Hello-i-am-insane - Slightly Dying

If musquitoes sucked fat instead of blood, life would be so much better.

I could watch this forever

(via)

You were enough yesterday.

You are enough today.

You will be enough tomorrow.

(source)

can't wait to become an ancient witch that resides in the deep wilderness, feeding myself on berries, wine and the tales the village people tell of me

Can someone magnify their size too I wanna touch them.

Tom Lucitor is my baby and he deserves nothing but happiness

[Image ID: A Facebook post. The original poster’s name and icon have been redacted. The post reads:

Some times I get tired of being the “nice disabled person”. ‘curb cutouts make things much easier for moms with strollers.’ I don’t care. Mobility impaired people literally can’t get off the sidewalk without them. ‘Captions are great for kids who are learning to read.’ Yeah, and they are also a necessity for deaf people. here’s my hot take. Disabled people should not have to frame accessibility in a way that helps abled people to get the accommodations they need to live a decent life. /end ID]

wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

hozier singing about bones, dead bodies, preys, predators, decomposing, satanic sacrifice, anal sex:

me and the girls: