Spidey Boy ; 이민형

he's so.

ateez as royals who fall for you (hyung line)

genre: royalty!ateez x fem!reader, fluff, angst, smut, crack, a brainrot and smutfest of royal tropes

length: 12.8k

c/w: very nsfw scenes - mdni, explicit language (dirty talk, swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, heavy & mature themes (sex work, murder, assassination, execution, mentions of misogyny)

a/n: this has simultaneously been the pride and joy of my life and the bane of my entire existence for the last 2.5 months 🥴 and tumblr is an inept incapable CLOWN who cannot handle the full 24k worth of bullet points so here is the hyung line first - maknae line coming soon (yumi @sorryimananti-romantic can vouch for my unsuccessful 3-hour attempt at formatting them into a single post)

hongjoong

pov: you're the king's royal courtesan

“fuck,” hongjoong lets out a deep growl from within his chest as his head dips down to rest against the crook of your neck. “you’re just as tight as last time”

when your hips involuntarily buck from the pleasure, he nudges your thighs further apart and keeps your wrists pinned above your head

he can’t help but let out another groan when he feels your walls clench around his cock as you adjust to his thickness

“i thought- god,” a moan escapes you after he thrusts his hips against you, “thought you never fucked the same woman twice”

“i don’t,” he simply says

and it’s true

hongjoong is one of the youngest princes to have ruled during the kim dynasty, having risen to power after the previous king succumbed early to an unknown illness

he has the choice and selection of all the courtesans available within the palace and outside its walls

hongjoong also has a reputation of being highly sought after by everybody, not just amongst courtesans

it’s not only because he is devilishly handsome, knows how to properly fuck somebody dumb, and is the literal king

the main thing that makes him so desirable and unreachable?

he never sees the same courtesan more than once

“yet here you are,” you hook your legs around hongjoong’s waist to gain leverage and meet his thrusts with your own hips, “between my legs for the second time”

you smirk when he curses and throws his head back

his grip on your wrists tightens and his voice drops dangerously low

“the first time doesn’t count because i was meant to see lady chae. so really, this is the first time i’m requesting for your services”

he silences you from retorting by pressing a bruising kiss against you, lips messily attaching to yours before trailing down the sharp angle of your jaw to bite your neck

you are a courtesan for people of nobility and royal status

part of the ‘house of flowers’ and commonly referred to as ‘flower courtesans’, you and the other women are highly-sought after for the companionship you offer

you are well protected by the house of flowers though - the services of companionship that you provide is requested by your client, but is ultimately accepted or rejected by you

lady chae, another of the flower courtesans and one of your closest friends, is requested by the king for her services

it is quite clear what it is going to entail and you both spend several of the following nights giggling and whispering scandalously to one another

whether the rumours about his stamina will be true

whether lady chae will be the first to break his one-fuck rule

except when the day of the meeting comes around, she spikes a sudden fever

lady shin, the head of the house of flowers, takes all but one look at her before ordering her to bed rest despite both of your attempts to, albeit unconvincingly, persuade lady shin that chae’s fever would only serve to help make the king’s dick warmer

lady shin is not amused to say the least

with the last minute hitch, the king agrees for you to be sent out to him as a replacement instead

and you end up being the flower courtesan who he breaks his reputed rule for

(lady chae is initially jealous, understandably)

(but very quickly, she appears to be even more excited than you are as she combs through your undergarments for the “sluttiest set” that she can find)

your attention is brought back as hongjoong flicks his tongue over your hardened nipples, continuing to drag his length in and out of you while your back arches off the bed

you tease in between short breaths, “are you really bringing up another woman’s name while you have your cock inside me?”

“you brought it up first,” he reminds you, accentuating his answer with timed thrusts

you grind your hips against his, chasing more friction against your clit as you feel your high approaching

“why?” he snakes one of his hands down between your connected torsos to rub messy circles against your clit, smirking as he asks, “are you getting jealous already?”

for that, you clench down hard on his cock, immediately feeling the way it throbs inside of you as you bring him closer to his orgasm too

“as if. fuck off”

your words are hardly audible from the whines that are leaving your mouth due to the added pressure of another finger against your clit from your retaliation

“i’m close,” hongjoong releases his grip on your wrists so that he can straighten his body, anchoring his hand on your hip instead so that he can fuck you and rub your clit with his other hand with renewed vigour

when you hear him groan, “cum for me,” the string snaps and your whole body quivers in his hold as your orgasm washes over you

hongjoong’s hips gradually stutter to a pause, an occasional thrust inside your clenching pussy as he milks out the rest of his cum inside of you

he finally eases himself out of you and hums in satisfaction as he watches his cum slowly leak out of you

hongjoong drops down beside you, toned chest covered in a sheen layer of sweat as it rises up and down with his pants

when your fuzzy mind has cleared a little from the blissful haze of your orgasm, he strokes his fingertips along the side of your thigh, along the curve of your ass, and over the dip of your waist just under your breasts as he says, “you better not be jealous. first one to get jealous loses”

“if anyone’s going to get jealous first, it’s you,” you scoff back

he raises an eyebrow

oh yeah?

he shoves his leaking cum back inside of you and fingers you to another orgasm

now that shuts you up

for a man who barks, he sure has no bite, because you find yourself being notified by lady shin several days later of yet another request for your services under the king’s name

and another request turns into another

and every single time, hongjoong makes sure that the only word leaving your lips for those many hours is his moaned name

but at the same time, the more you and hongjoong meet, the more he just savours in your simple companionship

he asks you to teach him how to embroider because you’ve mentioned before it’s how you like to spend your free evenings

he rifles through your bag of materials that you bring

you smack his hand away at the carelessness with which he’s upturning everything

“what’s this?” he holds up a large, wooden hoop before trying to fit it through his head, “a necklace?”

“i wonder if people know they appointed an idiot to be king,” you say as you gently unscrew the hoops and demonstrate how to align a piece of fabric between the rings

he watches with interest as you screw the outer hoop tighter until the fabric is nice and taut and then repeat the process so you both have one to work with

you have to help hongjoong thread his needle too, because apparently the king’s fingers are only good for scissoring you open

you weave your own needle through the fabric at a slow pace whilst telling him the different names and uses of the stitches you’re showing him

except, when you look up to see if he’s following?

his own hoop has been abandoned to one side and he’s leaning against his hand as he gazes cheekily at you

“were you even paying attention?”

he sounds a little too confident when he answers not at all

in return, hongjoong shows you how to write hanja the next time you meet

he positions himself behind you with his hand over yours as he guides you through different characters stroke by stroke

he claims that there are specific ways of applying pressure to the brush so he has to be holding your hand at all times

you most definitely roll your eyes several times but you indulge him anyway

there are a lot of giggles and teasing pushes when you accidentally dip the end of your sleeve into the ink and you try to spread it onto his robes too

(the calligraphy may or may not become forgotten when hongjoong pins you down to stop your cheeky behaviour, because things naturally escalate whenever he has you under him)

you two do eventually manage to finish one decent-looking scroll of characters which he ends up gifting you so that you ‘don’t forget’ about him when you’re not with him

when you walk back into the house of flowers, the hanging scroll perks lady shin’s interest as you walk past

“hongjoong taught me how to write my name today”

lady shin waggles her eyebrows at you suggestively because of how casually you refer to the king, for which you nudge her with a shoulder

she laughs then asks to have a look

you unravel the paper to show her but then she makes a funny noise

“that’s not your name? these are the characters for- oh,” she cackles scandalously to herself, as if she has made a secret discovery

“what does it mean?” you hurry to clarify

you wouldn’t put it past him to have taught you a crude phrase instead, like ‘best tits’ or ‘biggest ass’

lady shin lets out an amused exhale, handing the scroll back to you

“it says, my flower”

you’re looking at those exact characters from where you lay on your bed when a knock sounds on your door several days later

lady shin steps into your room with a warm smile as you greet her

“you have an appointment with lord min tomorrow, but the king has just inquired about your service availability for tomorrow,” she informs you. “would you like me to give him the usual answer?”

this isn’t the first time a clash has occurred, particularly with the increasing frequency with which hongjoong requests to see you

you have always told lady shin to ask for hongjoong’s pardon and to offer him an alternative time or day, because in the end, you still need to maintain a professional and admirable reputation as a flower courtesan

and as you open your mouth to tell her ‘yes’, your eye catches the scroll hanging on your wall

my flower

you hesitate

“actually,” you look away from the hanja, “i’ll see hongjoong.”

lady shin gives you a motherly smile as she nods in understanding and closes the door behind her

the next day you see him, he excitedly points out the large tambour frame in his room that he bought just a few days prior, claiming you two can work on a big embroidery patch together now

you give him one look then demote him back to the small embroidery hoop because he still hasn’t learnt his basic stitches yet

(that’ll teach him to not pay attention when you’re demonstrating, ha)

you relent and end up going through the different stitches with him again anyway

and you find that he’s actually not that bad with embroidery once he’s actually focused on the task at hand

it’s nice, basking in each others presence while he threads his little square of fabric and you work with the large frame you have now essentially claimed as yours

not that hongjoong minds; he did buy it solely to make you happy

and then you offhandedly mention that someone had gifted you a handkerchief with your initials embroidered on one of the corners the other day

“i actually have it on me, in fact,” and you take it out from where it’s tucked into your waist so that you can show him

he juts out his chin as he peers down at the delicate letters, huffing, “it’s pretty, i guess”

then as an afterthought he tacks on, “bet i could do a better job”

“are you jealous right now, kim hongjoong?”

said man is hellbent on avoiding your eyes as he picks up his needle and thread again

“no i’m not!”

“whatever you say,” you smirk

after that day though, you don’t receive another request from hongjoong to meet until two weeks later

which, in the grand scheme of things, really isn’t much

but in comparison to the frequency at which you are used to seeing him, the frequency at which your body is used to having him, it is much too long

you are almost beginning to wonder whether you shouldn’t have brought up the handkerchief gift

yet, he greets you with his usual teasing squeeze of your waist, dangerously close to your ass

you make a move to follow him through the doors to his chambers but he turns around to produce a silk cloth

he starts to blindfold you, whispering sultrily, “i have a surprise for you”

you feel the hairs on the back of your neck raise at his tone

guiding you inside, hongjoong gently pushes you down so that you sink into the plush duvet of his bed

“do you trust me?” he whispers

trying not to dwell on the urge to lick your dry lips, you answer, “of course”

you feel him tugging slowly on the string that holds the front of your corset together, loosening your dress with tenderness like you are a fragile gift

you shiver when your shoulders are suddenly exposed to the cold air

and then the sensation is followed by the warmth of hongjoong’s soft exhales along the expanse of your collarbones as he leans closer to fully disrobe your shoulders

you have to remind yourself to keep breathing

“you can look now,” he tells you

you remove the silk cloth from around your eyes, unsure of what to expect

it takes a few blinks to readjust your vision to the room around you but then your eyes finally focus

and you gasp

there, hung on the wall with its striking viridian green, shimmering threads and intricate swirls on glorious display, is quite possibly the most stunning dress you have ever laid eyes upon

“try it on,” he encourages

but as you step closer, you realise the lacing across the front of the corset and running down the sleeves of the top dress is in fact, not lacing

it’s patchy

it’s uneven

it has empty areas

but it is no doubt embroidery

“did you…did you make this?” you reach out a hand to lightly caress one of the embroidered flowers, not quite daring to believe that hongjoong would go to these lengths for you

“of course,” he wraps his arms around you from behind and presses a light kiss against your temple, “i’m not losing to a lousy handkerchief”

“is that why you disappeared for two weeks?”

you let out a laugh, sinking into his embrace, because the image of the great king holed up in his chambers for days on end, hunched over your dress with a needle, thread and frown on his face is just too endearing

he lets out a warning huff as he turns you around in his embrace to face him

upturning his hands, he shows you the tips of his fingers and grumbles, “i poked myself so many times for you and you laugh at me?”

you bring his hands closer to your face, pressing light kisses to his fingertips as you smile, “thank you, joong. i love it so much, i really do”

he looks at you impossibly soft

under his tender gaze, something suddenly rushes to your very core

you hold one his hands steady in front of your lips then swirl your tongue out in an experimental lick over his fingers

it’s almost captivating how quickly his pupils dilate and zero in on your tongue

so you dare to bring his fingers into your mouth

you suck on them a little harder

a little deeper

and then you moan around his fingers, “i want you”

he lets out a groan himself, feeling the front of his breeches tighten as his cock twitches

“i- fuck, i didn’t give the dress to you in hopes that it would lead to this,” yet despite his words he is stepping you backwards so that he can pin you against the wall

“i know, but i want you,” you palm his growing bulge, your knees going weak at how hard he already is. “and i need you. now.”

he doesn’t need further encouragement

he shoves the remainder of your clothes aside before inserting his fingers roughly between your folds

it doesn’t take long for him to bring you to your first orgasm, curling his fingers relentlessly as you ride them

he spreads your cum over your pussy and you buck your hips with a whine when he circles over your clit briefly

then he’s turning you around and bending you over, one of your hands bracing against the wall, your other arm held behind your back by hongjoong’s firm grasp

“fuck, you’re so wet,” his whole body shivers with pleasure as his cock slips right into you

the obscene sounds of his hips slapping against your ass and your slick being pushed back into your hole over and over again fill the room

and to the clenching of your pussy from another orgasm, hongjoong also cums into you with a guttural groan of your name

he gently carries you to his bed and lays you on top of the covers

he leaves your side for a moment and you listen to him rummage through something while you try to regain control of your quaking legs

when he comes back, you feel him gently spreading your legs and then the ticklish sensation of a soft cloth along your inner thighs

a whine escapes your lips when he rubs over your sensitive clit and hongjoong grips your thigh a little tighter

“be careful what pretty sounds you’re making if you can’t handle another round”

it isn’t until he finishes cleaning you up and lies down next to you to start wiping himself down that you look over and realise what it is that he’s been using this whole time

your mouth drops in disbelief

when hongjoong notices your expression, he smirks, “the man who gave you this has no idea his handkerchief is being used to clean my cum off your thighs”

“hongjoong!” you flush with a laugh. “you are definitely jealous, aren’t you?”

“yes, i’m fucking jealous,” he growls, “you’re the only one i want. you’re the only woman i’ve been requesting for since i’ve seen you. and i want to be the only one who gets to have you, too”

you confess, “well, you can have all of me. because i’ve started refusing other people just for you”

he looks at you for another moment before he’s suddenly straddling your hips

“change of plans,” he says breathily, “i need you again”

“very good plan,” you grind up against him

and then you pause, mirth starting to bubble in your throat, “one last thing though”

hongjoong looks down with amusement in his own eyes, wondering what could possibly be so funny

“that handkerchief?” you start, struggling not to laugh when his eyes immediately narrow, “i never said it was from a man. it was a gift from lady chae”

seonghwa

pov: you're his royal guard

as soon as you notice the movement out of the corner of your eye, your body reacts straight away

you murmur seonghwa’s name with a tight voice and move to position yourself in front of him, unwilling to risk the prince’s safety

one of your hands grasps the hilt of your sword, ready to unsheathe it at the first sign of danger, as your calculative gaze darts between the two young men stumbling closer on the dirt path and the line of forest trees from which they appear

they are wearing simple tunics and breeches with their colour faded and seams loosening from wear

from what you can discern, they are simply commoners, but that does not rule out the possibility that they are bandits

seonghwa seems to think otherwise, though

unsurprising but still grating

the prince places his hand on your shoulder gently in a silent reassurance and request for you to step aside

albeit reluctantly, you force yourself to move to his left

it becomes clear to you as the two figures stop just shy of a few feet away that the term ‘men’ was pushing it - their faces are young and they appear to be no older than seventeen or eighteen

the young strangers dip their head in greeting, one of them apologising as well as he pulls out a tattered map that he extends out for you two to see

“my companion and i are traveling to the village norshaw but seem to have lost our way. would you be able to point us in the right direction?” the one with the map asks

“of course,” seonghwa offers with a kind smile

you watch as the three of them step closer together to look more closely at the map

on high alert, and just as you are predicting, you see the companion shuffle closer to seonghwa, hand inching towards the leather pouch that hangs from the prince’s belt

you catch the subtle motion of seonghwa’s eyes flickering down just an inch

because of how well you understand his body language, you know that it means he has already noticed the thieving intention

but because of how well you understand seonghwa, you know that he isn’t going to do anything about it either

so you strike in his stead

your hand darts out to snatch the thieve’s wrist, twisting his forearm upwards so that he is forced to lean awkwardly towards one side to prevent his elbow from snapping

his partner drops the map, letting out a string of curses and hesitating for all but three seconds before he turns around to flee

scoffing, you threaten the one who is still in your hold, who then bolts with his tail between his legs after you release him

"did you really need to scare them off like that? it's not like i had any money in the pouch anyway," seonghwa chastises with a chuckle

"yes," you deadpan. "i did not spend the last two hours of our trip pausing every fifty meters to wait for you to pick up a rock because you thought it looked pretty, only for them to be stolen by a pair of petty thieves"

"it would have been funny to imagine their faces after realising what they stole," seonghwa grins

“mhm,” you hum, “and the next thing you know, you’ll wake up to your palace ransacked, because word in town is that you can steal from the prince and get away with it”

he levels you with a boyish scowl, “you’re so dramatic. what are you, my mother?”

“no, but i am your royal bodyguard”

“exactly. you are my bodyguard, not my brainguard. if i am to be swindled of my pretty rocks, then so be it”

you roll your eyes out of exasperation, but everything is swiftly forgotten minutes later when you point out a heart-shaped rock and seonghwa rushes over to pick it up

it has been like this ever since the incident occurred - him, the sunshine; you, the sunshine protector

it has been almost four years since it happened

somebody had attempted arsenic poisoning of not only seonghwa, but also those working under him

you had noticed strange discolouring of the silverware in the kitchen and on the table serving his dinner, which prompted an investigation and subsequent discovery of the perpetrator

an act of betrayal and treachery by one of his closest relatives - his very own uncle

seonghwa was - still is - too merciful and tender-hearted to punish his uncle, even if the severity of his uncle’s crimes warranted execution

to have his trust broken so shatteringly hurt seonghwa more than if he were to actually have been poisoned

you still remember like it was yesterday; the sight of the prince slumped against the wall, weighed down by chains of turmoil and despair as whispers fly through the palace of the weak-hearted prince who is unable to deliver fair judgement

it is the sight of the prince looking so small and lost that drives your feet forward to stand before him

as the soft draught coming through the windows tugs gently on your tresses and the flickers of candlelight illuminate the glint of steel in your hand, you make a decision

“i’ll be your sword,” you pledge

not just as his royal guard, but as his haven when he is forced to face corruption and wickedness

and when you see the way his shoulders immediately sag with relief at your declaration, the way he nods like a child who has been reassured that everything will be okay, you tell yourself that seonghwa will never have to dirty his hands as long as you are with him

you will be the dark to his light; the yin to his yang

quietly, you see to it that his uncle is executed for his crimes - your statement to the rest of the palace that prince seonghwa is not to be mocked

neither of you bring it up again, but seonghwa knows

he pulls you into a wholehearted hug, arms enveloping you securely as his chest shakes with shuddering breaths of thank you over and over again

you rub your hand up and down his sturdy back soothingly

it is an action that simultaneously reciprocates his embrace and his crossed line of professionalism

one that starts the shift in dynamic between you both, boundaries of sought comfort blurring with friendship and then something more

where seonghwa is too trusting and too soft-spoken, you become his skepticism and his voice

“you should be more wary of others,” you always remind him

“and you should be more trusty of others,” he’ll retort

yet, he will never make a decision that does not receive your input nor one that you do not agree with

where seonghwa is too gentle and too humble, you become his sword and his shield

you do not waver when you strike down foe, and friends turned foe alike

you speak up and establish firm boundaries when others take advantage of the respect he shows everybody regardless of their class or status

and yet, if you find yourself on the receiving end of someone’s condescension or discriminatory treatment, be it due to your rank as a guard or identity as a woman, seonghwa will be advancing forward to defend you before you can do so yourself

where seonghwa is too innocent and too bushy-tailed, you become his eyes and his caution

your morning walks together always last for longer than they are scheduled for

he stops to watch every butterfly and bumblebee that flutters along the flowery path, and he waits for caterpillars to crawl onto a leaf that he holds by the stem so that he can move the critters off the pathway

you love to watch him and his glittering eyes, his cheeks rosy from happiness and from the air still crisp with morning dew

but you also make sure to watch his surroundings with greater vigilance because the quiet peace that the freshly awoken sun brings simultaneously increases the likelihood of a targeted attack against him

as much as you rib him for being a marshmallow personified, however, and as much as he banters back that you are more than welcome to resign at any time, neither of you want it any other way

seonghwa carries out a lot of gestures that he justifies to himself as being eternally grateful for you and the things you do for him

he likes to gift you flowers he has plucked from his garden or the bushes he walks past that remind him of you

(“that’s actually just a very pretty-looking weed, but thank you, seonghwa,” you tell him on more than one occasion)

(it’s adorable, because the next time he finds a flower, he goes to the length of certifying that it is indeed a flower with the merchant who sells bouquets in the nearby town before presenting it to you, eyes gleaming with pride)

you stand still and let him tuck a flower behind your ear, sometimes braiding your hair gently so that he can weave and secure the stem into your hair, holding your breath as his features fill with the same enrapturement that he would admire a beautiful artwork with

after you voice this out one day, seonghwa supposes to himself that there is not much difference between an artwork and you

not that he’s attracted to you or anything - you just…have an objectively attractive face

yes.

especially when your usually-piercing expression is softened by fatigue, guard no longer up as you sleep slumped over a desk while accompanying him during his late night of studies

he does not realise his feet have moved until he is right beside your resting form, as if the soft exhales escaping from your slightly parted lips are a siren’s song

seonghwa tenderly brushes your stray locks away from your face and behind your neck

except he forgets to account for the fact that you are trained to sleep on the brink of consciousness

the squeal that leaves his mouth when your reflexes kick in and you almost slit his throat resounds at a frequency so high you almost believe it comes from your own mouth

you have a grand time watching his beet red face stutter out an excuse as to what exactly he was doing so close to you

needless to say, that is the last time seonghwa ever tries to do anything while you are sleeping

but as much as he bumbles around, he also reveals his perceptiveness when you least expect it

like now, as you accompany the prince to one of his meetings with numerous advisors and ministers

it is relatively dull and uneventful, mostly a cordial appearance to maintain amicable and loyal relationships with his subjects

conversation is limited to pleasantries and at one point, seonghwa even points out the calligraphy paintings hung at the back of the room

everyone nods with throaty laughs as if the paintings are indeed the most exquisite and tasteful artworks they have ever laid their eyes upon

when you and seonghwa arrive back at his chambers following the conclusion of the meeting, he walks over to his bed and shakes the sleeves of his robe over the expanse of his duvet

and out drops a neatly-wrapped sweet, followed by another, then another, until there are enough to amount to two handfuls

baffled, you look at seonghwa, because these are the very same treats that had been plated on the tables during the meeting

“you smuggled candy out of the room?” you try to keep the amusement out of your voice

he peers into his sleeves to ensure there are no more stragglers, before turning to face you as he waves his hands over the small collection of goods on his bed

as if they are-

“for you!” he exclaims almost proudly. “i saw you eyeing them during the meeting so i took some for you”

okay

most definitely proudly 

you feel something tickling you from within, as if he has reached through your chest to directly caress your heart with a delicate finger

“when did you even…” your voice trails off when it comes out a little fonder than you are expecting it to

“remember the paintings i pointed out?” seonghwa giggles, and you think that the hand in your chest is now cradling your heart completely. “i swiped the sweets when everyone was looking back at them”

“thank you, hwa,” you settle on saying, because you do not trust yourself to say anything else

that is more than enough for him, though

which, of course it is - this is seonghwa, with his huge heart that fills easily with the smallest of things

he eagerly hands you one of the treats and you unwrap it to place into your mouth

you’ve had these before, but this one that he has specially grabbed for you tastes remarkably sweeter

you wonder if his lips will taste the same…

but then you accidentally bite your tongue, hard enough to draw blood, and you realise just how wrong you are for letting those fleeting thoughts into your mind

because while you navigate the world in thick droplets of red and sharp glints of silver, seonghwa sees the world in soft hues of pastel and gleaming rays of yellow

how could the two palettes ever blend together harmoniously?

so instead, you grant yourself one last moment of selfishness and pull him into a hug, a gesture that toes the already shaky borders of professionalism yet can still be excused under the guise of friendship

you realise that he has always meant much more to you, but that is what this will stay as - a mere realisation

seonghwa wraps his arms around your form as he relaxes into the way your bodies naturally meld together

it’s strange how easily you slot into his life, his thoughts, his heart

he wonders whether it’s possible for feelings of appreciation to run so deeply and potently within somebody, like a drug that he cannot get enough of

and when you take a step away from him, leaving his chest feeling physically and emotionally empty, he wonders if he is perhaps…

in love with you

following that incident, it is almost as if a switch flips - both of you take several steps away from the line that has been danced around

but neither of you notice the distance because you are both consumed by your own thoughts

until one of your usual morning walks around the castle walls of his palace

seonghwa is wondering whether the bushes you walk past remind you of the flowers he used to gift you and you are debating whether to reach out to brush a petal out of his half ponytail 

then, like deja vu, your eyes flicker towards the burst of movement as a figure covered in black comes darting forwards with their blade raised intended for murder

you immediately start to unsheathe your sword, feet poised and prepared to defend-

until you are harshly tugged back and the prince steps in front of you to parry the strike that the assassin tries to land

it takes your lifetime of training and experience to snap back into focus and thrust your sword into the enemy’s exposed side

when you are sure he is dead, you whirl around to descend upon seonghwa with a voice trembling from both anger and relief

“what in the world were you thinking?” you yell

“i-”

taking a step forward, you toss your sword to one side, “no, actually. you weren’t thinking at all”

“i was afraid that you would get hurt!” he takes his own step closer

“that is my duty!” the volume of your voice raises even more. “i am willing to lay down my life to ensure your safety! i have been guarding you for years now and you have never acted this way. what has changed?”

for a moment, the only sound that punctuates the silence is your harsh breathing

seonghwa swallows

“my feelings…” he whispers, a stark contrast to the peak of emotions you have been riding. “my feelings for you have changed”

your throat tightens at his words

it is your turn to whisper, a noise of confusion leaving your lips

he takes another step closer, bringing himself to stand right in front of you as he looks down earnestly into your eyes

“i’d rather be the protector, and you be the protected”

“but…why?” your heart races with anticipation

“because i’m in love with you” 

right at the invisible border that has been separating you two for as long as you have been his guard, seonghwa now stands, hands wringing together as he awaits a response

“then that makes the two of us,” you confess

you step forward to take your familiar spot on the other side of the line, except this time you do not stop

you stride over the boundary completely to stand by his side

raising yourself onto your tiptoes, you pull him down slightly by the front of his doublet so that you can press a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips

it stretches wider and curves upwards under the nurturing of your own smile

you can’t help but give him another kiss on the other side of his mouth to match the one you just gave him

“from now on,” seonghwa starts, “i’ll be your sword”

you wouldn’t really, and you will fight him to let you continue being his guard, but that doesn’t stop one last teasing question from escaping you

“does this mean i get to retire?”

yunho

pov: you're part of a rebel group

the crown prince is not in his fucking library

for the past three weeks, the crown prince has always been in the royal library at night

until today

under normal circumstances, his royal guards and staff would be alerted to ensure that the deviance in routine is a conscious decision and not an issue of the crown prince missing

except doing that would make your job significantly harder…

considering you have been ordered to assassinate him.

you’re part of the ‘red sun’, a revolutionary movement aiming to overthrow the current monarch

following the debilitating state of the king after falling ill and the subsequent coronation of queen jeong into power, she has since then established numerous royal decrees to keep everyone under her reign on a tight leash

a leash made of barbed wire

people are quick to become resentful and thirsty for an end to the dictatorship and bloodline

although he has made limited public appearances, the crown prince has also developed a reputation rivaling the queen’s

within the second year of the jeong dynasty, red sun has already amassed a multitude of supporters

the focus is currently on growing in numbers, preparing for an imminent revolution and picking off corrupt royals and noblists, be it through incrimination or assassination

dealing with those in positions of higher power is a task only completed by an elite selection of red sun rebels who have distinguished skills and traits that set them apart from peasants and commoners

and you are amongst the elite team

which is why you find yourself staking out on the tiled roof of the imperial palace, clothed in black with a mask and hooded cowl covering your face that blends you in with the darkness of night, on the orders of a higher-up to assassinate the crown prince

except the target is missing; the information you were given is wrong

which never happens

you can’t risk staying around for much longer, especially now that the crown prince has broken his routine

he could be anywhere and so could his royal guards

you shift your body to a crouch and place your hands on the cool tiles beneath you, ready to leave

only to spot a figure, crouched just like you are, on the opposite side of the roof

their face is a black hole of nothing within the shrouded confines of their hood, but you can feel their gaze piercing into you all the same

you run

you scramble to the edge of the roof and nimbly leap off the curved eaves to the neighbouring structure of the study room

when you glance backwards, you see the man - physique now obvious - is keeping up easily along the stepping stones of roofs

this game of cat and mouse isn’t going to work for long

if you don’t get caught by him first, you’re both going to get caught by the palace guards

so you make a split decision and alter your next trajectory lower

keeping your arms outstretched for the eaves, you grab on tightly when your fingers touch the edge of the roof and use your core to kick your legs up to stop your body from slamming into the wall from the momentum of your jump

you let go and drop to the ground like a feline, noiseless, and slink towards a line of trees

then you wait

he’s good, you note to yourself, when the only sound that alerts you to his presence is the quick scuffle of his feet as he softens his impact against the wall and the muted thud of his body landing on the ground

“state your purpose,” he demands, voice low yet firm

you ignore him to ask, “who are you?”

now up close, you can see that the man is wearing attire almost the same as you are, identity also hidden by the his bandana and hood-

wait

even the dark red stitching that subtly replaces the original seam on the right shoulder of his outer clothing is the same

the same as those on the elite team

“one of you,” he confirms your suspicions

except you don’t recognise his voice nor his build

being one of the earliest members of the rebel organisation, you are familiar with all the members who carry out missions like yours

he is not one of them; not one you can trust yet

when you don’t speak, he adds on, “we need to go. the safehouse might be in danger”

we

he refers to the two of you so easily, as if you and him are an unspoken team

you cannot trust this man until you know for sure he is part of red sun, so you ask him

“when is red most beautiful?”

