Please Give Me Mona From Genshin Impact

Jason Todd doesn't know how to love softly. He can't. It's just not in his nature. He died trying to save his mom, despite the fact that she gave him up. That's not a quiet act of love. That’s akin to screaming it.

I love you! I love you! I love you! I will die because of it!

And even when he comes back, he still loves loudly. It's just that love and hate are intertwined. He loves so much that it hurts, and he can't stand it. He loves Bruce and the life he had for such little time, that it hurts and he hates it. He loathes it because he shouldn't care, and yet he does. After everything that's happened, he hasn't forgotten it all.

And then there's you, and he doesn't know what to do. He loves you in a way that hurts, but it feels right.

You feel right.

So it all falls naturally into place. He loves you so much that his body is stumbling to keep up with his heart. You look his way, and you send his thoughts running a mile a minute.

He's not screaming, 'I love you!' over rooftops, but he might as well. He opens doors for you and stands on the right side of the road. He fixes that strange whine in your car and stays up all night with you when you have to study. When you come home after a night out, he's holding your hair back while you're bent over the toilet—not saying anything, but he's there, grounding you. When you kiss him, he grapples you closer to him like you might simply vanish. His eyes crease around the corners when he sees you in the kitchen, humming to yourself. He throws his head back with booming laughter because you bring it out of him.

And when he's out for patrol, he's thinking of you, and it's cost him a few times. He glances down at his watch, and he knows exactly what you're doing at 10 PM. He knows your routine just as intimately as the touch of your fingertips against his skin.

He doesn't buy you flowers, because those die, and chocolates are gone within a week. Maybe less.

So, Jason Todd loves loudly in that private sort of way where only you feel it in all of its intensity. But he loves so loudly that it echoes, and those who know him can see it.

Jason Todd loves loudly because it lasts, and it's heard.

You hear it.

“ur overthinking this” bro I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available

got possessed. drew this. bon appetit

dont tag as ship!

Tattoo Artist Simon "Ghost" Riley x Female Reader

A night out in London to celebrate your friend’s upcoming marriage ends with a quick hook-up in a club’s green room. You don’t expect to see your masked man ever again, and you leave it as a one-time thing. Three years later, you’re back in England, and find yourself facing the man you walked away from at that club. He’s running a tattoo parlor just down the street from where you’re staying. Over time, your paths cross and cross again until the two of you are tangled up in a messy web. Will it last? Or will one of you walk away?

Content & Warnings (overall): canon-typical violence, PTSD, canon-typical swearing, suggestive themes, possessive / jealous / obsessive behavior, second chances, grief / mourning, strangers to lovers (graphic chapters will be marked with ** which indicates a Community Label)

Chapters: (ongoing) One // Two ** // Three // Four ** // Five // Six // Seven // Eight ** // Nine // Ten // Eleven ** // Twelve // Thirteen // Fourteen ** // Fifteen ** // Sixteen // Seventeen ** // Eighteen ** // Nineteen // Twenty // Twenty-One // Twenty-Two // Twenty-Three // Twenty-Four // Twenty-Five // Twenty-Six // Twenty-Seven // Twenty-Eight // Twenty-Nine // Thirty

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist

taglist:

@glassgulls @km-ffluv @glitterypirateduck @tiredmetalenthusiast @spicyspicyliving @coffeecaketornado

title banner: created with Canva

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ MasterList ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

WELCOME TO: jellofish-plant's MasterList

hi everyone!

I'm alli and this is my list of my previous and continuing works as of right now.

Guidelines & Rules

Red Hood

Shadows and Smoke || x female reader

one two three four five six

Jason Todd headcanons

A Night In (Jason Todd x reader fluff)

home with you (Jason Todd x reader fluff)

Caught in the Crossfire

Crime Alley's Sweetheart

A Different Kind of Love

Through The Years

The Broken Pieces

Love Languages

Raindrops & Red Hood

Kitchen Chaos

Sleeping In

Headcanons: First Meeting – Red Hood Saves You

Headcanons: First Meeting. Pt 2 – A Familiar stranger

Valentine’s Day with Jason Todd

Jason Todd Valentine's Day Headcanons

Proof of Existence

Leather & Warmth

Focus on You

Rest In Red

Framed in Forever [◉"]

Hold Me First

Sleep-Talk Confessions

Not Letting Go

I thought you were dead...

Just...don't leave me, okay?

