The last bit of sanity in your mind vanished the moment before you asked your hot neighbour to be your fuck buddy. Whatever prompted you to muster the courage to get the words out was something you didn't know you had inside you. But he wasn't saying no.
✮ pairings: joshua hong x afab!reader ✮ genre: smut mdni you'll get blocked ✮ word count: 11.8k ✮ aus: rocksinger!joshua (not famous), neighbours with benefits
₊🎧: insomnia - shinee | closer - jihyo ₊ tagging: @aaniag @dkluvrsclub @zezedoesshit @cottoncheol @mindofthescattered @ac1dhao @lovelyhyuka14 @lilsafsafbooyah @agustjin ty for your comments, tags and rbs!! ty lovelies love y'all. tell me if you'd like to be in my forever tag list!! ♡︎ヾ(•ω•`)o ♡ ₊ nsfw warnings under the cut
✮ warnings: smut with plot, softdom!joshua, bigdick!joshua, somewhat inexperienced reader, sex talks, a bit of corruption kink (it'll get worse i promise), instalove(ish), pet names: sweetheart, pretty, baby, princess (hers). a bit of size kink, wet dreams, dirty talk, foul language, making out, oral sex (f), protected sex, squirting, multiple orgasms (f)
A soft thud startled you. What followed then were muffled sounds of a woman crying out and moaning continuously, bed creaking loudly and pushing rhythmically, and then frantically against your bedroom wall.
You groaned.
Lying on your mountains of pillows and squishmallows, you covered your face with your duvet as the moans continued, crying out and being muffled by the walls, but you could still hear them.
It's the second night you hear your neighbours have really loud sex. The first time you didn't mind, since you were deep in a writing session and you have pretty good headphones that cancelled the sounds of your neighbour fucking someone into the walls.
But now there was no way to avoid hearing them.
Given that you'd presented the first rough draft of your manuscript early, you had time to relax for a bit. To the exception that you've pushed yourself so hard lately that your sleep schedule was deeply fucked up and now your body was wide awake during the middle of the night.
You jumped out of your bed and grabbed your coat, scurrying away from the sounds of your neighbours going at it.
You felt somewhat disturbed, but not in the way that anyone would if they hear their neighbours having sex. You felt rattled, as if your neighbours having a good time and not you was the actual problem and not that they were too noisy in the middle of the night.
The only way to the rooftops was through the emergency stairs, so when you got there, you were panting silently. The midnight air cooled you off and brushed your hair gently when you stepped out to the rooftop.
Beyond the door, a wide concrete square stretched off into the distance. Your typical route took you east, where the lookout point offered an impressive view of the city skyline.
The perimeter of the rooftop was lined with a brick mid wall that stood up to chest height, providing a protective barrier along the edges.
You were convinced that you were the only one visiting this place. Since it was vacated every time you came here to wind down and take fresh air away from your computer.
The night was so still that it offered you some solace, it made your imagination run. You loved this piece of tranquillity, the times when you came here in the dead of the night to presence the stillness of the city.
During sleepless nights, you found solace in this place, waiting for the dawn. As the city slowly awoke, you reflected on the ordinary lives of the people, contemplating their daily routines. It gave you some incentive to keep working on your manuscript.
You let an hour pass. It seemed reasonable to you. Drawing from your own lived experiences, an hour was too long but you decided to give your neighbours the benefit of the doubt.
When you returned to your apartment, it was quiet enough to force yourself to sleep. But instead, the hours went by and you stared at the ceiling for while, lying in your bed.
It usually happened this way; whenever you felt like sleep was drawing near, something would snap in your brain and kept you awake until you'd blackout.
Wide awake, you were overcome with a curiosity that led you to wonder about your next-door neighbours. Although you had a vague idea of who lived there, the occasional sounds intrigued you. Sometimes a guy's loud singing would drift through the walls, or you'd hear the casual strumming of a guitar in the middle of the afternoon.
And also, the obvious loud moans of a woman in the middle of the night.
You have never had the chance to meet them, and you were pretty sure that you didn't want to now that you've heard them fuck twice.
It was 7AM the last time you remember looking at the clock before finally falling asleep.
The curtains of your bedroom blocked out the light from outside completely and there wasn't any strange or loud noises that could possibly interrupt your long awaited sleep.
Until you heard someone strumming an electric guitar quite loudly on speakers. The sound came from the next door neighbour, the same you heard last night having really loud sex.
The same chords were strung over and over again, as if rehearsing a tune.
"Oh my god," you muttered under your breath.
Throwing the bed covers away, you jumped out of bed again. A deep feeling of rage boiling inside you when without thinking, you marched outside the hall of your apartment and knocked on the door of your immediate neighbour; loud enough for them to hear it over the guitar speakers.
What followed then was the sound of speakers dying abruptly, a shuffle of steps of someone coming towards the door. A tall man opened it, and you met his face. Big brown eyes looked down at you, while raising one perfect eyebrow.
The rage inside you smouldered down at the sight. You weren't counting on your neighbour being... well, being hot as fuck.
His hair was dark, with a few stray strands gently touching his eyebrows, you noticed the ring adorning one of these. Big eyes were dark and curious, like those of a doe, scanning you up and down. The ghost of a smile adorned his pinkish red lips, hiding his teeth.
"He-hello," you mumbled awkwardly. "I'm your neighbour from 317."
Why wouldn't you just say you were from next door, you didn't know. Probably you were so sleep deprived that you didn't know how to act human anymore.
Your neighbour showed you a kind smile. "Hi. I'm Joshua," he rose a hand and waved friendly. "Can I help you with something?"
"Yeah," you said, but after two seconds added: "can you keep it down, please? I'm trying to sleep."
"Uh, sure. Sorry about that, I was just testing equipment," he said while smiling politely.
You quickly glanced at his strong arms as he crossed them over his chest and leaned against the door frame. You realized he was using his body's motion to check you out too.
The anger inside you dissipated quite quickly and that was good enough of a reason to be angry again. It felt like your brain was short circuiting, struggling to control emotions properly.
"Maybe you could play at a more reasonable hour. Not this early in the morning," you blurted out before you could make sense of your own words.
He chuckled. It wasn't mocking you at all, it was as if he enjoyed being chastised.
"It's 12 PM," he informed while coughing to mask his chuckle.
12 PM? You felt your shoulders slump down a little. You were making a fool of yourself, not only that, you probably looked crazy. Sleep deprived, irritated, standing in your hot neighbour's doorstep wearing bunny pyjamas.
And then, your mouth lost all filter.
"Well, I lost track of time since you couldn't keep it down last night," you accused.
The pierced eyebrow arched up. "Last night?"
"Yes! You were really loud last night!" you felt your cheeks blush.
"Me?" his brow furrowed. And for a minute, you thought he was trying to play dumb.
"Yes! And it's been two weekends in a row now!"
His mouth parted in bewilderment. "Oh, no," he chuckled awkwardly. "I'm afraid that wasn't me."
The heat from your cheeks was so prominent now you swore that it would show on your face and neck.
"Maybe your girlfriend's been cheating on you cause I heard them having really really loud sex!"
His lower lip was still hanging a little, his brow deeply furrowed but he composed himself quickly to say: "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Well, whatever! Just try to be more prudent of your neighbours!" you hushed and then stomped off before you could embarrass yourself any further.
"Prudent," you heard him snort. "Kay. I'll keep it in mind! Nice meeting you!"
As soon as you closed your apartment door you let out a long frustrated groan.
You made your way back to your bed. Slumping down on your pillows and squishmallows to let out yet again another groan.
But your neighbour didn't use his guitar again.
Suffering from chronic insomnia could vary depending on the person experiencing it.
The first time you remember having insomniac nights was when you were in university, pulling all-nighters had affected your sleeping habits and in the aftermath, you'd find yourself waking up in the middle of the night feeling just as energetic to go for a run.
So you've tried a variety of options to counterattack the insomnia. Ranging from sleeping pills, calming teas, meditating, to some more questionable ones.
The one option that you resorted to sometimes when you were feeling up to it, you'd go to the gym. It wasn't as expensive, or addictive and it had good results on your overall wellbeing.
You closed your apartment door, the noise from it echoing along the long dust-smelly hall. As you walked to the elevator, you checked if you brought everything you needed with you, keys, id card, phone, earphones; the latter you already had them on you.
The doors parted and you stepped inside, a shadow followed you closely behind. You turned to see who it was, only to turn back around to face the reflecting doors of the elevator.
From the brief glimpse you caught of him, your attractive neighbour was leaning back against the mirrored elevator wall. He had swapped his earlier attire of washed-up jeans, a black t-shirt, and a denim jacket. He was carrying a large guitar case over one shoulder.
Pretending to be oblivious to his presence, you couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. Sneaking another glance through the mirrored elevator doors, you caught him looking at you briefly, his eyes taking in your entire frame. In the reflection, your eyes met his, and you sensed the corners of his lips rising in a small, knowing smile.
The blood on your cheeks seemed too burn. You bit your lip as you pretended to busy yourself on your phone, changing songs on your playlist frantically until the elevator stopped and you stepped out, rushing to the doors of the building.
The workout session that night was interesting, to say the least. As you were working on the mat, trying to strengthen your abdomen as best as you possibly could, your mind would wander elsewhere, inevitably falling on the thought of your hot neighbour.
You'd think on the way he looked leaning against the elevator wall, the very poise of him was unsettling. And something made you think that he probably knew the effect his looks had on people. Looks and attitude.
Involuntarily, you scoffed quite loudly in the middle of the gym. Like a knee-jerk reaction. Luckily no one seemed to notice you, but you felt embarrassed either way as you continued working out.
That night you had a sound sleep, much thanks to the exercise. It was all going al right until your dream turned into a really unusual one.
Because, you were in your bed, panting, squirming in your bedsheets. Then when you looked down, there was someone with you in the covers, you could see a shapeless someone on top of you under the sheets.
In your dream, you half knew what needed to happen next, as if you were a mere witness of your own wet dream. Your hands grabbed at the covers of the bed at the same time you experienced an orgasm, tensing your body in low whimpers and skin sizzling.
Slowly pulling your covers back you found a man of raven black hair slotted between your thighs, still ravaging your core with his mouth. Intuitively you knew who it was, but couldn't see his face, only the single silver ring adorning his eyebrow.
You woke up abruptly after that, feeling a tingling a rush of warmth in the apex of your thighs. Did you just...? Your hand snapped underneath your panties, fingers digging between your pussy lips to find out that you were pooling, your aching core pulsating in need for more attention.
A groan came out from your mouth. Feeling helpless, you went in and grabbed the drawer from your nightstand to get your vibrator, even though you knew that what you needed was something more than that.
Your thoughts couldn't go pass the fact that you just had a wet dream, one that included your neighbour who you barely knew. You tried to reason with yourself that you're just lonely, he is hot as fuck and been quite literally hammering loud sex into your bedroom wall for two weekends in a row.
Yeah, that sounds reasonable.
The jarring sound coming from the boiling kettle startled you.
You jolted and stood from your couch to turn off the stove. The steam when you poured the boiling water on your travel tea tumbler caressed your face, and you let the smell of peppermint tea leaves in inhaling a big breath.
It had been over a week since you got your manuscript back with all the comments from your editor, letting you know succinctly that now you had a lot of work to do.
But there was a suggestion from your editor and the publishing team in general that left you perplexed for what followed for the rest of the week.
Between all the things that needed fixing in terms of narrative and structure of your manuscript, your team suggested to maybe include some mature sex scenes. You knew from the moment you signed in for this novel that there was a possibility to write in some erotic scenes but it was never settled. And you thought you might have gotten away with it.
But your literary agent and newfound best friend, Yena, told you that it was almost inevitable. Your romance novels have been fine without sex scenes so far, but now that you had signed up for a lengthier fantasy trilogy including vampires, you just had to be more serious about it.
"You can't have sexy vampires without the sex part," Yena told you over the phone.
"Yes I can," you countered, feeling a bit stand offish.
"Your book is already rated for adults with all the violence it has. There is nothing bad with adding a few scenes of your main character getting dicked down."
You sighed and looked up to the ceiling, as if you'd might find some escape there. "You're sounding really ridiculous right now, Yen."
Yena laughed. "I know. This is me trying to convince you. Trust me, this will be great for sales."
"I don't care about sales," you lied a bit. You cared, but it wasn't at the top of your priority list.
"Well, I care. Will you do it for me?" you couldn't see her but you could imagine her big puppy eyes beaming at you.
"I'll work on it. But I can't make any promises."
"Nuh-uh," she tutted. "You pushed so hard to distance yourself from your teenage love romance novels. So now you commit."
"Pffft," you chuckled. "You got it."
"Hey, but take it easy," she suggested. "You're still behind the deadline."
You knew that. But there was an eagerness inside you to get this out in the world. You had been lucky to be picked up for your 'teenage love romance novels', but deep down you always wanted to write something into the fantasy-romance, or romansy, genre.
But now with the evident push in erotica lately, you also knew that this was going to be asked in your books. It was an option at the beginning, but you decided to play dumb about it.
However you couldn't play dumb any further.
So, you hid in the best place you knew. The rooftop was busy with the noise of the big city. Lights from the endless maze of tall buildings shut on and off sporadically. You could see the traffic lights change every few seconds, and cars honking every now and then.
You brought your tumbler with you to sip peppermint tea as the noise from the busy night swarmed your senses, you closed your eyes, taking the night in.
It would be nice to bring a chair.
Before you could react promptly, you picked up some faint noises from behind you, a shuffling of steps and suddenly, you opened your eyes to see your neighbour standing next to you.
"Oh my god," your hand flew to your jolting chest. "You fucking scared me."
He was looking up the sky, a calm expression on his face. When he heard you cuss he turned his smiling gaze to you. "Sorry. I didn't mean to."
"What are you doing here?" you asked, still a bit breathless.
Joshua shrugged, his hands were deep in his pockets. "I wanted to see where you'd go every time you take the stairs."
You eyed his dark frame up and down. Dressed in all black, black converse, jeans, t-shirt and leather jacket. He looked like he was attending a rock concert.
He noticed you eyeing him up, so you quickly had to put in: "You've seen me come here?"
"I only hear you. In the middle of the night, in the morning. You know, from someone who yelled at me for being 'loud', you do slam doors pretty loudly."
Your cheeks burned. "I didn't yell at you," you mumbled. "And you were the one who was really loud."
"It was nearly noon when I was playing," he smiled down at you.
"What about the nights you were loud too?"
"I told you," he pointed. "It wasn't me."
"I heard your girlfriend too," your brow furrowed. "Don't try to tell me that what I heard were two ghosts fucking."
The sound of your neighbor's laughter triggered a response within you. It seemed to intensify the warmth in your cheeks, yet the tightening sensation in your stomach was far more distracting.
"I don't have a girlfriend, 317," he crooned with his sweet voice.
"Well, I heard a woman," you insisted, trying to ignore that he called you by your apartment number. Three-one-seven. Anything could sound pretty coming from his mouth.
"Hasn't it occurred to you that I might have a roommate?" he asked, putting his arms up the border of the rooftop.
"Oh," you bit the inside of your cheek.
"Mmm-huh," he nodded his head once. "I suppose that your room is next to his and the woman you heard is his girlfriend."
"Crap," you muttered under a breath and you shut your eyes. "I am so so sorry."
"It's okay" he smiled politely and ran one of his large hands through his dark hair. "They can be quite loud, though."
"Right?" you murmured. "I'm still sorry you had to see me in such disarray, though."
"Disarray," he chuckled. "Why were you in disarray?"
He emphasized the word in a goofy tone, making you smile a little but you quickly rolled your eyes.
"Sometimes I get insomnia. Most nights actually," you told him simply. "And I'm quite protective of the few hours I do get to sleep."
"Protective is an understatement," he muttered. "More like feisty."
A laugh erupted from your belly. The sound made him look at you again with his smiling eyes.
"She can laugh," he said feigning surprise.
"She is not usually as feisty as you got to see a week ago," you countered. "You just had the misfortune of meeting me in a bad night."
"It wasn't even night time," he chuckled.
"Whatever," you quipped with a childlike tone and his smile grew broader.
The tea was cold when you lifted it to your lips. You poured more into the little pink cup in your tumbler, the steam lifting the city lights.
"So what brings a pretty girl like you here every night? Besides the insomnia" he asked, looking up to the building lights.
You looked at your neighbour. The sound of him calling you pretty shouldn't have the effect it had on you. Your mouth went dry and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten.
"I uh... come here for inspiration," you muttered shyly.
You knew you had zero reasons to trust him but damn, you were lonely.
His eyebrow arched slightly. "Inspiration," he repeated slowly.
"I'm a writer," you mumbled shyly, diverting your gaze from your hot neighbour.
"Oh, I see. Makes sense," he replied shortly.
"Why?"
"You say big boring words," he smirked.
"Big boring words," you blinked. "No I don't. That doesn't say I'm a writer anyway."
"It says that you're just boring, then," he teased.
"I'm not," you whined. "You're a tease."
He laughed, he was enjoying this. "I might be. But at least I don't say disarray, or what was it? Prudent."
"I like big boring words," you grumbled with a pout.
A soft sigh came from your neighbour, he had a small smile on his face.
You drank your cup of tea while it was still hot and poured a little more.
"Am I interrupting your moment of inspiration, then?" he wondered.
"No. I'm actually procrastinating," you sighed. "I have to fix some subplots of my manuscript. I don't even know what to write yet so I came here to escape from it for a bit until I figure it out."
He arched one eyebrow again, his lip popping outwards and nodded. "I'm going to pretend I understood what you just said."
Fuck. He was also cute. The sharp pain in your stomach returned. It irritated you a little that he wasn't actually doing anything and you still thought he was cute. Or hot.
"I... was asked to add sex scenes to my novel," you rolled your eyes again, cringing from embarrassment.
His eyes read your face for a brief moment and you resisted the urge to hide away. You found it a bit amusing that your neighbour didn't seem to shy away from the abrupt shift in the conversation topic at all.
"And... you don't want to?" he mused, his brows almost touching together.
"I don't–well I do want to," you muttered, feeling defeated.
Your neighbour tuned his back to the border of the rooftop and propped his elbows up at his sides.
"I'm confused," he mumbled.
"Apparently it's a trend that guarantees success in the genre I work with. This book deal is important to me and I don't want it to fail just because I can't write a few graphic scenes."
The corners of his lips rose slightly. "How graphic do they have to be? The scenes."