it is a vague question with a fixed answer

one that reflects the heart of the revolutionary itself

during the sunrise of a new beginning 

“during the sunrise of a new beginning,” the man says resolutely

the tension releases from your shoulders 

“okay,” you opt to abandon your original mission. “let’s check on the safehouse”

the man offers you a hand to hike yourself up onto one of the outer walls of the palace before he jumps up himself with ease

you both flip over the top and land in unison

the moon illuminates the ground beneath your feet as you both sprint into the surrounding forest

the safehouse is really just a small hut situated far enough from the palace to stay inconspicuous, yet not close enough to the outer borders of the kingdom to risk discovery by the frequent border patrols

you both slow down as you approach the clearing, steadying your breaths and treading with cautious steps

and then you hear it

the shattering clang of a desperate parry

all it takes is a quick glance at the man by your side before your eyes harden with purpose and your steps are dashing in unison towards the hut

you’re both hit with the smell of a metallic tang in the air, and it’s not from your drawn swords

bursting through the door, you quickly take in the scene before you

several red sun members are scattered around the hut and slumped in varying degrees of injury

it’s easy to spot the intruder; they’re yanking their sword out of a body’s torso as they simultaneously turn to look at you

and it’s hard to miss the royal insignia of the jeong monarch on their chest plate

you have the element of surprise

but only for the next few seconds

you leap forward with the thud of footsteps of your partner following almost immediately, side-stepping once you close the distance to dodge a haphazard swing 

there’s a brief break in defense when the enemy tries to aim for another strike that leaves the gap in the side of their armour exposed

you feel the slight resistance of your sword entering flesh as you thrust it forward into them

except when you try to tug it back out, a hand grasps your own and the hilt of your sword, stopping you from stepping away

the enemy has realised they are not going to make it out of this alive

but if they are to die, then they are going to take one last person with them

you.

you see glint of metal as they use their other hand to swing their sword down onto you, only for it to be deflected at the last second by another sword

the man you have met for barely an hour is now at your side with his towering protectiveness

in one smooth kick, his long leg sends the other careening into the wall of the hut with a mighty slam

you feel yourself jerking forward from the enemy’s grasp still on your hand

but the man next to you quickly tucks you into his side before you are also sent sprawling

“check on the others,” he briefly says, and then he is striding towards the fallen intruder

you only spare him another quick glance and then you rush to the nearest figure on the ground

you go around checking for pulses, and for those who are still breathing, the extent of their injuries

there are several casualties but nowhere near as many if you and the man had not come to check on the safehouse

which suddenly makes you pause in your tracks

how did he know about the attack in the first place?

you stretch your legs from their squatted position next to one of the red sun members and turn around to confront him

except…the man has disappeared

and so has the intruder’s body

days later, the question of whether you will chance upon the man again tonight flits through your mind when you find yourself perched in the very same spot on the tiled roof of the palace that gives you a clear view of the royal library

you have received another order to assassinate the crown prince as soon as you see the opportunity arise

this time, the note is accompanied by a cyanide capsule, a non-verbal message that this mission is to occur with your life on the line

you spot him

he’s preoccupied by the scroll in his hand as he makes his way through the shelves of parchments

you wait until he’s walked far enough into the library before you drop down from the roof, keeping your stance low to ensure you stay hidden as you silently move closer

you take out the jagged dagger from its sheath by your waist as you anticipate it will be too difficult to wield your long sword in the narrow aisles

and there the crown prince stands

he has his back to you, exposing him to your mercy

mercy that you have no intention of showing him

the cruel heir to the throne of an even crueler dictatorship deserves none

“it’s you again, isn’t it?”

you freeze

the crown prince still has not turned around to address you, but you can feel the dark gaze of his eyes on you as if he were looking at you

“you were here a few days ago”

fuck

how he knows you have no idea

what you do know though is that you have about two seconds to make a move before you lose this chance to assassinate him completely, and quite possibly, lose your life as well

the pill you have hidden in the breast of your tunic feels heavy

“you are part of red sun, are you not?”

this time the crown prince does turn around to face you, but it isn’t the nonchalance with which he reveals your identity that makes your head reel

it is the warmth and softness in his gaze and the hint of a smile on his face that does

what the actual fuck

you’re convinced that the crown prince is not only heinous, but also batshit crazy

“i am,” you spit out at him, “with orders to assassinate you, in fact”

his mouth thins into a tight line, “the orders you have received are false”

“sounds exactly like something a crown prince would say to avoid being assassinated,” you scoff

but then his next words change everything

“red is most beautiful during the sunrise of a new beginning”

before you have time to fathom the bomb that has just been dropped, your heads swivel simultaneously towards the entrance of the royal library when a voice calls out for the crown prince

“hide,” he hisses urgently

and then he’s stepping further away to conceal your presence as best as possible

you hear the shuffle of footsteps approaching before they stop, dangerously close to where you’re crouched behind a bookshelf

“apologies for interrupting your time, crown prince,” they say

from where you are you can see the crown prince’s expression clear as he lets out a small huff, “i have told you many times to just call me yunho”

“of course, crown prince yunho”

even though you can’t see the other person’s expression, you can hear the amusement in their voice

they continue, “i have the information you have requested for”

“thank you,” you see him - yunho - receive a small scroll. “the queen does not know?”

“no, i made sure to be as discreet as possible”

yunho thanks the other once again and your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets when he bows his head in appreciation as he dismisses them

is this the same crown prince as the rumours?

and what is he doing behind his mother’s back?

you don’t realise you’ve been staring dumbly at him until he’s back in front of you with amusement on his face

he stands tall and proud, robes accentuating his stature and nobility

“who exactly are you,” you dare to ask

your voice is small - you feel small, crouched at his feet like a stark physical representation of the power he holds over you

but then he takes yet another step closer and kneels down so that your eyes meet at the same level

“i am the leader of red sun. the creator of the whole revolution”

your ankles actually do give out at that and you have to seat yourself on the floor

because how is any of this possible?

you must have voiced your thoughts out loud, because before you know it, yunho is crossing his legs and making himself comfortable on the floor right in front of you

it makes you feel so strange

the crown prince’s willingness to make himself an equal before you - and even to his staff from earlier

yunho starts to explain

a change in monarch, particularly one of such dictatorship, requires massive momentum and synergy; something he cannot produce alone nor without the support of the people

thus, red sun came into existence for the exact same reason you and all the other supporters have joined

in hopes of a sunrise one day that marks a new beginning

a new leadership

except recently he has had growing suspicious of the presence of a traitor within the organisation, which were confirmed the night the safehouse was attacked

“that night…that man was you,” you realise, “and that’s how you know who i am”

he nods, “and that’s also how i know your orders are false.” yunho nudges you playfully with his knee, “pretty sure i never ordered for my own assassination”

yunho continues to explain that he had taken the intruder back for interrogation, but then you frown when he reveals the enemy had swallowed a suicide pill before any information could be gained

he has an inkling that someone in a high position of power is involved, since the pills are almost impossible to gain access to, but it cannot be ruled out as a coincidence

“hang on,” you pull down the top of your tunic in a hurry

yunho scrambles to cover his eyes and turns his head as he jokingly sputters out, “woah okay, this is moving a little fast don’t you think?”

you tug impatiently on the sleeve of his robe, telling him to look

yunho hesitates for another second before lowering his hands and realising you have-

“a suicide pill?” 

you look at each other, because this can only mean one thing

the pills are not a coincidence; the enemy is much closer than yunho would like

you’re both unsure how much time there is until the traitor decides to order someone else to assassinate yunho, or worse, decides to finish the job off themselves

but from that very night of discovery, you and yunho work together incessantly against a ticking time bomb

it’s a delicate balance between finding as many leads as you can and spreading out your investigations to stay under the radar

yunho tries to look further into the cyanide pills while you try to uncover any information regarding the order you had been given

whoever is behind it all has kept their tracks hidden well

there isn’t much to report from either of your ends whenever you sneak into the palace to meet up with yunho

but he makes it very hard for you to feel discouraged when he makes your meetings seem like casual catch ups between - you dare say - friends

you have yet to catch him by surprise whenever you drop down from the roof in front of him in an attempt to scare him; he has an uncanny ability to sense your presence

except, you think you prefer being unsuccessful, because your indignant grumbles never fail to bring out his toothy grin and an excited body jiggle

other times he is the one trying to fluster you

“remember that time you literally tried undressing yourself in front of me-”

“i was taking the pill out to show you!” 

you bring your thumb and index finger closer together in front of your face and squint at the gap

“i am this close to changing my mind and assassinating you after all”

he gets a kick out of it, pretending to beg for your mercy, “oh please spare me, your majesty”

other times, yunho teases you for always keeping your cowl and mask on

“bet it’s because you’re ugly or something,” he jokes

and you bite back that he had his face covered too when you both met, so you’re one to talk, ugly

“but since then i’ve always shown you my face as the crown prince. you can see me nice and clear,” he suddenly leans forward, so close you can see the dip of his cupid’s brow. “what do you think about me now?”

you swallow hard

you’re glad you have your mask on because you can feel your face rapidly heating up

“i think…” you gently cup his jaw, “you look better with your mask on,” as you nudge his face to the side

you cannot help but join in with your own chuckles at his laughter and boyish glee

and eventually, you two have a breakthrough

yunho manages to trace the cyanide back to a traveling merchant operating under the guise of selling rare herbs and medicine

in the transaction ledger, there is an unusually large purchase under the name of ‘lee minjun’

“i’m sure i’ve seen the name before somewhere, but i can’t remember where,” yunho huffs

you let out your own huff at his elbow that has very naturally taken a rest on your shoulder

pulling out a stack of paper, you spread it out onto the table before you two

they are past records of certain red sun missions that, upon looking back, seem suspicious

“i noticed a mark on a couple of them, a drawing or character perhaps? except none of them are fully intact. it’s almost like the paper was accidentally marked”

you point them out to yunho in hopes that he will have a better idea

he doesn’t - not at first

not until he chances upon two that vaguely align with each other to form a clearer image

“this-” yunho runs his hand through his hair, “this is butler lee’s stamp. my father’s butler.”

the king’s butler?

lee?

your eyes snap to yunho’s, just as his meet yours

“lee minjun”

you sink back in your seat

there’s now definite proof that the king’s butler is at the very least involved

the question of why and what for remains

in fact, you and yunho would not put it past the queen either to be involved too

there is a long moment of shared silence as you both mull over what this means for the future

yunho breaks the silence first

“after this all ends…do you want to work for me, officially?” he clears his throat, “will you stay by my side?”

after this all ends

you two must still uncover butler lee’s motives; likely part of a much grander scheme involving queen jeong too

you two must still bring down the whole monarch; with the support of red sun, yunho needs to sit on his rightful throne

the sun has yet to rise but you can see the faint hues of orange and twilight blue in the horizon

the new beginning is close

and at that, something in you relaxes

crumbles and disintegrates with utter relief

“it would be my honour to stay by your side forever, yunho”

and then you are removing your hood and mask, daring to breathe and feel alive and hopeful for once

ironically, yunho chokes on air

you glance at him to find that he is unable to meet your eyes

you think your eyes are deceiving you because-

the tips of his ears are a glowing red

you could definitely get used to seeing the usually calm and collected crown prince become a shy, blushing mess

the corner of your mouth rises with smugness, “like what you see?”

“you should really keep your hood and mask on,” he mumbles

“and why is that?” you humour him

he finally looks at you

and when he sees the shit-eating grin plastered across your face, his shoulders suddenly fill out again with confidence and cockiness to match yours

“because,” his voice deep and flirtatious, “with a pretty face like that, you’re going to distract me from my duties”

yeosang

pov: you're in an arranged marriage with him

ever since you could understand the words coming out of your parents’ mouths, you have known that you will be married to yeosang

it just made sense

for the respective princess and prince of two powerful kingdoms to join together, leading to increased power and stronger allies

it is tradition for the pair to meet their chosen spouse for the first time only when both parties have turned sixteen, and even then, subsequent meetings are rare until the time of the actual wedding

so you spend the first sixteen years of your life infatuated with the idea of your prince charming - of prince yeosang - wondering what he looks like, what his personality is like, and how you two will fall in love

and when you finally reach that long-awaited first meeting, prince charming is everything and more than what you have envisioned

if angels with broken wings were exiled to earth, they would look like yeosang

he is soft-spoken and slightly reserved, as any awkward teenager meeting their future spouse would be, but you don’t miss the way that his eyes overflow with adoration and his shoulders shake with exuberant giggles whenever his little sister, yeoreum, comes tottering into the room

he always bends down onto one knee to match her eye level, uncaring of the stains that mark his pants even as his mother narrows her eyes in disdain, and he listens with utmost sincerity when yeoreum tells him about the secret pink and glittery fairy she spotted in the courtyard 

they remind you of the relationship you share with your own little brother, juwon, who is barely half your age and height, yet has you wrapped around his little finger

you lean down closer with a hum at the soft tug on your dress to hear your little brother whisper conspiratorially into your ear, “he looks stupid”

if looks could kill, yeosang would be dead right now

you stifle a laugh as you flick juwon’s chin affectionately at his sudden display of childish jealousy

if anything, you’re pretty sure you are the one who looks stupid

stupidly in love

because walking away from that first meeting with yeosang and his family, you know that you are absolutely smitten for the prince

unable to quell the restlessness of having to wait until the next unforeseeable meeting, you pick up a quill that very same day you return to your palace and start writing

it takes you all night, the gentle gleams and winks of the stars keeping you company until they rotate shifts with the songs of the waking world

but by the time you have crossed out and scrunched your way through rolls and rolls of parchment paper, you are satisfied with the letter you have written

the letter addressed to prince yeosang, which you task eunju, one of your maids, with passing it to the royal couriers for delivery to the kang palace

it is a simple letter, thanking him for the enjoyable day, yet it holds the deeper message that you are interested in him and would like to become better acquainted before your marriage

you wonder whether his cheeks will flush a pretty red as his butler hands him your letter

whether he will trace his fingers delicately over the curve of your words

whether he will bite back a smile as he pictures you saying the words to him

two weeks pass, and you approximate the letter to have just been delivered to his kingdom

and although you desperately wish for him to immediately sit down with a quill in hand to pen out his reply, you wait and give him a week before you eagerly start counting down the days until the arrival of his letter

your whole life you have been able to wait patiently

you wonder what has changed now that mere weeks feel like an eternity

the day yeosang’s letter is due to arrive, you are sporadic bursts of giggles, twirls and skips throughout the palace

even juwon is starting to become sick of getting swept up into a crushing hug to the cheery tune of i loveee youuuu every single time you pass him

nothing can bring you down from cloud nine

only…the letter never comes

not the day after, not the week after, not the month after

you’re disappointed, of course, but you busy yourself with reasons why yeosang has not replied, and you don’t give up

you send him another letter, and then another, and another

sometimes you just tell him about your day - what made you smile, what made you sad, something interesting you saw, something your little brother said

other times you tell him about yourself - your hobbies, likes and dislikes, aspirations, fears 

and you also wonder about him

you ask what he likes, what he smiles at, what makes him sad, what his dreams are

with each letter that you hand over to eunju to be delivered, it becomes harder and harder to stay optimistic - not even the words of encouragement from your favourite maid lifts your spirits

you continue like this for over a year, still yet to receive a reply 

until-

you do.

it feels like you are brought back to that very night of your first meeting, feeling so very alive as hope and excitement cascade into your body the moment eunju hands you a letter with a smile

with shaking hands, you fumble to unpeel the wax seal and free the envelope’s contents - a single piece of paper, neatly folded

your mind races with anticipated words and explanations

perhaps he had been too shy to reciprocate your letters earlier

or perhaps your letters had been lost in transit

you unfold the parchment as the hairs on your skin raise in anticipation, only to find it blank save for one scrawled sentence in the middle of the paper-

stop sending me letters.

and just like that, the clock strikes twelve

your carriage reverts into a pumpkin

and your carefully curated story of prince charming disintegrates into ashes

you don’t write to him again.

years later, the stacks of parchment scrolls on the wooden desk of the guest room you are currently residing in feel like a fresh slap in the face each time your eyes land on them

they are a stark reminder of your very own letters, the cold rejection you received, and the irony of the only letter you ever received again following his being one from the kang monarchs, announcing the proceeding of the royal wedding between you and their son

now, only a few days newly-wed to yeosang, the king and queen are gracious enough to let you sleep in one of the guest rooms temporarily, under your claims of adjusting to a life in a new kingdom and as a wife

really, you are trying to avoid yeosang for as long as you can

you spend your time instead getting to know his little sister better, which is why you find yourself sitting side by side with yeoreum, legs dangling off the edge of your bed

she eyes the vase of flowers on your bedside table curiously, “did you buy that?”