You should hate me

Bat Family

Bat Family platonic & relationship Headcanons (Brue Wayne, Richard Grayson, Jason Todd, & Selina Kyle)

Bat Family platonic & relationship headcanons

Silent Watcher (Batman x reader)

Through the Years With You (Nightwing x reader)

DC Characters

Justice League headcanons super man, wonder women, Batman, Green Lantern, The Flash

Rex Splode (Invincible)

Explosive Moments

Explosive Dynamics [Part 1] [Part 2]

welcome, here you can see a selection of all my works related to call of duty and divided into different writing categories so you could pick what interests you. character's that i recently writed about — simon ghost riley, könig, john price, johnny mactavish, kyle garrick, phillip graves.

previous masterlist

DIFFERENT AU WRITINGS ―

𝗭𝗢𝗠𝗕𝗜𝗘 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

╰ 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲

𝗩𝗢𝗜𝗗 𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

╰ 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲

OTHER ―

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗚𝗢𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗗

husband simon ghost riley x wife fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗪𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗘𝗔𝗡𝗦

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

bf simon ghost riley x gn reader

𝗡𝗢𝗡 𝗦𝗘𝗫𝗨𝗔𝗟 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗢𝗕𝗦𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗗 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗣𝗨𝗦𝗦𝗬

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗟𝗘𝗚𝗦

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗜𝗡 𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗔𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗚𝗬𝗠

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗞𝗘𝗘𝗣𝗦 𝗧𝗢𝗨𝗖𝗛𝗬 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡 𝗜𝗡 𝗣𝗨𝗕𝗟𝗜𝗖

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡'𝗦 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗧 𝗗𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗘𝗫

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗚𝗘𝗧𝗦 𝗥𝗜𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗔𝗡𝗬 𝗠𝗘𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗗𝗔𝗧𝗘

friend simon ghost riley x fem reader

𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡'𝗦 𝗧𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗬

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗖𝗨𝗗𝗗𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

bf simon ghost riley x gn reader

𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗛𝗔𝗦 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗞

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗣𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗖𝗛 𝗖𝗥𝗔𝗠𝗣𝗦

bf simon ghost riley x gn reader

𝗪𝗔𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡'𝗦 𝗕𝗘𝗗

simon ghost riley x fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗞𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗟𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨'𝗥𝗘 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗚𝗡𝗔𝗡𝗧

husband simon ghost riley x wife fem reader

𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗕𝗔𝗥𝗜 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗛𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗟𝗘𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗙𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗗𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗦𝗧 𝗦𝗘𝗫 𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗕𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗗

husband simon ghost riley x wife fem reader

𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗛𝗨𝗠𝗣 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗟𝗘𝗚

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗕𝗘𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡'𝗦 𝗟𝗔𝗣 𝗖𝗔𝗧

owner simon ghost riley x hybrid fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗜𝗦 𝗔𝗡 𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗬 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗢 𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙 𝗔 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧

bf simon ghost riley x gn reader

𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗗𝗥𝗨𝗡𝗞

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗕𝗨𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔 𝗚𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗢𝗬 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗜𝗡 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗔𝗟𝗣𝗛𝗔 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗕𝗘𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗠𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗡 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨

alpha mate simon ghost riley x omega mate fem reader

𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦 𝗭𝗢𝗠𝗕𝗜𝗘 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

zombie bf simon ghost riley x gn reader

P LINKS ―

𝗕𝗘𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔 𝗡𝗔𝗨𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗬 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗫 𝗧𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗𝗦 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗨𝗣 𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗬 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗠𝗜𝗗𝗗𝗟𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗡𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗦 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗧𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗗𝗘𝗣𝗟𝗢𝗬𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗔 𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗘 𝗕𝗜𝗧 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

𝗗𝗥𝗬 𝗛𝗨𝗠𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡'𝗦 𝗡𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗖𝗞

bf simon ghost riley x gf fem reader

DIFFERENT AU WRITINGS ―

𝗙𝗔𝗥𝗠𝗘𝗥 𝗞𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗚

╰ 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲

𝗘𝗫𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗟 𝗞𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗚

╰ 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝘄𝗼

OTHER ―

𝗦𝗨𝗕𝗕𝗬 𝗞𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗚

bf könig x gf fem reader

𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗞𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗚

bf könig x gf fem reader

𝗞𝗜𝗗𝗡𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗥 𝗞𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗚 𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗦𝗦

kidnapper könig x fem reader

𝗠𝗔𝗙𝗜𝗔 𝗞𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗚 𝗞𝗜𝗗𝗡𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨

mafia könig x fem civilian reader

𝗞𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗚'𝗦 𝗥𝗨𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗗 𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗦

bf könig x gf fem reader

OTHER ―

𝗝𝗢𝗛𝗡 𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗕𝗘𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡

john price x fem reader

OTHER ―

𝗞𝗬𝗟𝗘 𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗣𝗜𝗖 𝗢𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗔𝗦 𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗟𝗢𝗖𝗞𝗦𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗡

bf kyle garrick x gf fem reader

DR RATIO ANALYSIS

SPOILERS FOR 2.1 CONTENT!

Now, you might be saying - "Aurae, Oh No! and Are You Satisfied? are much too basic songs to analyze Dr. Ratio to! Just because he's a scholar doesn't mean that he has academic trauma!" WRONG! Before we start, I have been researching psychology for approximately six years and I plan to go into it professionally. HOWEVER, that said, I am NOT a professional (YET. One day I will be. Yay for Aurae!) so understand that everything I come to conclusions about has been analyzed with some personal judgement, personal interpretations, and this is just what I have concluded with the info that I have deconstructed from his brain. If you disagree, that's fine!