"Well... let's just say I can't just do the 'pan over to the next day' bit," you sighed. "I agreed to write explicit sex scenes and I don't–I can't write them."
With a frustrated groan, you buried your face in your hands. Your heart was beating so hard and loud in your chest that it was also reverberating in your ears.
"Why?" you heard him ask slowly.
You turned your back the same way he had a moment ago, leaning your back against the brick mid wall. "I don't know. I just go blank," you murmured.
The truth is that you lacked first-hand experience.
What little experience you had, it wasn't something you could even put into work for something to write about. And all the times you read explicit erotic scenes, you couldn't even compare it to your experiences, so it seemed more like a fantasy.
You knew you didn't actually require the experience to write, but still it would be a good starting point.
"You lack the inspiration?" your neighbour mused with a grin on his face. He cocked his head to look at you, his dark hair falling away from his forehead a bit.
You gulped.
"Yeah," you sighed, feeling your cheeks burn as you looked up at the night sky.
It grew quiet for a moment, even the busy noise from the city appeared to have died down.
"Well," he said, starting to walk away, "I wish I could help but I have to go to work. Have fun in your little writing adventure, 317."
Your heart still strummed in your ears when you heard yourself say, "Wait!"
Joshua stopped midway through the rooftop and turned to face you.
"You can help me," the words escaped your mouth. "F-find some inspiration."
The tall dark haired man closed the distance between you. His frame was so tall that you had to look up to find his big curious eyes.
"What do you mean?" he cocked his head to the side.
You sighed, trying not to roll your eyes at how ridiculous you felt while asking your neighbour to fuck you. "I need to build up some experience. To write."
The corners of his pretty lips raised as he spoke. "You want to use me to have something to write about?"
"No," you breathed. "I want you to use me."
As soon as the words left your mouth, you felt something in the air between you and him change.
His dark eyes searched your face in disbelief. "You're actually asking me to fuck you."
The tone in his voice was pure awe.
"Yes," you sighed.
"My, you aren't as boring as I imagined you to be," he marvelled, a playful smile on his rosy lips.
The last bit of sanity in your mind vanished the moment before you asked your hot neighbour to be your fuck buddy. Whatever prompted you to muster the courage to get the words out was something you didn't know you had inside you.
But he wasn't saying no.
"For how long?"
"Till I finish the manuscript," you blurted out, feeling a strange reassurance invade your emotions.
His eyes searched your face, their impatience palpable, as though you had triggered a chord of fascination in his mind. "What do I get from this?"
"You get to have your pretty, boring neighbour in any way and whenever you want to," you whispered.
There was a strange feeling of assertiveness that replaced the messy nervousness from a minute ago. For you could no longer ignore the times you'd caught him staring at you. Even in your bunny pyjamas.
As if trying to test you, he grabbed your chin between his thumb and pointer finger. You blinked and gasped at the touch, a mix of emotions invaded you instantly. Your skin prickled.
"I don't even know your name," he narrowed his eyes. "You want me to fuck you but you haven't given me your name."
You mumbled your name out, feeling hot in the face but still not moving an inch from his grasp.
"Such a pretty name," he said, repeating your name, savouring it in his tongue. It sounding pretty coming from his lips and sweet voice, a tingle rushed down your spine.
"So much better than 317."
That was the last thing you said before his lips slid in between yours. A small sigh bubbled up in your chest and you let your eyelids flutter shut as his lips moved in yours.
It was a brief, sweet kiss. But it already had your heart battering against your chest frantically.
"I have to go now," he whispered, still so close to your mouth you felt his lips brush against yours. He placed a small peck on them before pulling away from you.
"Do I... get your number?" you felt stupid asking that.
You saw his back as he walked towards the door to the inside of the building. "Just knock on my door and I'll come by. Or I'll knock on yours, whatever you prefer."
"Mine," you called. "Knock on mine."
Your neighbour pulled the door open and before disappearing inside he placed his free hand up his forehead, saluting at you. "Got it. See you tomorrow then."
Tomorrow.
"What?!" you gasped, but he was already gone.
Most sundays are quiet for you. Since you actually had set a boundary for yourself and made sundays for yourself only. No work calls or mails, and definitely not turning the computer on.
Normally you would've stayed in bed, or go grocery shopping. Whatever you hadn't done during the week you would tend to on your free day.
This sunday however, was different.
A constant buzzing in your head made it nearly impossible to unwind. You even woke up earlier than usual. So you decided to get on with your sunday routine as you normally would.
Said routine consisted in deep cleaning your apartment. Normally you would do the laundry and kept yourself busy tidying up your apartment completely. It wasn't much work, since you lived alone and you considered yourself an organized person.
But today it was a hard task to tackle. You tried to keep your mind away from the memory of your neighbour kissing you softly, tauntingly.
As you were bathing, you laid a plan in your head. You knew you had to relax so, planning your next steps seemed like the best idea to follow down your path to stop your body from being so jittery.
First step was to move your collection of squishmallows to your study. There was a couch in your study so you laid all your squishmallows on it.
Next step was finding the best piece of underwear you had. Now, despite having little to no action in the sex department, you did treat yourself to nice things. So you wore a nice set of panties and bra.
It was nearly 9PM. And you started to actually feel your body burn in anticipation. Joshua didn't say when he would come around, but you thought that it would have to be soon.
Aside from chronic insomnia, you were also a victim to your vivid imagination. You couldn't help but daydream of the things you wanted to do with your neighbour.
His pretty lips on your body, his large hands caressing on your skin...
You let out a frustrated sigh. Joshua wasn't even in your apartment and you were already feeling a little bit impatient. Pathetic. You felt pathetic.
The minutes turned into hours, and you were deeply tempted to just go out and knock on his door like he said you could. But you didn't want to tell on just how desperate you were. If that were even possible still.
At 11PM, you changed into your pyjamas which weren't the bunny ones; just plain blue shorts and a matching top. Feeling embarrassed, but still not sleepy to go to sleep, you decided to wind down in the best way you knew how.
So you were sitting at your couch, playing a videogame with headphones on when you heard a thud over the soothing music of the game.
You removed your headphones, curiously looking at the door. And then you heard it clearly. A knock.
All the plans you had made in your head vanished the moment you saw him.
Scanning him up and down, the very first you noticed that his black hair was wet and pushed back in a relaxed style. He was wearing a white t-shirt along with some black sweatpants.
"Sorry I'm late," was the first thing he said.
"That you are," you pointed but moved aside to let him in since it was nearing midnight and you didn't feel like having a conversation with him at your doorstep.
He crossed your door and noticed the shoe shelf sitting in the entrance and stepped out of his Nike's, leaving them neatly beside your shoes.
You saw him to your living room, where you had abandoned your Switch and headphones. Seeing your neighbour standing in your living room made you feel butterflies in your stomach.
You half expected him to kiss you as soon as he crossed your door. Crashing his lips in yours, his strong arms pinning you to a wall. Like in movies.
"I'm sorry to keep you waiting," he said. "Something came up and I didn't have a way to let you know."
"It's okay," you sighed. "I wasn't expecting you'd come."
The pierced brow arched. "Why? I told you I'd come."
"I know," you replied. "I grew tired of waiting."
Your face tingled as he noticed you were ready to go to bed, sending a flush of warmth across your cheeks.
"Mm, I can see that," he noted, taking two steps towards you. "I'm here now. What can I do to make it up to you?"
He stood so close to you that you could catch the smell of his shampoo and soap from his skin.
"I," you gulped feeling your heart beating on your throat, "d-don't know."
He showed a playful smile reached his eyes. "You don't know? This is your idea, miss writer, just tell me what you want."
"I didn't exactly make a list," you muttered, even though secretly you had crafted some fantasies during the time you spent waiting for him to show up.
"Then why don't we just get a feel of each other first?" he suggested, surveying your face as if not knowing how you'll react. "We can get into making your list for next time."
You nodded with your head quietly, and his lower lip pressed up in a cheeky smile. Probably revelling at the reconfirmation that there will be more nights like this. Joshua leaned toward you, one hand on your chin, holding your face up to his.
"Wait," you breathed, and when your hand flew to the middle of his chest, you felt his lean pecs.
He stopped as soon as he heard you. The smile faded and he searched your eyes.
"I uh... haven't done this in a while," you mumbled awkwardly. "Years, actually."
His brow furrowed slightly. "I'm okay with that," he mumbled. "Just tell me what you like and what's off the table."
A sheepish smile appeared on your flushed face. "I've only done vanilla. So... anything's on the table, really. I'm game."
The hand that was on your chin moved down to a shoulder, pushing off from you to look at your frame. "Anything?" his eyebrows arched, his lips smiling. "You can't be serious."
"Why?" you laughed feeling embarrassed.
"You've ever done something other than missionary?" he asked, you could tell he wasn't mocking your sexual experiences or lack there of, he was genuinely curious.
"Uhm, cowgirl," you muttered, your tone sounding off.
He smiled sweetly. "And you really want to try new things in one night?"
"Why, we could just do what you like," you mumbled, feeling a little too eager. It made your cheeks flush again.
"You need a bit more practice for most things I'm into," he put in simply.
"Oh," you blinked.
That made you think what could he possibly be into that you weren't ready for in that moment. But decided not to pry any further yet.
"Have you ever had an orgasm?" he asked suddenly.
"Of course," you blurted out, feeling a rush of blood flow to your cheeks again.
He rolled his big eyes swiftly. "Let me rephrase: has someone ever made you cum?"
Your breath hitched slightly, but just about enough for him to notice. He only nodded with his head when you didn't vocalize an answer.
"That's what I thought," he mumbled, his eyes locked on yours. "If we're going to do this, I think we need to start there."
You coughed up a chuckle, feeling your fingers shake a little on his chest. "And how are you going to do that?"
He lowered his gaze, and you might have felt yourself grow smaller under his curious eyes.
"I think we can find that out together," he whispered. His hand moved from your shoulder, sliding on the crook of your neck and then you felt your self angle your face for his lips.
At first it was only a small peck, his lips captured yours and broke away briefly once. And then they slid in yours expertly, dominating the kiss, you only followed.
As the kiss deepened, your lips became more comfortable in his. Your body felt more relaxed as your other hand joined in, feeling his hard chest through his white t-shirt.
You could almost swear that Joshua felt your heartbeat with his hand on your neck when it circled to the back of your neck, fingers tangling on your hair, pulling you closer. A moan escaped you and your lips parted on his, giving access to his tongue.
Testing, his tongue lapped on yours once, the noise you made only made him repeat the movement again, at the same moment one of your hands slid from his chest to his lats, and you heard his breath shift a little bit.
That gave you a bit of confidence. You pulled your head back, your lips leaving his briefly.
His rosy lips parted a little, but before he could say anything, you took one of his wrists and started to lead him to your bedroom.
The soft warm light from your night stand lamp was just enough for you to see him clearly. But when you got to your bedroom and saw him standing there, your mind went blank again. It was just as if you didn't know what needed to happen next.
Joshua noticed. He smiled under a small sigh, using the wrist you were still grabbing to pull you to his body again. "Come here," he muttered.
Your chest clashed with his with a small yelp from your mouth. The sudden movement startled you a little. But you liked feeling the proximity to his hard body.
"I'll take care of you," he mumbled. "You don't have to do anything, just tell me if you want to stop. Got it?"
A strange warm feeling swarmed inside your chest. "Okay," you breathed.
"We can take it slow," he suggested with a small shrug.
A thought emerged in your head when hearing his words of reassurance. This wasn't what you had expected from the hot rockstar neighbour at all. You had half expected him to throw you in the bed and follow on what you had dreamt about him.
You blinked. "Don't hold back," you blurted out, "I don't want you to."
A chuckle came out of his mouth. "Okay, princess. Whatever you say," he mumbled before cupping your face to kiss you again.
"'m serious," you stuttered in his mouth.
"Get in the bed," his response was also muffled by your lips. His hands found your waist and he gently pushed you, making you take two steps backwards.
You felt your back hit the edge of your high bed and you sat down, at the same moment that Joshua took the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it up his body and dropped it on the floor. Your mind went blank, it happened just as when you had to sit down and write.
Involuntarily, you swallowed thickly at the sight of his bare torso and arms. God, he's so fucking hot, you thought. The t-shirt had ruffled his wet hair a bit, so his hand brushed it back as his eyes found yours.
He approached toward the bed and placed a knee beside you. "Lie back, princess," he muttered softly.
Princess. You felt your skin tingle at the sound of him talking to you in that way. Even hearing him calling you princess was hot. And you were discovering how much your body liked it.
You scooted backwards in your bed until you were in the centre of it, your knees pulled up. Joshua followed you as you moved in your bed, until he stopped before your feet, kneeling on your light-pink duvet.
Lying down on your fluffy pillows, you got a good view of his wide and lean chest and shoulders, his strong arms and his hands as they reached your knees.
With light fingers, he caressed your thighs as he moved them to slot himself between your legs. Your skin prickled under his touch and your eyelids fluttered a bit.
Joshua made notice of your bedroom, as if he was exploring it with his eyes and his eyes fell on your metal bed posts. He smiled slowly, and you could almost see what was formulating in his mind.
"You want to tie me down?" you mumbled.
"Would you like that?" he asked, his head cocking to one side.
"I think so," you muttered sheepishly, body squirming under his gaze impatiently.
His hand cupped your chin, and he leaned down, his free hand sinking on your pillow next to your head as his lips slipped between yours. "I'll keep that in mind, sweetheart. For later."
He continued kissing you, his hand moving from your chin and soon you felt it on the other side of your head in your pillow.
"We can stop whenever you want to. Okay?" he whispered before his lips trailed down your jaw, pressing gentle and wet kisses.
"Okay," you whispered back, closing your eyes when Joshua got to the crook of your neck, planting open mouthed kisses, the brush of his tongue in your skin made you squirm and moan softly in his hear.
A hand crept up your cheek, his lips left the crook of your neck and slipped in your lips sweetly, slowly. You felt your heart racing, thrumming in your neck as his lips parted, and knowingly you gave access to his tongue with a moan from you.
Your hands cradled the back of his neck, pulling him closer as you felt yourself aching under his touch, and under the fast, hot kiss, his tongue sweeping on yours, eliciting moans and whimpers from you.
"That feels good," you muttered when his lips went down on the other side of your neck.
Joshua only hummed softly in response when he heard you, then two of his fingers tugged the neck of your top to leave more open mouthed kisses on your collarbone. You felt your skin prickle, your nipples hardening against the thin fabric of your top.
"Joshua," you whispered, craning your neck to give him more space for him to kiss.
"Mmm?" he hummed again as the tip of his tongue lapped along your collarbones, earning a whimper from you.
When you made no response he stopped kissing your neck and lifted his head to face you properly.
"Undress me," you breathed nervously, your fingers twitched a bit on the back of his neck.
He grinned, planting a small kiss on your chin, and another on your lower lip. His hands grabbed the lower part of your top and tugged it upwards.
"Arch your back for me, princess," he mumbled.
When he removed your top off your body, a hand caressed your bumpy skin, his thumbs playing with your nipples to watch you squirm and moan in pleasure. He knew you liked that, so he bent down and captured one of your nipples with his lips, while the other was still being fumbled between his fingers.
The noises coming from your mouth only egged him on, his tongue circling your nipple and kissing it, sucking gently earning louder moans from you and then he would carry onto doing the same for the other nipple.
The sensations overwhelmed you. The smell of his shampoo on his wet hair as his head bent down to tease your nipples with his mouth, the inevitable response of your body as your skin prickled and your aching core pooled in your panties, throbbing desperately for attention.
You held his body, one hand tangled in his raven black hair and the other down the back of his neck. Breathing hard at the sensation of his tongue swiftly licking your tits, his teeth grazing softly on your skin and tugging to find out whatever made your moans louder, needier.
Kisses trailed down from your sternum all the way down to your belly button, casually lapping your skin with his tongue, tasting your skin as if he was familiarizing with it. You bit your lip down when the sensation of his tongue on your skin sent shivers down your spine, making you squirm in your bed.
You watched him lift his face, his dark eyes finding yours.
"Don't do that," he muttered, a thumb pulling down your lip from your front teeth. "I like hearing you."
"I don't want to be loud," you mumbled shyly.
His eyebrow lifted. "Why?" he smiled playfully. "You can get payback on my roommate now."
You chuckled. "That's rude, Joshua," you said, but considered it for a second.
His lean shoulders shrugged. "I think is fair game."
And then his fingers grabbed at the band of your shorts, his body pulling back on his knees to yank the other piece of your pyjamas down your legs and throwing them away.
"You're so pretty," he muttered, slotting himself between your legs, bending down to deposit a hot kiss on your lips. "So hard for me to say no."
"You're not so bad yourself," you blurted, a shy smile emerging on your lips. "Not bad at all, actually."
He chuckled, a soft sound that made your chest flood with a warm sensation. "D'you like me?"
His question caught you off guard, and for a moment and you hesitated, thinking that he might be teasing you. Then, you took a deep breath and met his gaze.
"Yeah, I do," you admitted with a frustrated sigh. "I like you a lot."
He let out a small giggle. "Oh, really?" he asked as he continued placing sweet pecks on your chin and under your jaw.
"Yeah," you breathed, feeling a bit dazed. "I even had a dream about you once."
He hummed, his head was now between your legs, kissing your inner thighs as his hands caressed your legs with soft touches. "Tell me more about this dream."
"Y-you, oh god," you uttered at the same time his mouth nibbled gently at the soft skin of your thigh, your grip on his hair tightened. "You were in my bed with me."
Joshua lifted his head to find your eyes, the ghost of a smirk showed on his red lips. "Pretty baby had a wet dream of me?" he cooed, his fingers gingerly tugging at the band of your shorts.
You swallowed thickly, seeing his fingers tug at your pjs and nodded.
"Tell me what happened in your dream," he muttered. You could notice he wasn't being a tease now, there was a relaxed tinge in his eyes as he slid your shorts down your legs.
"I–don't remember much," you stuttered a bit, seeing him caress your legs again, his large hands on your skin. "You were beneath my covers and..."
Then two of his fingers slid down between your legs, gently touching your clothed core. The movement was swift, but it had you stuttering and arching your back under the tingling sensation on your core that ached for more.
"God," you whispered, shutting your eyelids tight. "Mmm..."
"What happened next, princess?" he purred, his fingers moving to the last piece of clothing you were wearing, sliding it down your legs slowly, a sticky string of your arousal trickling down your thigh.