“no,” you reach out to touch the baby’s breath, “someone delivered it to my room”

you had offhandedly mentioned to some of your staff the other day that flowers would make your room look more homey, and you had woken up the morning after to find the beautiful vase teeming with flowers next to you

“why?” you ask yeoreum when she hums thoughtfully

“it looks just like the vase in my brother’s room, but he’s weird about it. yeo never lets anyone touch it, much less have it”

you blanch a little, “in that case i’ll give it back to him later then”

“you don’t like it? or…you don’t like my brother? my brother talks about you a lot, you know,” she reveals

caught off-guard by her perceptiveness, you reveal that you have been hurt before

you don’t specify by what exactly or who it is that you’re talking about, but she seems to understand regardless

later that night, sweet yeoreum barges into yeosang’s room and with as much feistiness as she can muster, she glares at her brother and interrogates, “what did you do to make her upset?”

before he can so much as blink, yeoreum concludes, “you boys are dumb. go talk to her and fix it or something,” and then walks out with a huff

there’s no one there to witness it, but yeosang nods anyway

heart feeling a little heavy after your conversation with yeoreum, you head towards the kitchen to seek solace in the sweet pastry you are usually served each morning

the first time you tasted the danish pastry, decorated with strawberries and cream cheese, was when you had traveled to yeosang’s palace at the age of sixteen for your first meeting

you remember the blissful expression that had bloomed across your face with your initial bite, and no dessert ever captivated your tastebuds quite the same way ever again

if there is one good thing out of this arranged marriage with yeosang, then it would be the reunion between yourself and the strawberry danish

“your highness,” the head chef bows, followed by the rest of the staff in the kitchen, “how may we help you?”

when you ask for one of the pastries, the head chef apologises that there are none

“but we can make you one now, if you do not mind waiting”

you tell him not to go to the trouble and ease his worries, “i just thought there may have been leftover pastries”

“we make only one fresh every morning, specifically for you,” the chef explains, and confusion must settle across your features because he adds on, “his highness has expressed that you may like them”

oh?

flustered, you can only muster a short response of, “i do, thank you,” before you smile once more and excuse yourself

because of all people to notice and remember such a small detail, and then to go out of their way to put in the request with the kitchen on the off chance that it was still true, it was yeosang? 

first the vase, and now this

you feel something deeply buried inside of you start to stir but you rush to nip it in the bud

your head and your heart are beginning to wage war against each other and suddenly everything feels like it’s too much

when you reach your bedroom, you throw open the double doors to step out onto the balcony, welcoming the chilling breeze of the darkening sky

you’re tired of fearing rejection if you open up

you’re tired of questioning yeosang’s intentions

and on top of it all, you suddenly miss home and you miss your parents and you miss juwon and-

“are you okay?”

yeosang’s soft question startles you, having missed his knocking at your door

he walks closer to join you out on the balcony when he sees that the answer is obviously a no, and he prompts you again, “what’s wrong?”

thoughts of vases and strawberry pastries flit across your mind

you start with half truths

“just missing my little brother”

“you love him a lot, don’t you,” yeosang smiles sweetly, “i can see it in the way you take care of yeoreum”

you can’t help the heat that slowly creeps up the back of your neck and to your ears, because it implies that he’s noticed all the times you’ve showered his little sister with the same love you give to juwon

it implies he’s noticed you

“what’s your fondest memory of juwon?” he asks when you nod

something within you thaws slightly at the fact that yeosang remembers your little brother’s name

you step closer to the edge of the balcony so that you can overlook the garden outside your room a little clearer, resting your hand on the railing as yeosang waits patiently

“we used to have this game we played. we had a lot of gardenia flowers growing around our courtyard and juwon loved cutting some to make me a mini bouquet,” you pause to shake your head with a chuckle, “it drove our mother nuts”

“doesn’t sound like it stopped him from continuing though, did it?” yeosang questions with mirth

“no, it didn’t,” your heart aches with fondness. “he would use a certain number of gardenias and make me guess what phrase containing the same number of letters he had in mind” 

it never failed to tug your mouth into a smile whenever juwon giggled at your attempts to guess the flower phrase, even when most times he would bound away whilst singing answers like y-o-u s-t-i-n-k or d-u-m-b d-u-m-b

yeosang supports himself on the railing with one hand as he nearly folds in on himself in laughter, and before you know it, you too are gasping for air and wiping away tears from your eyes

when you both calm down relatively enough, only intermittent chuckles leaving your lips, yeosang clears his throat and scratches his neck awkwardly

“i know it might not be much, but maybe we can go out into town tomorrow and it might take your mind off things? and we can bring yeoreum along if that makes you feel more comfortable, because you’ve probably spent more time alone with her than you have with me?”

you don’t admit it, but you’re already feeling a little better, so you decide to tease, “are you asking me out on a date right now, kang yeosang?”

“oh, well, we’d be doing things a little backwards since we’re already like, married…but, yes? maybe? is that okay?”

it’s yeosang’s turn to flush a deep red as his usually composed demeanor is reduced to stutters, but you don’t notice under the faint glow cast by the moon now reigning the sky

“yeah, that’s okay”

you and yeosang smile fondly as your little trio stroll through a nearby town the following morning, his younger sister skipping ahead to peer at the colourful trinkets being sold at the market stalls, and your own small squad of royal soldiers following behind at a respectful distance

it’s kind of endearing how yeosang points out item after item, asking whether you like it or whether you find it pretty, in a not-so-subtle attempt to learn about your preferences

you have to stop him from buying you something from every second stall you both pass, but you’re unable to convince him from purchasing a small wooden toy as a gift for juwon, insisting that you give it to your little brother the next time you see him

the more you actually interact and talk with yeosang, the harder you find it to associate him with the memory of the yeosang in your rejected letters

because the equation of the letters, the vase and the pastries just does not add up

as you two sit under the awning of a small shop, watching yeoreum play with the shopkeeper’s dog, you find yourself unable to hold back anymore

“why didn’t you reply to my letters?” you break the silence, trying to hide the hurt laced in your voice

yeosang looks at you with wide eyes as his mouth stutters open

and in the smallest voice you have ever heard him speak with, he says

“you wrote me letters?”

your eyebrows knit together as your eyes dart back and forth between his, searching for any hint of deception

“too many to count,” you confess, “until you sent a letter telling me to stop…”

“impossible. i never got your letters” 

your head recoils back as you try to make sense of his words, “but-”

“wait,” he interrupts

yeosang reaches into his robes, pulling out a small, wooden block, extending it out closer to you as he asks, “do you recognise this?”

upon closer inspection, you realise it’s a square seal stamp

it has the character ‘姜’ carved into it and you’ve seen it enough times to know it represents the kang family name - but the inscription that stylises the border is unfamiliar

“not the seal, no”

he swallows apprehensively, “i stamp all my letters with this to certify authenticity”

you let his words sink in as they throw you into a sandstorm of bewilderment

“but then-”

but then who wrote the letter?

and where did all your letters go?

the only people who would have known about them would be the royal couriers and…eunju

a memory flashes through your mind - the moment she handed you a letter with a smile

no, not a smile, you realise

a smirk

you are simultaneously overwhelmed with betrayal, guilt and apologeticness

yeosang doesn’t push you for a response, and you come to recognise that you are also grateful

“i’m sorry for doubting you,” you tell him

it’s nowhere close to the amount of things you want to confess, but it is a start, one that yeosang picks up on and understands immediately

“no, i’m sorry you felt the need to doubt me,” he offers. “that i didn’t make you feel loved enough”

“but i did, actually. the vase and the pastries, then our conversation last night…and even today”

he blushes a deep red as you list the things off with your fingers

“you weren’t meant to find out about the first two,” yeosang admits as he ducks his head shyly

then he suddenly perks up with a sudden thought

he ruffles inside his satchel that had been abandoned to one side, mumbling, “my sister said i did something to upset you…so i um, got you these” 

he turns around to reveal of bouquet of flowers, looking a little rough for wear after being hidden in his bag all morning, but his clumsy consideration only serves to makes your heart skip dangerously

“forgive me?” he asks cheekily, and you both giggle at the absurdity of his question because it should very well be the other way around

“if you insist,” you take the bouquet into your hands

and finally, you allow the chains around your heart to fall away, “i can’t say no to my husband, can i?”

yeosang lets out a little squeak as you look at the bouquet more clearly, counting the number of flowers

you turn to ask if he remembers the game you told him about, but the way yeosang suddenly finds the patch of dirt near his foot absolutely fascinating tells you everything that you need to know

eight flowers

eight letters

i l-o-v-e y-o-u

Seventeen's vocal unit with a chubby s/o

Pairing: svt vocal unit x gn! reader Genre: headcanon, fluff, hurt/ comfort Word count: approx. 2200 words Warnings: body image issues A/n: ahem, the brain rot is real.  Other units: hip hop unit | performance unit

😇 Jeonghan

You are his doljjongie 2 rock. Jeonghan knows that no matter what, he can always rely on you. 

He’s strong alone but he becomes even stronger now that he is with you. 

He loves how attentive you are to him and how observant you are. He gets tired/ sick/ injured easily. Somehow you always know when that happens because you are always ready with medication/ ointments/ bandages. 

We all know he loves to cling onto his emotional support sword and hammer. Well, you serve as his emotional support, portable human! Jeonghan loves to hold onto your forearms and hands. You’re just so soft and squishy. He can always be found kneading your skin gently. It’s calming, like playing with slime! And sometimes, he just clings to your arms, content with the physical contact. 

He actually loves how he always manages to fall in love with you again and again every time you remind him that you are caring for him out of love, and not simply out of duty as his partner. You remind him he is not a burden, and never will be one. 

In return, Jeonghan really is your angel. He just adores you in your entirety. 

Partner privilege is always so real with him. Whatever you want you will get. Plus, you are spared from most of his teasing. He does love to tease you, but more about mundane everyday things like how you “forgot to kiss him again”, or “you missed a spot on my lips”. He is extremely careful with his teasing. Definitely avoids teasing you with anything remotely related to your insecurities. 

Aside from physical touch, Jeonghan’s other love language is quality time. He just loves to spend time with you. He always makes time for you regardless of how busy he is. He’s just a phone call or text away. 

Jeonghan is also extremely observant, meaning that when you start to get insecure about your size, he knows. He will drop everything to attend to you. What do you mean go spend time at practice with the members? You are his priority. Like an angel, he will show up whenever you need him to lift your spirits. 

Definitely gives you so much love you are practically drowning in it. 

BONUS: his favourite body part of yours? Your soft forearms! He actually prefers to cling to your forearms than your hands. He finds that it draws the two of you closer together! 

🦌 Joshua

You are like a magnet. It never fails to amaze Joshua at how you always manage to draw him in. He is thoroughly enamoured with you.

There’s something about your energy, your personality, your adorable appearance, your beauty, your brightness, your strength, your intellect, basically just YOU, that makes him fall hard for you. 

He might be the gentleman of seventeen, but the way you treat him? Please he swoons at the thought. 

You open the doors for him. You watch out for him when you are crossing the road. You grab his hands to pull him towards you in a crowd so he doesn’t get lost. You help him reach for things. Basically everything he does for the members, you do for him. 

You also never fail to draw him into your arms and pull him into some of the warmest (softest) hugs he has ever gotten. You would gently rub his back and squeeze him really tightly. Your body temperature naturally runs warmer and it’s just so comforting for him to bask in the warmth of your embrace. 

In return, he is your anchor. Joshua helps to ground you. His love language includes acts of service. 

Whenever you feel like you are floating away on the ride that is your emotions and insecurities, he pulls you back down. 

He can always see it in your eyes even if you try to hide it from him. It’s the emptiness and hopelessness in them. 

Joshua would pamper you so much when that happens. Imagine a bubble bath, scented candles, all your favourite comfort foods and tv shows. He knows that sometimes it’s hard for you to let go of these insecurities. But he hopes that his actions would at least help you to calm down and relax. He’s usually right in this regard. 

Of course, if there are occasions when you float away too much, Joshua is always ready to shower you with words of affirmation. He would hold you and whisper sweet nothings to you. It’s not just empty words to make you feel better. Whatever he describes to you about what he loves about you, you can be 100% sure that he means every single word of it. 

BONUS: his favourite body part of yours? Your nape. He loves to rest his head there when you hug him. He also loves nuzzling into it but it’s ticklish for you so he tries to stop himself from doing it. Although, he fails all the time and instead lets himself enjoy your little giggles. 

🍚 Jihoon

You are his home. Jihoon swears you must have x rays built into your eyes because you are the most perceptive person ever.

What makes Jihoon adore you so much is your ability to see right through him. As an idol, he knows that there is a particular persona he has to play. It’s not just about pretending to be someone he is not, but also playing up or exaggerating certain aspects of himself that others will latch onto and love. 

With you, he doesn’t need to pretend. He doesn’t need to put on a mask around you. To you, he’s not Woozi from seventeen, Woozi the producer. He’s simply Lee Jihoon. You see him and accept him for who he is, flaws and all. 

You see the effort and sacrifices that he makes and you validate his worries and fears. He knows he can share with you things about himself without fear of judgment. 

Unlike the rest of the members, Jihoon isn’t big on physical touch. So, for him, it’s your presence that brings him comfort. He especially loves the little surprise appearances you make at his studio. When he sees you, a feeling of peace washes over him. With you, he feels at home. 

In return, Jihoon is your silent knight. The one whose actions speak more than words. It’s not that words of affirmation isn’t one of his love languages, it certainly is. The plenty of song lyrics he has written about you confirms that. But lyrics are more indirect, like an ode to you. 

When he is with you, it’s the little actions that count. Although they seem insignificant, these actions mean so much, they are done out of genuine love and appreciation for you. 

If he was doing the laundry, he would always wash your favourite clothes first, the ones that you say make you feel confident and beautiful. He would make sure your favourite snacks are always restocked. 

He knows all your mannerisms no matter how subtle. Sometimes when your feelings get too overwhelming, your body reacts first before your mind can process. When he sees this, Jihoon would rest his hand on your thighs or the small of your back. It’s his way of saying, it’s okay, you will be okay, because I am here for you.

BONUS: his favourite body part of yours? I want to say your whole body. He just loves all of you. You’re so so beautiful to him. And he treasures you being there, your presence more than anything. 

⚔️ Dokyeom

You are his night, his moon if I could put it that way. Dokyeom is literally the sun personified. He embodies all the qualities of happiness. In contrast, you help him to calm down, to rest.

You never eclipse him, and you’re always there but in the shadows. From the way that you prepare food for him, or the way that you tell him how proud you are of him. You fuel him to continue shining. 

