Ao3 In The Last Couple Of Days

Harry Potter memes (slight Drarry)

Harry: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment? Draco: They're golden retrievers, love! They retrieve gold. I did this for us! Harry: Harry: As if we don't have enough gold between the two of us to last our entire lives without even having to work. And our next 10 generations too... Draco: Exactly! Make it to 20 generations with these dogs! Harry: Love, I love you and you're super smart...But when it comes to certain subjects, such as muggle dogs, you can be very dumb Draco, offended: Is this how you repay me for expanding our fortune without having to negociate with goblins, calling me dumb?! Harry, not wanting to argue over something that's actually a really cute misunderstanding: You're right, I'm sorry Draco: You better be Harry: You know we'll have to move now, right? 'Cause these dogs can grow pretty big and we won't have enough space for 6 of them here Draco: Draco: Oh well, I guess it's worth it

HAPPY LESBIAN DAY 💞🥰

Anyone in 10 miles of Hermione: "Mudblood" Harry & Ron:

Harry Potter

Listen with air pods, gives it more 😩✋

Harry, 6th year: I've connected the two dots Hermione & Ron: You didn't connect shit Harry: I've connected them!

Harry: I only have 6 weeks left to live Hermione: Harry! Oh Merlin, really?! I'll figure something out, don't worry! Ron: Mate! Really?! Hermione will figure something out, you're not going to die! Harry: It's just a guesstimate based on the choices I've made... Hermione: Ron:

*sigh* guess we have to do this then

I need to get this out of my system but I can’t write itttt AUGH so here

harry and ron decide to go to the Yule ball as friends

Other people decide to go with a person to the Yule ball as friends too, like Neville and Ginny. So what if Ron and Harry said “fuck it” and went to the Yule Ball together.

I’ve seen a few fics like it, but istg I need something in depth.

It’s pretty taboo (the wizarding world is really behind on all this stuff) but the boys still don’t care.

(Maybe this is a fic where one of Ron’s brothers is queer so he’s a confused-but-he’s-got-the-spirit ally. Harry has never really cared too much about his reputation unless it’s about actually important stuff so close-minded idiots sneering and calling him slurs is like the least of his worries— he’s got a death tournament to survive.)

The opening dance is required, so they dance hilariously bad on purpose, spinning wildly and only not knocking into the other contestants out of respect. Ron dips him at the end of the dance, but he does it way too deeply— Harry’s hair brushes the floor. Harry flings his leg into the air dramatically as he dips, and goes red in the face trying not to laugh when his shoe flings off and goes flying. He’s wearing a pair of socks that Dobby made him, and can feel the dissaproving stares so sharply. It’s great.

For all the homophobes, they fake kiss in the middle of the floor with loud smooching noises and crack up laughing when they see Karkaroff go purple with anger. Snape, who has been busting couples from eating face all night, is mysteriously not around to stop them. Harry is sure it’s only because he hates this stuffy dance as much as they do. But despite this, Harry and Ron begrudgingly decide that they owe him one.

When they decide to dance some more they head to the area that the stuffy purebloods have put themselves in. They (lightly) knock into others this time, flipping off any assholes as they twirl around. Half of the people seem to be offended, and the other half are trying to look offended and failing. The two call it a success.

Harry teaches Ron every muggle dance he can recall, recruiting Hermione once she stops being mad at them for not letting her know about their plans. (They kept their ‘dates’ a secret out of pettiness for Hermione not telling who her date was.)

The three of them make a joke out of every slow dance by doing the Macarena to the slow beat of the song— Hermione is embarrassed once she remembers Krum is watching, but Krum is on board, always down to crash a bougie-people party. Most of the muggleborns and halfbloods are unsuccessfully stifling laughter at this charade, and Harry has to appreciate Hogwarts unity as a few dozen students scattered about on the dance floor, all from varying houses (even a slytherin or two), join in on the mocking-Macarena.

About halfway through one of the slow songs, Hermione whispers into Ron’s ear. And then, oh god, Ron is trying to twerk and does so horrendously, nearly ripping open the ass of his dress robes and still going slowly to the beat. Hermione lets out her real laugh, a true witch’s cackle, as she runs from the crime scene back to Krum. And it is a crime scene, really, because Ron murdered any dignity he could have had left. Harry wheezes so hard he can barely hold himself up, so Ron has to drag him away to the tables for drinks so he doesn’t fall over.

Percy comes up to them and scolds them in hushed tones for coming to an event drunk, and that gets Harry laughing impossibly harder, attracting attention from more people. Ron announces, very loudly and to Percy’s face, that he could cast a sobriety checking spell if he wanted. They were both sober, in an unaltered state of mind, and completely unrepentant. Percy storms off, and they do a completely sarcastic toast to the ministry.

The Weasley twins find them soon after and nearly crush Ron to death in a hug, saying how proud they are of their baby prankster through tears that the younger boys can’t tell are real or fake.

The four boys team up to do one last prank later in the evening: while the band is on break and the music is coming from a dingy old record player, they get a vinyl of cringy muggle pop music from a muggleborn hufflepuff. They replace the disc during the last half hour of the ball, and the twins put a clever sort-of-sticking charm on it so it takes a good while to remove it. Almost all of the attendees vacate the hall and go outside in the cold trying to escape the music— it’s amazing. The band doesn’t back down though, moving their equipment onto a transfigured stage and playing their last few songs outside in the snow. It’s like a fucking concert, and the students who’ve given up on pretending like the whole thing hasn’t been fun have a blast. Everyone is moving now, whether to stay warm or to dance or all of the above. The twins let off some of their fireworks at the end of the closing song, and everyone cheers and oohs and aahs.

As Harry sits with his friends, he feels like a stupid, rowdy, reckless teenager. He’s having the time of his life. He feels normal.

(The hufflepuff who lent them the vinyl doesn’t get that specific one back, but Harry recruits Hermione to buy her a new one, along with another vinyl from the same artist and an ABBA album.)

McGonagall takes 100 points from Gryffindor each and gives Harry and Ron weeks-long detentions for embarrassing their house after she had explicitly told everyone not to. The boys just smile and say it was worth it. She even hears a few passerby’s agreeing. McGonagall looks exasperated and, weirdly, nostalgic.

(They were so reminiscent of the Marauders, those four boys. She herself had to stifle a laugh when Ron and Harry began massacring their public images on the dance floor. Just like Sirius and James, those two.)