"Uhmm," you hummed as you saw him slot himself between your thighs, kissing down your belly, nibbling gently at the soft flesh of your thigh, licking the string of arousal that had trickled on your skin.
You gasped loudly when you felt his hot wet tongue so near your pussy. Your fingers instantly grabbed his dark wet hair. "Y-your face was between my thighs and you were... you were... eating me out."
You caught a glimpse of his smirk, and he shot you a glance with those large, expressive brown eyes. "Like this?" he muttered before bending his head down your core, licking a strip of arousal with his tongue.
Your back arched involuntarily as your words got caught in your throat, followed by a long high keen whimper. "Oh, m'god. Joshua," your voice sounded broken and distant. You felt lost in the movement of his tongue down your soaked core, licking your arousal and teasing your clit with the tip of his tongue. "Yeah, just like that."
His tongue gave a few gentle strokes to your core, teasing and tasing. He hummed while doing it, a sound of approval before pressing his tongue flatly on your sensitive bud, moving his head up and down in small movements, moving his tongue on you.
While he was exploring your cunt with his mouth, you couldn't stop the sounds of your whimpering and moaning coming from your mouth, your body squirming and trembling with every movement of his mouth on you.
"Oh–god," you whimpered, feeling your body move uncontrollably on your bed. You screwed your eyes shut, and tried to calm down but it was just too much.
"What's wrong?" he asked, pulling his mouth from your core with a smacking noise from his lips.
"N-nothing it's just–ahmm," you gulped hard when you felt his breath caress your sensitive clit. "I've never been eaten out before," you managed to get out.
You darted a look at him, his hands were still angling your legs open for him so it was easy for him to dip his head down and plant soft wet kisses on the soft inner side of your thigh.
"Think of how good you're feeling," he muttered softly. "Think of how good you're going to feel when you cum all over my face," he said and then ran his tongue flatly on your thigh.
You squirmed and moaned, the crudeness of his words sent a warm sizzling wave through your body.
"Can you do that, baby? Just relax, let your body lose while I eat your pretty pussy out," he muttered.
Before you could give him a verbal reply, his tongue slid across your folds again, the only response coming out of you was in the form of a loud moan, your fingers tangling on his wet dark hair again.
Then his hands crept on your lower belly to stop you from moving, as his mouth sucked on your clit, nibbling at the soft flesh with his lips, testing you. You moaned again when the tip of his tongue swirled around your clit, but kept commanding your body to lie still and relax.
The sizzling sensation in your body grew, you could savour your release, your face and limbs growing numb as Joshua drew you closer, his mouth ravaging your cunt as if he were hungry for the taste of you. His hands pressing down your belly at the same time the tip of his tongue darted at the bud, swiftly and unstopping.
Your breath hitched and your eyes shot open, your hands clenching at his soft wet hair. "Oh–," you whimpered. "Oh, Joshua. Don't stop. Please, don't s-stop."
Something inside you snapped, and you couldn't hold it any longer. A fiery wave of pleasure took over your body, your limbs succumbing to the warm trembling orgasm.
All you could hear were the sounds of pleasure you made as you were cumming on his mouth. The whimpers and cries, moaning his name until you started panting, his tongue relentlessly flicking your clit until you felt it ache.
Breathless, your fingers relaxed on his hair as you came down your high, his tongue still licking softly at your core, the flickering movement around your clit made you flinch. You sighed hard, noticing there was a small trail of drool in the corner of your mouth.
Joshua saw you wipe your lips with the back of your hand as he climbed on top of your body, licking his chapped lips, still savouring your taste in them. He dipped his head to capture your lips in his, his tongue swiftly making its way to yours so you tasted yourself in his mouth.
A moan bubbled in your chest. You had never tasted yourself in someone else's lips. You tasted slightly salty, almost had no taste at all but there was a taste in his tongue you recognized as yours.
"You taste so fucking sweet, princess," Joshua whispered as he deposited small feathery kisses on your lips.
You hummed, still languid from your orgasm but you could feel your core still spasming a little. "Joshua," you whimpered in his lips.
"Mmm? What's wrong?" he muttered, his hand cupped the side of your face.
"Want more," you muttered, pressing your lips in his.
"We have all night, sweetheart," you felt his lips smile.
"I want you, Joshua," you whispered, feeling shy at your word choice, even though it could still be open to interpretation.
Joshua was lying on his side next to your body. He was still half dressed in his black sweatpants, his bare torso showing his muscly arms, chest and shoulders.
He smiled softly when your fingers traced an invisible line on his collarbones, almost as if they had mind on their own.
"Sure you're okay, sweetheart?" he muttered, capturing your hand in his, his fingers started tangling with yours playfully.
His hand was huge in comparison with yours, the size difference looked almost cute. You nodded. "Yeah. I want to keep going."
Compliant he nodded, his pierced eyebrow lifted slightly. "What do you want me to do?"
Your other hand slid down the back of his head, pulling his face closer to yours. Your lips locked on his, to capture his lower lip with your teeth, grazing, the tip of your tongue looking for his shyly as he moaned softly on your mouth.
"Just take me, Joshua," you whimpered, your lips brushing on his still. "I want you inside me."
He pressed lazy kisses on your lips. "Pretty girl is greedy," he hummed. "Just came on my face and wants to cum again."
You giggled, feeling shy under his teasing. "Stop it," you whispered.
His fingers tangled in your hair as he pulled you into another quick kiss. "I have to get you ready for me first, sweetheart," he mumbled.
Your eyes followed him as he got out of bed, you saw his stocky bare back and the dimples where his muscles bulged in his shoulder blades.
"What d'you mean?" you whispered, searching for his face.
"Are you on birth control?" he asked, his voice was low as he seemed to be appreciating your naked body lying on your bed.
You shook your head. "Mmm, nope," you muttered.
He nodded, seeming knowingly. His hand moved to dig in the pocket of his sweatpants. The only thing he had brought with his person was a pack of condoms, which he placed on your nightstand before removing his sweatpants and stepping out of them.
You hadn't noticed before the big bulge in his pants, but you did now. It looked huge, even if it was still kept inside his underwear. The outline of his hard cock pressed on the stretchy fabric of his black underwear, there was a small wet stain where the tip of his cock rested.
Suddenly you realised that maybe he was a bit too big for your body. Your past lovers, though evidently not many, weren't as big as he was, and you haven't even seen the full length of his cock. You gulped hard.
Joshua climbed back on your high bed, slumping his body beside yours again. He cupped your chin, pressing a chaste kiss on your lips.
"You're so pretty," he muttered with his sweet voice, his eyes studying your face briefly. "I knew I wanted to do this the moment I saw you standing on my doorstep, all grumpy at me in bunny pjs."
"Y-you wanted me?" you stuttered, your face blazing hot.
His lips brushed yours softly, almost kissing but not quite. "I wanted to see you flustered. Wanted to see your pretty face when I make you needy," he muttered on your lips.
You tried replying, but his hand was too distracting, moving from your chin to the apex between your thighs. His ring and middle finger ran down between your pussy lips, sliding in your wetness.
"Then you asked me to fuck you–my pretty neighbour. Never would've imagined that," he sighed almost as if in awe.
You flinched and your eyelids fluttered when the tip of his middle finger slipped in your entrance. Your hands grabbed at his shoulders when Joshua buried his finger inside you. "Oh, my–Joshua."
He bit his lip at the same time he grinned. God, he was insanely hot. "You like that?" he muttered, searching your eyes.
"Yes," you whimpered, feeling hot in the face. "I can take more."
He complied silently. His ring finger slipped along the middle finger, the squelching sounds from your cunt caused by his two fingers as he pumped them inside and out you deliciously.
"You want more?" the corners of his pretty lips rose.
"Please," you whimpered breathily. And you could see that he liked it, hearing your pleas.
"But baby, you're so tight," he replied softly while looking at his hand work on your cunt. "Practically sucking my fingers in."
You bit your lower lip and closed your eyes, feeling his fingers massage your cunt expertly. Whimpers were muffled in your mouth when Joshua crooked his fingers against your soft inner walls, the squelching noise growing even louder.
"I want to hear you, sweetheart," he muttered, and you opened your eyes to see him. You were face to face, since he was lying on his side next to you in your bed, his hand between your thighs, stimulating your pussy, stretching its walls with his fingers.
"Joshua," you whimpered when the palm of his hand pressed on your clit his fingers massaging your walls. The pressure in your body starting to build up.
"Mm?" he hummed, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. Then you felt his fingers scissor inside you, stretching your cunt more.
"Oh, god," you moaned above the sounds of your soaking wet pussy. "Please, Joshua. Fuck me, please. I want to feel you inside me."
His eyes widened slightly, as if something stirred inside his mind every time he heard your pleas for him.
He grinned and kissed your lips before pulling his fingers out of you. You shivered at the loss of stimulation but felt the anticipation rising in your body almost immediately when he stood yet again from your high bed.
"I want you here baby," he placed a hand on the edge of your mattress.
You moved in your bed as he got rid of his underwear, making you stop and freeze when you saw his hardened cock slap his lower abdomen.
It was large and thick, for some reason it looked heavy too, leaning to the side a little bit. You spotted a faint mark of a vein that trailed on the length of it, and that the dark pink tip of his cock looked wet in his precum.
While Joshua grabbed a condom from your nightstand and opened it, you placed your ass at the edge of your high bed, realising that he was just as tall that his hips were just on par with yours.
Joshua rolled down the latex down his thick cock, his hands grabbing your hips to position you so that his cock aligned with your core. He bit his lower lip as he dragged his cockhead across your wet cunt, smearing your pussy lips and clit with it before stopping at your core, the crown of his cockhead teasing you slightly, making your breath hitch.
"Ready, princess?"
"'m ready," you muttered, searching for his big doe eyes, which were wild in lust.
He grabbed your hips, supporting your legs with his arms as he started to push his hips to meet yours, his cock sliding inside your wet gummy walls so slow what you could feel him filling you up inch by inch.
It stung a little. You glanced down at where your bodies were connecting, the sight of his cock disappearing inside your cunt was so arousing that you felt a rush of heat flood inside you. You moaned in both pain and pleasure as he slid himself to the hilt, filling you up so good like you've never been before.
"You're okay?" he asked, his voice taut and breathing hard.
"Yeah," you breathed, lying back down on your bed. "'m fine."
A second later, Joshua started pushing his hips against yours, moving slowly as if he were trying to get you to adjust to him.
"You feel so fucking tight, princess," he gasped softly when he started to move faster. "So good."
He gave you a few shallow thrusts to then hoist your legs up and placed your ankles on his shoulders.
You thought the position was awkward, until Joshua pushed his length in again pressing his hips down on you, making you feel his cock buried fully inside you.
"Ahhmm," you tried to utter, your hands clenched in your duvet as your eyes rolled back. "You feel good too. S-so big."
You heard him chuckle. "All for you, sweetheart," he muttered, his breathy moans became more frequent as he thrusted his cock in and out your cunt in a delicious pace.
You opened your eyes to search his face. He was working on your body as if it were the only thing that mattered, his hands keeping your legs resting on his shoulders, his eyes taking you in, flickering down to where his cock was pushing in and out.
Your eyes followed down your lower belly, where you could feel his cockhead hitting your gummy walls each time he pushed his cock inside you.
Then, his pace started to pick up speed and depth. Almost methodically, as if he already knew you needed it without you having to verbalize it. His thrusts became more forceful–animalistic. His hands gripped your legs tighter, his arms circling on your legs to keep your body in place as he rammed his cock inside you.
Joshua had his eyes closed, his sweaty temple rested on the side of your knee as he bit down his lower lip. "Fuck, princess. You sound so fucking good too."
The lewd sounds coming from your mouth were almost foreign to you, unknown to your ears. Words coiled in your throat, broken moans trying to verbalize just how good he felt inside you. You'd whimper when you felt his cock reaching a glorious spot you didn't know could be reached, every time he hit there you felt yourself sink down in pleasure.
"Joshua, I'm–" you called in a breathy whimper.
"You're going to cum again?" he asked, and groaned softly when you nodded with your head. "Rub your clit for me. I'll cum with you."
Your fingers slipped between your pussy lips, finding your swollen clit and started rubbing, reaching your climax in just a few seconds. Joshua's generous thrusts on you and your fingers working on your clit.
A long moan came came from your mouth as tears sprung from your eyes almost instantly, your walls clenching erratically around his cock as he fucked you relentlessly through your high.
"Oh–Joshua," you whimpered breathlessly. "Fuck! Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck."
Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt your body languidly reach its high, a rush of warmth flowed between your legs. But it was wet–it came gushing out from you, smearing on the soft side of your thighs and onto Joshua's crotch.
He groaned loudly, shoving his cock inside your cunt to his hilt, in and out, until the plunging of his hips became mindless. You opened your eyes to see his face, his furrowed brows, his parted pretty lips and the sweat that covered his face faintly.
God, he's just so fucking pretty.
In languid movements, you removed your hand from your clit and felt your arms slump on your duvet as you tried to catch your breath. Joshua's hips were coming to a stop lazily on yours as you heard him breathe hard as well.
You blinked slowly, and saw him look down his body, sneaking a finger between your bodies to run his fingertip on his pubic hair. "You squirted on me, baby," he muttered in a tone of surprise.
"That's what it was then," you said sounding almost as surprised as him, you glanced down to find that he was covered in a glistening wetness.
His chapped lips rose in a faint smile. "Was it your first?"
You nodded with your head, still feeling breathless. "Yeah," you breathed. "It felt good."
He replied with a nod too. "I know," he panted, his chest rising and coming down in heavy breaths. "So fucking good."
He eased your legs back down on the bed as he slowly pulled out from you.
"My legs are shaking," you whispered feeling embarrassed.
He nodded knowingly, he gently held your shaky legs and motioned you to lie down on the centre of the bed. "I'll get myself cleaned up," he muttered.
"The bathroom is the first door on the left," you muttered unconsciously as you crawled languidly to slump down on your pillows face down.
"I know," he chuckled and walked out your room.
A few moments later, you heard water running, the continuous sound of the stream seemed to calm you down from your high and you decided that you could fall asleep like that, naked in your bed and tired after all the work Joshua put you through.
You don't know how much time passed when you heard Joshua return to your bedroom, but you turned to see him picking up his things from the floor. When he found his underwear, he put it on with one swift movement.
"Leaving already?" you asked.
He lifted his head, you realised that you had startled him. "I just thought you were asleep," he explained. "I can leave if you want."
"Can you stay?" your voice sounded small.
Joshua's face seemed to relax. "Of course," he replied.
You patted the space next to your bed and he smiled softly, climbing on the bed and lying down next to you.
"D'you want to cuddle?" he asked with a small sigh. "I don't know what you like doing for aftercare."
"For what?" you mumbled.
He chuckled. "What did you usually do with your ex partners after sex?" he asked, his curious eyes locking on yours.
You shrugged. "I'd usually leave. Call a taxi, dunno," you replied, frowning. "You?"
"God," he sighed, suddenly sounding disappointed. "Who you've been with?"
"A couple of idiots," you replied flatly.
He rolled his eyes and nodded briefly as if saying 'no shit', but a faint smile rose on his red lips. "Turn around," he instructed gently and you did, turning your back to him.
His strong arms encircled you, pulling you closer to his warm body on the bed. A warm sensation filled your chest, making it hard to breathe.
"This is aftercare?" you mumbled, feeling a bit uneasy.
"You don't like it? We can do summin' else if you want," you felt him shrug behind you.
A small kiss pressed on your shoulder blade, soothing you instantly. Then another, his breath brushed your skin and caused it to prickle.
"This is fine," you mumbled, closing your eyes briefly.
"Kay," he whispered.
After a brief while, it grew quiet in your bedroom. You lied so still that you could feel Joshua's heartbeat against your back, his soft breathing landing on your back.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly. "I didn't ask if I was too hard."
You swallowed. "I'm okay. I liked it hard," you answered sheepishly, in a small voice.
He let out a chuckle. "We're just warming up, princess," he muttered, placing more kisses on your back.
You giggled at the feeling of his lips on places where no one had ever kissed before.
"You're ticklish," he cooed. "Oh, princess. I'm going to have so much fun with you."
Your whole body was set ablaze again, a gentle reminder of what was yet to come.
"I'm glad I asked you to do this," you mumbled with a sigh.
"You do?" he asked, his voice was low but sweet.
"It felt good. I didn't think it would be this good," you sighed, feeling shy again.
Then the tip of his fingers started tracing invisible lines along your back gingerly, as he hummed a tune faintly, almost absentmindedly.
"Mmm, I'm glad you liked it," he sounded distant, and you thought that he might be dozing off. "Was it material you can put into your book?"
You glanced back to find his face, he eyed you playfully, a ghost of a smile in his lips.
"I wasn't thinking of my book," you admitted sheepishly.
"Good," he muttered, his eyes wandering to the rest of your body. "I wanted you to enjoy this."
Then you felt it again. That tingly warmth sensation on your chest, it struck you for a moment, leaving you breathless.
"Why?" you had to ask.
His eyes locked on yours again. "You were nervous," he shrugged. "It was your first time with a stranger, right?"
You nodded briefly.
"Though you did say you like me," the corners of his lips rose. "A lot, if I remember correctly."
You groaned, sinking your face back to your pillow and that made him laugh. "Ohmygod," you mumbled.
The gentle caress of his fingers reached the small of your back and moved to the side of your glute. You heard him sigh softly when your skin prickled, and you could imagine that he was smiling.
"What's wrong, princess?" he asked sweetly. "Were you lying? Was it the heat of the moment?"
You could tell he was teasing you, but the fingers on your skin were too distracting. Even the sound of his voice was alluring.
His fingers moved from your back and found your jaw, he lifted your face from the pillow and you found his eyes. "Mm? Tell me," he insisted.
Was he really that egotistical? You brushed his hand from your jaw and he laughed quietly.
"I wasn't lying," you mumbled sheepishly, feeling like it was easier to be honest.
Joshua's mouth curved into a smile. It looked predilect, as if he found you cute.
He bent down and locked his lips with yours, his hand cupping the side of your face as his lips moved on yours passionately. Then he planted small lazy kisses on your lower lip and chin and went back to cuddling you.
"Joshua?" you muttered.
"Mm?"
You turned in his embrace, finding his face. "I wanna go again," you mumbled sheepishly.
His eyebrows arched up and he laughed. "Right now?"
You nodded, a bit too eagerly. "I want you again. Please?"
Joshua's hand moved to cup your face, his mouth pressed on yours, slowly locking his lips with yours. You parted your lips to give access to his tongue, and he moaned in resignation.
