light kisses to your puffy clit, watching you squirm from the barely-there pressure of his lips. 

wants you, all of you, the happy, sad, messy, angry, loving, caring, beautiful you,

—but jason: dead and revived, beaten and bruised, silent and steadfast, your jason, can’t always put that into words, can he?

so he wants you to feel it, really feel it:

in the way he pats your thigh lovingly as he runs his tongue through your folds, over and over. 

in the way he carries you to bed when you fall asleep on him in the living room. kisses your forehead as he tucks you in.

in the way he brushes your hair out of your face before he grabs you by the cheeks and your lips meet. 

in the way he knows your favorite, well, everything. 

in the way he’s always holding your hand when the two of you walk anywhere.

in the way his pupils always widen, huge and blown out, when he looks at you, making your heart pound in time with his as he holds your gaze. 

in the way he washes your hair in the shower, 

makes your coffee in the mornings, 

buys and arranges flowers for you,

wears that cologne you like,

knows the sidewalk rule, 

kisses your forehead,

laughs with you,

smirks at you,

loves you.

and yet you two are.. 

you two, and you both worry. 

of course, you both worry. 

he worries he’s not enough for you—

his lifestyle, his history..how could he ever be what you need? how could he give you the life you deserve?

—and you worry you’re a little too much sometimes. 

a man like that? with his past, his present? and yet he takes care of you like it’s the easiest thing in the world. like he could do it in his sleep. 

all you know is that he doesn’t have to worry, shouldn’t have to, because whatever, or however much he thinks he wants something, you want it just as much..if not more. 

and what you want next? to make it official? to really, truly, make him your jason?

well. 

how could he refuse you?

Please give me mona from genshin impact

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

Say You Love Me

Pairing: Xiao x gn!reader

Word Count: 1413

Genre: Angsty drabble, Hurt to comfort

Warnings: Idk it's just angsty & negative at first but it gets better near the end

Posted: 19.O6.2O21

Inspired By: TXT – 0X1 = LOVESONG (yes because many parts of the lyrics remind me of Xiao)

Summary: It's one of those days again, where the violent peaks in the adeptus' karma become too much to bear on his own. In his moment of despair, he finds himself calling out your name.

Note: Xiao's backstory broke my heart and it still didn't heal 💔. I know he's merely fictional, but he deserves the whole entire world and I wish I could end his suffering and make him happy 🤧

You didn't know why, you didn't know how. You were simply enjoying a cup of black tea in your favorite teahouse in Liyue Harbor when a hand of cold steel had taken a hold of your heart, and you knew something was wrong. 

Without even so much as a fragment of hesitation, you left some mora on your table near the window and abandoned your barely-touched tea as you exited the place in a rush of restless concern. There wasn't much rational thinking going on in your mind, mostly because your thoughts were blank and it was merely your instincts that told you it wasn't right.

There was just one coherent word perpetually repeated in your slightly confused yet worried mind; Xiao. 

Your feet had a will of their own as they brought you through the streets of the port city, it was as if your body knew exactly where to go and what to do while your mind didn't quite follow yet. All you had was a feeling, a seed of distress that had settled in your gut stubbornly and directed you to what was hopefully the right place. You were quite certain it had something to do with your beloved adeptus, and the more you grasped onto that thought, the more you started to realize what could possibly be wrong. 

You had to hurry. 

By now you were running, leaving the streets of Liyue Harbor behind and venturing into the wilderness surrounding the city. Maybe it was your imagination that was clouded with worry, but it was as if a magnetic force was pulling you into a certain direction and you could only hope it was correct. You would never forgive yourself if it wasn't, if your feeling guided you to the wrong place, if you wouldn't be able to find and help Xiao, if you –

No, you weren't going to be too late. 

Your lungs were burning at this point, every inch of your body begging you to stop. Not yet, not yet, you pleaded to yourself. You were close, Xiao was near you and you could feel it in your entire being. It started to come together now that you found yourself in the vicinity of the old run-down shrine not too far from the harbor. 

     "Y/N," echoed over the plains weakly, and your heartbeat stilled for a moment as the voice reached your ears, familiar and – regretfully –  evenly familiarly strained. 

You ran, making a dire call on the last remnants of your stamina to push through in order to reach your deeply troubled lover. You had yet to understand why you always seemed to sense Xiao's suffering, but it had often brought you to him when he needed you the most and you were incredibly grateful for the, let's say, sixth sense you had. 

