Latest Posts by helvetica-upstart - Page 3

by helvetica_upstart

“Would you have picked me up in a bar, if I’d been there back when you were looking for randoms?” Patrick asks, pupils blown wide. “I’ve never done that before, I don’t even know what it would be like, but. I can imagine. I’d want it.”

or, David has some idle talents; Patrick has some fantasies that would put them to use.

Words: 4581, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Schitt’s Creek

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Patrick Brewer, David Rose

Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose

Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Roleplay, Dirty Talk, Making Out, Frottage, Oral Sex, SO FLUFFY, post Singles Week

is this what marriage is? a david/patrick fic rec masterlist

so these dumb gays dragged me kicking and screaming back to fandom so you know what that means? it means fic rec masterlists, my favorite ever activity.

what you’ll find here: happy gays, sexy gays, soft gays, disaster gays, sports gays, not sports gays, supporting gays, cuddly gays, panicking gays, business major gays, non-business major gays, married gays, engaged gays, dating gays. look i could go on but you’re familiar with david and patrick. unfortunately these are all from ao3 because we don’t have a unified tag for fics. but check out my fic recs tag for things i reblog.

what you won’t find here: STRAIGHTS (jk there might be some straights, but only valid ones like johnny/moira and alexis/ted and stevie who’s actually a lesbian but only in my head), every fic i’ve read that i’ve liked (look i’m only human. i’m a disaster. i can’t read every single d/p fic. ok maybe i can and maybe i have but that doesn’t mean i can put them all on this list! then you’d just have ao3.)

so, and this is important, there are fics that will be missing from this list. it’s not comprehensive. there will be fics i loved that i accidentally left off. please don’t be mad. i’m only human. i’m fallible. thus, i take no responsibility for the fics i forget (i’m kidding, i absolutely do). there are also fics that i’m going to continuously add so that’s fun. if you have any suggestions or you really want to let me know about your favorite fic, come into my inbox and i’ll add it!

a note about categories: some of these fics overlap categories and i actually had a tough time choosing them. most of the “angst” is not all that angsty, just more serious topics. i tried to divide one-shots into more traditional “one-shots” and longer, more plot-based one-shots. it just means they’re a little more developed than maybe something that takes place in one night, or is a specific moment in their relationship. there’s a category for all-time favorites and must-reads, but honorable mentions will be italicized. fics with smut are noted with two stars like so **

want another category? make your own list. or like drop into my inbox and ask bc i’m a pushover and if you ask nice enough i’ll do what you want.

updated as of april 19, 2019

Keep reading

holy schitt it’s a fic rec

for anyone and everyone (but @im-here-sammy​ the most)

—The Boy Who Doesn’t Exist by falconeggs

To ensure that Patrick never falls in love, he thinks up an impossible boy and casts a spell to tie their destinies together. He doesn’t exactly know that, though, because he’s just a kid when he does it.

—Tonight I’ll Drift In A Dream With You by torakowalski

“Patrick is sleeping,” Alexis says helpfully. “I’m not really sure what David is doing, but earlier he was just sort of smiling dopily at the top of Patrick’s head. It was really gross.”

—In Tea Leaves by taelynhawker

It isn’t just about the tea. Or wanting it to be perfect. It is about those things, but David might also be freaking out a little bit about what he just said to Patrick. Maybe he just needs to see that what he told Ted is true. Sometimes it does work out.

—One Week by lettered @letteredlettered

Every day of the first week of David and Patrick’s relationship.

—All the Things You are to Me by hudders-and-hiddles @wild-aloof-rebel

After accidentally calling David “babe,” Patrick spends weeks trying to find the perfect pet name for him.

—Memorial Weekend by another_hero 

David shook his head again, brought his hands up to his face. “I know, I know, okay, but you,” he said, “are easy to love. And I—” Patrick opened his mouth, but David fluttered a hand in front of him for silence.

Keep reading

Scholastic Books, 1996

K.A. Applegate: “Here’s my draft of a new sci-fi novel series for kids. :)”

The head of Scholastic: “Oh, they become animals! That’s marketable! They meet an alien, and he’s...eaten by...hear the screams...um, this has, uh, a bit more genocide than I expec-”

K.A. Applegate: *roundhouse kicking them in the face* “WAR IS HELL”

in which Marco is out here asking the real questions, and nobody appreciates it.

I wrote something!!!

every animorphs book

chapter 1: my name is jake. I can’t tell you my real name, because I’m the leader of a special group of kids… we’re called the Animorphs. Because we morph into animals and fight aliens.

chapter 16: ‘god, please don’t do this,’ i begged on my knees. Visser Three had all of my loved ones hanging from his claws in his multi-armed alien morph and was slowly squeezing the life out of them. ‘you must either choose them, jake, or the rest of your planet.’ i couldn’t take it. i started to morph into a cockroach.

chapter 23: as i felt my own brain slither down my throat and into my torso to reform into my digestive system, my bones also began to dissolve into dust inside my skin. my eyes shrunk back into my skull and i could see into eternity- i could see my own mind, taken over by the yeerk. i had already taken my last breath as a free creature, now i saw my last vision as a being of this dimension. suddenly, i was gone. and my parents would never even know i had died. was saving the world worth this? i wondered, if anyone on this planet could be forced to prioritize one life over another, what choice would they make? how can any decision be right, or wrong? i closed my mind off, and fell into eternal sleep, my last echoes of thought being of how humanity continued to live on, but not truly alive.

chapter 26: ‘hey, bro, wanna go to mc d’s and grab some fries?’ marco asked, riding by on his skateboard. ‘yeah, that’d be totally radical!’ i answered, whipping out my own razor scooter. as i pulled a nasty kickflip, i felt eyes watching me. turning around, i saw my own dog, and thought of the horrible truth only i knew. we went to the mall to get big macs. it was a good day to not be dead.