You watch him so carefully he never has to be afraid of letting himself shine. 

Yet at the same time, on the rare occasion when he burns himself from trying to continue shining too brightly, you come in to protect him from himself. This is when you eclipse him, shielding him away from the pain of the world. 

The way you hug him makes him feel like you are protecting him. You literally draw him into your chest and mutter words of encouragement to him. 

You reassure him that it is okay to take a moment for himself, to let himself finally feel and make sense of all the emotions he has been pushing down. And when he is rested, you once again make way for the sun to come out again. 

In return, he’s your day, the light of your life. 

When you live life in the shadows, it’s natural your mind would go to a dark place sometimes. You let it wander until it eventually consumes you and you spiral. What if Dokyeom breaks up with you because you are chubby? You’re bigger than him. He’s surrounded by so many beautiful people everyday, why doesn’t he just leave you? You’re not worth the trouble. You know that Dokyeom loves you and wouldn’t break up with you over your size, but it’s the irrational fear that drives these thoughts. 

Just when you submit into the darkness, Dokyeom is that light that shines through. He breaks through the darkness and leads you towards the light. 

His love language would include quality time and physical touch. He would bring you aside to a place that you find comforting, be it a garden or somewhere in your home. He would hold you and sing softly to you until you feel better. The time you spend together helps to remind you that he is not going anywhere. 

Eventually, this ball of sunshine will smother you with cuddles and affection. His cheerful personality will always make you crack a smile (or many smiles) no matter how sad you are. 

BONUS: his favourite body part of yours? The apples of your cheeks. He loves how they stand out whenever you smile. And he especially loves how red they can get when he is showering you with compliments and affection. 

🍊 Seungkwan

You are his guardian angel. Seriously, Seungkwan cannot for the life of him figure out how you always manage to protect him without his knowledge. 

He’s so confused, appreciative and a little worried that you somehow always use your body to shield him. (You usually joke and say it is because you are softer, you can take the impact better. Yea, that does not alleviate his worries. Actually it adds onto it.)

It could be a small action, like shielding him/ using your hands to pull/ guide him away from someone who is about to bump into him.

Or it could be you pulling him to walk on the inner side of the curb on the pavement.

Other times, it’s probably you using your face body to prevent his hands from whacking the wall for the 10th time. 

He’s not clumsy, and it’s usually others who almost bump into him. Either that or it’s a situation when he is not paying attention to his surroundings when he is talking about something he enjoys. 

Seungkwan literally worships your body for that reason. You would selflessly injure yourself and use your body to protect him from any harm. Compared to his flawless skin, your skin is littered with bruises and scrapes.

Don’t worry he will fuss over you and kiss each and every one of the injuries. You always pat his head and tell him not to worry, but how could he not? 

In return, Seungkwan is your saviour because he saves you from yourself.

His love languages include words of affirmation and acts of service. 

He really does try to repay you for all that you do by bandaging your injuries and making sure that your wounds are healing properly. He tries to be more aware of his surroundings and actions. That way you won’t need to worry over him so much.

Of course he will praise you and shower you with kind words, but I feel like the majority of the time, his words of affirmation are more appreciative in nature. Like he is affirming that he is grateful for all you do. He never fails to say “thank you”, “you got hurt again because of me, I’m sorry”, “i love you but please don’t keep doing this for me”. He tries to drill it into your head that just because you think you can take the impact better, you don’t have to. 

More seriously, Seungkwan is a blunt person and won’t sugar coat his words. So, you can be sure that he will give you very real but very comforting advice when you are having bad body image days. He helps you realise that yes, you will feel like this sometimes, it is inevitable. In fact, he feels it too, but you can get through this. You always have and you always will.

BONUS: his favourite body part of yours? Again, I think it’s your whole body, but because of the way he always sees your shadow or the blurry afterimage of your body as you're raising your hand from the point of impact when his body collides with yours. He doesn’t realise you were there until the aftermath of the collision. It takes a second for that afterimage to register, then he's fussing over you.

kim mingyu’s (unhelpful) guide to losing your virginity

❝ you’re telling me that you, Miss Dick Repellent, had sex with Captain Chastity By Choice over here. ❞

PAIRING ▸ kim mingyu x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, humor, college au, best friends to lovers au, friends with benefits au

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, alcohol consumption, rated m for mingyu, slow burn, he fell first but she fell harder but then he tripped and ate shit, probably the most self-indulgent thing i’ve written, mingyu and mc are both virgins, sexual content, sexual tension, protected and unprotected sex (i would not advise doing the latter), lots of teasing and banter, oral (f. and m. receiving), fingering, wall sex, couch sex, public sex, mingyu discovers what pasties are, soonyoung orders 20 connect fours, they are avid enjoyers of the barbie movies

SUMMARY ▸ after accidentally telling your friends that kim mingyu took your virginity (he didn’t), you’re shocked when he proposes to relieve you of the fabled v-card for good (he does).

PLAYLIST ▸ perfect by one direction • spell by niki • fatal flaw by ellise • give me a kiss by lolo zouaï • step? by bibi

WORD COUNT ▸ 31,273 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ someone (fia) once told me i write too many college aus. i said yeah ur right. and i’m gonna do it again

“BIRDS AND BEES CANNOT PHYSICALLY FUCK.”

You sounded more distressed than informative while you were trying to reason with your longtime best friend, Kim Mingyu. He, on the other hand, appeared visibly worked up over this childish level of argument you two were having.

“It is a metaphor,” he said. “Everyone knows birds and bees aren’t screwing each other up in the trees.”

You still couldn’t wrap your head around it. Hours ago, you had fucked yourself over after Kwon Soonyoung had casually brought up the topic of body counts. After everyone in your friend group went around listing theirs (Soonyoung: 3; Jungwoo: 3; Minghao: 2; Vernon: 5), you accidentally blurted out that your body count actually existed—one, to be exact.

This was a problem because, to everyone’s prior knowledge, you were a virgin.

Keep reading

---

Made by me cause I had to uwu

Acmé de la vie 23FW Collection With SEVENTEEN JEONGHAN

insomnia | city lights series | h.js

The last bit of sanity in your mind vanished the moment before you asked your hot neighbour to be your fuck buddy. Whatever prompted you to muster the courage to get the words out was something you didn't know you had inside you. But he wasn't saying no.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x afab!reader ✮ genre: smut mdni you'll get blocked ✮ word count: 11.8k ✮ aus: rocksinger!joshua (not famous), neighbours with benefits

₊🎧: insomnia - shinee | closer - jihyo ₊ tagging: @aaniag @dkluvrsclub @zezedoesshit @cottoncheol @mindofthescattered @ac1dhao @lovelyhyuka14 @lilsafsafbooyah @agustjin ty for your comments, tags and rbs!! ty lovelies love y'all. tell me if you'd like to be in my forever tag list!! ♡︎ヾ(•ω•`)o ♡ ₊ nsfw warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: smut with plot, softdom!joshua, bigdick!joshua, somewhat inexperienced reader, sex talks, a bit of corruption kink (it'll get worse i promise), instalove(ish), pet names: sweetheart, pretty, baby, princess (hers). a bit of size kink, wet dreams, dirty talk, foul language, making out, oral sex (f), protected sex, squirting, multiple orgasms (f)

part i

A soft thud startled you. What followed then were muffled sounds of a woman crying out and moaning continuously, bed creaking loudly and pushing rhythmically, and then frantically against your bedroom wall.

You groaned.

Lying on your mountains of pillows and squishmallows, you covered your face with your duvet as the moans continued, crying out and being muffled by the walls, but you could still hear them.

It's the second night you hear your neighbours have really loud sex. The first time you didn't mind, since you were deep in a writing session and you have pretty good headphones that cancelled the sounds of your neighbour fucking someone into the walls.

But now there was no way to avoid hearing them.

Given that you'd presented the first rough draft of your manuscript early, you had time to relax for a bit. To the exception that you've pushed yourself so hard lately that your sleep schedule was deeply fucked up and now your body was wide awake during the middle of the night.

You jumped out of your bed and grabbed your coat, scurrying away from the sounds of your neighbours going at it.

You felt somewhat disturbed, but not in the way that anyone would if they hear their neighbours having sex. You felt rattled, as if your neighbours having a good time and not you was the actual problem and not that they were too noisy in the middle of the night.

The only way to the rooftops was through the emergency stairs, so when you got there, you were panting silently. The midnight air cooled you off and brushed your hair gently when you stepped out to the rooftop.

Beyond the door, a wide concrete square stretched off into the distance. Your typical route took you east, where the lookout point offered an impressive view of the city skyline.

The perimeter of the rooftop was lined with a brick mid wall that stood up to chest height, providing a protective barrier along the edges.

You were convinced that you were the only one visiting this place. Since it was vacated every time you came here to wind down and take fresh air away from your computer.

The night was so still that it offered you some solace, it made your imagination run. You loved this piece of tranquillity, the times when you came here in the dead of the night to presence the stillness of the city.

During sleepless nights, you found solace in this place, waiting for the dawn. As the city slowly awoke, you reflected on the ordinary lives of the people, contemplating their daily routines. It gave you some incentive to keep working on your manuscript.

You let an hour pass. It seemed reasonable to you. Drawing from your own lived experiences, an hour was too long but you decided to give your neighbours the benefit of the doubt.

When you returned to your apartment, it was quiet enough to force yourself to sleep. But instead, the hours went by and you stared at the ceiling for while, lying in your bed.

It usually happened this way; whenever you felt like sleep was drawing near, something would snap in your brain and kept you awake until you'd blackout.

Wide awake, you were overcome with a curiosity that led you to wonder about your next-door neighbours. Although you had a vague idea of who lived there, the occasional sounds intrigued you. Sometimes a guy's loud singing would drift through the walls, or you'd hear the casual strumming of a guitar in the middle of the afternoon.

And also, the obvious loud moans of a woman in the middle of the night.

You have never had the chance to meet them, and you were pretty sure that you didn't want to now that you've heard them fuck twice.

It was 7AM the last time you remember looking at the clock before finally falling asleep.

The curtains of your bedroom blocked out the light from outside completely and there wasn't any strange or loud noises that could possibly interrupt your long awaited sleep.

Until you heard someone strumming an electric guitar quite loudly on speakers. The sound came from the next door neighbour, the same you heard last night having really loud sex.

The same chords were strung over and over again, as if rehearsing a tune.

"Oh my god," you muttered under your breath.

Throwing the bed covers away, you jumped out of bed again. A deep feeling of rage boiling inside you when without thinking, you marched outside the hall of your apartment and knocked on the door of your immediate neighbour; loud enough for them to hear it over the guitar speakers.

What followed then was the sound of speakers dying abruptly, a shuffle of steps of someone coming towards the door. A tall man opened it, and you met his face. Big brown eyes looked down at you, while raising one perfect eyebrow.

The rage inside you smouldered down at the sight. You weren't counting on your neighbour being... well, being hot as fuck.

His hair was dark, with a few stray strands gently touching his eyebrows, you noticed the ring adorning one of these. Big eyes were dark and curious, like those of a doe, scanning you up and down. The ghost of a smile adorned his pinkish red lips, hiding his teeth.

"He-hello," you mumbled awkwardly. "I'm your neighbour from 317."

Why wouldn't you just say you were from next door, you didn't know. Probably you were so sleep deprived that you didn't know how to act human anymore.

Your neighbour showed you a kind smile. "Hi. I'm Joshua," he rose a hand and waved friendly. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah," you said, but after two seconds added: "can you keep it down, please? I'm trying to sleep."

"Uh, sure. Sorry about that, I was just testing equipment," he said while smiling politely.

You quickly glanced at his strong arms as he crossed them over his chest and leaned against the door frame. You realized he was using his body's motion to check you out too.

The anger inside you dissipated quite quickly and that was good enough of a reason to be angry again. It felt like your brain was short circuiting, struggling to control emotions properly.

"Maybe you could play at a more reasonable hour. Not this early in the morning," you blurted out before you could make sense of your own words.

He chuckled. It wasn't mocking you at all, it was as if he enjoyed being chastised.

"It's 12 PM," he informed while coughing to mask his chuckle.

12 PM? You felt your shoulders slump down a little. You were making a fool of yourself, not only that, you probably looked crazy. Sleep deprived, irritated, standing in your hot neighbour's doorstep wearing bunny pyjamas.

And then, your mouth lost all filter.

"Well, I lost track of time since you couldn't keep it down last night," you accused.

The pierced eyebrow arched up. "Last night?"

"Yes! You were really loud last night!" you felt your cheeks blush.

"Me?" his brow furrowed. And for a minute, you thought he was trying to play dumb.

"Yes! And it's been two weekends in a row now!"

His mouth parted in bewilderment. "Oh, no," he chuckled awkwardly. "I'm afraid that wasn't me."

The heat from your cheeks was so prominent now you swore that it would show on your face and neck.

"Maybe your girlfriend's been cheating on you cause I heard them having really really loud sex!"

His lower lip was still hanging a little, his brow deeply furrowed but he composed himself quickly to say: "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, whatever! Just try to be more prudent of your neighbours!" you hushed and then stomped off before you could embarrass yourself any further.

"Prudent," you heard him snort. "Kay. I'll keep it in mind! Nice meeting you!"

As soon as you closed your apartment door you let out a long frustrated groan.

You made your way back to your bed. Slumping down on your pillows and squishmallows to let out yet again another groan.

But your neighbour didn't use his guitar again.

Suffering from chronic insomnia could vary depending on the person experiencing it.

The first time you remember having insomniac nights was when you were in university, pulling all-nighters had affected your sleeping habits and in the aftermath, you'd find yourself waking up in the middle of the night feeling just as energetic to go for a run.

So you've tried a variety of options to counterattack the insomnia. Ranging from sleeping pills, calming teas, meditating, to some more questionable ones.

The one option that you resorted to sometimes when you were feeling up to it, you'd go to the gym. It wasn't as expensive, or addictive and it had good results on your overall wellbeing.

You closed your apartment door, the noise from it echoing along the long dust-smelly hall. As you walked to the elevator, you checked if you brought everything you needed with you, keys, id card, phone, earphones; the latter you already had them on you.

The doors parted and you stepped inside, a shadow followed you closely behind. You turned to see who it was, only to turn back around to face the reflecting doors of the elevator.

From the brief glimpse you caught of him, your attractive neighbour was leaning back against the mirrored elevator wall. He had swapped his earlier attire of washed-up jeans, a black t-shirt, and a denim jacket. He was carrying a large guitar case over one shoulder.

Pretending to be oblivious to his presence, you couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. Sneaking another glance through the mirrored elevator doors, you caught him looking at you briefly, his eyes taking in your entire frame. In the reflection, your eyes met his, and you sensed the corners of his lips rising in a small, knowing smile.

The blood on your cheeks seemed too burn. You bit your lip as you pretended to busy yourself on your phone, changing songs on your playlist frantically until the elevator stopped and you stepped out, rushing to the doors of the building.

The workout session that night was interesting, to say the least. As you were working on the mat, trying to strengthen your abdomen as best as you possibly could, your mind would wander elsewhere, inevitably falling on the thought of your hot neighbour.

You'd think on the way he looked leaning against the elevator wall, the very poise of him was unsettling. And something made you think that he probably knew the effect his looks had on people. Looks and attitude.

Involuntarily, you scoffed quite loudly in the middle of the gym. Like a knee-jerk reaction. Luckily no one seemed to notice you, but you felt embarrassed either way as you continued working out.

That night you had a sound sleep, much thanks to the exercise. It was all going al right until your dream turned into a really unusual one.

Because, you were in your bed, panting, squirming in your bedsheets. Then when you looked down, there was someone with you in the covers, you could see a shapeless someone on top of you under the sheets.

In your dream, you half knew what needed to happen next, as if you were a mere witness of your own wet dream. Your hands grabbed at the covers of the bed at the same time you experienced an orgasm, tensing your body in low whimpers and skin sizzling.

Slowly pulling your covers back you found a man of raven black hair slotted between your thighs, still ravaging your core with his mouth. Intuitively you knew who it was, but couldn't see his face, only the single silver ring adorning his eyebrow.

You woke up abruptly after that, feeling a tingling a rush of warmth in the apex of your thighs. Did you just...? Your hand snapped underneath your panties, fingers digging between your pussy lips to find out that you were pooling, your aching core pulsating in need for more attention.

A groan came out from your mouth. Feeling helpless, you went in and grabbed the drawer from your nightstand to get your vibrator, even though you knew that what you needed was something more than that.

Your thoughts couldn't go pass the fact that you just had a wet dream, one that included your neighbour who you barely knew. You tried to reason with yourself that you're just lonely, he is hot as fuck and been quite literally hammering loud sex into your bedroom wall for two weekends in a row.

Yeah, that sounds reasonable.

The jarring sound coming from the boiling kettle startled you.

You jolted and stood from your couch to turn off the stove. The steam when you poured the boiling water on your travel tea tumbler caressed your face, and you let the smell of peppermint tea leaves in inhaling a big breath.

It had been over a week since you got your manuscript back with all the comments from your editor, letting you know succinctly that now you had a lot of work to do.

But there was a suggestion from your editor and the publishing team in general that left you perplexed for what followed for the rest of the week.

Between all the things that needed fixing in terms of narrative and structure of your manuscript, your team suggested to maybe include some mature sex scenes. You knew from the moment you signed in for this novel that there was a possibility to write in some erotic scenes but it was never settled. And you thought you might have gotten away with it.

But your literary agent and newfound best friend, Yena, told you that it was almost inevitable. Your romance novels have been fine without sex scenes so far, but now that you had signed up for a lengthier fantasy trilogy including vampires, you just had to be more serious about it.

"You can't have sexy vampires without the sex part," Yena told you over the phone.

"Yes I can," you countered, feeling a bit stand offish.

"Your book is already rated for adults with all the violence it has. There is nothing bad with adding a few scenes of your main character getting dicked down."

You sighed and looked up to the ceiling, as if you'd might find some escape there. "You're sounding really ridiculous right now, Yen."

Yena laughed. "I know. This is me trying to convince you. Trust me, this will be great for sales."

"I don't care about sales," you lied a bit. You cared, but it wasn't at the top of your priority list.

"Well, I care. Will you do it for me?" you couldn't see her but you could imagine her big puppy eyes beaming at you.

"I'll work on it. But I can't make any promises."

"Nuh-uh," she tutted. "You pushed so hard to distance yourself from your teenage love romance novels. So now you commit."

"Pffft," you chuckled. "You got it."

"Hey, but take it easy," she suggested. "You're still behind the deadline."

You knew that. But there was an eagerness inside you to get this out in the world. You had been lucky to be picked up for your 'teenage love romance novels', but deep down you always wanted to write something into the fantasy-romance, or romansy, genre.

But now with the evident push in erotica lately, you also knew that this was going to be asked in your books. It was an option at the beginning, but you decided to play dumb about it.

However you couldn't play dumb any further.

So, you hid in the best place you knew. The rooftop was busy with the noise of the big city. Lights from the endless maze of tall buildings shut on and off sporadically. You could see the traffic lights change every few seconds, and cars honking every now and then.

You brought your tumbler with you to sip peppermint tea as the noise from the busy night swarmed your senses, you closed your eyes, taking the night in.

It would be nice to bring a chair.

Before you could react promptly, you picked up some faint noises from behind you, a shuffling of steps and suddenly, you opened your eyes to see your neighbour standing next to you.

"Oh my god," your hand flew to your jolting chest. "You fucking scared me."

He was looking up the sky, a calm expression on his face. When he heard you cuss he turned his smiling gaze to you. "Sorry. I didn't mean to."

"What are you doing here?" you asked, still a bit breathless.

Joshua shrugged, his hands were deep in his pockets. "I wanted to see where you'd go every time you take the stairs."

You eyed his dark frame up and down. Dressed in all black, black converse, jeans, t-shirt and leather jacket. He looked like he was attending a rock concert.

He noticed you eyeing him up, so you quickly had to put in: "You've seen me come here?"

"I only hear you. In the middle of the night, in the morning. You know, from someone who yelled at me for being 'loud', you do slam doors pretty loudly."

Your cheeks burned. "I didn't yell at you," you mumbled. "And you were the one who was really loud."

"It was nearly noon when I was playing," he smiled down at you.

"What about the nights you were loud too?"

"I told you," he pointed. "It wasn't me."

"I heard your girlfriend too," your brow furrowed. "Don't try to tell me that what I heard were two ghosts fucking."

The sound of your neighbor's laughter triggered a response within you. It seemed to intensify the warmth in your cheeks, yet the tightening sensation in your stomach was far more distracting.

"I don't have a girlfriend, 317," he crooned with his sweet voice.

"Well, I heard a woman," you insisted, trying to ignore that he called you by your apartment number. Three-one-seven. Anything could sound pretty coming from his mouth.

"Hasn't it occurred to you that I might have a roommate?" he asked, putting his arms up the border of the rooftop.

"Oh," you bit the inside of your cheek.

"Mmm-huh," he nodded his head once. "I suppose that your room is next to his and the woman you heard is his girlfriend."

"Crap," you muttered under a breath and you shut your eyes. "I am so so sorry."

"It's okay" he smiled politely and ran one of his large hands through his dark hair. "They can be quite loud, though."

"Right?" you murmured. "I'm still sorry you had to see me in such disarray, though."

"Disarray," he chuckled. "Why were you in disarray?"

He emphasized the word in a goofy tone, making you smile a little but you quickly rolled your eyes.

"Sometimes I get insomnia. Most nights actually," you told him simply. "And I'm quite protective of the few hours I do get to sleep."

"Protective is an understatement," he muttered. "More like feisty."

A laugh erupted from your belly. The sound made him look at you again with his smiling eyes.

"She can laugh," he said feigning surprise.

"She is not usually as feisty as you got to see a week ago," you countered. "You just had the misfortune of meeting me in a bad night."

"It wasn't even night time," he chuckled.

"Whatever," you quipped with a childlike tone and his smile grew broader.

The tea was cold when you lifted it to your lips. You poured more into the little pink cup in your tumbler, the steam lifting the city lights.

"So what brings a pretty girl like you here every night? Besides the insomnia" he asked, looking up to the building lights.

You looked at your neighbour. The sound of him calling you pretty shouldn't have the effect it had on you. Your mouth went dry and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten.

"I uh... come here for inspiration," you muttered shyly.

You knew you had zero reasons to trust him but damn, you were lonely.

His eyebrow arched slightly. "Inspiration," he repeated slowly.

"I'm a writer," you mumbled shyly, diverting your gaze from your hot neighbour.

"Oh, I see. Makes sense," he replied shortly.

"Why?"

"You say big boring words," he smirked.

"Big boring words," you blinked. "No I don't. That doesn't say I'm a writer anyway."

"It says that you're just boring, then," he teased.

"I'm not," you whined. "You're a tease."

He laughed, he was enjoying this. "I might be. But at least I don't say disarray, or what was it? Prudent."

"I like big boring words," you grumbled with a pout.

A soft sigh came from your neighbour, he had a small smile on his face.

You drank your cup of tea while it was still hot and poured a little more.

"Am I interrupting your moment of inspiration, then?" he wondered.

"No. I'm actually procrastinating," you sighed. "I have to fix some subplots of my manuscript. I don't even know what to write yet so I came here to escape from it for a bit until I figure it out."

He arched one eyebrow again, his lip popping outwards and nodded. "I'm going to pretend I understood what you just said."

Fuck. He was also cute. The sharp pain in your stomach returned. It irritated you a little that he wasn't actually doing anything and you still thought he was cute. Or hot.

"I... was asked to add sex scenes to my novel," you rolled your eyes again, cringing from embarrassment.

His eyes read your face for a brief moment and you resisted the urge to hide away. You found it a bit amusing that your neighbour didn't seem to shy away from the abrupt shift in the conversation topic at all.

"And... you don't want to?" he mused, his brows almost touching together.

"I don't–well I do want to," you muttered, feeling defeated.

Your neighbour tuned his back to the border of the rooftop and propped his elbows up at his sides.

"I'm confused," he mumbled.

"Apparently it's a trend that guarantees success in the genre I work with. This book deal is important to me and I don't want it to fail just because I can't write a few graphic scenes."

The corners of his lips rose slightly. "How graphic do they have to be? The scenes."

"Well... let's just say I can't just do the 'pan over to the next day' bit," you sighed. "I agreed to write explicit sex scenes and I don't–I can't write them."

With a frustrated groan, you buried your face in your hands. Your heart was beating so hard and loud in your chest that it was also reverberating in your ears.

"Why?" you heard him ask slowly.

You turned your back the same way he had a moment ago, leaning your back against the brick mid wall. "I don't know. I just go blank," you murmured.

The truth is that you lacked first-hand experience.

What little experience you had, it wasn't something you could even put into work for something to write about. And all the times you read explicit erotic scenes, you couldn't even compare it to your experiences, so it seemed more like a fantasy.

You knew you didn't actually require the experience to write, but still it would be a good starting point.

"You lack the inspiration?" your neighbour mused with a grin on his face. He cocked his head to look at you, his dark hair falling away from his forehead a bit.

You gulped.

"Yeah," you sighed, feeling your cheeks burn as you looked up at the night sky.

It grew quiet for a moment, even the busy noise from the city appeared to have died down.

"Well," he said, starting to walk away, "I wish I could help but I have to go to work. Have fun in your little writing adventure, 317."

Your heart still strummed in your ears when you heard yourself say, "Wait!"

Joshua stopped midway through the rooftop and turned to face you.

"You can help me," the words escaped your mouth. "F-find some inspiration."

The tall dark haired man closed the distance between you. His frame was so tall that you had to look up to find his big curious eyes.

"What do you mean?" he cocked his head to the side.

You sighed, trying not to roll your eyes at how ridiculous you felt while asking your neighbour to fuck you. "I need to build up some experience. To write."

The corners of his pretty lips raised as he spoke. "You want to use me to have something to write about?"

"No," you breathed. "I want you to use me."

As soon as the words left your mouth, you felt something in the air between you and him change.

His dark eyes searched your face in disbelief. "You're actually asking me to fuck you."

The tone in his voice was pure awe.

"Yes," you sighed.

"My, you aren't as boring as I imagined you to be," he marvelled, a playful smile on his rosy lips.

The last bit of sanity in your mind vanished the moment before you asked your hot neighbour to be your fuck buddy. Whatever prompted you to muster the courage to get the words out was something you didn't know you had inside you.

But he wasn't saying no.

"For how long?"

"Till I finish the manuscript," you blurted out, feeling a strange reassurance invade your emotions.

His eyes searched your face, their impatience palpable, as though you had triggered a chord of fascination in his mind. "What do I get from this?"

"You get to have your pretty, boring neighbour in any way and whenever you want to," you whispered.

There was a strange feeling of assertiveness that replaced the messy nervousness from a minute ago. For you could no longer ignore the times you'd caught him staring at you. Even in your bunny pyjamas.

As if trying to test you, he grabbed your chin between his thumb and pointer finger. You blinked and gasped at the touch, a mix of emotions invaded you instantly. Your skin prickled.

"I don't even know your name," he narrowed his eyes. "You want me to fuck you but you haven't given me your name."

You mumbled your name out, feeling hot in the face but still not moving an inch from his grasp.

"Such a pretty name," he said, repeating your name, savouring it in his tongue. It sounding pretty coming from his lips and sweet voice, a tingle rushed down your spine.

"So much better than 317."

That was the last thing you said before his lips slid in between yours. A small sigh bubbled up in your chest and you let your eyelids flutter shut as his lips moved in yours.

It was a brief, sweet kiss. But it already had your heart battering against your chest frantically.

"I have to go now," he whispered, still so close to your mouth you felt his lips brush against yours. He placed a small peck on them before pulling away from you.

"Do I... get your number?" you felt stupid asking that.

You saw his back as he walked towards the door to the inside of the building. "Just knock on my door and I'll come by. Or I'll knock on yours, whatever you prefer."

"Mine," you called. "Knock on mine."

Your neighbour pulled the door open and before disappearing inside he placed his free hand up his forehead, saluting at you. "Got it. See you tomorrow then."

Tomorrow.

"What?!" you gasped, but he was already gone.

Most sundays are quiet for you. Since you actually had set a boundary for yourself and made sundays for yourself only. No work calls or mails, and definitely not turning the computer on.

Normally you would've stayed in bed, or go grocery shopping. Whatever you hadn't done during the week you would tend to on your free day.

This sunday however, was different.

A constant buzzing in your head made it nearly impossible to unwind. You even woke up earlier than usual. So you decided to get on with your sunday routine as you normally would.

Said routine consisted in deep cleaning your apartment. Normally you would do the laundry and kept yourself busy tidying up your apartment completely. It wasn't much work, since you lived alone and you considered yourself an organized person.

But today it was a hard task to tackle. You tried to keep your mind away from the memory of your neighbour kissing you softly, tauntingly.

As you were bathing, you laid a plan in your head. You knew you had to relax so, planning your next steps seemed like the best idea to follow down your path to stop your body from being so jittery.

First step was to move your collection of squishmallows to your study. There was a couch in your study so you laid all your squishmallows on it.

Next step was finding the best piece of underwear you had. Now, despite having little to no action in the sex department, you did treat yourself to nice things. So you wore a nice set of panties and bra.

It was nearly 9PM. And you started to actually feel your body burn in anticipation. Joshua didn't say when he would come around, but you thought that it would have to be soon.

Aside from chronic insomnia, you were also a victim to your vivid imagination. You couldn't help but daydream of the things you wanted to do with your neighbour.

His pretty lips on your body, his large hands caressing on your skin...

You let out a frustrated sigh. Joshua wasn't even in your apartment and you were already feeling a little bit impatient. Pathetic. You felt pathetic.

The minutes turned into hours, and you were deeply tempted to just go out and knock on his door like he said you could. But you didn't want to tell on just how desperate you were. If that were even possible still.

At 11PM, you changed into your pyjamas which weren't the bunny ones; just plain blue shorts and a matching top. Feeling embarrassed, but still not sleepy to go to sleep, you decided to wind down in the best way you knew how.

So you were sitting at your couch, playing a videogame with headphones on when you heard a thud over the soothing music of the game.

You removed your headphones, curiously looking at the door. And then you heard it clearly. A knock.

All the plans you had made in your head vanished the moment you saw him.

Scanning him up and down, the very first you noticed that his black hair was wet and pushed back in a relaxed style. He was wearing a white t-shirt along with some black sweatpants.

"Sorry I'm late," was the first thing he said.

"That you are," you pointed but moved aside to let him in since it was nearing midnight and you didn't feel like having a conversation with him at your doorstep.

He crossed your door and noticed the shoe shelf sitting in the entrance and stepped out of his Nike's, leaving them neatly beside your shoes.

You saw him to your living room, where you had abandoned your Switch and headphones. Seeing your neighbour standing in your living room made you feel butterflies in your stomach.

You half expected him to kiss you as soon as he crossed your door. Crashing his lips in yours, his strong arms pinning you to a wall. Like in movies.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting," he said. "Something came up and I didn't have a way to let you know."

"It's okay," you sighed. "I wasn't expecting you'd come."

The pierced brow arched. "Why? I told you I'd come."

"I know," you replied. "I grew tired of waiting."

Your face tingled as he noticed you were ready to go to bed, sending a flush of warmth across your cheeks.

"Mm, I can see that," he noted, taking two steps towards you. "I'm here now. What can I do to make it up to you?"

He stood so close to you that you could catch the smell of his shampoo and soap from his skin.

"I," you gulped feeling your heart beating on your throat, "d-don't know."

He showed a playful smile reached his eyes. "You don't know? This is your idea, miss writer, just tell me what you want."

"I didn't exactly make a list," you muttered, even though secretly you had crafted some fantasies during the time you spent waiting for him to show up.

"Then why don't we just get a feel of each other first?" he suggested, surveying your face as if not knowing how you'll react. "We can get into making your list for next time."

You nodded with your head quietly, and his lower lip pressed up in a cheeky smile. Probably revelling at the reconfirmation that there will be more nights like this. Joshua leaned toward you, one hand on your chin, holding your face up to his.

"Wait," you breathed, and when your hand flew to the middle of his chest, you felt his lean pecs.

He stopped as soon as he heard you. The smile faded and he searched your eyes.

"I uh... haven't done this in a while," you mumbled awkwardly. "Years, actually."

His brow furrowed slightly. "I'm okay with that," he mumbled. "Just tell me what you like and what's off the table."

A sheepish smile appeared on your flushed face. "I've only done vanilla. So... anything's on the table, really. I'm game."

The hand that was on your chin moved down to a shoulder, pushing off from you to look at your frame. "Anything?" his eyebrows arched, his lips smiling. "You can't be serious."

"Why?" you laughed feeling embarrassed.

"You've ever done something other than missionary?" he asked, you could tell he wasn't mocking your sexual experiences or lack there of, he was genuinely curious.

"Uhm, cowgirl," you muttered, your tone sounding off.

He smiled sweetly. "And you really want to try new things in one night?"

"Why, we could just do what you like," you mumbled, feeling a little too eager. It made your cheeks flush again.

"You need a bit more practice for most things I'm into," he put in simply.

"Oh," you blinked.

That made you think what could he possibly be into that you weren't ready for in that moment. But decided not to pry any further yet.

"Have you ever had an orgasm?" he asked suddenly.

"Of course," you blurted out, feeling a rush of blood flow to your cheeks again.

He rolled his big eyes swiftly. "Let me rephrase: has someone ever made you cum?"

Your breath hitched slightly, but just about enough for him to notice. He only nodded with his head when you didn't vocalize an answer.

"That's what I thought," he mumbled, his eyes locked on yours. "If we're going to do this, I think we need to start there."

You coughed up a chuckle, feeling your fingers shake a little on his chest. "And how are you going to do that?"

He lowered his gaze, and you might have felt yourself grow smaller under his curious eyes.

"I think we can find that out together," he whispered. His hand moved from your shoulder, sliding on the crook of your neck and then you felt your self angle your face for his lips.

At first it was only a small peck, his lips captured yours and broke away briefly once. And then they slid in yours expertly, dominating the kiss, you only followed.

As the kiss deepened, your lips became more comfortable in his. Your body felt more relaxed as your other hand joined in, feeling his hard chest through his white t-shirt.

You could almost swear that Joshua felt your heartbeat with his hand on your neck when it circled to the back of your neck, fingers tangling on your hair, pulling you closer. A moan escaped you and your lips parted on his, giving access to his tongue.

Testing, his tongue lapped on yours once, the noise you made only made him repeat the movement again, at the same moment one of your hands slid from his chest to his lats, and you heard his breath shift a little bit.

That gave you a bit of confidence. You pulled your head back, your lips leaving his briefly.

His rosy lips parted a little, but before he could say anything, you took one of his wrists and started to lead him to your bedroom.

The soft warm light from your night stand lamp was just enough for you to see him clearly. But when you got to your bedroom and saw him standing there, your mind went blank again. It was just as if you didn't know what needed to happen next.

Joshua noticed. He smiled under a small sigh, using the wrist you were still grabbing to pull you to his body again. "Come here," he muttered.

Your chest clashed with his with a small yelp from your mouth. The sudden movement startled you a little. But you liked feeling the proximity to his hard body.

"I'll take care of you," he mumbled. "You don't have to do anything, just tell me if you want to stop. Got it?"

A strange warm feeling swarmed inside your chest. "Okay," you breathed.

"We can take it slow," he suggested with a small shrug.

A thought emerged in your head when hearing his words of reassurance. This wasn't what you had expected from the hot rockstar neighbour at all. You had half expected him to throw you in the bed and follow on what you had dreamt about him.

You blinked. "Don't hold back," you blurted out, "I don't want you to."

A chuckle came out of his mouth. "Okay, princess. Whatever you say," he mumbled before cupping your face to kiss you again.

"'m serious," you stuttered in his mouth.

"Get in the bed," his response was also muffled by your lips. His hands found your waist and he gently pushed you, making you take two steps backwards.

You felt your back hit the edge of your high bed and you sat down, at the same moment that Joshua took the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it up his body and dropped it on the floor. Your mind went blank, it happened just as when you had to sit down and write.

Involuntarily, you swallowed thickly at the sight of his bare torso and arms. God, he's so fucking hot, you thought. The t-shirt had ruffled his wet hair a bit, so his hand brushed it back as his eyes found yours.

He approached toward the bed and placed a knee beside you. "Lie back, princess," he muttered softly.

Princess. You felt your skin tingle at the sound of him talking to you in that way. Even hearing him calling you princess was hot. And you were discovering how much your body liked it.

You scooted backwards in your bed until you were in the centre of it, your knees pulled up. Joshua followed you as you moved in your bed, until he stopped before your feet, kneeling on your light-pink duvet.

Lying down on your fluffy pillows, you got a good view of his wide and lean chest and shoulders, his strong arms and his hands as they reached your knees.

With light fingers, he caressed your thighs as he moved them to slot himself between your legs. Your skin prickled under his touch and your eyelids fluttered a bit.

Joshua made notice of your bedroom, as if he was exploring it with his eyes and his eyes fell on your metal bed posts. He smiled slowly, and you could almost see what was formulating in his mind.

"You want to tie me down?" you mumbled.

"Would you like that?" he asked, his head cocking to one side.

"I think so," you muttered sheepishly, body squirming under his gaze impatiently.

His hand cupped your chin, and he leaned down, his free hand sinking on your pillow next to your head as his lips slipped between yours. "I'll keep that in mind, sweetheart. For later."

He continued kissing you, his hand moving from your chin and soon you felt it on the other side of your head in your pillow.

"We can stop whenever you want to. Okay?" he whispered before his lips trailed down your jaw, pressing gentle and wet kisses.

"Okay," you whispered back, closing your eyes when Joshua got to the crook of your neck, planting open mouthed kisses, the brush of his tongue in your skin made you squirm and moan softly in his hear.

A hand crept up your cheek, his lips left the crook of your neck and slipped in your lips sweetly, slowly. You felt your heart racing, thrumming in your neck as his lips parted, and knowingly you gave access to his tongue with a moan from you.

Your hands cradled the back of his neck, pulling him closer as you felt yourself aching under his touch, and under the fast, hot kiss, his tongue sweeping on yours, eliciting moans and whimpers from you.

"That feels good," you muttered when his lips went down on the other side of your neck.

Joshua only hummed softly in response when he heard you, then two of his fingers tugged the neck of your top to leave more open mouthed kisses on your collarbone. You felt your skin prickle, your nipples hardening against the thin fabric of your top.

"Joshua," you whispered, craning your neck to give him more space for him to kiss.

"Mmm?" he hummed again as the tip of his tongue lapped along your collarbones, earning a whimper from you.

When you made no response he stopped kissing your neck and lifted his head to face you properly.

"Undress me," you breathed nervously, your fingers twitched a bit on the back of his neck.

He grinned, planting a small kiss on your chin, and another on your lower lip. His hands grabbed the lower part of your top and tugged it upwards.

"Arch your back for me, princess," he mumbled.

When he removed your top off your body, a hand caressed your bumpy skin, his thumbs playing with your nipples to watch you squirm and moan in pleasure. He knew you liked that, so he bent down and captured one of your nipples with his lips, while the other was still being fumbled between his fingers.

The noises coming from your mouth only egged him on, his tongue circling your nipple and kissing it, sucking gently earning louder moans from you and then he would carry onto doing the same for the other nipple.

The sensations overwhelmed you. The smell of his shampoo on his wet hair as his head bent down to tease your nipples with his mouth, the inevitable response of your body as your skin prickled and your aching core pooled in your panties, throbbing desperately for attention.

You held his body, one hand tangled in his raven black hair and the other down the back of his neck. Breathing hard at the sensation of his tongue swiftly licking your tits, his teeth grazing softly on your skin and tugging to find out whatever made your moans louder, needier.

Kisses trailed down from your sternum all the way down to your belly button, casually lapping your skin with his tongue, tasting your skin as if he was familiarizing with it. You bit your lip down when the sensation of his tongue on your skin sent shivers down your spine, making you squirm in your bed.

You watched him lift his face, his dark eyes finding yours.

"Don't do that," he muttered, a thumb pulling down your lip from your front teeth. "I like hearing you."

"I don't want to be loud," you mumbled shyly.

His eyebrow lifted. "Why?" he smiled playfully. "You can get payback on my roommate now."

You chuckled. "That's rude, Joshua," you said, but considered it for a second.

His lean shoulders shrugged. "I think is fair game."

And then his fingers grabbed at the band of your shorts, his body pulling back on his knees to yank the other piece of your pyjamas down your legs and throwing them away.

"You're so pretty," he muttered, slotting himself between your legs, bending down to deposit a hot kiss on your lips. "So hard for me to say no."

"You're not so bad yourself," you blurted, a shy smile emerging on your lips. "Not bad at all, actually."

He chuckled, a soft sound that made your chest flood with a warm sensation. "D'you like me?"

His question caught you off guard, and for a moment and you hesitated, thinking that he might be teasing you. Then, you took a deep breath and met his gaze.

"Yeah, I do," you admitted with a frustrated sigh. "I like you a lot."

He let out a small giggle. "Oh, really?" he asked as he continued placing sweet pecks on your chin and under your jaw.

"Yeah," you breathed, feeling a bit dazed. "I even had a dream about you once."

He hummed, his head was now between your legs, kissing your inner thighs as his hands caressed your legs with soft touches. "Tell me more about this dream."

"Y-you, oh god," you uttered at the same time his mouth nibbled gently at the soft skin of your thigh, your grip on his hair tightened. "You were in my bed with me."

Joshua lifted his head to find your eyes, the ghost of a smirk showed on his red lips. "Pretty baby had a wet dream of me?" he cooed, his fingers gingerly tugging at the band of your shorts.

You swallowed thickly, seeing his fingers tug at your pjs and nodded.

"Tell me what happened in your dream," he muttered. You could notice he wasn't being a tease now, there was a relaxed tinge in his eyes as he slid your shorts down your legs.

"I–don't remember much," you stuttered a bit, seeing him caress your legs again, his large hands on your skin. "You were beneath my covers and..."

Then two of his fingers slid down between your legs, gently touching your clothed core. The movement was swift, but it had you stuttering and arching your back under the tingling sensation on your core that ached for more.

"God," you whispered, shutting your eyelids tight. "Mmm..."

"What happened next, princess?" he purred, his fingers moving to the last piece of clothing you were wearing, sliding it down your legs slowly, a sticky string of your arousal trickling down your thigh.

"Uhmm," you hummed as you saw him slot himself between your thighs, kissing down your belly, nibbling gently at the soft flesh of your thigh, licking the string of arousal that had trickled on your skin.

You gasped loudly when you felt his hot wet tongue so near your pussy. Your fingers instantly grabbed his dark wet hair. "Y-your face was between my thighs and you were... you were... eating me out."

You caught a glimpse of his smirk, and he shot you a glance with those large, expressive brown eyes. "Like this?" he muttered before bending his head down your core, licking a strip of arousal with his tongue.

Your back arched involuntarily as your words got caught in your throat, followed by a long high keen whimper. "Oh, m'god. Joshua," your voice sounded broken and distant. You felt lost in the movement of his tongue down your soaked core, licking your arousal and teasing your clit with the tip of his tongue. "Yeah, just like that."

His tongue gave a few gentle strokes to your core, teasing and tasing. He hummed while doing it, a sound of approval before pressing his tongue flatly on your sensitive bud, moving his head up and down in small movements, moving his tongue on you.

While he was exploring your cunt with his mouth, you couldn't stop the sounds of your whimpering and moaning coming from your mouth, your body squirming and trembling with every movement of his mouth on you.

"Oh–god," you whimpered, feeling your body move uncontrollably on your bed. You screwed your eyes shut, and tried to calm down but it was just too much.

"What's wrong?" he asked, pulling his mouth from your core with a smacking noise from his lips.

"N-nothing it's just–ahmm," you gulped hard when you felt his breath caress your sensitive clit. "I've never been eaten out before," you managed to get out.

You darted a look at him, his hands were still angling your legs open for him so it was easy for him to dip his head down and plant soft wet kisses on the soft inner side of your thigh.

"Think of how good you're feeling," he muttered softly. "Think of how good you're going to feel when you cum all over my face," he said and then ran his tongue flatly on your thigh.

You squirmed and moaned, the crudeness of his words sent a warm sizzling wave through your body.

"Can you do that, baby? Just relax, let your body lose while I eat your pretty pussy out," he muttered.

Before you could give him a verbal reply, his tongue slid across your folds again, the only response coming out of you was in the form of a loud moan, your fingers tangling on his wet dark hair again.

Then his hands crept on your lower belly to stop you from moving, as his mouth sucked on your clit, nibbling at the soft flesh with his lips, testing you. You moaned again when the tip of his tongue swirled around your clit, but kept commanding your body to lie still and relax.

The sizzling sensation in your body grew, you could savour your release, your face and limbs growing numb as Joshua drew you closer, his mouth ravaging your cunt as if he were hungry for the taste of you. His hands pressing down your belly at the same time the tip of his tongue darted at the bud, swiftly and unstopping.

Your breath hitched and your eyes shot open, your hands clenching at his soft wet hair. "Oh–," you whimpered. "Oh, Joshua. Don't stop. Please, don't s-stop."

Something inside you snapped, and you couldn't hold it any longer. A fiery wave of pleasure took over your body, your limbs succumbing to the warm trembling orgasm.

All you could hear were the sounds of pleasure you made as you were cumming on his mouth. The whimpers and cries, moaning his name until you started panting, his tongue relentlessly flicking your clit until you felt it ache.

Breathless, your fingers relaxed on his hair as you came down your high, his tongue still licking softly at your core, the flickering movement around your clit made you flinch. You sighed hard, noticing there was a small trail of drool in the corner of your mouth.

Joshua saw you wipe your lips with the back of your hand as he climbed on top of your body, licking his chapped lips, still savouring your taste in them. He dipped his head to capture your lips in his, his tongue swiftly making its way to yours so you tasted yourself in his mouth.

A moan bubbled in your chest. You had never tasted yourself in someone else's lips. You tasted slightly salty, almost had no taste at all but there was a taste in his tongue you recognized as yours.