I will be pulling from my own experiences with being a "golden" and "gifted" child, as well as the experiences I've had speaking to other people who were those. I will also be pulling from my experiences of researching and seeing how people with superiority complexes work, as well as diving into how those work (from what I've seen, as well as how they conceal a lack of self-esteem).

OKAY, NOW THAT THAT LONG AHH DISCLAIMER IS OVER, ALLOW ME TO WORK MY PSYCH ENJOYER MAGIC! Let's deconstruct Dr. Ratio like a lego toy.

Let's start off with how Dr. Ratio presents himself. When you first meet him, he seems like a haughty, arrogant asshole. He likes to PRESENT himself as a stoic, superior scholar who is purely in it to win it, and I got total "*stares down at your tiny body and laughs at how you lack knowledge*" vibes at the very start, due to how he goes around calling people idiots all the time. However, he DOES lose the idgaf war, and we can very quickly see that he does care for other people, even if in his own, strange way. Dr Ratio presentation: An asshole. The reality?

His entire character is based around the idea of helping the masses. He wishes to spread knowledge through the cosmos and give people who didn't have access to it, access. He's a harsh teacher, and calling people 'idiots' is NOT the way to motivate them, but he's doing his best™.

Actually, no, I'm going to go full psych into this. Okay, so here starts the Dr. Ratio and my FATHER COMPARISONS. My father is a professor and he is often called a harsh grader by his students. However, I've spoken to him multiple times because I was curious - why is he so harsh and diligent with his grading system? The answer is - he wants them to actually learn. When he's grading, he gives them harsh marks because he wants them to know exactly where they messed up, and he's always willing to stay after hours to help students understand where they can't. My father also is an enjoyer of knowledge, and for as long as I've remembered, he has prioritized teaching me how to think critically. He wants me to be able to think for myself - and I think that's what Dr. Ratio wants, too. He wants for his students to be able to fully comprehend and absorb the information that he teaches, and although his methods are harsh, he genuinely wants to help. My father's like this too - he hates students that waste his time or aren't here because their hearts are in it. Dr. Ratio hates people who aren't taking their education seriously because knowledge is important. Knowledge is a tool, and to disregard it completely is lowkey kind of insulting - especially when there are people who weren't privileged enough to actually get it, so this isn't something that you should take for granted. Dr. Ratio despises people who take knowledge for granted.

Also, I disagree with the claims that say that Dr. Ratio hates the genius society. He shows open respect for them in his voice lines. Just check them if you need proof. Also, I'll delve into the idea of Aeons and recognition later.

Now that we’ve established that Dr. Ratio kins my dad, let’s let's tackle the 'stoic' allegations. He is LOSING the idgaf war. Like, really badly. He has a temper of a thousand suns and snaps at people frequently, despite his 'impassive' face, his tone holds a LOT of emotion. He seems to feel very deeply and has a shit ton of empathy for others - why else would he be dedicating his entire career to helping others? Of course, he doesn't express this in 'typical' ways of being openly kind - but it doesn't mean that he doesn't care for other people. In fact, he seems to be pretty good at putting himself in the shoes of others and understanding them - expressed in the 2.1 quest where he tells Aventurine to tell him if he can't hold on any longer. Also, he loses the IDGAF war because he is actively trying to help people who want to learn and trying to spread logic and knowledge across the cosmos to those who didn't have it before. Would a man who didn't GAF do that? No!

Now that we've covered his view on knowledge and the way that he presents himself, let's turn to the way that he SEES himself. Now, this is where we get into the nitty gritty of gifted child trauma & academic trauma as well as crippling expectations. It's literally explicitly said in his character stories that he sees himself as mediocre, and it's canon that he doesn't have a good view of himself. His self-esteem is down in the fucking trenches along with my sanity as I write this analysis. The reality is - being called a genius your whole life doesn't really make you feel better about yourself. I'd know. I was. In fact, it makes you feel fucking worse when you can't live up to an expectation. We all fail in life. It's part of being human. But when you're held to such high standards - idolized for your knowledge and the way that you're 'gifted' - the crash comes really fucking hard. Failure is inevitable, and when people who are held on that pedestal experience it, they take it really bad.

The reality is that nobody - not even geniuses - are perfect, but you grow up believing that you are. Then, when you fail for the first time, it all comes tumbling down. The first time I came home with a bad grade was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I hadn't studied because I was arrogant and I thought that I was smart enough to pass without putting any extra effort into it - because I was a 'gifted' child, right? I should've been able to do it without studying like the other kids. And that's the thing with gifted children – you grow reliant on that title. You cling onto it for dear life for motivation, as well as self-perception. Little by little, the person you are falls apart as you slave away to the perception other people have of you. I think basically every gifted child that I've ever spoken to is a victim of this – and of course, you can heal from this mindset - but it's a hard one to shake.

