The Look Of Love (for Writers)

where to start

introduction:

self-improvement looks very simple on paper. eat better, workout, have a skin care and hair care routine. lower your screentime, study, be organized, have hobbies. but trust me i know how difficult it is to actually DO the things you talk about doing. how hard it is to even know where to start, and how to stay consistent. roadblocks also happen, things out of your control. but ultimately you can make change in your life, just little by little.

planning:

during this stage you need to think of what you want to accomplish and creating an action plan full of steps that can get you there. i've provided my own example too :)

prioritize your physical and mental health. when those things are improving then pretty much everything else in your life will start to follow. just look at yourself now and think 'what can i do better? how can i be happier & healthier?'

write down your goals.

create an action plan for each goal. what steps can you take to achieve this goal? make a step by step plan.

come up with things you can do everyday to reach that goal. what adjustments can you make in your everyday routine that'll help you get there? for example, i want to make an etsy shop so i sew for 20+ minutes a day on weekends, and sew 30 minutes on weekdays.

excecuting:

the most important part is slowly easing into your new habits. look at your goals and think 'what steps am i taking to reach it?'

meeting your basic needs. before you even think about self improvement make sure you're taking care of your health and hygeine. this means eating enough, being hydrated, taking care of your hygeine. always make sure that your core needsre met consistently before you even begin.

start small. once you've gotten consistent with meeting your basic needs then start making small changes. (ex. exercising for 10 minutes, reading for 10 minutes, start small with the habits you planned) dont overwhelm yourself!

have a fluid plan. be open to change- if something really isn't working then adjust it! and, when you continue to do something for a while, start doing it longer- i used to walk around 1.5 miles daily for almost a month and then started doing 2.5. keep increasing until you're at a healthy point.

having a good mindset. as always make sure your mindset is good. remember that progress isn't linear- you're going to screw up sometimes and get off track. just make sure you learn from every experience.

conclusion:

no matter what there ARE going to be problems or things that don't go your way, things that aren't in your control. since my 15th birthday i've been applying to jobs left and right, over 30 or so, and it's been 5 months of rejection due to my age (15 year olds can only work 3 hours in a row and most places need more). since i can't control that i just keep applying and in the mean time i focus on the other aspects of my life! it can be really frustrating but you just have to keep pushing.

Stressed to Blessed July Rules and Guidelines🧘🏼‍♀️🕊️

Hey cutiesss! Welcome to Stressed to Blessed July!!! I am very excited about this challenge and I hope you guys are too. The way this challenge is going to work is a little different than Healthy Girl June. I want this to be a little more personalized to the individual person doing this challenge. That being said instead of giving you daily tasks I want to give you daily journal prompts and then maybe three weekly tasks+ the daily rules that will be below. I think this will work better for this challenge and allow you to improve what you need to improve.🧘🏼‍♀️🎧🕊️🤍

Rules!

You must complete 3 daily tasks that go towards your goal as a whole every single day! These tasks will be set by you the night prior.

You must block off and hour in the mornings and an hour at night for self care and relaxation (no work/phones allowed)

Everyday you will complete a 10-20 minute reset on your space to keep the area clean and stress free.

Journal everyday (I will be giving journal prompts but if you want you can do different ones as long as you journal every day)

What to do before July

Write down a list of what is stressing you out the most and why that is.

From that list create goals that will lessen the stress that is caused by it (if you guys want to send in asks I can help come up with ideas for goals)

These goals then become the tasks you will do every day.

Good luck cuties🎧😘

Hi everyone,

I hope you're doing well. I’m reaching out because my grandmother needs urgent chemotherapy, and each injection costs around ₹10,000 (about $120). I’m not asking for donations, but I would deeply appreciate any support through my work.

I offer tarot readings, can write articles, poems, or any type of creative writing, and even compose spells. If you're interested in any of these services, your help would mean the world to me. However, there’s no pressure, any support, big or small, is appreciated but never expected.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

that girl

HOW TO STOP SELF SABOTAGING + DOUBTING

MAKE YOUR GOALS/HABITS AN IDENTITY. Your lifestyle makes up who you are, quite literally. If you want to wake up early, then start identifying yourself as an early bird. If you want to get good grades, then start identifying yourself as a studious student. And so on. 