     "Xiao!" you called, ultimately spotting the male hunched over on the ground in the old shrine, barely able to sit up against the forgotten statue of a fallen adeptus. His jade spear was a few feet away from him, covered in dust and shards of stone. 

Your heart wrenched in pain at the sight, and you wasted no time to approach him and crouch down on the rough soil right by his side, barely noticing the debris scraping your knees. His eyes were shut tightly as you took him in your arms, pulling his trembling form against your chest that would hopefully offer him some comfort, even if it was just a little. 

     "Y/N," he breathed, his fingers gripping onto the fabric of your shirt as if you were all he had, as if he was afraid that you would leave again, as if you were his only light left in the darkness that consumed him. 

No words were needed for you to understand what he was going through, just one glance had you knowing all you needed to know. The yaksha was sweating profusely, surges of sharp pain and terror racking his body and a thick black fog crawling around you threateningly, like vultures waiting to devour their dying prey. The karma he was burdened with was a presence lurking perpetually, but on days where it became unbearable, it had him tearing at the seams. 

     "Xiao, I'm here," you whispered softly, running your hand over the tense muscles in his back soothingly. "You're not alone anymore, it's all good now." 

You knew it wasn't, and so did he. His internal battles with his karmic debts were everlasting for as long as he lived, and his immortality rested on his shoulders heavily as a curse. 

But your words also held some truth, something that wasn't just a hollow consolation to offer some empty comfort. He truly wasn't alone anymore, and even though you could do nothing to ease his heavy burden, you could offer him your warmth and love every time his world froze over once more.

     "...'s too much," the adeptus growled, breathing heavily. He was hot and feverish, weak and exhausted. His eyes were dull and tired when he finally looked at you, damp hair sticking to the sheen of sweat on his forehead. 

It wasn't a rare sight to see Xiao like this, but rather a sight you had to witness too often, and you knew you would never get used to it. 

Everyone thought of the vigilant yaksha as cold and emotionless, indifferent and invincible, almost taking his guard over Liyue and its people for granted. Yet here he was, your arms that were around him all that kept him from fully breaking apart in his most vulnerable state. 

     "I know," you agreed quietly, because there was no use in telling him otherwise. These phases were torture in its rawest form, leaving him with a pain that couldn't be described with the words available in the human language. 

     "But remember one thing, Xiao," you continued, brushing some loose strands of hair away from his eyes tenderly. "You are stronger than the darkness, you are better than the darkness. The past is in the past, and the person you have become is a hero loved and appreciated by many. I know you don't believe in your own light, so please let me be your light to guide you through the shadows, okay?"

Words were just words, and you knew that all too well. You couldn't relieve Xiao from his misery, but you still had become his okay when nothing else was okay anymore. He had let you see through his strong facade so quickly, he loved you, needed you, and that alone was enough to grant you the power to save him in his darkest moments. 

His life before you was a mess. Loneliness and sorrow were gnawing at him, the darkness around him weaving a web that seemed impossible to escape from. But he had found his guiding light, his motivation to endure the pain, his reason to fight the demons in his mind and come back even stronger than before. 

It was all you.

     "Y/N," he brought out, slowly letting go of your shirt and draping his arms over your shoulders. He looked at you earnestly, his hazy amber eyes still barely able to focus on you properly. Dried tears had left trails on his cheeks, and you softly reached out to wipe them off. 

He slightly leaned into your touch, his gaze not leaving yours. His body shook when another wave of pain surged through his being, and he furrowed his brows.

     "Y/N, say you love me," he begged hoarsely. 

Oh, he knew you loved him, just like you knew he loved you. But hearing you speak those three words out loud never failed to ignite a spark of hope and warmth in his heart, and not even the strongest peaks in his karmic debt could take that away from him. 

     "Xiao," you started, properly cupping his cheeks this time. "I love you." 

After that you brought him closer, and his crumbling world was whole again when your lips touched his. It was warm, it was safe, and the yaksha finally found it in him to relax. You felt it too, and relief washed over you as you smiled into the kiss. 

You were glad you got to meet the yaksha, on that fateful night many months ago. You were his, he was yours, and together you could conquer the shadows. 

Xiao protected the land of Liyue.

And you protected him. 

:(

(Orig)

May I request Aventurine going through a lot after his girlfriend broke up with him out of fear? He barely eats, he can't sleep, and keeps having dreams if her. One night, he goes to her house and, after a long talk (with lots of tears), they get back together.