Ratio's way of presenting himself as being a 'genius' and 'arrogant' also seems to contradict the way that he calls himself 'mundane' at the same time. However, these are two mindsets that can coexist. One part of you believes that you are a genius and that you are perfect, while the other part is crumbling and calling yourself good-for-nothing every time you make a mistake. It's a tiring cycle to live in. This usually leads to people shutting themselves out and closing themselves off after living like that, pushing back your own feelings in favour of being the perfect child. However, we don't know the exact details of Dr. Ratio's childhood, but we can infer that he was held to a pedestal, and this is a very harmful mindset for a child to have.

His superiority complex comes both from how other people view him, but it's a way to cope with his crippling lack of self-esteem. I'm sorry my guy. Also helping others probably helps him feel like he's worth something and makes him feel better because he bases his entire worth off of what he can do and how he can help others. However, this is just my personal interpretation backed by what I have already deconstructed. 

In general, this is an easy way to crush self-esteem. You spend your whole life working to meet the image of what other people think you are. In fact, another reason why Dr. Ratio might be so harsh is because that’s the kind of attitude he holds towards himself when conducting research – he’s as hard on himself as he is to others. You end up hating the idea of failure, instead of seeing it as it should be - a way to improve and grow. Actually, I think this could be a reason that he went out of his way to break that illusion of 'worshipping geniuses' in the Space Station. Maybe some sort of childhood connection? Personal connection? In his endeavour to spread more knowledge and make people think for themselves and not blindly follow geniuses, to wake them up and let them think for themselves - maybe, somewhere, in there, he's helping that little child that was almost dehumanized for his intelligence. TLDR: Conflicting mindsets due to trauma, brain vs heart almost - his knowledge that he is a genius vs the crippling lack of his self worth.

Now that we've established Dr. Ratio's self worth, let's take a look at the impact Aeons had on him. Nous, the Aeon of Knowledge itself. I think in a world where the Gods are real, tangible beings that you can reach out and talk to - it makes sense that someone with high ambition and someone who's been called a genius his whole life would seek the confirmation of Nous. When you're a man of knowledge, and you've spent your whole life working with it, being praised for it – it feels natural to look for a god to look down upon you and bless you, right? The Genius Society – it should house him, because he is a genius as well, right? Imagine this – you have been called a genius your whole life, held to that kind of pedestal for so long, and now you wait for the recognition of the Gods. Because if you truly are a genius – then surely, a higher being will recognize your intelligence, right?

The invitation never comes.

And then, comes the doubt.

What if I'm really not a genius? What if everything I've worked for is a lie? Aeons are beings that are 'absolute'. If the god of Knowledge won't accept you or even cast a glance upon you, does that mean that everything was wrong. Gods see more than humans, after all. Gods know more than humans - and that spiral... I think you can see if. (If you don't let me know. I will ramble about how a failure like that can make you spiral down into a worse mindset). 

However, the reason why Ratio was never invited to the Genius Society is simple. It’s because he LOSES THE IDGAF WAR. Now, if we look at all the people we know who are in the Genius Society - we find one thing in common. They’re in it to win it for themselves. They don’t help others using the knowledge that they’ve gotten - they use it to pursue shit for themselves. The people of the Genius Society are inherently self-serving. They WIN the idgaf war. Ratio LOSES. Do we see now? 

Ratio’s empathy is the reason why he wasn’t let in. He is too human. Nous is a computer. Herta is detached from people. Ruan Mei is literally looking at life as test subjects. Screwllum is a robot. 

OUR DOCTOR MAN LOST THE IDGAF WAR, BECAUSE HE IS HUMAN AND FEELS FOR OTHERS!!! 

Also, it’s a plausible theory that Nous’s definition of ‘genius’ is different from the human definition of ‘genius’ – it’s a computer, after all. Who knows what’s going on in that code head of its. 

However, we still love you Ratio. Never stop losing the IDGAF war. 

TLDR: Nous is a computer. It is also in it to win it. It is also self serving. It gazes upon the hoes who are here to win it for themselves. Ratio is busy serving the masses and cooking knowledge in his frying pan. To it, there is no logical reason to be doing this. Therefore, no reason to invite this guy to the Genius Society. 

Ratio’s gifted child trauma says otherwise. He wants in. Why wouldn’t he? He’s been working his whole life as a genius. 

Nous is like… nah bro, you care too much. Ratio is like, ‘what the fuck?’ And then the AEON OF KNOWLEDGE GOES FOR THE MILK. 