This helps with feeling more accountable and committed to our goals and habits. However, don’t use this as a reason to overexert yourself. 

THERE IS SOMETHING UNDERNEATH CERTAIN BEHAVIOURS. All of your bad habits stem from your subconscious. This is why mentally healthy people tend to think more about their physical health. 

The best way to recognise patterns beneath your bad habits is just to talk to yourself. In any way or any form. Identify it, see what might’ve caused this subconscious thought and then work towards a way to replace the feeling that these bad habits give with a good one. 

DETACH FROM THE OUTCOME. The more you fixate on the long-term results, the more longer, strenuous and exhausting your journey is going to be, especially because you’re going to want to give up as soon as results don’t appear. Focus on the short-term results. 

You exercised? Now you feel good inside. You studied hard and understood everything? Great job for being so productive. You did that one really scary thing? What a great start!

THE PART OF YOU THAT DOES BAD HABITS IS NOT BAD. It is the complete opposite of bad. It loves you and wants to keep you safe, so it refrains you from doing anything ‘scary’ (which is typically new things in our lives) and makes you fall back on ‘safe’ habits which are a coping mechanism. 

So, instead of berating that part of you that participates in bad habits even if you know it’s bad, understand it. As these coping mechanisms usually stem from our childhoods, we turn to these habits when we feel stressed, anxious or depressed. 

A life lesson I want to share with you

When I was a child, I often felt neglected. Both my mother and father were busy with their jobs and lives, and it felt like they didn’t have time for me. I always wanted their attention and love, but I didn’t know how to ask for it. The only time I felt appreciated by them was when I did something they could be proud of. If I won a competition, got the highest grades, or acted like the perfect "golden child," then they noticed me.

Because of this, I started to believe that in order to be loved by my parents, I had to be the best at everything. I pushed myself harder and harder, trying to meet these high standards. I thought that if I was the smartest, the most successful, and the perfect child, my parents would love me more. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I had created these expectations for myself. My parents never demanded I be the best, and they never told me I had to be perfect. But I convinced myself that I needed to.

Over time, I started to feel more and more pressure. I was so focused on being the best that I never stopped to think about how it was affecting me. I was always worried about failing or not being good enough. The need for recognition and appreciation from my parents was slowly eating me up inside. I didn’t feel free to just be myself; instead, I felt like I always had to perform.

But one day, I had a realization. I began to understand that my parents had always loved me just as I was. They didn’t love me more when I got good grades or won awards. Their love for me was unconditional. I realized that my parents weren’t working hard because they didn’t care about me; they were working hard because they loved me. They were trying to give me the life they never had. They wanted to provide me with opportunities and luxuries that they had never experienced growing up.

This realization changed the way I saw things. I finally understood that I didn’t need to be perfect to earn their love. My parents were doing everything for me because they loved me from the start, not because of my achievements. It wasn’t about what I could do; it was about who I was, their child.

Looking back, I learned a big lesson from this experience. Sometimes, we put too much pressure on ourselves, thinking we need to be perfect or the best to be loved or appreciated. But the truth is, real love doesn’t come from our successes or achievements. It comes from who we are. And most importantly, the people who truly love us ,like our parents ,will always love us for who we are, not for what we do.

Now, I try to remind myself that I don’t need to prove my worth to anyone. I don’t need to keep pushing myself to the point of stress and exhaustion. I can just be me, and that is enough. My parents love me, not for my grades or awards, but because I am their child. And that is a lesson I hope everyone can learn: You are worthy of love just as you are. You don’t have to earn it; you just have to accept it.

