Wanna Hear A Wild Story? My Brother’s History Professor Is Closing In On 80 And Basically Lives At

wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

what if ...i don't know...

we cuddled in a swamp

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hello-i-am-insane

5 years ago

My FAVORITE THING is researchers who wholeheartedly embrace the Ms. Frizzle aesthetic and wear their field of study on their literal sleeve. Everyone in the invasive crayfish consortium has tiny lobster-print shorts or socks. All the middle-aged dad scientists here at the lab have shirts with fish and/or fishing tackle patterns on them. My moss specimen and ammonite earrings keep getting noticed by women who are wearing silver fishbone-shaped or native plant-themed earrings themselves. Every single person on the outreach team has at least one shirt with an anchor pattern on it from Old Navy, and almost all the younger researchers have tattoos featuring their research interests – one fisheries biologist has a half-sleeve of native species she literally uses as an outreach tool. We are self-aware and having a blast with it, honestly.

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hello-i-am-insane

7 years ago

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hello-i-am-insane

5 years ago

Gonna be my ocean nerd self

Masterpost of Free Seafaring Literature & Theory (Gothic Literature) (Romantic Literature)

Pre-1600s The Argonautica by Rhodius Apollonius The Odyssey by Homer The Seafarer The Libelle Of Englyshe Polycye Sir Mortimer by Mary Johnston Westward Ho! by Charles Kingsley The Sea-Hawk by Rafael Sabatini 1600s The Life and Adventures of Robinson Crusoe & A General History of the Pyrates by Daniel Defoe Captain Blood by Rafael Sabatini

1700s Fanny Campbell, The Female Pirate Captain: A Tale of The Revolution by Maturin Murray Ballou Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage by Baron George Gordon Byron The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge The Boats of the “Glen Carrig” by William Hope Hodgson The Pirate by Walter Scott Frankenstein; Or, The Modern Prometheus by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley Treasure Island & Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson Gulliver’s Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World by Jonathan Swift

1800s The Lighthouse by R. M. Ballantyne The Pathfinder, Or The Inland Sea; The Pilot; The Two Admirals & Afloat ad Ashore by James Fenimore Cooper Toilers of the Sea by Victor Hugo Captains Courageous by Rudyard Kipling The Sea-Wolf by Jack London The King’s Own; The Phantom Ship; Mr. Midshipman Easy & Poor Jack by Frederick Marryat Moby-Dick by Herman Melville The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket by Edgar Allan Poe The Wreck of the Grosvenor & An Ocean Tragedy by William Clark Russell Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea by Jules Verne

1900s The Shadow Line: A Confession & Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad The Riddle of the Sands by Erskine Childers Great Sea Stories, ed. Joseph Lewis French (anthology)

Non-Fiction Under the Southern Cross by Maturin Murray Ballou A Voyage to the South Sea & Mutiny on the Bounty by William Bligh Two Years Before the Mast by Richard Henry Dana White Jacket; Or, The World on a Man-of-War by Herman Melville Pincher Martin, O.D.: A Story of the Inner Life of the Royal Navy by H. Taprell Dorling

Academic Theory A topographical approach to re-reading books about Islands in digital literary spaces by J. R. Carpenter (Dis)Integrating Visions: South and Imperial/Colonial Difference in Dickens and Conrad by Luigi Cazzato The narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket: Psychological introspection in A Maritime Journey by Justine Shu-Ting Kao “What if Icarus Hadn’t Hurtled into the Sea?” Some Remarks towards a Theory of Historical Narratology by Martin Klepper Religious Pluralism in Yann Martel’s Life of Pi: A Case of Intertextual Correspondence with Swami Vivekananda’s Religious Philosophy by John Kuriakose The Rebirth of the Musical Author in Recent Fiction Written in English by Carmen Lara-Rallo Arthur Morrison, Criminality, and Late-Victorian Maritime Subculture by Diana Maltz What Does Melville See on the Ocean? by Stipe Grgas

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hello-i-am-insane

2 years ago

Thanks tiktok for the first strike of writing inspiration since the start of this semester.