Okay, now, quick shoutout to Ratio wanting to help others. He is just like me fr. SO BASICALLY, RECAP OF EVERYTHING I JUST SAID:

Ratio LOSES the idgaf war because he cares about other people. Spent his whole life as the golden egg, and then turns to the gods for recognition because of the inherent trauma of being a child genius. He goes, "hey bro, can you confirm that I am in fact a genius?" and Nous goes, "no, you are too busy cheffing for the masses." Ratio goes, "what the fuck?" and then we collectively realize his attitude comes from blocking off his feelings (while failing miserably), being salty about not being recognized, being put on a pedestal for his whole life, and his crippling depression *cough* lack of self worth *cough*. 

Oh, and the "I will never be enough" thought train probably hits him every single day. He is not enough to be recognized by a God. Gods are superior to humans. Maybe nothing has worth after all. Hey, that's Nihility! Hi IX, let's hear what you have to say.

*muffled ix noises*

I see, I see.

The consensus is: HE'S TRAUMATIZED BY EXPECTATIONS! HE WILL PROBABLY SUFFER FROM BURNT OUT GIFTED CHILD IF HE HAS NOT ALREADY!

Okay, now, before I delve into song lyrics (and I KNOW this has been long, just bear with me) I want to talk a little bit (read: a lot) about his relationship with Aventurine. We all know that he cares about Aventurine in his own way. But I want to pull in another idea that I didn’t cover before: 

Ratio’s fucking emotional constipation. 

Basically, the reason why he has trouble connecting with others is because he was most likely alienated by others as a symptom of being called a genius and being put on a pedestal. This makes him seem unapproachable to his peers, most likely, and therefore, as a result, doesn’t know how to properly connect with others. This just makes his way of presenting affection and care to others even more challenging – because he just doesn’t know how to do it in a healthy and clear way. Academic trauma causing emotional problems, because he’s probably a little bit out of touch with his own. Processing? No! Research. Also, this is very important for understanding Ratio’s character in my opinion, because he’s just a little guy who doesn’t know how to articulate. Maybe he’s got a touch of the ‘tism. Tism mutuals, do we agree or disagree? 

However, in comes Aventurine. Love Aventurine, but they are both emotionally constipated. Aventurine displays his affection in ways that Ratio probably only catches after re-analyzing their time together about five times. He’s also a very closed off individual – but Ratio knows this. A cute thing is that Ratio is patient where he needs to be, even if he’s generally a pretty hot-headed guy, and I’m like… bro… that letter… “I wish you the best of luck”... I will wait for you…. GAY ASS MAN…

Sorry the Aventio demons took over. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that they both have nonverbal communication with one another that they clearly decipher and Ratio obviously cares for him (he came back and almost jeopardized the plan just for the sake of his ‘coworker’... okay gayboy…) and they just have such a neat little dynamic… Aventurine lets Dr. Ratio do his thing… understands his emotional alienation to a degree…. they’re so neat….

Okay, Aventurine segment over. NOW, FINALLY, WE CAN GET TO THE SONG LYRICS!!! YAY!!!! We all cheered!!!

We are going to be here for two more amber eras, because I realized I actually want to analyze every single lyric from both of these songs. Brace yourself for like, 2k more words. Help. 

I think it’s only proper that we start off with ‘Oh No!’ the song that has haunted me since my childhood.

“Don’t do love, don’t do friends

I’m only after success

Don’t need a relationship

I’ll never soften my grip”

Remember when I mentioned that alienation was a big part of Ratio lore? Yeah, that manifests itself in this. When you spend your entire life chasing after knowledge and being held to that standard of untouchable genius, it makes sense that you couldn’t connect with others and that you turn your gaze only to success. Therefore, relationships that are interpersonal lose meaning for a bit – you’re just looking for answers and ways to help them, not connect with them. Also, this is what he wants to do – so he’s never going to pass down an opportunity to better himself or to help someone else. 

“Don’t want cash, don’t want card

Want it fast, want it hard 

Don’t need money, don’t need fame

I just want to make a change

I just wanna change, I just wanna change” 

This is directly alluding to his reasonings for distributing knowledge across the cosmos. Was he based on this song? Maybe he was. He’s not looking for money or fame, his ultimate goal is actually pretty selfless – to bring knowledge and give people the tools they need to think for themselves. He just wants to make a change – he just wants people to be able to have access to knowledge and help cure ‘stupidity’. He wants to do it as quickly as possible, always reaching for lofty goals that might seem impossible, but he will make them possible. 

“I know exactly what I want and who I want to be

I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine

I’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy

Oh! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, oh!” 

Ratio knows his goal. He knows what he’s working towards. I do believe that he understands why he is the way that he is – he has a degree in Psychology, after all. He knows how he’s been hurt but at the same time, the trauma brain probably doesn’t want to recognize it and he hasn’t stepped into healing yet. He knows what he went through impacted him, but he’s too busy helping others to help himself. He’s becoming what he wants to be, and yet he’s not, all at the same time – which causes the idea of “oh no!” as a kind of cry for help, almost. He’s too proud to ask for it himself, of course, so he’ll fall alone until someone manages to catch him and give him the strength to continue holding on. Aventurine is that. 