"You taste so fucking sweet, princess," Joshua whispered as he deposited small feathery kisses on your lips.

You hummed, still languid from your orgasm but you could feel your core still spasming a little. "Joshua," you whimpered in his lips.

"Mmm? What's wrong?" he muttered, his hand cupped the side of your face.

"Want more," you muttered, pressing your lips in his.

"We have all night, sweetheart," you felt his lips smile.

"I want you, Joshua," you whispered, feeling shy at your word choice, even though it could still be open to interpretation.

Joshua was lying on his side next to your body. He was still half dressed in his black sweatpants, his bare torso showing his muscly arms, chest and shoulders.

He smiled softly when your fingers traced an invisible line on his collarbones, almost as if they had mind on their own.

"Sure you're okay, sweetheart?" he muttered, capturing your hand in his, his fingers started tangling with yours playfully.

His hand was huge in comparison with yours, the size difference looked almost cute. You nodded. "Yeah. I want to keep going."

Compliant he nodded, his pierced eyebrow lifted slightly. "What do you want me to do?"

Your other hand slid down the back of his head, pulling his face closer to yours. Your lips locked on his, to capture his lower lip with your teeth, grazing, the tip of your tongue looking for his shyly as he moaned softly on your mouth.

"Just take me, Joshua," you whimpered, your lips brushing on his still. "I want you inside me."

He pressed lazy kisses on your lips. "Pretty girl is greedy," he hummed. "Just came on my face and wants to cum again."

You giggled, feeling shy under his teasing. "Stop it," you whispered.

His fingers tangled in your hair as he pulled you into another quick kiss. "I have to get you ready for me first, sweetheart," he mumbled.

Your eyes followed him as he got out of bed, you saw his stocky bare back and the dimples where his muscles bulged in his shoulder blades.

"What d'you mean?" you whispered, searching for his face.

"Are you on birth control?" he asked, his voice was low as he seemed to be appreciating your naked body lying on your bed.

You shook your head. "Mmm, nope," you muttered.

He nodded, seeming knowingly. His hand moved to dig in the pocket of his sweatpants. The only thing he had brought with his person was a pack of condoms, which he placed on your nightstand before removing his sweatpants and stepping out of them.

You hadn't noticed before the big bulge in his pants, but you did now. It looked huge, even if it was still kept inside his underwear. The outline of his hard cock pressed on the stretchy fabric of his black underwear, there was a small wet stain where the tip of his cock rested.

Suddenly you realised that maybe he was a bit too big for your body. Your past lovers, though evidently not many, weren't as big as he was, and you haven't even seen the full length of his cock. You gulped hard.

Joshua climbed back on your high bed, slumping his body beside yours again. He cupped your chin, pressing a chaste kiss on your lips.

"You're so pretty," he muttered with his sweet voice, his eyes studying your face briefly. "I knew I wanted to do this the moment I saw you standing on my doorstep, all grumpy at me in bunny pjs."

"Y-you wanted me?" you stuttered, your face blazing hot.

His lips brushed yours softly, almost kissing but not quite. "I wanted to see you flustered. Wanted to see your pretty face when I make you needy," he muttered on your lips.

You tried replying, but his hand was too distracting, moving from your chin to the apex between your thighs. His ring and middle finger ran down between your pussy lips, sliding in your wetness.

"Then you asked me to fuck you–my pretty neighbour. Never would've imagined that," he sighed almost as if in awe.

You flinched and your eyelids fluttered when the tip of his middle finger slipped in your entrance. Your hands grabbed at his shoulders when Joshua buried his finger inside you. "Oh, my–Joshua."

He bit his lip at the same time he grinned. God, he was insanely hot. "You like that?" he muttered, searching your eyes.

"Yes," you whimpered, feeling hot in the face. "I can take more."

He complied silently. His ring finger slipped along the middle finger, the squelching sounds from your cunt caused by his two fingers as he pumped them inside and out you deliciously.

"You want more?" the corners of his pretty lips rose.

"Please," you whimpered breathily. And you could see that he liked it, hearing your pleas.

"But baby, you're so tight," he replied softly while looking at his hand work on your cunt. "Practically sucking my fingers in."

You bit your lower lip and closed your eyes, feeling his fingers massage your cunt expertly. Whimpers were muffled in your mouth when Joshua crooked his fingers against your soft inner walls, the squelching noise growing even louder.

"I want to hear you, sweetheart," he muttered, and you opened your eyes to see him. You were face to face, since he was lying on his side next to you in your bed, his hand between your thighs, stimulating your pussy, stretching its walls with his fingers.

"Joshua," you whimpered when the palm of his hand pressed on your clit his fingers massaging your walls. The pressure in your body starting to build up.

"Mm?" he hummed, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. Then you felt his fingers scissor inside you, stretching your cunt more.

"Oh, god," you moaned above the sounds of your soaking wet pussy. "Please, Joshua. Fuck me, please. I want to feel you inside me."

His eyes widened slightly, as if something stirred inside his mind every time he heard your pleas for him.

He grinned and kissed your lips before pulling his fingers out of you. You shivered at the loss of stimulation but felt the anticipation rising in your body almost immediately when he stood yet again from your high bed.

"I want you here baby," he placed a hand on the edge of your mattress.

You moved in your bed as he got rid of his underwear, making you stop and freeze when you saw his hardened cock slap his lower abdomen.

It was large and thick, for some reason it looked heavy too, leaning to the side a little bit. You spotted a faint mark of a vein that trailed on the length of it, and that the dark pink tip of his cock looked wet in his precum.

While Joshua grabbed a condom from your nightstand and opened it, you placed your ass at the edge of your high bed, realising that he was just as tall that his hips were just on par with yours.

Joshua rolled down the latex down his thick cock, his hands grabbing your hips to position you so that his cock aligned with your core. He bit his lower lip as he dragged his cockhead across your wet cunt, smearing your pussy lips and clit with it before stopping at your core, the crown of his cockhead teasing you slightly, making your breath hitch.

"Ready, princess?"

"'m ready," you muttered, searching for his big doe eyes, which were wild in lust.

He grabbed your hips, supporting your legs with his arms as he started to push his hips to meet yours, his cock sliding inside your wet gummy walls so slow what you could feel him filling you up inch by inch.

It stung a little. You glanced down at where your bodies were connecting, the sight of his cock disappearing inside your cunt was so arousing that you felt a rush of heat flood inside you. You moaned in both pain and pleasure as he slid himself to the hilt, filling you up so good like you've never been before.

"You're okay?" he asked, his voice taut and breathing hard.

"Yeah," you breathed, lying back down on your bed. "'m fine."

A second later, Joshua started pushing his hips against yours, moving slowly as if he were trying to get you to adjust to him.

"You feel so fucking tight, princess," he gasped softly when he started to move faster. "So good."

He gave you a few shallow thrusts to then hoist your legs up and placed your ankles on his shoulders.

You thought the position was awkward, until Joshua pushed his length in again pressing his hips down on you, making you feel his cock buried fully inside you.

"Ahhmm," you tried to utter, your hands clenched in your duvet as your eyes rolled back. "You feel good too. S-so big."

You heard him chuckle. "All for you, sweetheart," he muttered, his breathy moans became more frequent as he thrusted his cock in and out your cunt in a delicious pace.

You opened your eyes to search his face. He was working on your body as if it were the only thing that mattered, his hands keeping your legs resting on his shoulders, his eyes taking you in, flickering down to where his cock was pushing in and out.

Your eyes followed down your lower belly, where you could feel his cockhead hitting your gummy walls each time he pushed his cock inside you.

Then, his pace started to pick up speed and depth. Almost methodically, as if he already knew you needed it without you having to verbalize it. His thrusts became more forceful–animalistic. His hands gripped your legs tighter, his arms circling on your legs to keep your body in place as he rammed his cock inside you.

Joshua had his eyes closed, his sweaty temple rested on the side of your knee as he bit down his lower lip. "Fuck, princess. You sound so fucking good too."

The lewd sounds coming from your mouth were almost foreign to you, unknown to your ears. Words coiled in your throat, broken moans trying to verbalize just how good he felt inside you. You'd whimper when you felt his cock reaching a glorious spot you didn't know could be reached, every time he hit there you felt yourself sink down in pleasure.

"Joshua, I'm–" you called in a breathy whimper.

"You're going to cum again?" he asked, and groaned softly when you nodded with your head. "Rub your clit for me. I'll cum with you."

Your fingers slipped between your pussy lips, finding your swollen clit and started rubbing, reaching your climax in just a few seconds. Joshua's generous thrusts on you and your fingers working on your clit.

A long moan came came from your mouth as tears sprung from your eyes almost instantly, your walls clenching erratically around his cock as he fucked you relentlessly through your high.

"Oh–Joshua," you whimpered breathlessly. "Fuck! Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck."

Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt your body languidly reach its high, a rush of warmth flowed between your legs. But it was wet–it came gushing out from you, smearing on the soft side of your thighs and onto Joshua's crotch.

He groaned loudly, shoving his cock inside your cunt to his hilt, in and out, until the plunging of his hips became mindless. You opened your eyes to see his face, his furrowed brows, his parted pretty lips and the sweat that covered his face faintly.

God, he's just so fucking pretty.

In languid movements, you removed your hand from your clit and felt your arms slump on your duvet as you tried to catch your breath. Joshua's hips were coming to a stop lazily on yours as you heard him breathe hard as well.

You blinked slowly, and saw him look down his body, sneaking a finger between your bodies to run his fingertip on his pubic hair. "You squirted on me, baby," he muttered in a tone of surprise.

"That's what it was then," you said sounding almost as surprised as him, you glanced down to find that he was covered in a glistening wetness.

His chapped lips rose in a faint smile. "Was it your first?"

You nodded with your head, still feeling breathless. "Yeah," you breathed. "It felt good."

He replied with a nod too. "I know," he panted, his chest rising and coming down in heavy breaths. "So fucking good."

He eased your legs back down on the bed as he slowly pulled out from you.

"My legs are shaking," you whispered feeling embarrassed.

He nodded knowingly, he gently held your shaky legs and motioned you to lie down on the centre of the bed. "I'll get myself cleaned up," he muttered.

"The bathroom is the first door on the left," you muttered unconsciously as you crawled languidly to slump down on your pillows face down.

"I know," he chuckled and walked out your room.

A few moments later, you heard water running, the continuous sound of the stream seemed to calm you down from your high and you decided that you could fall asleep like that, naked in your bed and tired after all the work Joshua put you through.

You don't know how much time passed when you heard Joshua return to your bedroom, but you turned to see him picking up his things from the floor. When he found his underwear, he put it on with one swift movement.

"Leaving already?" you asked.

He lifted his head, you realised that you had startled him. "I just thought you were asleep," he explained. "I can leave if you want."

"Can you stay?" your voice sounded small.

Joshua's face seemed to relax. "Of course," he replied.

You patted the space next to your bed and he smiled softly, climbing on the bed and lying down next to you.

"D'you want to cuddle?" he asked with a small sigh. "I don't know what you like doing for aftercare."

"For what?" you mumbled.

He chuckled. "What did you usually do with your ex partners after sex?" he asked, his curious eyes locking on yours.

You shrugged. "I'd usually leave. Call a taxi, dunno," you replied, frowning. "You?"

"God," he sighed, suddenly sounding disappointed. "Who you've been with?"

"A couple of idiots," you replied flatly.

He rolled his eyes and nodded briefly as if saying 'no shit', but a faint smile rose on his red lips. "Turn around," he instructed gently and you did, turning your back to him.

His strong arms encircled you, pulling you closer to his warm body on the bed. A warm sensation filled your chest, making it hard to breathe.

"This is aftercare?" you mumbled, feeling a bit uneasy.

"You don't like it? We can do summin' else if you want," you felt him shrug behind you.

A small kiss pressed on your shoulder blade, soothing you instantly. Then another, his breath brushed your skin and caused it to prickle.

"This is fine," you mumbled, closing your eyes briefly.

"Kay," he whispered.

After a brief while, it grew quiet in your bedroom. You lied so still that you could feel Joshua's heartbeat against your back, his soft breathing landing on your back.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly. "I didn't ask if I was too hard."

You swallowed. "I'm okay. I liked it hard," you answered sheepishly, in a small voice.

He let out a chuckle. "We're just warming up, princess," he muttered, placing more kisses on your back.

You giggled at the feeling of his lips on places where no one had ever kissed before.

"You're ticklish," he cooed. "Oh, princess. I'm going to have so much fun with you."

Your whole body was set ablaze again, a gentle reminder of what was yet to come.

"I'm glad I asked you to do this," you mumbled with a sigh.

"You do?" he asked, his voice was low but sweet.

"It felt good. I didn't think it would be this good," you sighed, feeling shy again.

Then the tip of his fingers started tracing invisible lines along your back gingerly, as he hummed a tune faintly, almost absentmindedly.

"Mmm, I'm glad you liked it," he sounded distant, and you thought that he might be dozing off. "Was it material you can put into your book?"

You glanced back to find his face, he eyed you playfully, a ghost of a smile in his lips.

"I wasn't thinking of my book," you admitted sheepishly.

"Good," he muttered, his eyes wandering to the rest of your body. "I wanted you to enjoy this."

Then you felt it again. That tingly warmth sensation on your chest, it struck you for a moment, leaving you breathless.

"Why?" you had to ask.

His eyes locked on yours again. "You were nervous," he shrugged. "It was your first time with a stranger, right?"

You nodded briefly.

"Though you did say you like me," the corners of his lips rose. "A lot, if I remember correctly."

You groaned, sinking your face back to your pillow and that made him laugh. "Ohmygod," you mumbled.

The gentle caress of his fingers reached the small of your back and moved to the side of your glute. You heard him sigh softly when your skin prickled, and you could imagine that he was smiling.

"What's wrong, princess?" he asked sweetly. "Were you lying? Was it the heat of the moment?"

You could tell he was teasing you, but the fingers on your skin were too distracting. Even the sound of his voice was alluring.

His fingers moved from your back and found your jaw, he lifted your face from the pillow and you found his eyes. "Mm? Tell me," he insisted.

Was he really that egotistical? You brushed his hand from your jaw and he laughed quietly.

"I wasn't lying," you mumbled sheepishly, feeling like it was easier to be honest.

Joshua's mouth curved into a smile. It looked predilect, as if he found you cute.

He bent down and locked his lips with yours, his hand cupping the side of your face as his lips moved on yours passionately. Then he planted small lazy kisses on your lower lip and chin and went back to cuddling you.

"Joshua?" you muttered.

"Mm?"

You turned in his embrace, finding his face. "I wanna go again," you mumbled sheepishly.

His eyebrows arched up and he laughed. "Right now?"

You nodded, a bit too eagerly. "I want you again. Please?"

Joshua's hand moved to cup your face, his mouth pressed on yours, slowly locking his lips with yours. You parted your lips to give access to his tongue, and he moaned in resignation.

"So hard for me to say no."

✮ a/ns: ahhh this reader is my most personal one because i suffer from insomnia (˘･_･˘) anyway, if you liked this feel free to let me know with a like, reblog, comment, whatever you prefer wink wink

please let me know if you like the songs i suggest at the beginning of the chapters?

if you liked reading this, stay tuned for part ii and check out my other fics from its shared universe! k bye ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

my taglist is open! just send me a message and you'll be tagged for the next one or my other fics!

Joshua for spur magazine ❤️

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[230928] Givenchy SS24 - Paris Fashion Week

21-Ds 🐸 don't edit/crop logo.