"So hard for me to say no."
✮ a/ns: ahhh this reader is my most personal one because i suffer from insomnia (˘・_・˘) anyway, if you liked this feel free to let me know with a like, reblog, comment, whatever you prefer wink wink
please let me know if you like the songs i suggest at the beginning of the chapters?
if you liked reading this, stay tuned for part ii and check out my other fics from its shared universe! k bye ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
my taglist is open! just send me a message and you'll be tagged for the next one or my other fics!
Mary Oliver, "The Fourth Sign of the Zodiac." Blue Horses
breakfast with jeonghan
LOVE Fan Meeting @ Tokyo
'super' music bank 230428 scoups fancam
I SUPPORT THE POCHAKYEOM AGENDA JUST AS MUCH AS I SUPPORT THE SHUAMOROLL ONE
pairing: prince!jaehyun x (f) reader
genre/warnings: smut, angst, horror, arranged marriage, unprotected sex, graphic descriptions of violence, mentions of vomiting and suicide, major character death
word count: 22.4k
summary: Every single night before bed, you play your royal husband, Jaehyun, a song on his grandfather’s piano as a distraction from the ominous sounds you hear. To the public, you’re all smiles, but discreetly, you’re a slave to your suspicions. Though it seems the more you pry, the more secrets you start to unravel.
author’s note: so, remember when i said i wasn’t writing a halloween fic? yeah, i lied. happy spooky season!
Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop, you chanted to yourself, running because your life depended on it.
Your feet hurt and you had lost track of how long you had been running for, but you pushed yourself forward even as your energy from the adrenaline started to dwindle.
Never had you needed to fight for your life before. Fight for anything. Your legs burned from ache, begging for a break while your bare feet slapped against wet dirt. Your face was damp with tears and rainwater. But you never stopped. Not even for a second.
Not as long as he was behind you. Even after hours of running, you knew he wouldn’t stop until he had at last caught you. He could run across acres of land and never break a sweat.
Lightning struck and you screamed, only to realize it was the shrouds of darkness looming over you. You were on edge.
“My love,” Jaehyun sang, calling out to you from a distance.
His voice made you shudder, but you bunched your dress into your fists, the white gown difficult to run in. You didn’t look back, though you knew that he wasn’t far.
Pushing Jaehyun’s voice to the back of your head, you tried to find an escape route. The garden had to stretch across at least a thousand acres. There was no end in sight. You were inclined to believe you were running in circles across perfectly manicured grass and stone trails.
Jaehyun had the upper hand. It was his palace, for heaven’s sake. He had grown up wandering around these paths and exploring halls that were carbon copies of each other. You had barely made it out of the palace, clearing corridor after corridor, though unsure if you were making any distance because of how they paralleled.
You found another stone footpath, feeling the ground harden beneath your feet where moonlight shone through the tiniest of puddles. For whatever reason, seeing your scared face in your reflection gave you chills. Your face that was once perfectly made was ruined with streaks of mascara, black.
What should have been the happiest day of your life had quickly turned upside-down.
When you glanced aside, what you saw nearly got another hair-raising scream out of you, but you bit your lip hard enough to make yourself bleed.
Horror was beginning not to explain your feelings as you fought for survival, wide eyes drifting around the pond in a perfect rectangle. There were tombstones surrounding the pond, watered by rain. You could see names etched on them; your parents, Jaehyun’s parents, and some of his servants. Dead fish floated in the water.
“No,” you cried out, kneeling aside your parents’ gravestones. You didn’t care that your dress dirtied. You lost all purpose for it the second you saw him for the monster he had been all along.
From the beginning this had only been a perfectly crafted game where you never had a chance. You were baited like an animal and Jaehyun was somewhere watching you like a hawk in the sky, because little did you know, you would never make it out.
He had made sure of that.
“This is your home now,” Jaehyun exclaimed, but it was all white noise to you. You didn’t even know where he was or how far he stood from you. Your mind was racing but empty all the while.
You knew there had to be a shed somewhere. If you were quick, maybe you could hit him over the head with a trowel or a really heavy pot. If you wanted to make it out alive, you had to escape on your own. You knew there was nobody else alive out here aside from you and Jaehyun.
Not to mention thinking about what Jaehyun would do to you if he caught you made your blood run cold, because you simply didn’t know. He was an enigma to you now. You went from living every little girl’s dreams of becoming a princess to living a never-ending nightmare.
“Darling. There you are,” Jaehyun said, as if he hadn’t already had you trapped.
You screamed, screamed a silent cry, unable to hear his wet footsteps over the sound of your mind racing a thousand thoughts per hour. It was over. You lost. He had caught you.
Jaehyun swept you into his arms and crooned, “Shh, it’s alright. Everything is okay, darling.”
Every exhale was a battle. You heaved, chest undulating, and tried to regain some semblance of composure. Your eyes studied the room and you realized you were no longer in Jaehyun’s boundless garden, but in his chamber. There was no rain pouring on you. Only sweat beading at your skin, cooling at your neck.
“It was just a nightmare,” Jaehyun whispered, voice sweet and tender as it had always been.
You still shuddered, but you were relieved that it was only a dream. You leaned into Jaehyun’s touch, breathing in the crisp air.
You flitted your gaze to the balcony attached to the giant chamber, blocked off by a glass door. The royal blue curtains were drawn, giving you a perfect view of the garden it overlooked. Rain fell brutally and little droplets gathered at the screen.
Nights like this were a recurring series of events ever since you started sharing a bed with Jaehyun. You would wake in the middle of the night, damp with sweat, screaming your lungs off. Jaehyun would hold you and whisper sweet nothings in your ears, trying to calm you down.
If you were being honest, it wasn’t Jaehyun that was giving you nightmares, in spite of the fact that the one key element they all shared was that he would be hunting you down in all of them. It was the dangerous lack of sleep you were getting. Interestingly, the monarchy had owls that kept you up at night, and when you finally fell asleep, bad dreams loomed over you.
For whatever reason, sleep deprivation made you prone to them. You tried to remind yourself Jaehyun was a great guy and your stupid brain playing tricks on you was not a reflection of his character, but the fact that you consistently had more or less the same dream solely about him made you antsy.
Grow up. Dreams don’t mean anything. You sound like a little girl afraid of the monsters under her bed, you hissed to yourself, chastising. The fact that it was so silly was enough to make you promptly dismiss your worries.
For the three months you had been engaged, Jaehyun took the extra time to get to know you. It was strange, because he didn’t need to. Your marriage was a business proposal rather than the kneeling before your lover kind, and both of your parents had influence throughout the country. You had never spoken until then.
In spite of that detail, Jaehyun treated you as if he could see himself truly loving you one day. Maybe because he wanted things to be as non-awkward as possible, given that you would be sharing the same bed at night.
By day, Jaehyun would flaunt you in front of the media and hold you flush against him at royal events as he did throughout your betrothal. The wedding had to have been the most remarkable occasion of them all. It lasted throughout the entire day, hundreds of thousands of people present to celebrate your nuptials.
When you married, you moved into the palace, which was precisely when the nightmares started. Because of those goddamn owls.
Some nights later, you shot up again, having yet another nightmare. Noticing the bedside lamp was switched on, you glanced to your side, observing Jaehyun with a book in hand and spectacles sitting squarely on the bridge of his nose. “Another bad dream?”
You nodded, biting your lip. You felt bad and slightly embarrassed. Never had you and Jaehyun shared a bed until your honeymoon, so his first impression of your sleeping habits were you being prone to crying out in the middle of the night.
Jaehyun, setting his book to the side after marking his place, opened his arms for you. You crawled into them without hesitation. Over time, they had started to feel like home. It took the edge off your homesickness.
This is your home now. You shivered. It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream. It’s just a very bad fucking dream, you comforted yourself.
Jaehyun whispered tenderly, “Tell me what you saw.”
You swallowed and damped your throat. Though you had told him about the owls, you kept to yourself the bit about him chasing you like a serial killer. “It’s a little dark,” you told him in fair warning.
Jaehyun didn’t seem to give a damn. “It’s only a dream. It can’t scare me. Unless a monster is going to hop out of your cute brain and yell, ‘Boo!’”
You giggled. Leave it to Jaehyun to make you laugh when you needed it most. He had come to learn your needs over those three months of bonding.
Jaehyun threw you an expectant look. “Well?”
You hesitated, but ultimately gave in. Jaehyun was your husband now, for fuck’s sake. What couldn’t you tell him? “Well, every night I have the same nightmare about… you. You’re always chasing me throughout the castle. Every time, I get close to escaping, but you catch me in the end. And then I wake up.”
“It’s not very realistic.”
You pulled back, giving him a look. “Hm?”
“I would never chase you,” Jaehyun said. “I will always have you right where I want you.”
Your eyes flickered. It was an unsettling comment, but you tried to let it go. Jaehyun doesn’t have an evil bone in his body, you reminded yourself. He’s harmless.
Jaehyun clambered out of bed, sitting his spectacles on top of his book, and stood on two feet. When you merely watched him with interest, he beckoned you to mirror him. “Come on. I have something to show you.”
Hesitantly you obeyed him, crawling from bed and sliding on your slippers. Following him into the halls, you walked hand in hand with Jaehyun the entire time who had laced his fingers through yours comfortably. The gesture made you smile, no matter how little.
Like in your dreams, the corridors were of length and resembled each other almost precisely. High stone walls stood tall, statues at its sides, and chandeliers glared at you from above your heads. Given it was after nightfall, the halls were dimly lit.
One of the statues you swore you saw move and give you a mean glower. You asked curiously, “Did you ever break anything when you were a child?”
“Not that I remember. No.”
“Huh,” you retorted. “You must have been a wonderful child.”
“I stayed in my room and looked out the window,” Jaehyun muttered under his breath.
Your eyes flickered.
Jaehyun brought you to a room at the very end of the passage but before he drew the doors open, he told you softly, “Close your eyes.”
You rolled your eyes, but did as told, giggling. Jaehyun got a hold of both of your hands and placed them over your face for safe measure. Then, he drew the doors open, pushing you inside.
Jaehyun guided you mysteriously throughout the room and you let him without question. You knew he had switched the lights on, the corners of your vision getting brighter in spite of the dark void, and he stopped you momentarily.
“Now, open.”
You slowly opened your eyes, squinting while you adjusted to the bright lights. Then they focused in front of you, and what you saw made you giddy with excitement.
“Whoa,” you gasped, running a hand over the grand piano. It was royal blue, monarchical patterns thoughtfully designed over the lid.
Jaehyun was sporting the biggest smile you had ever seen. “Do you like it?”
You bobbed your head. During your engagement, you remembered telling Jaehyun, en passant, that you had been enamored with playing pianos since you were little. “You remembered,” you said quietly, touched.
Jaehyun’s dimples showed and it was the cutest thing ever. He spoke softly, “This was my grandfather’s piano. He hated bad weather and played it when it stormed. I know that it’s not the same, but I thought that maybe if you played the piano before bed, it would help with your nightmares.”
“That’s really thoughtful of you, Jaehyun,” you replied, heat spreading through your chest like wildfire. “Do you want me to play you a song?”
“Yes,” Jaehyun said and pulled out a chair.
You sat on the piano bench, getting comfortable and warming up your fingers lest they cramped in the middle of your impromptu performance. For a multigenerational piano, it was still in perfect condition.
“My mother taught me this,” you told him in preparation.
You proceeded to play him a mind-blowing masterpiece, your eyes and hands trained to the keyboard. Jaehyun was dumbfounded that any human being could be so graceful while playing an instrument and kept himself fixed to your supple fingers. He was enamored, knowing then and there that he wanted to hear you play your sweet song forever.
Eyes closed, everything disappeared behind the sound of the keys, and you carried yourself to a world where there was nothing but you and your piano. Where no harm could reach you.
Me and my song. That's how you got through everything. As long as you had a piano, everything would be okay.
When you were done, you glanced up at Jaehyun, studying him for a reaction.
Jaehyun was all smiles. He was endlessly proud of you, clasping his hands together in applause when the performance ended. His heart was asking for an encore, and he knew you most likely wanted one yourself. He could see that you were truly at peace when you played, in a world of your own, at your happiest.
“You’re the most talented player I've ever heard,” Jaehyun whispered sweetly.
Heat filled your cheeks and you hid it with a roll of your eyes. “You’re only saying that because I’m your wife.”
Jaehyun took your hands in his palms again, kissing the back of your palm tenderly. “You are my talented wife, who I love very much.”
Your heart stopped. His wife. Who he loved. He loved you? You expected to be merely something he had to put up with, but Jaehyun had come to genuinely love you. To say nothing of yourself. This boy had swept you off of your feet in no time at all.
“I love you too,” you whispered back, smiling so hard your cheeks hurt. Now that he had done such a thoughtful gesture, you loved him even more.
Jaehyun saw the stars in your eyes and squeezed your hand. “Are you ready to go back to bed?”
“Yes,” you chirped with glee.
Jaehyun hoisted you into his arms bridal style and you squealed in surprise, wreathing your arms around his neck while he carried you back to the bedchamber.
You slept soundly after that. No screaming. No nightmares.
As it turned out, his grandfather’s piano was the perfect countermeasure for your night terrors. You were dumbfounded that you actually managed to sleep through the whole night, well rested for the formal dinners and publicity appearances that came with being royalty.
For each of them, you clung flush to Jaehyun’s side, radiant. You didn’t speak unless spoken to. It was no question why you of all the women from a handpicked list were selected to become his wife. You had been cautiously groomed for the role, the pretty and obedient little thing meant to stand by the prince's side and carry his children. Especially his son.
Maybe it seemed demeaning, though you had no intention of making waves in the monarchy. You kept in step, rather than marched to the beat of your own drum. You were more than content to silently bathe in their luxuries and confide in your husband.
But it did get lonely.
One lazy afternoon, just after lunch, the king approached you and Jaehyun as the two of you were shooting the breeze in The Great Chamber. You noticed his father first and greeted him respectfully, “Good afternoon, Your Majesty.”
Jaehyun opted for a polite bow.
The king motioned his head. “Good afternoon. I am only here to announce your mother-in-law and I’s departure. We will be traveling abroad on business for a couple of weeks. Your mother-in-law is already with an escort waiting outside the exit hall.”
That baffled Jaehyun. “Why the abrupt exit?”
“We have some affairs to attend to that couldn’t wait and we owe the prime minister a favor. We will return as briefly as possible.”
Jaehyun nodded. “Travel safely.”
“Of course. And son, the country is yours in our absence,” said the king. Then, he locked eyes with you. “Yours as well.”
You were stunned for a couple of seconds, but masked it well and replied demurely, “Yes, sir.”
The king bid each of you farewell individually then scurried to the exit hall with his wife to be chauffeured to their private charter.
Jaehyun met your eyes with a mischievous smile and said when his parents were out of earshot, “Appears it’s just the two of us.”
“Mm-hm,” you hummed, amused by the amount of sheer mischief in his stare. “Just me, you, and the hundred other people that live in this palace.”
Jaehyun chuckled, lifted your wrist, and pressed a sweet kiss to the back of your hand. “What if I sent everybody home? You heard my father. I’m in charge.”
“I also very clearly heard him mention that I’m in charge too. And I don’t think that’s a very good idea. Who’s going to make the spoiled prince’s every meal three times a day, everyday?”
“Fair point,” Jaehyun mumbled. “Do you really think that I’m spoiled?”
You replied without skipping a beat, “Rotten.”
“What a shame,” Jaehyun said. “Would it also be a shame if you came upstairs to spoil me some more?”
“Only if you didn’t spoil me back,” you replied tamely, but Jaehyun could see the unbridled lust in your eyes. It never lied to him.
You two scurried through the halls like a pair of hormonal teenagers, staggering towards the elevator with dwindling patience and giggling the entire ride upstairs.
When you came to bed that night after spending an undocumented amount of time playing Jaehyun the piano in what was once his grandfather’s bedchamber, he threw his big arms around your waist and drifted off to the view of your backside.
But when you abruptly woke, he was nowhere to be found.
You sat up in a panic. He’s just using the bathroom. Yeah, that sounds about right, you consoled yourself. The clock stared back at you on the wall, and noting the time, you decided you would wait for him to return.
Jaehyun never returned to his bedroom. You watched hours tick away at their own pace, but there was no sign of him. And in lieu of your husband’s soft snores, you only heard those familiar owls, feet dragging down the hall, and impatient ticking.
Which was completely unnerving.
You didn’t get any sleep that night. Not until Jaehyun at last came back and worriedly asked why you looked as if you had just finished a twelve-hour shift in the dungeon.
Choosing to ignore him, you snarled, “Where were you?”
Jaehyun’s eyes flickered. “Well, I was in the study. I had some late night affairs to attend to.”
“The king and queen are absent. Our royal activities have been suspended. There is nothing you could possibly need to take care of at four in the morning,” you pressed, arms folded.
“Most of our royal activities have been temporarily suspended,” Jaehyun corrected with a swiftness. “Why do you think my father left us in control? The country never sleeps.”
You sulked, especially grumpy from the lack of sleep.
Jaehyun watched you with surprise. Your grouchy, irritable attitude graveled him, because he couldn’t comprehend what he had done that was so wrong. “What’s gotten into you?”
You exhaled loudly. Maybe you were overreacting a little. Jaehyun did make a valid point, after all. Somebody still needed to nurse the country in the king and queen’s absence. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m being unreasonable,” you replied, unable to justify your cynicism.
Not to mention you couldn’t think of a single other thing that Jaehyun could have been doing so early in the morning. It was a completely plausible excuse, whether you believed it or not. And it wasn’t as if Jaehyun had ever given you a reason to doubt him.
But the feet dragging through the halls was the second most eerie sound you had ever heard, just after those evil owls that reminded you too much of gargoyles. You chalked it up to some staff members keeping guard on a late shift and gave it up.
Jaehyun pried your stubborn hand away from your crossed arms and you let him. His touch was exactly what you needed to soothe your unease. “You look tired,” he commented. “Have you been sleeping?”
“No, I was waiting for you to come back,” you grumbled gruffly and stifled a yawn out of habit. It was unladylike, they said.
Jaehyun chuckled in amusement, but scolded, “You shouldn’t wait up for me. I’m a busy man and a princess needs her beauty sleep.”
“Maybe I feel safe when you’re next to me,” you mumbled under your breath, eyes fixed to his thumb rubbing circles at your wrist.
