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I’m Shrek

Let me explain.  

After researching the meaning of my name, I have decided to adopt a talking donkey and live in a run down hut in a swamp.

My first name Jamie means “To overthrow” in Hebrew.

My last name Horton means “mudtown” in olde English.

My name literally means to take over a swamp.  

I am Shrek.  Fear me.

Also my middle name means to be devoted to Bacchus.  They are frickin white grapes.  They are green like my inner spirit.  

type “i am” in the tags and whatever comes up first is your new mandatory kin

Love, Simon post (****SPOILERS****)

Okay so I recently watched Love, Simon and let me tell you: I needed this.  All people of the LGBTQPIA+ community needed this.  Watching this felt kind of cheesy in the beginning, but when I got to the coming out to Abby, I cried.  Hardcore bawling.  It didn’t help when douchebag Martin told literally fucking everybody.  The part when he is throwing pillows and screaming into them hit so close to home.  I remember being up at 3 am crying because I was having feelings about girls.  I remember coming out to my mom over text because I was so scared of her reaction.  His mom reacted the same way mine did.  Kind of.  But at the carnival thing when Martin “monkey’s asshole” Addison told Simon that he was blue i was screaming.  At the screen. In Anger.  That is a new low for anyone.  That is such a shitty thing to do. Even for him.  But when he and Bram kissed on the ferriswheel, I was in hysterics.  Like ugly crying in my seat.  And then they got 5 coffees. 2 with milk i was crying even more.  Like that is the movie we need.  I loved it so much that I’m going to take my mom to see it hopefully.  And to those douche nozzles who say “do they need it?” Fuck you. I did need this, we all needed this.  Do YOU need that hallmark movie with literally the same plot as every other fucking one?  Do YOU need another 50 shades sequel?  No you don’t because you aren’t judged for the people you love.  And to those who say that Nick Robinson is straight and it’s false advertising: Keiynan Lonsdale Is very much not straight and Nick’s brother came out because of the movie.  If anything, Nick did it for his brother not to tarnish the name of the gays.

That’s just my two cents.

fash

Hey mutuals I’m tired of waiting for @staff to give us a group chat option so let’s start a chat right here, right now.

Jake being the extra dad and going to every one of Maya's ballet recitals and being the loudest clapper, purely because his dad wasn't there for him. He is always hanging her artwork on the fridge to the point he and Amy have bought 32 sets of magnets to hang them all. He makes sure every. single. night. that there are no monsters in her closet or under her bed and proceeds to use his police grade flashlight to interrogate the "monsters" in there. [1/3]

He always has tea parties and dresses up with the tiara. When Maya is feeling sick or sad he invites her into his bed and they watch die hard on repeat until either one is asleep (we all know it’s her fave too). and they eat ice cream together when she has her first heartbreak. and whenever she has boy troubles when she is older, he tells her about his first date with Amy. and how he knew they were going to get married and how he loved Maya so much. And he definitely cried at her wedding [2/2]

HE’S REALLY GOING TO BE THE BEST DAD THAT AMY AND THEIR KIDS COULD POSSIBLY ASK FOR WOW

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It’ll mean a lot to my friend, who’s having a tough time with bullies lately.

Larry the Cat, the government-appointed Chief Mouser of Downing Street, has now outlasted 4 UK Prime Ministers and one monarch.