A/N : Anonnn why are you so mean to him :((( *proceeds to write a 2,5k words long worth of tormenting Aventurine* also this might turn darker than what you were expecting so please do mind that you shouldn't read it if you don't feel comfortable!

Warning (please read) : I gotta be honest this is pretty fucked up, please MDNI, probably graphic, self loathing, self blaming, insecurity, alcohol, drugs, detailed description of self destruct, obsessive behaviour, psychological trauma, manipulation, slight mindbreak, happy ending

You, leaving him in the middle of such a lovely day surely wasn't in his schedule back then. You came to him that afternoon, eyes swollen and your figure trembling like crazy. He had just finished his paper before he stood up abruptly, heading straight to the door of his office where you stood there unmoving. 

.・゜゜・

“What happened to you, dear?! Let's get you some water-” He was about to bring you out of his office before you quickly shook your head. You held the hem of his fancy coat to prevent him from going anywhere. 

“I have something to say,” He stays right in front of you, his Sigonian eyes focusing on your pitiful state. 

“Let's end it here.” Aventurine cannot believe what he had just heard. 

“End what, to be exact? If it's the movie site subscription you've mentioned last week, then we can upgrade it to-” You throw him a troubled expression, as if unsure of yourself but your speech says otherwise. 

“End this relationship. I can't keep up with you, Aventurine. Whether it is a space I needed or if this whole relationship is just not working, it could be both.”

“Wait- you can't be serious! Let's talk this through,” his confident tone breaks in an instant, his lips quivering. He tried to hold your hand in his, but you pulled it away from him. You whispered a small ‘no’ before turning your body to leave him. 

“Was it me?” you feel horrible for him but it's for the best. You continued your step as he followed right behind you like a lost puppy. 

“Please, you can tell me anything! Is it my wrongdoing? Just tell me- I won't get mad, I can fix it! Look, just stay here for a little longer and let's try to figure something out- is it my gambling addiction? Or I could erase more of my upcoming schedule to spend more time with you- wait, no, is it that you're mad at me for always teasing you? Was it the way I rarely came home on time- am I too overbearing? Do you not like anything from me- point it out to me-” Words poured out of his mouth like waterfall, his head feels heavy and his thought is a jumbled mess. Aventurine tried to recall anything in his memory that might make you sick of him. He tried to make a reason within his coherent thoughts to pinpoint on why you might leave him so suddenly. The man had his own concerns towards how he feels like he isn't doing enough for you. After all, you're his everything. He'd do anything, anything to keep you by his side and he meant it. Aventurine trusted you with his whole life so whatever came out of your mouth, he would do it without any hesitation.

The moment you stopped on your tracks, his mouth immediately went shut. 

“It's not you, Aventurine. It's not your fault and I hope you understand. So please… stop following me, okay?” 

.・゜゜・

Since then Aventurine felt like his whole world had been flipped upside down. He stands right where you told him to stop following you, not moving an inch even after you were long out of sight. His buzzing phone inside his coat didn't move him a bit as if he's a mere wax statue. He can't feel his legs. Or feel anything at all at this point. Only when his assistant came to grab him back on track, he reluctantly left his previous spot. 

Calling him a goner was an understatement. 

This man is beyond salvation. The first few days of your absence were still tolerable as his brain is still digesting your departure. His consciousness thinks that you're still around and he can bump on you anytime. That very small habitual thing kept him at bay for such a short time and by the time he realized that you're not coming back for good, he snapped. 

Aventurine tried his best to keep his work on time, traveling here and there, managing things as usual, but it gets too much real quick. It's his job, isn't it? 

Truthfully speaking, his life was such a mess before you came and you've made him human in every possible way. You were so close, he loved you so much, you loved him so much, every day passed with you was always better than before. Ahh… Aventurine needs to get this stinging wound off his chest if he needs to do anything. He's too scared to call you, or to text you, even. He was sure that the sole reason why you left him was himself. He cannot possibly burden you further, no? You've been so so generous to even spare your heart for him. To shower him with your attention you gave him. Even if you were to strip his wealth off him, he wouldn't think it'll be enough for him to repay your deeds for every system hour you waste on him. 

It was always like this. The moment Aventurine comes home to his supposed shared apartment, he frantically rummages through your closet to grab… anything you've left there. He pulled one of your comfy shirts with care to bury his face in it. He's glad that it still has your lingering scent. How long has it been? One week? Two weeks? He can't even count. He tried to cope so hard without you but he doesn't even have the strength to actually reach out to you in fear of pushing you even further from him. If he's being rational and, as you said before, gave you space, surely there are still chances? 