“I’m never far from you, baby,” Jaehyun reassured you gently. “I’m always two steps behind you.”
“Behind me or ahead of me?”
“I’m omnipresent,” Jaehyun whispered and kissed your cheek sweetly. “You can play the piano. I can sing. Would you like for me to sing you a song?”
“Yes,” you replied without stopping to mull it over.
Jaehyun told you to lie back down and you obeyed without a second thought, slipping under the blankets. You felt even warmer when he snaked his arms back around you and started to croon softly in your ears, voice tickling your neck and ultimately lulling you back to slumber.
Whether or not he got back up after that was entirely unbeknownst to you.
You slept so peacefully in Jaehyun’s embrace that you didn’t even rouse until afternoon, well after Jaehyun had slipped from bed and told you good morning, whispering something in your ear about how he had duties to attend to.
You, on the other hand, were cleared of any scheduling. Which gave you ample time to explore the gardens.
Now sporting a pretty knee-length dress, you had some tea and toast as a makeshift breakfast and scuttled outside in quick, short strides. The grandiose garden was easily your favorite spot in the whole palace. You could get lost in its labyrinth of superbly pruned shrubs and terraces decked in flower petals.
For lack of a better word, it was a humbling experience. It made you feel small to be isolated in such a huge garden. You may have been a princess, next in succession to the queen’s throne, but you were also just some girl in a world larger than you would ever know.
You could prance around and gawk at pretty flowers day in and day out. It didn’t take much to keep you happy. But you rather liked company.
When you noticed one of the gardeners you recognized tending to some blossoms, you chirped, “Hi, Giselle.”
Giselle greeted you very respectfully, curtsying at your presence. “Greetings, Your Royal Highness.”
“Oh, please,” you said, almost rolling your eyes. “You can call me by my name.”
“The king and queen wouldn’t approve of the informalities, ma’am.”
You didn’t really give a damn and waved her off, replying nonchalantly, “While that is true, the king and queen are not here, and it’s only the two of us in this garden. When we are alone, you may call me by my name and I will call you by yours.”
“If you insist,” Giselle replied, followed by your name.
You smiled triumphantly.
From your previous encounters and run-ins, you had already gathered that Giselle unfortunately wasn’t very much of a talker, though you couldn’t fault her. She did what she was told and minded the business that paid her. Literally. It would do her no good to kindle conflict in the monarchy.
“These flowers are pretty,” you remarked absentmindedly.
Giselle hummed. “They’re azaleas.”
“Elegance, temperance, and death,” you said knowledgeably, staring from the terrace.
Which surprised Giselle. “Are you into flower symbolism?”
You shrugged. “I know a thing or two.”
“Hm.”
You pointed to some other flowers. They were very recognizable to you at this point. “Those are white roses. Purity, innocence, loyalty, and fresh beginnings. It’s no secret why they were scattered all over my wedding.”
“Secrecy and silence,” Giselle added offhandedly.
For a couple of seconds, that, metaphorically speaking, threw you off balance. “That too,” you said quietly.
Giselle said nothing.
You considered making peace with the silence, but with your thoughts at daggers drawn with one another, you quickly accepted that wouldn’t be possible. Secrecy and silence. There was no doubt it suited the monarchs aptly. Sometimes you even wondered what you knew about Jaehyun, because he was ghastly private.
Maybe you weren’t the closest of married couples, but you knew enough. Jaehyun liked music and singing. He was introverted and quite shy, which was laughable when considering that he was soon to become king. He was calm and sensitive. Sensual, but reticent.
Jaehyun already made clear he loved you. Maybe with time, he would show you his heart.
Then, you had another thought. Secret, but not so much silent. “Hey, Giselle,” you called out. “Do you ever hear strange noises in the palace?”
“I don’t know what you mean. Everything is normal in the royal palace.”
You frowned. It hit you that you never asked Jaehyun if they bothered him. It was possible that growing up in the castle had numbed him. “I hear owls at night.”
“That is because there are owls and they are nocturnal. We haven’t tried to get rid of them because they are helpful with the garden,” was all Giselle said.
“Well, sure,” you mumbled, because it was an entirely logical explanation. “But what about the noises I hear in the hallway?”
“Some employees take late shifts to keep guard of the palace. They are merely monitoring the halls.”
That was what you told yourself, because it was completely reasonable. But something about this place gave you a bad gut feeling and left a bitter taste in your mouth. You couldn’t explain it, because it was just a hunch.
“In all due respect, what you hear is elementary. Word of advice? Believe what I tell you now or get two hours of sleep at night later.”
You recoiled in surprise. “Excuse me?”
Giselle turned around, glanced around for any watchful eyes, and made eye contact with you. She stepped onto the terrace and whispered, “I hear scratches in the walls and cries in the floorboards. You can rationalize footsteps in the hallway, but whimpers in the chamber? Not so easy. Convince yourself that it’s nothing while you still can.”
“If I have to convince myself that it’s nothing then that means there’s something,” you shot back, looking her plain in the eye. Which also meant there was something she wasn’t telling you. “What are you hiding?”
Giselle wavered, hesitant. She wore it on her face. Her body language was screaming at you and you desperately wanted to know what it was saying. “You’re royalty,” she finally said after a moment. “You have lived lavishly your whole life without ever needing to worry about a thing. Maybe I envy what you have, but I’m not telling you this from a black heart when I say my woes are not yours.”
You didn’t bristle, but softened. She was opening up to you, and you knew there was more to this tangent of hers.
“I come from a poor background and work here to provide for my household,” she said tamely, harboring no resentment whatsoever. She wasn’t the least bit vindictive. “Because of that, I can’t afford to poke my nose where it doesn’t belong. Even if it keeps me up at night.”
“The noises,” you said. “They keep you up at night?”
“Because of that piano,” Giselle grumbled under her breath.
“What?”
Giselle pivoted and walked back to the plants, dismissing your concern. “I’ve already said too much. Please, mention this to nobody. But if you must, leave my name out.”
You nodded. “Off the record.”
Giselle smiled thinly.
Backpedaling, you pointed to another shrubbery of flowers. “What are those?”
“Hydrangeas. They might seem high maintenance, but they are fairly easy to take care of. The queen loves them, so I give them some extra attention,” Giselle told you while hoisting a watering pot.
You hummed. “Blue flowers.”
“Desire, love, and infinity,” Giselle sighed poignantly.
For half an hour, you volunteered to help Giselle with her gardening duties before she shooed you away, claiming you had done enough of her responsibilities. You wandered in the garden still, lingering, just outside of Jaehyun’s bedchamber window.
When you glanced up, you saw him watching you fondly through the balcony screen, and waved him down with a beaming smile.
Jaehyun was downstairs in a flash, sporting chinos and a casual blazer. He looked very handsome, which was nothing new for him. Plus with his pretty brown eyes and adorable dimples that were both impossible to not get lost in, you had to will yourself not to swoon.
“Hi,” you greeted.
“Hi,” Jaehyun replied, mirroring you. Except he leaned in to snake his arms just below your ribs and kissed the corner of your mouth.
You smiled at his affections, though they had disarmed you a long time ago. His ability to unsettle you when he was gone but soothe you when he touched you was to be studied. “How has your day been so far?”
Jaehyun groaned. “Next subject.”
That got a chuckle out of you. Being the ruler of a country was no easy feat, but if there was anybody fitted for the role, it was Jaehyun. “Hopefully your parents haven’t left you with too much trouble.”
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders. “I want to relax. You look like you’re having fun.”
“Something like that.”
You decided against confiding in him about the reality of your day thus far. Not because you didn’t trust him, but because you weren’t sure of anything yourself. Giselle had mentioned something about the piano he had gifted you. Jaehyun might have been your best bet at knowing what she meant, but you needed to do a little more investigating before you got him involved.
Now that you had another person’s opinion, you could say with total confidence that you weren’t crazy. There was something spooky going on in the monarchy and you wanted to know what.
For now, you would shove the thought to a corner in the back of your mind. Days at the palace were full of whimsical fun. The nights were terrifying.
Speaking of whimsical fun, Jaehyun spoke up and asked, “Do you want to ride the ferry with me?”
That caught your attention. “Ferry?”
“Yeah. There’s a huge lake down this path and we have a mini ferry that travels from one end to the other. You interested?”
“Sign me up,” you exclaimed enthusiastically.
Getting a hold of your hand, Jaehyun walked you through the courtyard to the wooden dock at the top of the lake. Unsurprisingly, it had a decorated roofed patio with a lounging nook to wait for the vessel to return.
Fortunately for you, it was already waiting at the dock, unoccupied save for the captain Jaehyun had called up during your relaxed walk to the boating site.
Jaehyun helped you aboard, having done this more times than he cared to admit. When you were safely secured on the tiny ferry, you thanked him for being a gentleman and watched him climb aboard himself.
The captain exited the wheelhouse. “Once to and from, Your Royal Highness?”
“Make it twice. We have time to waste,” said Jaehyun, looking at you with all the affections a man could possess.
Shortly afterwards, you started moving. You stood beside Jaehyun and gripped the railing, watching the water splash beneath the boat. This place was beautiful, no doubt. Your choice to get married in the garden was unregretted.
Eerily beautiful, you thought. Though you loved the garden, there were a couple of places you avoided. Mainly the ones that made appearances in your nightmares, like the shed.
The silence was comfortable, both you and Jaehyun soaking in the view, but you broke it to say, “You’re an only child.”
“I guess you could say that.”
You gave him a look. “What do you mean?”
Jaehyun shook his head, dismissive. “Nothing. Keep talking.”
You were curious, wanting to know all there was on this boy, but let it go for his sake. “Doesn’t it get lonely - alone in this big palace? Your parents are busy nurturing the country like it’s their own child.”
Jaehyun didn’t show a single fucking emotion on his face, though that was far from shocking by now. When it was time to get personal, he became the iciest man you knew. His cold indifference somehow burned you.
You grimaced when you saw his face. “Sorry if I crossed a line.”
“No, it’s okay,” Jaehyun replied, giving you a reassuring kiss to the cheek. “I was lonely before I met you. No siblings. Few people I could trust. When I was young, I learned rather quickly that life is a game of survival. You can never be too sure who’s friend or foe.”
You listened attentively, nestling closer to his chest.
“I was taught to be my own guard, in a way. And there’s nobody to blame but myself for chasing away everybody who tries to get close. But then you came,” Jaehyun said, smiling at you adoringly. “And there was an instant connection. I think I saw pieces of myself inside of you.”
“You did?”
Jaehyun bobbed his head. “Yeah. Some people see this meek, demure princess, but I see the woman that almost cooked my ass when I wasn’t tucked into bed with her,” he joked, getting a laugh out of you.
You giggled.
Jaehyun was smiling like an idiot. It was cute and wholesome. “On a serious note, I see somebody strong and assertive. Somebody who’s not afraid to fight for what they want, even if it means going through hell and back. Somebody unbroken and undeterred.”
“Mm-hm. And you liked that,” you hummed, giving him a hooded stare.
“You have no idea,” Jaehyun purred before leaning in to smash his lips against yours.
You giggled into his mouth. Your heart skipped a beat or two when Jaehyun kissed you, tempted to leap into the palm of his hands where she belonged. The Jaehyun you had come to know was a romantic and there was nothing more romantic than making out with your lover on a beautiful ferry ride.
Except for making love with your lover below a beautiful ferry ride.
“Below deck,” Jaehyun murmured in your ear, delicately slipping his hands from your waist to lace his fingers through yours. You didn’t hesitate to follow him through the little hall, coming out in a bedroom at its very end.
You hardly even got to stand long enough to take note of your surroundings before Jaehyun hoisted you up and threw you against the silk sheets. You cried out in shock. Jaehyun had taken you more times than you bothered to count, but you were in awe at how rough the prince got when it came to sex.
When Jaehyun crept over you, staring at you with a blend of awe and unbridled lust in those pretty brown eyes of his, you combed your fingers through his dark hair and drew his mouth to yours again.
You could hear your heart thudding in your ears as you kissed him slowly. Your lips only knew each other and you could taste the ecstasy on the tip of your tongue. To say nothing of the touches. While you were fisting his hair, Jaehyun stripped you naked, tossing your dress and groping your perfect breasts.
Jaehyun was warm to the touch, but his fingers never failed to make you shiver. “I love the way your lips feel,” you confessed when he separated from your mouth.
Only to kiss his way down your stomach, lips gentle and tender. Jaehyun cocked you a glance and grinned. “And what about my dick?”
“Don’t ask stupid questions. I love your dick, duh, but that’s a different conversation deserving of its own speech. Particularly a long-winded one with a very heartfelt peroration at the climax.”
Jaehyun’s head bobbed as he snickered at the thought, before teasing, “Well, we have the Great Chamber for that when you’re ready. Feel free.”
Your laughter rang out in the little bedroom. Then, Jaehyun switched on a dime, dragging your legs towards the edge of the bed before spreading them apart like jelly and burying his face between your thighs.
Every time Jaehyun took you to bed, you remembered the first night of your honeymoon. When he took you to a cabin in the woods in April’s spring, flipped you over, and made you cry for all the forest to hear. By day, you watched nature and waltzed to his many vinyls, and by night, you made love for hours.
And to think that was only a month ago. You felt as if you’d loved Jaehyun for years.
Jaehyun ate you out until you came undone at the mercy of his brutal tongue, clamping his palms at your thighs while you convulsed and shuddered, and undulated. Fuck, he knew your body too well. You arched off the bed one final time then slumped down, defeated.
You gawked in disbelief while he watched you scramble for breath with a cocked brow. Your body’s capacity for pleasure knew no bounds when Jaehyun was the one pleasing you. “Ready to take my cock?” he asked, excitement nipping sharply in his chest at the thought of ruining you.
You nodded your head almost instantly. Your lack of patience was written all over you and you wanted him. Right now.
Jaehyun’s hands were quick to reach for his cock, steering himself skillfully to bury himself inside of your pussy. A wet sound filled the air when he sank inside and you instantly moaned his name as though it was an instinct.
You drove Jaehyun mad when you called out his name like that; with pining and desperation, and everything in between. Heaven had brought you to him and fate would keep you by his side until the very end.
“Jay,” came your airy voice. Just being filled with your husband’s cock made you feel like you were elevating, ascending into the air.
Your sounds were euphoric and drove Jaehyun to the very brink of madness, and with the last of his restraint gone, he was impelled to move at long last, thrusting into you at a leisurely yet hard pace. He lowered his face to meet yours, lips locked in a wet smack. You were skin to skin, your stiff nipples pressed against his bare chest.
Every moment was as special as the first. As a woman groomed to become a figure of importance, you were raised to remain chaste until marriage. And the day you exchanged vows with Jaehyun, he made your whole body shudder.
“God is a woman,” Jaehyun rasped, heart racing so quickly it might have burst. You were warm all over and his hands roamed every nook of your body, every curve.
Even though you wanted to laugh, all that came from your mouth was a breathless moan. Moments like these where you knew nothing but Jaehyun, scooped into his strong arms, you couldn’t help but realize how lucky you were. Not a second went by where you took him for granted.
Things could’ve been different. Jaehyun could have been an insufferable spoiled prick that acted entitled to his wife, but he was far from the visions of him you saw in your nightmares. You were grateful to be married to a man that both respected you and valued your happiness.
You locked your legs around him, pulling him into you deeper, and kissed him until the two of you were gasping for air. “You get me so wet, Jay,” you whispered, tangling your fingers through his head.
At those words, Jaehyun released an animalistic growl, so aroused you thought he might break. His thoughts revolved solely around you. How much like poison you were. How outrageously perfect you were. Head to toe.
You beamed with pride, pleased to have such a dangerous effect on your husband. The two of you meeting each other was mutually assured destruction. Nothing had been the same since Jaehyun laid eyes on you. When he saw you for the first time, he knew that he had to have you.
While your body rocked from the sheer force of Jaehyun’s thrusts, the boat gently thrashed in the water. Your breasts bounced and the sight had made Jaehyun lose what was left of his mind. One day, in the none too distant future, they would be swollen with milk and Jaehyun imagined you carrying his children.
That thought alone could have finished him. He thought of it every time he fucked you full of cum, pumping his load inside of you rough and deep, just the way you begged for him to. Watching your belly swell with your shared child would do unspeakable things to Jaehyun’s psyche.
Part of you drowned out the sounds of the water splattering against the boat in favor of listening to Jaehyun’s relentless groans. Your husband always had a flair for the romantic. Hopelessly, he used to think, until he met you.
Staring up at Jaehyun, you were bewitched by the gentle gracefulness of his features, especially as they tensed with unbridled pleasure. “Can I tell you something?” you asked.
Jaehyun nodded his head. “Anything,” he whispered.
“You smell so good.”
Jaehyun’s laughter rang out in your ears. The sight and sound brought a smile to your face. You didn’t know anyone with a more perfect laugh and you would give anything to see it again. “That’s so random.”
“But true,” you added, inhaling his scent the closer he got to your naked chest. There was hardly any space between you two at all.
Jaehyun was all smiling from ear to ear. “Can I tell you something?”
“Always.”
Jaehyun leaned into your ear, deepening his voice to a breathtaking whisper, “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
Your heart stopped. There was something about his voice tickling your earlobe that made you gush and tighten around his cock. After searching for the ability to speak, you replied, “Funny. I feel the same way about you.”
Jaehyun chuckled deeply and you swore you became lightheaded. “Yeah?”
“Can I tell you one more thing?”
“Go for it.”
“I’m about to cum,” you told him, climax threatening to rip you apart.
“I’m gonna make you cum,” Jaehyun said, voice dark with determination. You gasped when his fingers sank to your clit and his thumb teased your bundle of nerves.
Heat swallowed you whole. You couldn’t process all of the sensations that your body was experiencing all at once. A scream came out of your mouth and Jaehyun stifled them with his palm as you trembled with orgasm, cursing the stars.
Jaehyun didn’t stop fucking until he was certain that you couldn’t take anymore. You went round after round, fisting the sticky sheets, grateful that he chose to take two trips across the lake. You had time to kill.
Your body was worn and utterly spent when Jaehyun was finished with you. You fell slack against the sheets, unable to move your stiff limbs. Given that Jaehyun was left with more than a handful of responsibilities, it should’ve come to you as no shock that he took his stress out on you.
And you were more than eager to let him. When Jaehyun made love to you, the power he wielded over you was endless. Your body was seized by him and your heart was his on a platter.
“I love you,” Jaehyun whispered deeply in your ear. It was enough to drive any woman mad. You were too breathless to say anything back, chest undulating.