Things that I simply LOVE 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

lacy bras and pretty lingerie

oatmeal and HOT coffee on rainy days

layering perfumes

putting notes and annotations in books

coming up with code names for the guys that we are talking to

writing letters to my friends even though we talk daily

making playlists for every occasion but its all just Lana

starting chats with "GIRL" to signal urgency

big earrings and too many bracelets

hosting brunch and dinner at my place

shitposting on main

trying a new makeup and actually liking the result

wearing sweats and a bra as my at-home fit

seeing results when dieting and working out

boy gossip after long days of studying lmao

posting ig stories and yapping

making tumblr gifs of myself

decorating for holidays way too early

going to the store and smelling every scented candle until I find the perfect one

same for the tea section. I love tea.

being asked where my clothes are from

when I smile at old people and they smile back

the feeling of your brain being slow and numb after a good study session

staying up to talk to my girls

doing my skincare after a day of not wearing makeup

floortime

having a cold and therefore not feeling guilty for being lazy (unfortunately, I am a workaholic)

tiktok tarot readings that feed into my delusions

these are just things that I PERSONALLY love, and if you get it, were besties. <3

my insta -> @ malusokay

"OH WELL, IM NOT GONNA BE HERE FOR LONG, IM GONNA SHIFT ANYWAY" girl...

let's break down why this mindset, although very common, isn't super healthy...

I saw a post earlier where op talks about how they are un phased about all the bad things happening to them because they "won't be here for much longer”, which is so real and it honestly made me laugh so hard but, i must admit, this way of thinking can also have an unhealthy side.

I, personally, have also been victim to this mindset, and honestly i can tell you nothing good comes from thinking like this. You experience something bad, hurtful, embarrassing, slightly traumatic (which, bear in mind, you wouldn't have experienced if you hadn't procrastinated and tapped in to the void) and you tell yourself "it's okay, i'm not here for long anyway", you abandon responsibilities (that, again, wouldn't be your responsibility if you would ve stayed disciplined and tapped in) and you tell yourself "it's fine, i'm gonna shift anyway" "i'm probably gonna get into the void tonight so it doesn't matter"

NO NO and NO

of course it's good to have the mindset of knowing, knowing that it's your last day here and knowing that the void is the only outcome for you, because that type of thinking is what allows you to shift consciousness and tap in to the void, but a lot of you say that shit without even properly applying your knowledge, a lot of you are gonna remain sounding like broken records, repeating this shit for years, i swear it will be 2028 and yall will still be saying "it's okay i won't be here for long", "im gonna shift anyway"

don't wait for shit to hit the fan for you to get serious about your desires, don't wait for your circumstances to get horrible for you to finally fix up and actually do something. If you really knew you were a god, you wouldn't be here reading this, you would be as pretty as you wanna be, and as rich and happy as you wanna be enjoying your dream life. Don't fall into a comfortable routine with your current reality, (which is really just your old story) because it's not worth it. I even see you guys making and scripting for a "better current reality" (another excuse to remain comfortable with procrastination), when you could have your DREAM life, you guys get swept up in your old story, just because it can be "alright" sometimes. And then when something bad happens, you repeat the same phrase "oh well, i'm gonna shift anyway", and then when things go back to being "alright", you get comfortable again, further procrastinating, when you could have ANYTHING. Who cares about your "alright", "mediocre" reality when you could have the best and more!!

like girl, don't stay comfortable until you're forced to get uncomfortable with a negative change in circumstances. You should be determined to shift consciousness ALL THE TIME, not just when things get tough or responsibilities pile up. Because again, if you had that consistent mindset you wouldn't be here.

get uncomfortable with what you have to achieve what you want, so that all you want becomes all you have

GET UNCOMFORTABLE NOW SO YOU CAN LIVE COMFORTABLY FOR ETERNITY, DONT WAIT FOR SHIT TO HIT THE FAN ᥫ᭡💋

“When you eat, you’re just feeding your failures. Look at your body—it’s the result of every time you gave in. If you were stronger, you wouldn’t need food at all. Thin people are disciplined; that’s why they deserve more than you.”

GUIDE TO THE MINDSET GLOW UP 🎀

♡ | positive mindset

easier said than done, but it has such a huge impact in our life. we as humans tend to always think negatively of everything, resulting us to give up. but what if it will work out? what we think constantly reflects in our reality and actions. why do we have to always blame ourselves for everything, why do we have to be anxious over little things, why do we have to always think of the worst when we can just flip the words, meaning, love and believe in ourselves.