“One track mind, one track heart

If I fail, I’ll fall apart

Maybe it is all a test

‘Cause I feel like I’m the worst

So I always act like I’m the best” 

Now, these are the exact lyrics that made me associate this song with Ratio in the first place. He’s got a singular goal that he will do nothing to stop at getting, that he goes so far to get to. However, as I mentioned earlier, failure is not an option for those who were deemed gifted or genius. You are perfect, so therefore you must live up to everyone’s every expectation and surpass them, too, in order to keep your perception of yourself intact. Ratio does not hold himself in high regard, but acts arrogant in order to hold himself together and not fall to the self-deprecating thoughts, even if they fall through the cracks. It gets tiring to hold yourself together like that for a long time, you know? 

“I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly

I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die

I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly

I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die” 

Remember how I was talking about contradictory mindsets and how they can coexist. This is them. The feeling of crippling self-hatred and lack of self esteem versus the idea that you can do it, you can make a difference – you were born a genius, this is what you’re going to do. This is the knowledge that you are a genius vs the lack of self-esteem that Ratio has. “Mediocre” vs “genius” mindset, eh? 

All the other lyrics in this song are repetitions of what I’ve analyzed before, so let’s move onto “Are you Satisfied?” 

To be honest, there are only a few lines in this song that allow me to connect it to Ratio, so therefore, I will only be analyzing them. However, if you think that other lyrics can connect to him, I’d be interested in knowing how. 

“What you’re gonna be 

It’s not my problem if you don’t see what I see

And I do not give a damn if you don’t believe

My problem, it’s my problem that I never am happy

It’s my problem, it’s my problem on how fast I will succeed”

Pretending to not care about how the world sees you is so fucking real. Sometimes, you really don’t give a shit, and sometimes it’s all you can think about. Ratio… doesn’t seem like he’s the happiest person. He works himself hard and he’s always chasing after a goal that must be exhausting. He’s always doing his best, and I think even with his empathy, it’s easy to start not giving a shit after trying for so long and so hard. Accepting help is one of the hardest things that anybody can do, especially with how much pride he has. His personal problems are his personal problems and he can deal with them on his own. 

“High achiever, don’t you see? 

Baby, nothing comes for free

They say I’m a control freak

Driven by a greed to succeed

Nobody can stop me” 

Nothing comes for free. A lot of the things Ratio has achieved is due to his own intelligence, yes, but also because of a shit ton of hard work. His goal is literally to cure the universe of ‘stupidity’ – and that’s a pretty large fucking goal. He is a high achiever who likes to know the details of every situation when he can in order to try and make things better, and he is driven by a greed to succeed. Why wouldn’t he be? Success is important, and success means helping more people. He isn’t going to allow himself to be stopped by anybody – not even anybody from the Genius society. 

Okay, and we have finally reached the end of my analysis! This caps at around 4k words, so if you stuck around for this long, thank you so much. I would love to hear any of your comments, and I hope you laughed a little bit. Thank you again! This means so much to me that you read. <3

How about a little argument and make up with Gaz 👀 He crosses a line and blurts out something he shouldn't have? I'm a sucker for hurt/comfort, thanks! Congrats on 5k!! 💕💕

—Didn't Mean It

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ

╰┈➤ ❝ [Arguments are rare, certainly ones that leave you in tears.] ❞

You ended up locking yourself in the bedroom to have some time to yourself, head under the covers and your eyes burning from the tears you’d shed over the course of hours. It had to be well into the night now—maybe even into tomorrow if you bothered to think realistically. 

An argument with your boyfriend was practically unheard of, certainly one that left you tearing up and your hands shaky. Your heart hurting. 

Kyle had gotten back from his deployment a week early just yesterday, and you had immediately known something was wrong. He was having a harder time re-adjusting to civilian life—was more curt in his answers to your questions even if you were just trying to understand how to make him feel better. The entire day had been spent with him blankly staring at the telly, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. 

The fight had started about, of all things, the duffel bag of his belongings that you’d brought into the laundry room. You can’t remember most of it, but you remembered enough. 

“Gaz,” you level. “It’s a duffel bag. I just need it out of the walkway so I don’t trip over it.”

The man scoffs, but he can’t look at you. 

“What, you expecting someone over?” Your face wrinkles, head pulling a bit back like your neck was on a string. 

“...Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” His brown eyes turn to you, burning as his hands twitch. “Having someone come over when I’m not around, yeah? Giving me a run-around?” 

