Help?

How Tom really ended up in the toilet:

Ginny writing in her diary: Harry Potter is so dreamy! He said hi to me this morning!

Tom: and then?

Ginny: he headed off to class.

Tom: and then?

Ginny: I went to class too.

Tom: and then?

Ginny: and then I saw him in the hall later, we waved.

Tom: and then?

Ginny: and then nothing, nothing else happened

Tom: annnddd then?

Ginny: NOTHING

Tom: and then?!

Ginny: no, no more and then!

Tom: and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

Ginny: That's it! *shoves diary down toilet*

if any of you actually watched the trial you wouldn’t be thinking this way or saying these things. it was proven in court that she doctored images and falsified evidence. she called paparazzi and faked a bruise that was nowhere to be seen the day before or after the shot was taken.

i’m not defending either of them because they were both abusive, physically and verbally, but johnny was the only one to come out of the relationship with actual injuries that were documented by medical professionals.

this was basically a case of a nobody thinking she could get rich off of a very famous man by lying and saying he’s a wife beater. all of his former girlfriends said he was nothing but respectful. amber was just dragging this out for as long as she possibly could. and she still hasn’t paid anybody yet

I’m Shrek

Let me explain.  

After researching the meaning of my name, I have decided to adopt a talking donkey and live in a run down hut in a swamp.

My first name Jamie means “To overthrow” in Hebrew.

My last name Horton means “mudtown” in olde English.

My name literally means to take over a swamp.  

I am Shrek.  Fear me.

Also my middle name means to be devoted to Bacchus.  They are frickin white grapes.  They are green like my inner spirit.  

mom, ive decided to become a vegan

If you don’t have supportive parents, I’ll be your mom

reblog this if you want anonymous opinions of you

Shakespearean version of “two bros chillin in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cos theyre not gay”

Two fair men lie in water warm and slow,

As brothers are they joinēd heart to heart;

But Cupid hath not struck them with his bow;

Lest that be thought, they sit five feet apart.

when you see a dog across the street but you know that your therapist would be mad if you acted on impulse so you just stare at it wishing to touch it

What’s the story behind this screencap? Reblog with your #screencaptions and we’ll be sharing them as we venture through the Fold to the Shadow & Bone premiere day on April 23rd. 

Amy and Jake getting off work and picking up their kids for a play date with Cagney and Lacey and Ava and Nikolaj and Enigma. Imagine how awesome it's gonna be to have all the 99 kids together and playing with each other. While the kids play, the detectives and Gina talk about how much they've missed getting together after work and how much better it is to do with the babies.

THERE’S GONNA BE SO MANY GODDAMN KIDDOS WE LOVE A PROCREATING SQUAD