- ways to have a positive mindset

the bus theory - when u see the bus that you missed u don’t actually run after it, right? you just wait for another one, knowing that it 100% will be here. think of your opportunities/relationships etc that you’ve "lost" as this bus.

the universe/god never says no; it either says yes , not yet or I have something better for you.

practice self-care, be gentle to yourself. you are waking up and always trying and it’s enough.

the moments you thought that are the "worst" are only moments now, and you’re still here. Be proud of yourself for that

a little rain doesnt have to ruin the parade

practice meditation. clean mind = better mood

journal journal journal (I’m going to make a post of journal benefits soon)

this absolutely doesn’t mean that you always have to be positive about everyone and everything. If you feel sad or feel like crying let it all out. if you feel drained allow yourself to sit all day and watch shows. it’s all about accepting yourself and not "I’m such a failure I did nothing today" instead "it’s okay, I have tomorrow where I can try again".

♡ | discipline > motivation

motivation comes and go, but discipline is forever. you are scared and not trying? It’s okay, do it while being scared. count to 3 and start doing something, take action. just DONT sit around. have a plan and don’t try to do everything all at once, or you will be easily drained . everyday do something better for 1% and you’ll see how just in a short while this 1% will be 100%.

a very good episode of mimi’s :

♡ | kindness to yourself is kindness to everyone

treat yourself with love and respect before others. everyone in this world is a human and I do not wish for you or them to spread hate. we all have bad days and this is exactly why we should so self-care or reach out to someone, but never blame anyone for anything.

you don’t owe anyone anything, but kindness and respect.

what you give is what you receive.

respect is not earned, disrespect is.

♡ | no one knows you better than you do

no you are not horrible for the mistakes that you’ve made. do you know what makes you horrible? not acknowledging them. if you wronged someone, apologize. even if it’s too late and the relationship is lost, I’m so proud of you for realizing your mistake and trying to do better. learn AND improve. accept yourself for all the pluses and minuses. you’re a crybaby? good because I’m too, and it’s absolutely okay. In fact, I think vulnerability is very powerful. you are human and you don’t have to be perfect. thrive for being better not perfection. do not listen to rumors or someone thinking that you are a bad person. you in fact know that you are not and it’s all that matters. why do you care if you are enemy in their story , they aren’t heroes in yours either.

insecurity is loud, confidence is quiet.

♡ | boundaries

to stay away from toxic people you have to have boundaries. I think the most common type here is "people pleasing" so here’s my post to help you to stop being one.

when someone does something that makes you uncomfortable, please let them know about it. you don’t have to tolerate this behavior. your own peace is the most important thing ever.

if they still repeat their actions then well … it’s time to say goodbye.

if you think that you will "lose" everything by setting boundaries please go back to the top and read the "ways to have a positive mindset" :)

watch youtubers, listen to podcasts etc to connect with people like you and improve your mindset alongside with boundaries.

here’s my list of my favs, but you can find waaaay more on tumblr

♡ | confidence

be confident, trust yourself, and never let anybody put you down. If anybody puts you down, it’s because they’re jealous. – Adriana Lima

do not compare yourself with ANYONE. the person you are looking at and saying "I wish I was her" might be doing the same. compare yourself with YOUR dream girl that you have in your head. your only competition is you.

after boundaries, positive mindset, discipline, naturally comes the confidence. loving yourself and staying true to yourself is what confidence exactly is.

no fake it till you make it, no difficult words, just you . take it easy.

♡ | tip: body language and fitness

this is more on the physical side but I advice you to learn a little bit about body language. It helps you to appear confident and attractive. my "go to’s" are entering the room with high head and good posture, never sitting on your phone (as in checking the weather app awkwardly etc not when someone calls or texts u) when coming to an unknown place.

fitness helps to relieve stress and clear out your mind when you don’t want to meditate. and by fitness I don’t mean intense workouts, a 5 minute workout that you enjoy is enough. also walking 10.000 steps a day also counts as fitness to have a healthy and balanced life.

I , for example, have a playlist with different workouts and I do each on of them on different days, whenever I feel like choosing one. sometimes I don’t even work out I just walk 7-10K steps :)

— the end ♡

in conclusion I just want to say ITS OKAY ITS OKAY ITS OKAY. You are fine. You are enough. Make mistakes, be sad, improve, be disappointed, try, love, learn, thrive. The purpose of this post is for you to understand that DONT exist , LIVE. Because life is worth living for. You were, are, will be okay.