For a moment you’re utterly silent, not blinking as you stare at him in shock. When you gather your senses, you force out through a tight throat. “Garrick, I suggest you be careful with what you’re saying to me. You need to sit down and think rationally—it’s just a bag, this is ridiculous. Why in the world would I ever do something like that to you?”

His jaw clenches. 

“I don’t need to bloody sit down!” Kyle snaps, head turning away with a bit of panic in his eyes. It became apparent pretty quickly that he wasn’t in the right headspace and he knew it. “I need to know if you’ve been fucking someone else!” 

Your body tenses, eyes snapping wide. A swift silence falls between the two of you as your mouth gapes at Gaz. As if just realizing what he’d said, the man puts a hand on the back of his head and steps back, lips opening and closing. 

“W-wait, I didn’t…I didn’t mean it like that, Love. I…” You’re already walking away, hands at your sides clenched and tears stinging the back of your eyes like knives. 

So here you were, lying on the bed and breathing low—eyes half closed as Gaz’s shadow doesn't leave from under the door. He’d been there the whole time, sitting on the floor across the hall. Waiting. On occasion he’d speak; talk about how the deployment went. 

You only really listened in the dim shadows when he offered an explanation for his attitude. 

“I…” His voice is muffled, but it’s still Kyle. “I held a kid as he died, Love.” You’re fully awake in an instant, eyes stuck to the dark wood. “I watched…I just fucking watched, and I couldn’t do a damn thing. I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to take it out on you—I…Bloody Hell, I’m sorry, Sweetheart, I didn’t mean it. Fuck I didn’t mean it.” 

The man is getting choked up, his words jumbling together as a deep pain grows over the airways. Your hand is on the handle of the door before you can remember your anger, opening it and darting across the small distance. You collide with his firm chest as the first of his sobs break out of his chest, his hands shakily curling around your back as you pull him up. 

“I’m sorry,” he utters, broken, as his head shoves itself into your neck. “I’m sorry.” Again, again, again. 

You hold him and he grasps onto you like a lifeboat, both unsure. Forcing down your own tears, you put a hand on his back and rub it up and down, whispering to him. 

“Shh, Kyle,” he sobs, shaking. “Hey, it’s alright—I know you didn’t mean it, Love. I know.”

“Isn’t an excuse,” the man mutters into your skin, your shirt sticking to your flesh. “Shouldn’t have said that to you. I don’t even know why I did—don’t even believe it; you’d never do that.” 

“No,” you whisper, reassuring him. “No, I wouldn’t.” 

Pulling back, you grab onto his cheeks and level his leaking eyes with yours, wiping with your thumbs at his cheeks; brushing over the scars on his left under-eye. He sags and tries to give you a wobbly smile. A second later you speak.

“You’re stuck with me, Kyle Garrick. For all of it,” you say firmly—hard. And you say it again, and will until he believes it. “For all of it.”

The both of you stay there for a long time until your foreheads collapse into each other and you finally see the honest flicker of his lips again. You share a small, knowing, look. 

“For all of it,” he utters, and slots his lips to yours; whispering apologies in between every kiss as he drags you impossibly closer.

Erm.. I know Kyle Garrick would be the type of guy to purposely look for a sweet introvert to wife up, one who values her personal space and time so she can handle when he leaves for deployment.

Loves his team and his captain too much to leave them behind so soon, but doesn’t want to have the thought on his mind that he’s causing his partner distress :(

So an introvert who knows how to keep herself busy and loves her time alone as much as she loves her time with him is absolutely perfect.

And it lowkey makes him extra clingy, kinda likes how he has to beg for your attention sometimes :(

Makes him so hard and needy, kissing up all over you while you stay focused on whatever it is you’re doing. Whether it’s knitting, reading a book, painting, he’s up on you trying to get you to focus on him. When nothing works he finds himself grinding against your leg, whining about how he’s not gonna be on leave for much longer, just look at him, give him a kiss, something :((

Ends up cumming in his pants the second you send a quick glance his way, a small smirk on your lips.

“Just look at what you do to me, baby… fuuckk..”

Note- idk what it is but something about a guy purposely picking a partner who’s an introvert who loves their alone time and space and then he just grows into a needy pathetic thing that just revels in any attention their partner gives them. Absolutely delicious 🤤

how about Jason with the prompt "text me when you get home"? the one time they forget/fall asleep before sending the text and Jay loses hid mind. rushes over expecting them to be dead but they passed out on the couch as soon as they got home

really superbly SCRUMPTIOUS prompt Aud. I love protective jaybird 🥰‼️ thanks for sending something in 🫶

jason todd x gn!reader. worried protective snuggly jason. no warnings really, ya boy is just paranoid and madly in love with you 💓

request something! I rb all fics to @sanguinelibrary

****

As soon as you get out of your last class of the day, your phone rings.

You answer it, wedging the phone between your ear and shoulder as you fish in your bag for a couple of bills. You're already walking to the train station.