For a couple of moments neither of you could hardly move and you stayed nestled into each other’s side till you regained the strength to hunt for your tossed clothes. Flush against Jaehyun’s skin, the sexual tension still lingered, and he was overwhelmingly aware of how naked you were.
After quickly redressing yourselves, you just sat on the bed for a little longer, feeling the boat still sway and knowing you weren’t back home. Jaehyun’s hand was flat against your backside, never letting you forget that he was at your side.
You tried to fend off some wandering thoughts, but your curiosity got the better of you and you surrendered to your need to know. “Jaehyun, I have something to tell you.”
Your tone was not lost on him. “It sounds serious.”
“Yeah, kind of,” you replied, swallowing the taste in your throat that made you nauseous. “It’s about my dreams. It’s not just the owl noises. I think there’s something else going on.”
Jaehyun’s brows were furrowed. “Like what?”
There was a lump in your throat. After you confided in him about your doubts and suspicions, there was no going back. “Like the piano,” you said, unsure of yourself.
Jaehyun’s demeanor shifted suddenly, aggressively. He went from cool and collected to stern on a dime, chastising, “Stop looking.”
His tone affronted you. “Excuse me?”
“It’s for your own safety. You need not to worry your pretty little head.”
Narrowing your eyes, you pressed, “So there is something going on that you’re not telling me.”
Jaehyun exhaled a heavy breath, smoothing a hand through his hair. “Promise me you’ll stop prying. This is serious. I will tell you everything that you need to know when it’s time.”
“Jaehyun, you know I can’t promise that,” you whispered.
“Please,” Jaehyun said, eyes glistening.
God, he was begging you? It had to have been serious. You couldn’t fathom him pleading for you not to investigate otherwise. But rather than discourage you, it only intensified your will to get to the bottom of the matter.
Massaging your temple, you sighed, “Okay. Pinky promise.”
You giggled when Jaehyun interlocked his pinky finger with yours, but you weren’t certain how long you would be capable of keeping that promise.
Soon after your confession, the captain signaled that the boat had returned to the dock. Jaehyun led you back through the narrow hallway with your hand in his, as if nothing had happened.
The sex. The little divulgence that followed. He’s way too naturally gifted at slipping back into this royal character, you realized. In a way, you already knew that. Jaehyun could fuck the daylights out of you then smile and wave at the media as if he was their innocent successor to the throne.
Though this was different. Jaehyun obviously had no intention of letting you know exactly what he was hiding any time soon. And if he thought you would just sit around and wait for answers, he had severely underestimated you just like every other man in this country.
Something unforgivably dark and sinister was happening. That was undeniable. You just needed to find out what.
Hours came and went, as did people. Jaehyun was right, you supposed. The country never slept. The palace alone was bustling with life at all times.
Which made you think. If both you and Giselle were apprehensive of the obvious skeletons the monarchy had in its closet, there was no way you were alone. Somebody else had to know something. Somebody with just as much to lose.
You just had to play your cards right. Giselle didn’t lie when she said that she had a lot more at stake than you. Even if the royal family abandoned you for whatever reason, you had the safety net of your own wealthy family to fall back on. Not everybody was as fortunate.
When the sun set below the horizon, Jaehyun accompanied you to his grandfather’s bedchamber, though only because you didn’t want him to grow suspicious. The piano was the only way to bulldoze your ceaseless thoughts. You were lost in your own head.
“I love you, Jaehyun,” you told him out of nowhere.
Jaehyun looked pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t often you confessed your affections. “Where’s this coming from?”
Your mind wandered back to earlier. Though you weren’t happy about him brushing off your concerns, your heart couldn’t deny the way it thumped for him. “I never said it back. And you didn’t make me.”
“Because I already know.”
You blew out a breath. Your heart told you not to risk losing his trust, but your mind was screaming that he was keeping something from you. Days ago, you would’ve been more than content with submissively obeying your husband’s commands.
But peace had never been an option.
It wasn’t long before you crept into bed with each other. You slept peacefully and uninterrupted by any nightmares. Again.
Breakfast was spent together as always. Now that his parents had left the two of you in charge, it was often the only time you had available in the mornings to share.
Any other morning, you would complain, but you were waiting with bated breath for the opportunity to get away and sneak around like a thief in the night. You weren’t keen on lying to Jaehyun, but he would just have to understand the rationale. You couldn’t keep living antsily.
You spread some butter on your toast and asked, “Would you like to visit the markets with me this afternoon?”
Jaehyun frowned. Had he not been so busy, he would’ve done whatever you wanted. You wondered why your schedule was so clear, because when Jaehyun was preoccupied, half the time so were you. “I would love to, but the committee needs my opinion on some political stuff.”
Your tone was disappointed, “Political stuff?”
Jaehyun nodded. He seemed to have fallen for it somehow. “I won’t bore you with the details.”
“Well, I won’t keep you, then,” you said, taking a sip of steaming hot coffee. Jaehyun had made it for you just the way he knew that you liked it.
“Are you trying to get rid of me? I’m not expected to be present for another fifteen minutes.” Jaehyun’s tone was light, but the accusation made your heart beat faster.
Donning your most innocent voice, you assured him, “Of course not. I just know how much you like to be punctual.”
“That is true,” Jaehyun muttered.
Ironically, the hours seemed to drag on, because you couldn’t wait for Jaehyun to leave for once. The second he was finally far out of your vicinity you discarded your leftovers and prepared yourself for the grueling task ahead of you.
Only when you emerged from the dining hall and set out on your little exploit did it occur to you that you didn’t have even the slightest clue who to ask. A couple of servants had been around quite longer than others, yet they were dreadfully tight-lipped. But for good reason.
Bumping into a younger one, you exclaimed, “Oh, good heavens! Pardon me, Mr. Kim.”
Jungwoo bowed gracefully and replied, “No, I apologize, Your Highness. I’ll pay closer attention.”
“It’s fine. I’ve been out of it since I got out of bed with Jaehyun,” you confessed, flashing a courteous smile.
To your surprise, Jungwoo threw you a baffled glance. “You share a bed with the prince?”
“Yes, he is my husband. Is that odd?”
“I’m surprised. It goes against tradition. The king and queen have always had separate bedrooms,” Jungwoo told you, scratching the back of his neck.
That was news. Though given how secretive these people were, everything was news to you. “I didn’t know that.”
Jungwoo rifled through his pockets for a spare key, pressing it into a lock on a nearby door as he rambled, “I wouldn’t either, but my dad worked here. And my granddad. With their debts, they passed down useless knowledge.”
Your interest was quickly piqued. Maybe you didn’t need to take your chances with an older worker after all. Jungwoo, way more affable and approachable, bore the knowledge of generations. “No knowledge is useless.”
“Yeah, maybe, but it’s not exactly power,” Jungwoo said, grabbing some items out of a utility closet.
“What do you mean?”
You watched Jungwoo shut the door and promptly lock it behind himself. “There are some things it’s better you don’t know, ma’am.”
“I’m sick of other people telling me what’s best for me,” you grumbled irritably. “I already know about the piano. Well, kind of.”
Jungwoo’s entire attitude flipped on a dime. Glancing across the hallway twice as if he was preparing to cross a road, he dropped his items on a cart and spoke softly, “Follow me.”
Obviously, you were confused, but you didn’t dare disobey. This might’ve been your only chance at getting closer to the truth.
Jungwoo led you to a door hidden behind the stairway with a big sign warding off intruders, though it was locked, as to be expected. This family apparently couldn’t afford to take any chances. With what, you had no clue.
Strangely enough, Jungwoo had a key and wheeled his cart inside of the room after it clicked open. You curiously trailed behind him once he locked it behind you, wanting to know all there was to learn about this place.
There was a chain to your right and Jungwoo tugged on it, watching the lights barely flicker on. It was dim and empty, and though it was a test of your willpower, you fought off your nerves and remained unbroken.
Narrowing into a hallway, the entrance seemed to go on for a hundred miles and a half. Your footsteps bounced off every wall and the sound made you nervous. Of course, Jungwoo would never in his life knowingly lead you astray and you chose to have faith in the belief that he’d never bring you straight to danger.
But it made you wonder. If you recalled correctly, Giselle mentioned something about scratching in the walls. Your understanding of architecture was limited, but this place had to be built in between other parts of the castle.
Weird, you whispered to yourself, rubbing your arms. It seemed that the deeper you went down this hallway, the colder the air got.
“Watch your step. It’s creaky,” Jungwoo warned, leaving his cart in the hall. You glanced around him to see what he was talking about and that was when you noticed another set of stairs.
You shook your head and cursed, “Pardon my language, but Jesus Christ - how deep does this shit go?”
Jungwoo chuckled. “Too deep, ma’am.”
You had no strength to tell him to drop the titles. This was a few conversations far from your first encounter with Jungwoo and he respectfully declined each of your suggestions for him to call you by your name.
The floorboards did indeed creak as you stepped down them and the sound couldn’t have been any more unnerving. You appreciated Jungwoo dutifully walking in front of you as if he was defending you with his life. Not that there was anything down here to jump out and get you.
You hoped.
Whatever disaster of a room that you just walked inside of was far from what you expected this staircase to lead to, though you weren’t too sure. At the end of the seemingly never-ending hallway was nothing but a pile of junk. If you were being frank, it looked like a bunch of hungry wild animals had a field day. Things had been tossed. Almost as if a fight of some kind had unraveled here.
It was a hot mess. The place looked a solid minute away from crumbling in on itself, and that was you being generous. Your arm hairs were standing at attention now. You took one good look at the barrels just shy of you, noted the temperature, and pieced together why.
“It’s… a cellar,” you said, noticeably disappointed.
“It was a cellar,” Jungwoo told you, glancing around and wrinkling his nose. “This room hasn’t been used for at least a decade.”
Voice dripping with sarcasm, you deadpanned, “You don’t say.”
“Oh, I say.”
Your lips parted and the room echoed with your laughter. You were very grateful that Jungwoo made you laugh, because it helped you forget how anxious everything about your surroundings made you. “Why?”
Jungwoo outwardly processed every emotion and confusion was the most expressive of the plenty. “Pardon?”
“Why did you bring me here?”
Jungwoo stepped forward, inspecting the walls as if he was checking for damages. And there were many. “Because I have something to tell you that I can tell nobody,” Jungwoo said, his usually chipper tone borderline stern. “But first I need you to tell me what you know.”
Those weren’t exactly inviting words, but it was Jungwoo. You could trust him. Or maybe you wanted to, at least, but you couldn’t even trust Jaehyun. You confessed, “Assuming you mean the piano, it’s nothing much. But I know it’s connected. To the sounds I hear at night, I mean.”
“Oh, the walking. And the whispers,” Jungwoo said like it was the most normal thing in the world.
You shook your head in disappointment. You weren’t fucking crazy and Jaehyun’s family wasn’t going to trick you into thinking that you were. “I knew I wasn’t the only one.”
Jungwoo’s tone was only slightly accusatory, “Jaehyun doesn’t know that you’re investigating.”
You frowned. He was a little too good at this. “You didn’t phrase that like a question.”
“There’s no way that he would let you get this close.”
“It’s been justified,” you huffed, irritated. All this secrecy and suspense was killing you. You just wanted to get to the heart of… whatever.
Skeptical, Jungwoo’s head was tilted. His loyalty was in you, but also the heir. “Has it?”
You donned your most assertive voice and reasoned, “Jaehyun is obviously keeping something from me. Things that keep me up at night for hours. I refuse to continue my life in such a manner. It’s an eye for an eye.”
Jungwoo listened to your rant and agreed that your actions were justified. Thus he would be keeping this between the two of you. With a nod, Jungwoo replied, “Okay, I understand.”
You nodded. “Good.”
“But I also understand the prince.”
Your eyes darted to Jungwoo.
Before you could part your lips to speak, Jungwoo added, “Because once you know the truth, it spreads and festers like a wildfire. If you let it, it can consume you. That’s why I hate that you know this.”
“I don’t know anything,” you grumbled.
“Jaehyun’s grandfather used to own that piano in his bedchamber,” Jungwoo started, passing down what only moments ago he thought was useless info.
“Yes, I know. Jaehyun told me.”
“Yeah, well, his grandfather was extremely territorial with the piano,” Jungwoo said hesitantly. “If there was a problem, he cleaned it himself. Mended it himself.”
You were yet to understand what that had to do with anything. “Sounds like he just didn’t want anybody touching his stuff.”
“That’s what my dad thought, but apparently anybody who touched it either died mysteriously or disappeared without a trace soon after.”
Your expression shifted from confused to painfully perplexed. “That’s foolish.”
“I told you that my father worked here. He thought it was rubbish. Then, one day after leaving to clean that very bedchamber, he never came back home,” Jungwoo said, willing himself to keep it together. After so many years, grief was a nonfactor. Despair was channeled into anger.
“Jungwoo…,” you trailed, choosing your words carefully. You knew what it was like to lose somebody. “Are you sure?”
Jungwoo’s eyes were sharper than you had ever seen them. You never knew such an easy-going guy was harboring so much pain. “I’ve been told that because I’m grieving a loss, I’ll believe anything for closure. I don’t agree. There’s something fishy going on and unlike the others, I’m not afraid to admit it to myself.”
“This is a lot,” you told him.
Jungwoo nodded, wholly aware. “True, but it doesn’t stop there. Did you know that Jaehyun had an older brother?”
Your shoulders stiffened, because you recalled mentioning that Jaehyun was an only child yesterday, and he became deflective. “No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah, four years older. Apparently, he died after falling out of a window.”
You grimaced. “He commited suicide?”
“So the story goes,” Jungwoo answered, but his tone said loud and clear that he didn’t buy it for one goddamn minute. “And get this - he fell from the window of his grandfather’s bedchamber.”
Scratching the back of your head, you asked skeptically, “How come the public didn’t know about the first-born son?”
Jungwoo snorted. “I had a feeling that you would ask. The royal family waits five years before announcing the birth of their children. Isn’t that convenient?”
“Almost too convenient,” you mumbled under your breath. If Jaehyun’s older brother died just shy of five years old, that would’ve simplified the process of covering up his death.
Jungwoo glanced over at you, aching. And maybe a little desperate. “Do you believe me?”
A tiny sigh escaped your mouth and you planted your palm on your forehead, overwhelmed by the load of information that was just dumped on you and unsure what to do with its weight. “If what you’re saying is true, this is dangerous,” you replied levelly.
Jungwoo huffed, “You’re telling me.”
“But Jaehyun and I have touched the piano on several occasions. I play it every night just so that I don’t have to hear those godawful noises,” you added, hesitating. “Shouldn’t I be dying?”
Jungwoo fell silent for a sudden, mulling something over. Then, he said quietly, “There is another possibility...”
“What?”
“Perpetuity,” was Jungwoo’s response, voice quieting even though only you were there to hear him. “This one I’m not so sure of. The rumor is that if you touch the piano, you meet one of two fates. Death at your hand, or being condemned to your worst nightmare. It sounds like bullshit.”
His confidence seemed to waver, but you were interested. You were driven by a determination to discover all there was to know about this godforsaken place. “How exactly is one condemned to their own nightmare?”
“Your deepest fear will become your ultimate fate,” Jungwoo explained, wrapping his arms around his torso. “Your worst nightmare will come to life. And you’ll live it everyday until you die.”
You devolved into nipping cold shudders. And it had little to nothing to do with the basically subzero temperature of the room that you occupied. Of course, Jungwoo didn’t mean literal nightmares, but it didn’t help that not too long ago you were being haunted by bad dreams.
Your worst fear was living the same day for the rest of your life. Adventure was your natural instinct and curiosity was your vice. It’s what you stood for and a part of yourself that you refused to negotiate. You could’ve had every dollar that the world had to offer, but you would never gamble away your freedom.
Thankfully, this life gave you more than enough. So what you were expected to be beautiful and ladylike when people had their eyes fixed to you. Did it matter? That didn’t change that when there was nobody there to judge you, you were liberated.
Because it had always been that way, ever since you were a kid. You knew that to some people your existence served one purpose. And you didn’t care. You got to be yourself in the solace of this gigantic palace.
At least for now. Freedom came with a sacrifice; your own sanity and peace of mind. And truth be told, you weren’t sure if it was a fair trade.
“I’ve been having these dreams,” you started, swallowing.
“What kind of dreams?”
“Bad ones,” you confessed, wanting to curl into yourself. Those dreams put the fear of god into you. “When the noises weren’t keeping me awake, these nightmares would take their turn. Jaehyun hunted me down in all of them. And I would wake up after he catches me.”
Jungwoo noticed that your voice was a little shaky and offered you a compassionate hand squeeze, saying, “It’s okay. They’re not real. Jaehyun wouldn’t hurt you.”
“I know, but…,” you trailed. “I had them repeatedly. Same dream, different night. The only other difference was that they would happen in another place. But they stopped after Jaehyun started taking me to play the piano before bed.”
Jungwoo stiffened. “That’s… convenient.” Like a lot of things here.
“I know,” you agreed, shaking your head. Just the thought of Jaehyun was making you tremble with anger. You knew he was secretive, but it felt like he was borderline lying to you.
Then again, Jaehyun didn’t deny that there was something that he was keeping from you. Instead of telling you cheap excuses of consolations, he admitted that there was something grave enough he couldn’t even confide in you about it. And you didn’t know if that was worse.
Things were beginning to appear increasingly more eerie. “Do you want to know why I took you down here?” Jungwoo asked quietly.
Bobbing your head, you shifted to give Jungwoo your undivided attention. Something about the vibes of this room put you off. You didn’t like it. You could sense that something heinous had occurred maybe in the very spot that you stood.
“The prince’s grandfather spent a lot of time down here.”
“Really?”
Jungwoo nodded. “Apparently, he flipped out one day and trashed the whole place. It happened a few days before he passed, so the story goes. Then, they relocated the cellar and closed this room off.”
That explains the mess, you thought to yourself. But not much else. “Why would they do that?”
“Like hell I know,” Jungwoo replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “My bet is that they’re hiding something. Which we already knew, but I get lost every time I try to figure out what it is exactly.”
“You aren’t the only one,” you droned, releasing a pained breath.
Jungwoo mustered a smile, but it was thin. “Well, if it’s quite alright, I would like to return to my duties, Your Highness.”
“Yes, of course. Thank you for everything. You’ve been a great help,” you said, bowing respectfully in gratitude.