Aventurine plops himself to his bed, not even caring about changing his clothes. He hugs your clothes close to him while he's inhaling it like his life depends on it. Well, his life might be. Your remaining scent was the only thing that can calm him down to actually sleep. At least even with your usual spot beside him vacant, where he cannot examine your peacefully sleeping face anymore, he still has some part of you left with him. 

So what happens when he doesn't have any more things revolving around him? 

Aventurine tried to find any remaining clothes or items you left to might still have your scent in it only to find none. He bit his own lip, hard. His head is getting dizzy. Maybe he still has those homemade jellies you've made inside his fridge! He brings himself to the kitchen only to find none. Ah, right, when did he last eat a decent meal? He didn't know. He has been savoring the remaining things you've cooked inside the fridge. He often came home late so you've managed to make some meals that'll last some time being frozen or kept. He had been only eating off it when he really, really needed it. When will he actually get a taste of your cooking again? Even as a gambler, he wouldn't dare to guess. 

He groaned in frustration at the fact and fell down to his knees. His head is hammering so bad he feels like he needs to take it off him. 

So what will he do if there's nothing left? 

Aventurine stumbles his way to the cabinet he rarely touches with you around him. A full bottle of vodka could probably help him. He chugged the whole thing carelessly, anything to get him off this lonely feeling. His head felt like it was full of knots which kept him from forming any rational solution. He should start to consume those cheap pills that helped him through his early IPC days. Whatever it is inside it, it helped him through things. Maybe if the dosage isn't enough he could use a more potent one. Anything to keep his brain working. He can’t at least lose his job, right?

To those who have seen Aventurine a lot, they will notice how his form deteriorates so quickly. His skin got paler, eyes unfocused, and his seemingly permanent business smile was barely there. No one is there to actually keep an eye on him. Even his oh so silent bodyguards got concerned about him. They’re probably worrying about their paychecks, but it still counts doesn’t it? Man doesn’t even get to sleep, he just continues drinking and drugging himself until he passes out. The amount of time passed while he’s unconscious should be enough to count as sleep hours. It will be bad if this keeps on, but Aventurine couldn’t worry less. As long as his work is done, right? 

Everyday he looks at his one and only pinned chat. Your contact. There has been no single chat coming from you, so he assumes that you really did leave him for good. You don’t even use any single credit inside the banking app connected to his account. Did you delete it off your phone? You probably did. He knows too well that your presence in his life cannot be bought with any amount of credit possible. Aventurine didn’t want to bother you, he really did, but he has been long past his breaking point. He types on your chat, hands trembling so wildly over such simple text.

“Help me”

—

Everything felt like a blur. The moment you agreed to help him, he flew to your place in an instant. Aventurine knocked your door desperately, only for you to open the door shocked at his miserable state. You pulled him to your couch. No words were exchanged until you came back to him with some water and snacks. 

“I need you back,” His voice shakes, hands too unstable to do anything. He can finally see you again. You shushed him, not wanting him to talk before taking some of the drink you gave him. What happened to him?

“I can’t keep this going- please, tell me what I did wrong, I know I’m not the most flattering lover, but if there’s anything I can do to have you back- I’ll do it” his words are frantic, fat tears threatening to fall from his eyes. You feel like a knife just stabbed you right in your heart. Was it you who made him like this? 

You sit beside him, hugging his trembling form. He quickly reciprocates your gesture, his tears finally spilled as he sobbed at the feeling of your warm embrace. You didn’t know it’ll be this bad.

“You did nothing wrong, my dearest… Aeons, what happened to you?”

“Then why did you leave me…?” It was a complicated story, really. Seeing him in such a pitiful state wouldn’t be a proper time to explain everything. You stroked his back to soothe him, opting to offer him some meal to at least let him recover first. He nodded eagerly at the suggestion. It’ll be a cute sight to see him clinging to you, refusing to leave your side while you walk around the house to prepare him some dinner. If he wasn’t this utterly traumatized. 

You managed to let him eat to the fullest and take some shower while changing to one of your oversized shirts. He looked so happy you couldn’t imagine what happened to him during your absence. You took him to your bed, Aventurine is now nice and clean. 