"Hi, snookie bear," you say into the phone, slightly delirious with hunger and sleep deprivation.

Jason snorts on the other end. "That's a new one. Hey, baby. Y'heading home?"

"Indeed I am."

"Need a ride?"

You wait and listen. Eventually, you hear the sounds of hitting and grunting in the background. You roll your eyes—only Jason would be in the middle of a fight and then ask if you need a ride home.

"No, I'm okay. It's not dark yet. Plus you sound busy."

"I'm never too busy for you," he says immediately. "And it's gonna get dark in an hour. Are you sure—"

"Yes, Jay," you say gently. "I'm sure. Don't worry about me. I'm going straight home."

You're already at the station. There's a good amount of people, students and workers alike. The university is in a relatively okay part of town, especially during the day. You're not worried. It's not like you traipse through Crime Alley on your downtime.

"Okay." Jason takes a deep breath. "Just—just be careful. Text me when you get home."

You note the hint of worry in his tone. Maybe this week has been particularly saturated with crime. Jason tends to get a little overbearing about your safety when he's had a tough week. You know he had go down to Blüdhaven and help his brother—with what specifically, you don't know.

Most of the time, you're sure you don't want to know.

"I always do," you say. The train pulls up to the station. "Ooh, train's here! I'll talk to you later. I'm thinking of ordering takeout. Too tired to cook."

"Okay, sweetheart. Be safe. Love you. Lock your door."

You roll your eyes fondly. "Yes, Jay. Love you too. Bye."

You hang up as you step onto the train. You pull your headphones out of your bag and shut your brain off during the ride. By the time you get off the train, you've lost hope that you'll be doing any work tonight. You're absolutely wiped out after three back-to-back classes.

It's still light when you get home. You lock the door after you get in, the habit ingrained into you, and dump your bag onto the couch.

Takeout is a no-go. You're hungry now and about thirty seconds away from passing out on the couch.

You change into your home clothes, eat a granola bar, and call it a day. You'll eat more later.

You turn off your phone to bar any annoying notifications and fall into bed, eyes closing immediately.

****

The sound of your deadbolt being teared off its chain wakes you up. You flinch and jump awake, trying to blink through sleep. Your mouth is dry from how hard you slept, and your eyesight is slightly blurry from the sudden flood of moisture.

Your bedroom door swings open, and suddenly you're pulled into warm, heavily muscled arms. You hug back on instinct; you'd know the feel of your boyfriend anywhere.

"Jay, h—"

"You didn't text," he says, voice shaking. "You said you would. I was—I thought you were—"

You tense, guilt knocking into you.

"Shit. Jason, I'm so sorry. I meant to, I was just so tired..."

Jason pulls back to look at you, hands still on your shoulders. His expression is stern.

"I'm gonna pick you up from now on. When are your late days?"

"Jay, no, GCU is across town. You can't possibly pick me up three days a week. That's too much! What about patrol?"

"Somebody else is out at this time," he says stonily. "Crime Alley can wait an hour while I get you home."

His eyes blaze green, a side effect of the Pit. You can tell he's putting every effort into keeping a lid on the worry and fear and anger over your silence.

"Jason." You cup his face. "Honey, I'm safe. I'm sorry I didn't text you. I'm sorry I worried you. But your adrenaline is spiked right now, Jay. Everything feels magnified. I don't need to be picked up. I was perfectly safe coming home. Okay?"

He shakes his head, holding your wrists. "Anything could've happened. I was so—fuck, baby, I was so scared. I-I checked the station footage and the traffic cams, and I didn't see you after you cut through the park, and I thought—I was sure you'd—"

Jason pulls your arms around his neck and buries his face into your shoulder. He supports you by the backs of your thighs, tugging you into his lap. Then he clings tight.

"Oh, Jay," you murmur, petting his curls. "I'm alright. This end of Gotham isn't so bad. And I know you'd have found me even if something had happened. But nothing did."

"Can't lose you," he chokes out.

"You won't lose me, honey," you say. "You keep me safe."

He trembles in your embrace. You kiss the shell of his ear and continue to pet his hair.

"Let me pick you up tomorrow, at least," he pleads. "We'll get dumplings at that place you like. You barely ate anything when you came home."

"Okay, Jay," you say, because you know he needs that reassurance. He won't relax without it. "That sounds good."

You keep stroking his hair. "Y'wanna order in now?"

"In a minute."

Jason lays you both down on the bed. He throws a leg over yours and pulls you into his chest. It's now that you see just how much tension is locked in his shoulders. He's exhausted.

"Jus' wanna hold you for a bit," he says, lips resting on your shoulder.

He's drowsy, the adrenaline finally ebbing. You close your eyes and snuggle into his arms.

"You can hold me for as long as you want," you say, threading your fingers with his. "I'm not going anywhere."