Jungwoo mirrored your movement. “It’s been a pleasure,” he told you sweetly. “I can’t skip out on my daily responsibilities, but if you ever need me, say the word and I’ll come.”
After thanking Jungwoo again and him assuring you that you weren’t in any way indebted to him, you trailed him up the creaky stairs and headed your own separate ways.
The brightness of the hallway compared to the lifeless cellar made you squint your eyes and wobble towards the edge of the stairs as you took a moment to readjust. Your brain also needed a second to process the newfound information. Now you had more answers, but twice as many questions.
Maybe Jungwoo was right. Maybe knowledge wasn’t power; it was a burden. But you were already in too deep to quit looking.
Jaehyun was too preoccupied to accompany you to his grandfather’s former bedchamber tonight and thus you opted out of the visit altogether. Of course, you knew what would inevitably happen if you didn’t press those keys, but you had an aggressive curiosity to sate.
The piano and your dreams were related. You knew that now. But if one of the piano’s unpredictable fates was to prolong its victims' agony, how come it abated yours instead?
For half a second, you wondered if Jungwoo was really telling the truth. You wanted to believe him, you really did, but something came to you and whispered not to trust anyone.
Not even Jaehyun. Hell, especially not Jaehyun.
Pulling the blankets over his thighs, Jaehyun glanced over to you as he crawled into bed and asked, “Did you have a good day without me?”
“It was long without you,” you replied, plopping a glass of water at your bedside in case you got thirsty.
“I’m sure. What did you do?”
“A little bit of everything. I had the most wonderful dinner. I only wish you could’ve stuck around for dessert. The chef said he misses cooking in front of you.” It was only partly a lie. Your weakened appetite wouldn’t allow you to eat in spite of the full-course meals prepped for you.
Jaehyun was smiling at some passing memories of him tagging along with you to aggravate the chef with curious banter. Though you mainly did all of the talking. “That’s good,” he said, chuckling quietly in amusement. “Tell him that I’m sorry I wasn’t there to hush you.”
Rolling your eyes, you grumbled, “Whatever.”
Jaehyun's infectious laughter filled your ears again. “Goodnight,” he whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to your brow.
“Goodnight,” you said back, releasing a shaky breath. For all of a second, you forgot that you were mad at him. His arms felt safe. Like home.
This is your home now. A cool shudder wrecked through you. How Jaehyun could feel so dangerous but so inviting all at once was beyond you.
You sank to your bloodied knees, unable to withstand the cramp shooting its way up your calves. Your tireless sprinting left you with just enough strength to crawl behind a door, thanking god that it was unlocked and quietly pushing it closed.
The space was completely silent, save for your labored breaths that you endeavored to suppress. Jaehyun couldn’t have been too far. It was a blessing that you even managed to escape him.
For now. Something told you that he wouldn’t give up so easily.
Pure darkness suffocated you with its chokehold. You glanced up and searched desperately for a light source. Your surroundings were virtually invisible. Propping your hands on the door, you pushed yourself off of the floor and groped the wall for a light, finding a chain and tugging it impatiently.
It took a couple of tries for the lights to flicker on. The space around you was hardly any less dim, but at the very least, you could make out where you were.
“Darling, come back,” called out Jaehyun’s featherlight voice just outside of the door. “Let’s just talk. All I want is to talk.”
He was closing in. You never realized your heart could thump at this quick of a rhythm. You never imagined the day where you would be terrified for your life. Your eyes winced in pain as you moved along the cracked wall, but you couldn’t stop.
Shivers tensed your entire body as you descended down the hallway. Bare feet hit the cold naked floor, because you opted out of running in heels minutes earlier.
Jaehyun’s footsteps came louder, closer. You swore quietly to yourself, realizing that the lights might’ve shone under the door and given you away. But the harder you tried to move, groping the wall for purchase, the more tempted you were to cry out in excruciating pain.
And then the worst happened. The door opened, a fraction of outdoor light stretching down the hallway to where you stood.
Your heart screamed in panic and alarm. Fear was merciless. None of this was fair. Jaehyun could give chase for hours, and he would if it came down to it, but you were running on empty.
“Baby, I know you’re in there,” Jaehyun called out gently, yet menacingly altogether.
It took everything in you not to mutter, “Fuck,” under your breath as you tried to get further and further away from him, hoping and wishing that he wouldn’t follow you if you were quiet enough.
Taking in one deep inhale, you tried to stabilize your breathing, but after running halfway across the palace, your work was cut out for you. You walked inch by inch, careful with your motions in case your injured legs misstepped and you came to the ground with a resounding thud, and moved as soundlessly as you could.
To your shock, you came across a stairway. In spite of how strangely familiar it seemed, you didn’t know where it would take you, but there was absolutely no way in hell that you were turning back.
It was only down from here.
Except there was a problem. The stairs had no railing and you didn’t trust yourself to feel your way through without tumbling down to your doom. You dropped to the floor again, putting your back to wherever the stairs led, and began to descend.
Jaehyun’s footsteps let you know he was still there, easing his way down the dark hallway. You didn’t understand why he walked so leisurely, taking his time to capture you. Almost like he knew you wouldn’t get far either way.
Your feet passed one stair at a time, cautious. You didn’t want to make any noise, but that ship sailed when one of the stairs creaked loudly. They reacted unfavorably to too much pressure, whining in response.
Panic made your blood thump in your ear and you hoped that Jaehyun didn’t hear, but you gave up on that when he said, “Darling, I can hear you.”
With all hope gone, you scurried down the stairs, ceasing to care about how safely you got there as long as you still made it alive in the end. You didn’t focus on breathing. Only on getting the fuck out of here.
You kept glancing up the stairs just to make sure Jaehyun wasn’t too near until your foot touched a different cool surface and you knew you were at the bottom. When you turned around though, your terror only intensified.
There was no place for you to go. Nowhere for you to run. There were no other paths for you to take because the room was a dead end.
“Give up, baby,” Jaehyun said, finally at the top of the stairs. He was coming down, slowly but surely, and he was going to take you. “I’ve got you. There’s nowhere else for you to run.”
With every step he took down the stairs, you took twice as many backwards, wobbling towards a wall. Like there was some kind of secret passage that would save your life.
There was no use anymore. Jaehyun set his feet on the floor and grabbed you just as you tried to turn away from him, pulling you into his open arms. You never stood a chance. He was stronger than you. Faster than you.
“It’s all okay,” Jaehyun whispered as you sobbed, your back burning wherever his fingers attempted to soothe you. “We’re together now.”
Your body veered to life, jerking awake. Your eyes instinctively snapped to your legs, searching them for injuries, but at worst they looked slightly stiff.
The rest of you trembled. You knew this was going to come, but it felt worse than you remembered. With a quick glance to your left, you noticed that Jaehyun wasn’t there.
You didn’t know if it was really something that you should’ve thought twice about or if the circumstances were just naturally making you suspicious. Either way, you wanted to know where he was. After a long day of handling his responsibilities, he should’ve been unable to leave bed, and yet, his side of the bed wasn’t even a little warm.
Too cold for him to be in the bathroom. Too cold for him to take a quick trip to the kitchen for a midnight snack.
You impulsively decided to investigate and rose to your feet, putting your toes in your slippers and stealthing down the corridor. You didn’t know where to look, but it helped that you saw a light coming from just down the hall, and you followed it discreetly.
All it would take was one wrong move for Jaehyun to overhear your footsteps. There didn't seem to be anyone patrolling down this corridor, which was typical, because Jaehyun’s family usually had their guards stand outside the entrance doors.
That only meant that you had to be quieter. The door to Jaehyun’s office was wide open, inviting anyone to see what he was up to, but you didn’t want to make yourself known yet. You wanted to see who he was when you weren’t there.
Ignoring the formidable stares of the statues, you crept closer to Jaehyun’s private office, breathing solely through your nose. The same hallways you loved to cruise seemed so much scarier when the lights were off.
Finally, you approached the light, hearing chatter the closer you grew to the door. You attached yourself to the wall, peaking your head inside ever so slightly. But when you saw what was happening inside, you stifled a gasp.
Jaehyun was at his document-laden desk, looking far from exhausted, and he was sitting face-to-face with Jungwoo.
“Accordingly, I will have to take charge of the country a little longer and my parents duties will fall into my palms,” Jaehyun said, folding his arms across the desk.
Given that you were at an awkward angle, you couldn’t see Jungwoo's face, but you could hear the confusion in his voice, “I understand, Your Highness, though respectfully, I don’t see why you asked me here.”
“I’m requesting a favor.”
“May I know what it is?”
You shuffled to get a better glimpse into Jaehyun’s office, but scraped the floor with your heel in the process. You swore under your breath, hoping they didn’t hear you, and sensed your heartbeat quicken.
Jaehyun stiffened in his chair. “Did you hear that noise?”
“Well, this palace is infamous for them, but I’m afraid that I can’t say that I’m a victim of sound,” Jungwoo replied, cocking his head to trail his gaze where Jaehyun’s had fallen.
Your face tensed with confusion. Jungwoo didn’t hear the noises?
“That’s not what I meant,” Jaehyun said, standing from his seat to investigate.
At the sound of footsteps, you quickly tiptoed towards a nearby door, pushing it open and squeezing yourself between hardware supplies. It was a tight fit, but you only focused on avoiding Jaehyun.
He glanced around both sides of the hallway, as if he was preparing to cross a bustling road. There was nothing. You were hiding in a closet merely a few feet away.
You exhaled a quiet breath of relief when you heard him retreating, but frowned when you heard the door close behind him. You were clueless. What did Jaehyun have to hide? And with Jungwoo of all people, you wondered.
Stumbling out of the closet and into the darkness, you crossed your arms. Jungwoo was one of the few people you found reliable here, but there was something he knew right now that you didn’t. You turned the corner to withdraw back to Jaehyun’s bedchamber, immediately jotting down a mental note to press him about it later.
When you came back to bed, you found yourself still nervous without Jaehyun beside you. And you rebuked yourself for it instantly after.
You didn’t realize it in your sleep, but the place where your dream occurred was the cellar Jungwoo had taken you to. Only darker. And with a soon-to-be king chasing you to the end.
You shook your head with a groan, deciding that you would catch some sleep. For whatever reason, you had a strange feeling that you’d be needing it soon.
To your shock, it was daylight when you rose again. Somehow, you actually slept through the entire night. The only sounds that jolted you awake were those of impatient knocks coming from the bedchamber door.
You exhaled grumpily and groaned, “Can I help you?”
“Good morning, Your Highness. Per your husband’s wishes, I’ve come to wake you for your schedule today,” came Jungwoo’s voice.
Your eyes snapped open. Glancing to your side, you noticed that Jaehyun wasn’t there, and wondered if he ever returned. “I wasn’t aware that I had anything scheduled for today.”
“It was arranged overnight.”
“May I ask what was arranged?”
Jungwoo answered, “There will be a dinner party this evening in the east wing in honor of His Highness’ grandfather. The staff will be coming to style you shortly.”
Huh, I didn’t know that his grandfather’s birthday was today. Then again, Jaehyun was very private. “Okay, thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.”
Before he could run off to take care of his other tasks, you called out, “Jungwoo?”
“Yes, ma’am?”
You considered asking Jungwoo about his encounter with Jaehyun the night before, but decided at the last minute that you didn’t need him to know that you had been there. “Nevermind. Thanks a ton.”
For a whole day, you were kept preoccupied in Jaehyun’s bedchamber with a number of women fixed to you. The hours were so busy that you barely had time to think about your ongoing crisis. And half of you wondered if it was deliberate.
At least for a minute, you did. With the corset throttling the life out of you, it was difficult to focus on anything else. You were grateful when they lessened the pressure on your organs. The dress was a sparkling royal blue, like you suspected the bulk of the guests attire would be. According to Jaehyun, it was his grandfather’s favorite color.
It took hours for the women to finish with your makeup and hair. When the final touches were added, it was rapidly nearing dusk. The sun would be retiring below the horizon and the moon would settle over you now, quietly watching.
Just after seven o’clock, an nth staff member came to escort you to the ballroom on the east wing. You were disappointed that Jaehyun hadn’t come, but sucked it up. Like you, he had most likely been preparing for the party. He must’ve had other roles to fulfill. After all, it was in honor of his late grandfather.
His parents were out of the country, too. You remembered overhearing him mention to Jungwoo that their visit had been extended for whatever reason.
In a nutshell, he was a busy man.
Most eyes fell on you when you entered the ballroom’s double doors. You greeted anyone nearby courteously and extended them a polite thanks for coming, as a princess should welcome her guests.
But your attention was quickly drawn to your husband. You were still mad at him, or at least part of you wanted to be, but he looked mighty fine in that royal blue suit and his dark hair slicked back to hell. Goddamnit.
“Jaehyun,” you said when you finally caught up to him, almost out of breath. He refused to stay in one place for longer than a minute, one-by-one mingling politely with the crowd.
“There you are,” Jaehyun said, appearing more than glad to see you. Then, he grabbed your wrist, pressing his thumb to your pulse with an arched brow. “Your heart’s beating fast. Did you run a marathon before you got here or something?”
“Or something,” you murmured, shaking your head. Your husband was light on his feet.
Jaehyun said to a server passing by, “Please get my wife something cool to drink.”
“Yes, immediately, Your Highness,” the servant replied, making a break for the kitchen.
In the meantime, you scanned your husband. Other than his sexy suit that had your mouth watering to hell and back, Jaehyun was sporting a beaming smile, grinning from ear to ear. He looked happier than usual, in a way.
“You’re giving me that look.”
You flinched. His voice broke your thoughts, but your eyes kept wandering; wondering. “What look?”
Jaehyun retorted teasingly, “The one that makes me feel like you’re going to eat me.”
You snickered. “It’s your grandfather’s birthday. He’d be turning in his grave.”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind as long as we had fun. My grandfather was big on milking a celebration for all that it was worth. He partied until his last breath,” Jaehyun joked.
That was delightful news to you. “I didn’t know royals knew how to really party.”
“Please. You should see my mother after three shots of vodka when there’s no camera rolling. She’s full of crazy.”
Your heart simpered. There was a lot you didn’t know and hadn’t seen about this family. Remembering the thought itching at the back of your mind, you wanted to mention how he wasn’t in bed last night, but didn’t know if it was a good time. Instead, you opted for a quiet, “You didn’t tell me your grandfather’s birthday was close.”
You expected Jaehyun to respond with something deflective, but it caught you off-guard when he replied honestly, “There’s a lot of things I don’t tell you.”
Your eyes shone with shock, but you played it off. “Like what?”
Jaehyun kept his eyes fixed to your face without a word, as if he was studying you before making his move. “Darling, If I told you all there was to know about me, we’d be here for days,” he finally said. “Maybe weeks.”
“I want to know you,” you whispered, something poignant in your voice.
“You do know me.”
The gleam in your eye shifted from sad to vicious, to coy. “Do I?”
Jaehyun nodded his head, gently smoothing a hand down the small of your back. “Yes, you do. I may not always lay my heart on the line, but deep, deep down inside, you know me. The real me, baby.”
Your eyes were staring into Jaehyun’s, like they were trying to forcibly peel back his layers and bare his soul to you, but it was all in vain. All you could liken it to was looking at someone with drunk double vision, your eyes deflecting two different images of him and your mind unsure of which one to trust.
Sometimes I feel like you tell me just enough to keep me satisfied. And then you feed me more crumbs when I start to get cranky, like giving a bottle to a baby.
“That drink you wanted, sir,” came a manly voice from beside you.
“Thank you,” Jaehyun replied politely, handing you the glass of water.
You accepted it gratefully, although your thirst was no longer for anything tangible. Nothing that you could touch with your bare, naked hands. It was for something deeper.
Only a couple seconds later, Jaehyun said, “Well, I’d better get going.”
Your eyes went wide. “You aren’t staying with me?”
“I have some more guests to greet and then a speech to give, and then I should be all yours,” Jaehyun told you, shooting you a consoling grin. “You look beautiful in that dress, by the way.”
Your lips spread into a tired smile. “Thanks. I’ve been wearing it all day.”
Jaehyun snorted and gave you a final pat on the back of reassurance before stepping away.
The party seemed to drag on without Jaehyun near your side and you were irreparably bored. You chatted with some guests with a polite set of white teeth ready to flash, but only because it was the expectation. Sneaking a couple of peeks at Jaehyun, it looked like he was still making his rounds.
Usually, the king and queen would help, but they obviously weren’t here. Thus, it was Jaehyun’s problem. He couldn’t just leave his own grandfather’s party unattended. That wouldn’t be in good taste.
You took a curious glimpse around and wondered how long you could disappear without anybody noticing. Probably only a couple of minutes. The whole ballroom would definitely know if you made a break for the double entrance, but if you slipped away through the kitchen, you had better odds.
With your glass of water in hand, you casually sauntered towards the little back hallway, hopeful your guests wouldn’t question your getaway.
When you entered the kitchen, you were immediately asked, “Where are you going?”
“Ten,” you gasped, a hand on your chest. He hadn’t even glanced up from his phone. You nearly dropped the glass of water. It had exhausted its purpose. “Would you ask that to a server?”
Ten retorted, “Would a server enter the kitchen with clacking six inch heels?”
“Touché,” you said. That explained how he knew it was you without even looking.
Ten was the only son of the family chef and he had no regard for the royal life. Well, that was debatable. Your in-laws would’ve thought he was disrespectful, had they (god forbid) ever met. You took Ten as someone unafraid to challenge the status quo. Of course, the two of you vibed. It was refreshing to talk to someone who didn’t remind you of your title every now and then.
Ten never, ever called you Your Highness. Not because he thought it was beneath him, but because he recognized your need for a friend. Not a follower.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Just getting away for a second, if that’s okay with you,” you deadpanned, crossing your arms.
Ten gasped dramatically. “During the party in loving memory of your husband’s dead grandfather? That’s scandalous, babe.”
You scoffed. “Please. You’re not even at the party.”
Ten shot back, “I’m not married to the prince, either.”
Though you didn’t mean it at all, you snarled, “You make me sick.”
“You hate that I’m right,” Ten said boastfully, sporting a victorious grin.
“Yeah, whatever,” you grumbled. “Where’s your dad? I thought the stew was supposed to be out fifteen minutes ago.”
Ten shrugged. “Smoke break. I wouldn’t eat it if I were you. Gave me the business.”
You winced. “Jesus. Well, I’ll be back. I need some fresh air.”
“I’ll let the hubby know if he asks questions.”
“Thanks.”
Then, you were on your way.