“So now you’ll tell me?” He asked you, looking so innocent in contrast to the state he came here earlier. You sighed, positioning yourself beside him. 

“I would, but seeing your concerning eyebags, I think it’ll be better if you sleep first?” He thought about it for a moment. You sensed his hesitation so you opened your arms for him. 

“I promise I won’t leave you. You trust me, don’t you?” and that sealed the deal, he jumped right to your embrace. It didn’t take him long to sleep in your arms. 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

The moment he woke up, seventeen hours later, you were sitting next to him while scrolling through your phone. Aventurine couldn’t be more happy. Seeing him now awake and refreshed, you wasted no time to answer his questions. 

Apparently a certain group of IPC executives were giving you misinformation about how he loathed your presence, as if he was forced to keep you beside him, but he was too occupied with work so he couldn’t really do anything about you. They said that it would be better if you initiated the breakup. Your presence had made him less productive, too many unnecessary leaves, and you’re one of the reasons why he always came home late. They said that it was because he doesn’t want to see you so early during nighttime. You wanted to shrug the idea off but they had a point. He always came back late. And they do spend more time with Aventurine than you are. They worked together since you haven’t met him. You wanted to trust Aventurine for not being such a person, but with how you know him, he is great at masking his expression. He can control his appearance as he wishes like an autopilot and you’re sure to think that he could’ve done it to you too. 

Every lie they told you was perfectly tailored to the point you actually believed them. Hence why you looked so bad when you came to his office that afternoon, you were contemplating with yourself as well. The moment you’ve left him, there are no chats from him, which on your side confirms that he is indeed sick of you. You wanted to ask him about how he’s doing but you didn’t want to burden him. You’ve been using his credits for your needs as he asked to, the amount of gifts and dresses he gave you weren’t a laughable amount. You’ve done so little compared to him, and to have people he’s close to shoving the fact that you’ve been nothing but a hassle to him? Not to mention how powerless you are compared to them to actually do something about it. Mind Breaking. 

A long silence enveloped the both of you as you finished your side of the story. It could’ve been prevented by a vocal communication, but he wasn't to blame you for whatever happened. He could feel his rage form at the thought of you, going through such layers of manipulation just for being there beside him. But who is he kidding, of course lots of people would pay a hefty sum of credit to watch his downfall. Now with things clear from your side and his, Aventurine knows where to collect his next debt.

To be honest I am quite surprised that I haven’t receiving any yandere aventurine asks so I might do one myself later <3 If you want to support me please tip me on ko-fi so I can buy noodle packs HEHE, or commission me (I can do any hyv characters! I have other fandoms as well, you can just ask away) and Thank you for reading!

am i the asshole?

"AITA for...?"

a series where tsukishima kei asks reddit users for their opinions on his problems.

warnings: english is not my first language so there may be some mistakes lol, you can read this as a stand alone or as a series, eventual smut????, fluff, angst, aged-up tsukki!

part 1 "AITA for pushing my best friend away?"

part 2 “AITA for asking my girlfriend to be quieter during a practice match?”

part 3 ""AITA for "stealing" photo booth pictures from my girlfriend?"

part 4 "AITA for telling my girlfriend I want to be with her for the rest of my life over the phone?"

part 5 "AITA for saying my 5-year anniverary is just another day, making my girlfriend mad?" “Hey Reddit, an update”

part 6 "AITA for telling my pregnant wife she should start wearing maternity clothes?"

—DOUBT [ alhaitham x reader ]

doubt— what a confusing emotion.

alhaitham x f!reader | wc: 1.8k+

warnings: angsty on alhaitham’s end but overall pretty fluffy, idk what part of my brain this came from, part of a series but can be read as a standalone!

Alhaitham very rarely feels unsure of himself.

With everything he does, he calculates it carefully, weighing the pros and cons, contemplating if the risk is worth it, and finding which action is the most appropriate— he’s consistent with the way he acts and is confident with the measures he takes. All he needs is his brain; if he can logically use the process of elimination, he can logically assess the best course of action for any situation.

Except for when it comes to you.

He walks back from his washroom to the main dining area, only to find you chatting up a storm with Kaveh; you had offered to walk him home from work since the two of you had gotten off at the same time, and he excused himself to freshen up— he assumes that Kaveh got home from his workout just in time to find you at the table.

“Haitham,” You beam at him, waving at him to come over, and he can physically feel his heart soften, “You didn’t tell me that Kaveh was your roommate!”

“It’s not really something I like to tell people.” He mutters, and Kaveh shoots him an offended look before turning back to smile at you. From his angle, he looks like a two-faced weasel. Alhaitham sits down at the table, making a point to sit next to you instead of his roomate.

“He acts like I wanted to be seen here either,” Kaveh grumbles without malice, “Should've told me he had someone over!”

“Kaveh was just telling me about his studies around Gurabad’s Ruin,” you grin at the man sitting next to you, “Kshahrewar sounds so different from Haravatat.”

“In a bad way, I assume.”

“You’re just pissed that Haravatat is just as boring as you are,” Kaveh glares at him, and his eyes flit to you, “Y’know, it’s never too late to switch Darshans! You’d fit right in.”

“I think I’d rather die than go back to study at the Academy,” You raise your hands in innocence, a nervous chuckle playing on your face, “I did my due time.”

“You’re always welcome to join me!” Alhaitham clenches his hand, he swears Kaveh side-eyes him with a smirk on his face and he feels something bubble inside his chest, the bastard is doing this on purpose— “There are tons of runes down there, you’d love it!”

“I would love to, but Gurabad’s Ruin is way too far away,” You shudder, your legs ache just thinking about it, “The trek through the sand sounds like a nightmare.”

“It's also dangerous, stop being so irresponsible, Kaveh.” Alhaitham cuts in rather irritably, “Not everyone has a Vision, you have to think about the rest of society too, the world doesn’t revolve around you and your architecture projects.”

He pauses, feeling the unsettling silence befall the table. Your body is turned towards him, your eyes wide in both wonder and concern— Kaveh has the gall to laugh as if Alhaitham just said the funniest thing in the world, “Who pissed in your cereal, Haitham?” He makes sure to enunciate his name, “Didn’t know Gurabad’s Ruin was a sensitive subject, my bad.”

Alhaitham bites the inside of his cheek to not say anything he know he’ll regret with you there, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. “I should go,” he gets up, the chair squeaking as it scrapes against his floor before his eyes flicker to yours, “Have fun, you two.”

He storms out of his house a hurry, feeling a wave of nausea wrack through his body as he slams the door and makes his way down to the pavement that lines the exterior. His heart clenches when he pauses, turning around against his better judgement— Kaveh always complained that his choice in furniture and decor is ugly, was he right? What would you prefer? He takes a few steps back, his eyes wandering the outside of his home (Could it use flowers? The hanging ones or the ones planted in the ground?) before his front door clicks open and you rush out of his house. You squeak when you realize he's right there, slowing your velocity a little too abruptly, tripping over your robes before you steady yourself right in front of him.

“Hey,” you manage a small smile that clashes your worried expression, “What happened in there? Is everything okay?”

Alhaitham's mind hurts, the question that's been burning in his mind searing fire into his skull, he has to take a deep breath to think clearly.

“I asked you before, why do you like me?”

Your smile freezes, you never thought that question would be the one to come up.

“…Because you’re smart?” You mumble unsurely, your hand fidgeting with your robes. Just as he had asked before, you answered, hadn't you?

“So is the rest of Sumeru.”

“…You’re pretty.”

“That doesn’t really say much, does it? What, am I funny to you too? Is it just the “handsome, funny, and smart” qualities that do it for you?”

“Alhaitham.” You warn him sharply, and he flinches despite how much he wants not to.

“…I just need to know,” he closes his eyes to deal with the ache he feels in both his heart and head, “Rationally, what it is that makes you have romantic feelings for me.”

It was a thought that consumed his mind ever since he and you had gotten involved in that matter, and he feels as if it's eating him alive, tearing into his brain matter. It's not like he's wrong (he knows he's not, not when he's spent so many sleepless nights thinking about it), you really could've chosen anyone your heart desired and they'd be bound to fall for you.

You make enough money on your own (not that you'd ever be the type of person to be after his Mora), your status in the Akademiya is high enough that being in a romantic relationship with him wouldn't raise it all that much, it's not like he's an extremely kind person like Tighnari, he's not humorous like Cyno (at least Cyno tries), and, as much as he hates to admit it, he's not as academically gifted as Kaveh. Honestly and rationally, a small part of him thinks you'd be better off with Kaveh, he's far more outgoing than Alhaitham is, his genius is unparalleled, the two of you have been friends since you were students, you—

“Are you jealous?” Your question is blunt, and Alhaitham can't help but admire you more, even in his distressed state.

He likes this about your relationship, you rarely ever hold back what you're thinking even if it might be against your better interest— it helps him, he thinks, it helps him understand how he's feeling, it helps him understand how you're feeling, surfacing those hidden emotions and social cues he can somehow never seem to get.

“Maybe.” He admits, his eyes shifting to the concrete. He's not sure whether it's jealousy or insecurity, most likely a mix of both, but they're rather similar in his mind, meshing together into doubt.

Doubt— what a confusing emotion. It's a small seed before his mind brushes past it, and he can't help but nurture and grow it, just like all of his other thoughts. Ugly and childish emotions aren't above him, and he's only human afterall, he knows he can't be expected to not be above it despite how often he tries, and yet, it's so incredibly disappointing when he lets it slip through.

“I like you because you're Alhaitham,” you reply with the same amount of confidence you've had this entire time, which is very little, “I'm not sure what to say.”

He gets it, he really does. He likes you romantically the same way, but the difference is that you're you, and he's just him.

“...I think the thing that caught my attention was your lack of ambition.” You admit, in hopes that it'll lift his perpetually unsatisfied expression, “I like people with a lack of ambition.”

It's Alhaitham’s turn to be caught off guard now, his mind wandering to all sorts of places with the new piece of information you so kindly fed him. What did you mean by that?

“Hey, don't be so sullen,” you tease him, mimicking the words he told you a few weeks ago, “Shouldn't you just be happy that we're together like this? You don't have to be a researcher all the time, you can be human too.”

“Researchers are human.” He huffs, one hand reaching to brush his hair from his forehead.

“You sure don't act like it.”

The mood finally lightens, and you step forward, wrapping your arms around his torso and squeezing him gently. He’s about as stiff as a board, and you giggle. “Hug me back, Haitham,” you lean your head on his chest, “You'll feel better, trust me.”

He gingerly follows your order, one arm wrapping around your upper back and the other near your shoulder.

"Just so you know," you close your eyes, "I'd never go for someone who insults Haravatat. In his neverending quest to piss you off, he forgot that Haravatat is my Darshan too."

"Calling me boring is fine but calling Haravatat boring isn't?"

"The difference is that you're actually boring."

He sighs while you laugh, burying your nose into his chest. The sun is low in the sky, yet, he doesn't feel cold.

“Why are you attracted to those without ambition?” He can't help but ask, it's odd, especially for someone of your stature, wouldn't you like someone that shares the same passion as you?

“Sumeru is a dangerous place.” Your voice comes out softer, and he takes into account the recent events with the Fatui— “Powerful people with that sense of ambition are what make it all that more terrifying.”

He thinks back to the betrayal that Khajeh and his actions caused to the entire Darshan of Haravatat, the shock it must’ve been to those who were unaware of the corruption of their sages, and by extension, the government that they not not only part of, but were also upholding. A part of him irrationally regrets being in the heat of the action with Azar and the Traveller instead of being with you, but he supposes the way you sink against his body means that he’s made up for it.

Touching you doesn’t send electric sparks up his spine anymore, no, it pulsates heat and warmth through his entire body, and he pulls you closer to him. His head rests on yours and he lets out a huff of contentment, closing his eyes— it feels far more intimate than anything he’s ever done before, but he feels like he’s never been uncomfortable with you— strange and foreign, maybe, but never uncomfortable.

“Kaveh is staring at us through the doorway,” he mutters lowly as a not-so-sneaky Kaveh ducks behind the frame, “Would you like to go back?”

“Kaveh will be fine,” you smile impishly, “Besides, you’re the only one who can hug me like this, wouldn’t you like to show him that? Just to put your mind to ease?”

Alhaitham doesn’t feel that doubt that plagued his mind anymore, and he feels like he’s breathing in fresh air for the first time. A smile makes it's way onto his face as he realizes that he doesn't care what Kaveh thinks anymore, that your relationship is perfectly stable, and that the front of his house is fine the way it is. He doesn’t mind letting you think the seed of doubt is still there, though, not when your body is willing to mold against him so perfectly.

“Yes, yes I would.”

“he’s breathing in fresh air for the first time” and he’s just sniffing y/n’s perfume like a mad lad 😔 reader's line about ambition is based off of heongyeon from mr. queen!

ALSO good news i just got a computer after being without one for months and i’m typing so fast so we’re def hitting that one oneshot a week goal thank god

We love Aventurine [Reshares are much appreciated <3]

Working late

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