The corridors were less dense than they typically were, though considering there was an event happening not too many feet away from you, you figured security was keeping a close eye on the hallway on the other side.
If you were being frank, you had no clue where you were going. You just knew that you couldn’t be in that room with all those people much longer. Maybe you were starting to realize that the royal scene wasn’t for you. Or maybe it was your heightened suspicion planting those thoughts in your head.
Whatever it was, you didn’t like it. You wondered if Ten would take you in. You had no idea what a day in the life of Ten Lee was like, but it wouldn’t hurt to find out. That was a nice backup plan.
But leaving Jaehyun would sicken you in ways more lethal than any deadly disease. And Jaehyun would never forsake this life in this castle.
It was a part of him.
You’re talking crazy, you hissed to your insane thoughts. Perhaps it wasn’t a great idea to leave you alone by yourself with nothing but your thoughts and the silence that fed them. You might’ve been better off finding a guest with ears prepared to be talked off.
The east wing was unfamiliar to you although much of it looked identical to the west one. When you somehow traveled back over to your side, it came to your attention that the gardens were nearby. Curious, you made a beeline for the doors, wondering if Giselle was out finishing up her obligations for the day.
Night had dulled the sky completely when you stepped onto the familiar stone paths. The moon was there in her full glory, round and curvy with a thin veil of mist overneath, and the stars were few.
The clacking thud that Ten spoke of was a telltale sign of your presence, but you didn’t see anyone there to warn. Instead, the sound grounded you in reality, keeping you as far away from your teetering thoughts as humanly possible.
Wind was the only other sound. Actually, that was a lie; you heard owls lurking somewhere in the distance and knew they were wide awake. A sign that the night had truly begun.
“Hello?” you called out. “Giselle?”
Silence. That was strange. These people usually worked from bright and early in the morning until unsettlingly dark and late at night, but of course, if Giselle had gotten off early, you couldn’t complain. Good for her.
You were prepared to turn away and disappointedly retreat back to the party when you barely noticed something out of place in the corner of your eye.
Blood.
You were a curious person by nature. But this wasn’t an inquisitive investigation. This was a precautionary measure to make sure that nobody was injured.
But what you saw made you physically nauseous, a stir settling in your belly instantaneously. Your first instinct was to scream at the top of your lungs. Giselle was sprawled out just shy of the ice cold stone, lying on her stomach in a thick pool of her own blood.
“Oh my heavens,” you exclaimed, paralyzed with shock. Or fear. Probably a little (or a lot) of both.
Given that there was a ladder pressed against a tall tree and pruners almost right near her body, you made the reasonable assumption that she’d fallen. The shock dimmed a little in order so that you could think, and you kneeled over to check her for a pulse, but came to the heart-stopping conclusion that she was dead.
You backed away from Giselle. Your heart ached for her, but you couldn’t touch a dead body. The smell of death was foreign and overwhelming and you didn’t know how to keep yourself composed. Finding your bearings, you did what any reasonable person would do after discovering a lifeless body.
You went to find help.
It looked like an accident, like she had taken a wrong step and made a fatal mistake, but that didn’t mean you could just leave her there to rot. Somebody still had to call the police. And an ambulance.
Tears blurred your vision as you ran back to the east wing. You couldn’t believe that Giselle was gone. You didn’t want to believe that. She never let you get too close, but you recognized Giselle for the hard-working woman she was that had her life all too suddenly ripped away from her.
Fuck, this shouldn’t have happened. Giselle divulged to you about how her family needed her. They survived off of her income, her grueling long hours of hot hard work.
Your mind couldn’t help but come to the worst possible conclusions. What if she knew too much? She was the first one to mention the piano to you and she seemed to be in denial about something.
No, that’s ridiculous. There’s no way the monarchy would kill a devoted worker for keeping their filthy secrets, especially from their newest addition. She’s been inadvertently doing them a favor.
Then again, someone was guaranteed to keep a secret if it died with them. Still, there was no evidence that her untimely death and the piano’s curse was even remotely linked together. You saw the scene yourself. It looked like an accident, not a crime.
That made you remember what Jungwoo told you in the cellar about the deaths and disappearances. About how anybody who touched the piano either died mysteriously or disappeared without a trace.
You had no way of knowing for sure if Giselle ever touched the piano, but if she was a victim of sound, as Jungwoo put it, that should’ve somehow placed a target on her back. And yours. You shuddered at the thought.
Spooky sounds meant contact with the piano. You had done more than touched it. You’d played it. Almost every night for weeks. Jungwoo mentioned to Jaehyun that he didn’t hear the sounds, but he never told you if he touched the piano, either.
But if his father had, then knowing what Jungwoo knew, you doubted that he would.
Whatever it was, nothing made it easier to cope. Pictures of blood kept flickering behind your eyelids whenever you blinked. Your sobs echoed off the hallway walls with your hurried footsteps, but noticing the double doors finally come into view, you tried to pull yourself back together.
You subconsciously sighed out in relief when you got there, but when you came to draw it open, the hands refused to budge. “Fuck!” you cursed out.
Not that anybody would hear you. There was music thumping beneath your feet even outside the door and it would’ve done you no good to knock. It was strange that the door was locked, though. Now that you thought about it, there also weren’t any guards in the hallways.
But there was another entrance through the back.
Ten, you thought, already running again. Your legs ached from sprinting in heels, but somebody needed urgent medical attention. And Ten had a cellphone.
The kitchen entrance luckily wasn’t too far from where you already were and you came prepared to charge through the doors, but those, like the others, were also locked. You started to bang tirelessly on the door, yelling with complete vigor, “Ten, open the door! Someone needs help!”
There was no answer. You tried to beat harder, to scream louder, but every effort seemed useless. With your voice turning hoarse, that glass of water you left inside the kitchen suddenly sounded tempting.
“What the fuck,” you grumbled under your breath, exhausted and confused and in shock. You needed to lie down, but you refused to rest until help was on the way.
Why would Ten suddenly leave? Dinner couldn’t have even been ready yet. You didn’t know why he tagged along with his dad sometimes, but you did know that they came and went in the same
vehicle.
There was a door just to your left, one that led outside where Ten’s father would’ve parked. You immediately made a beeline for it, curious if they were gone. It was the only way you could rationalize the locked door and Ten’s absence.
You hoped to see somebody out there, and you did, but they weren’t breathing.
The chef was on the ground where he usually took his smoke breaks, bleeding as if he was torn from every seam and had been ripped open from every angle. You gaped, fixing a hand to your mouth as you wobbled in surprise, gripping the nearest wall for purchase.
Turning away from him, you heaved for breath and tried to keep your stomach's contents inside where they were. But there was blood splattered everywhere you looked. And if you thought the stench was overpowering earlier, you were in for the wildest ride of your life.
This death said loud and clear everything that Giselle’s didn’t. This was no mistake. Matter of fact, this scene was so messy that it couldn’t have not been done deliberately.
“Oh my god,” you rasped, unsure of what to say. And what to do. Never had you seen a dead body outside of a funeral backdrop and having seen not one, but two very dead people was seriously wounding your ability to think.
All you knew was that something was fishy. You thought Giselle’s death was a self-inflicted mistake, but you weren’t so convinced anymore, all things considered. This was the second body to wash up, metaphorically speaking. And this one had been undeniably murdered.
There was a serial killer on the loose.
Your first thought was Jaehyun and you started to panic, but you consoled yourself with the reminder that he had an entourage of loyal servants to protect him with their lives and shield him with their bodies. He was okay. Giselle and Ten’s father, on the other hand, not so much.
Speaking of Ten, you still had no clue where he was or what he was doing. For all you knew, he could’ve been the killer.
No. There’s no way. Ten didn’t have a mean bone in his body, much less a murderous one. Plus, what would he have against Giselle?
And why would he kill his own father?
I don’t know. None of this makes sense. I don’t know why anyone would hurt Giselle or the chef, or anyone for that fucking matter, you huffed, angry. These people didn’t deserve to die. The person responsible would pay.
Unable to withstand the stench, you pinched your nose and turned for the door. Of course, it would be the only one unlocked. You had the misfortune of seeing what was behind lucky door number three.
Back in the halls, you only walked aimlessly. You had no idea where the fuck you were going and it was probably a terrible idea to be out and about with an anonymous blood-hungry murderer on the loose, but you weren’t thinking that far.
Images continued to flicker in your head. You wondered what were the last things these people saw before they died, if they knew what they had coming. And you realized what a shame it was that everything these people knew died the second they took their last breaths.
You couldn’t wrap your head around this happening. And you wanted to know why. With the chef’s murder, accidents were completely out of the window, and you thought about the piano again. But that made even less sense.
What business would the chef have with the piano? You doubted that man had ever strayed further than the dining hall.
Your thoughts traveled even further. Giselle was a gardener. The bulk of her work happened outside and there was hardly any need for her to come indoors when all the tools for her job could be found in the shed.
More than ever, you needed answers, and more than ever, they seemed impossibly difficult to come by.
The further you traveled down the hallway, the louder the sound of jagged breathing grew until it finally snapped you out of your biohazard of thoughts. You stiffened with alarm, body alert, and realized it might’ve been in your best interest to locate a useful weapon.
You ducked behind a corner, not wanting to be caught like a helpless damsel in distress if it was the killer (though only a lousy one would’ve been so noisy), but you heard a groan and knew in your heart that you recognized that voice.
Peeking around the corner ever so slightly, you noticed Ten clutching his stomach and clinging to a wall for dear life, sticky with hot sweat. And you discerned that he was no threat.
“Ten,” you called out, approaching him with concern. “What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?”
Ten shook his head, only barely keeping himself standing. You came to grab him and noticed he was burning up a thousand degrees, helping him slowly sit on the floor. “I told you. That stew gave me the business.”
“This isn’t just a stomach ache, Ten. I think you were poisoned,” you said, crouched down to be eye level with him.
Ten forced a smile even though he was clearly uncomfortable and in a lot of pain. “Yeah, you’re telling me. But my father was the only one controlling the food. He wouldn’t do that to me.”
The mention of his father made your shoulders stiffen. You scanned Ten’s face, wondering if you should’ve told him what you knew. If he was still alive by the end of this, he would find out one way or another. “Ten, have you seen your dad?”
“I know he’s dead.”
You cocked him a glance. “You don’t sound disappointed.”
“Do I sound like I’m in a lot of pain?” Ten asked.
“You sound like you’re trying to keep yourself whole.”
“That’s because I’m kinda dying here. I’m sorry if I’m bad at multitasking,” Ten hissed, paling on the spot.
Your gaze turned apologetic. “Listen, I’m sorry,” you whispered quietly, glancing around the hallway for suspicious onlookers. “I’ve found two dead bodies and I’ve been running all over the palace looking for help. Please, don’t be the third.”
“Trust me, I don’t wanna be any more than you want me to be…,” Ten trailed, wincing. “Holy fuck. Holy fucking shit. I’m gonna die.”
“Don’t say that!” you screamed.
Ten threw his head back and groaned, “Babe, I feel like my guts are being ripped open, and not in a good way.”
You wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Ten was good at keeping the mood as light as it could be as he literally died right before your eyes. And there was nothing you could do to save him. You felt helpless.
“We’ve got to find help,” you told him, grabbing his hands in yours.
Ten shook his head. His skin was glistening with a thick layer of sweat and each of his breaths sounded labored. “I can’t move. The room feels so hot. I think I’m gonna pass out.”
He looked like it, too. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes, but you fought them back. At the very least, if Ten was going now, he wouldn’t go alone. “Ten, somebody did this to you. You already said your father wouldn’t. Somebody else had to be in the kitchen.”
Ten shrugged weakly. “So many people went in and out of the kitchen. I don’t even know their names. It could’ve been anyone.”
You released a shaky breath. That answer helped no one.
Ten’s eyes started to flutter and you shook him in your arms, begging, “No, please don’t close your eyes on me. You’re a fighter. Fight.”
“I’m fighting,” he whispered, voice on the verge of silence. “But sometimes we just lose.”
“I can’t lose you, too,” you cried, trembling as you held him. For as long as he was there, breathing and talking to you, you wouldn’t let him think that he was alone.
Ten shook his head. You knew he had given it his all, because Ten wasn’t the type to go down without a fight, even if he didn’t win in the end. He’d never let someone else claim a peaceful victory. “If I die right now, I want you to know it’s been a pleasure knowing you.”
“Ten…,” you said. Tears made your eyes burn now. You were clenching your fists so hard his hands were probably sore.
“They might come for you. Don’t surrender. Whoever this guy is, you give them hell until you can’t anymore.”
A lone tear finally slipped past your cheek. “What if I don’t make it?”
“Then you die knowing you did absolutely everything you could to stay alive,” Ten whispered with the last of his strength.
Your heart was bursting with sadness and unadulterated rage. To watch somebody in their final moments was different than imagining it unfold. This made it even more real. This was a picture you would never forget even in death.
Finally, Ten’s strength gave out, and you lingered there for a minute even after. Your thumb pressed to his wrist and you noted that he still had a weak pulse.
You nodded your head. That was enough for you. But you had to find help immediately.
And you absolutely had to find out who was responsible for this. They would have a brutal punishment.
You wiped the tears from your eyes and started to run again, but you didn’t get far before you collided into Jaehyun’s chest, and you released a breath of relief when you saw him. “Oh my goodness, Jaehyun. Thank god it’s you. I’ve been trying to get help for ages. Two people are dead and I think Ten’s on his way out.”
Jaehyun’s voice was unbothered. “Really?”
You realized then that the night was far from over.
You pulled back, suspicious. You just told him that two people had died in his castle. He should’ve been fuming. “Why do you sound so nonchalant?”
Jaehyun’s lips were in a line. “I warned you not to go looking too deep. You should’ve listened like a good girl.”
The realization was starting to settle in, but you didn’t want to know the truth. You didn’t even want to fathom it. For so many weeks, you’d been unknowingly wallowing in ignorance. “This is your fault. You did this, didn’t you?”
“Yes. All of it was me,” Jaehyun said, like he was proudly boasting about his murders.
You shook your head. You knew there was something going on, something that your husband was at the heart of, but not like this. “Ten’s dying.”
Jaehyun looked and sounded completely indifferent, “Okay, that’s dramatic. He shouldn’t be dead. He’s in for a solid nap, though. And a concussion if he hit the ground too hard.”
That didn’t happen. You had been the one to personally lower Ten to the ground. Either way, you were none too pleased. You weren’t sure if that was supposed to be reassuring, because Jaehyun’s tone was empty and his face was borderline inscrutable.
Your whole body felt weak. The room was spinning. Your own body was on the brink of collapse.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Jaehyun commented, studying your appearance. You probably looked like you had actually run a marathon.
“You’re a monster,” you snapped, brimming with loathing and hatred.
Jaehyun didn’t flinch. “It’s been said,” he told you, like it was only a regular insult to him.
You shook your head. This couldn’t be happening.
Jaehyun took a step closer to you, and you took twice as many back. You wanted to be nowhere near him. This wasn’t the Jaehyun you knew. He was cold. Alternatively, maybe this was the Jaehyun you’d known all along, the one you’d tried to suppress.
Your mind was showing you the warning signs. She was giving you all the right signals. And yet, you were blind to each of them.
Jaehyun tilted his head, looking at you with fucking nothing. There was nothing in his eyes. Nothing on his face. “Do you believe in happy endings?”
“Not with you in it,” you seethed, convulsing with a newfound anger you never thought you could possess, much less direct towards your husband.
Jaehyun snickered for the first time since you’d last seen him. “I’m giving you the chance to have yours.”
You glared at him, wary. “What does that mean?”
“It means that you have thirty minutes to leave this castle and have your happy ending without me, but if I catch you before then, you’re mine. It’s like hide and seek.”
You wanted to rage. This man had the audacity to play fucking games with you when so many lifes were gone and many more were probably at stake. There was no telling who else he’d hurt. “When do my thirty minutes start?”
“Right now.”
You left then and there. You couldn’t stand to be in proximity of Jaehyun for another fucking second. And he didn’t follow. He was letting you think that you had a chance.
When you turned the corner, safely out of his vision, you could finally acknowledge the beaten and battered condition of your heart. The look Jaehyun had given you only moments ago was unlike any other you’d ever seen. It was colder.
You should’ve seen it coming. Jaehyun was the missing piece. This was all happening because of his grandfather’s piano, for fuck’s sake. The same grandfather whose birthday happened to be today. Of course, it wasn’t a coincidence that bodies started dropping that same day.
You were angry. You were hurt. To be honest, you were just the right amount of everything. And yet, you were thinking about how madly you were still in love with Jaehyun.
Wincing your eyes closed, you wished that this was just a nightmare like everything else. That you would wake up in Jaehyun’s arms and he'd tell you that it was all a bad dream. Unfortunately, the longer the night went on, the more you accepted that that couldn’t be farther away from the truth.
The only real difference was that Jaehyun wasn’t right on your tail. He was giving you an opportunity to escape and free yourself from this hellhole once and for all. Your shoulders suddenly felt cold when you recalled something that he’d told you.
I would never chase you, Jaehyun had said. I will always have you right where I want you.
The statement made you feel uneasy then, but you overlooked it, because you wrongfully assumed that Jaehyun was harmless.
You shook the thoughts away. He wasn’t worth thinking about right now. Survival was your top priority and escaping was the only way you’d ever know peace.
The palace had a grand total of four entrances stretched across its acres - the main gate, the east entrance, the south entrance, and the west entrance. Only the east entrance was nearby. You knew Jaehyun wouldn’t have made this easy, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.
You hurried to the nearest exit leading outdoors and breathed only a little easier when you were met with the fresh, crisp night air. Given that you’d been running in heels for what felt like hours, you finally ditched them near a bush and started to run again.
Traveling to the gate would take forever without a car. The same could be said about the rest of the castle, far from tiny, and you only had thirty minutes on the clock.
You had to make every minute count.
You wanted to sob, but you focused solely on getting the fuck out of there. You hadn’t forgotten about Ten, but you couldn’t help him here. Jaehyun had apparently taken mercy upon him, sparing his life where he hadn’t hesitated to steal others.
Why? Was it some kind of reflection of control? Did he realize that Ten wasn’t the root of his need to kill?
Whatever that was.
“Too much is going on right now,” you whispered to yourself, heart thudding quicker.
For a second you wondered if the other staff you cared for was alright. These were people you saw everyday, working from dusk till dawn, and yet still treated you with respect and kindness. Their sweetness deserved to be spread, not eliminated and forgotten.
Giselle was gone and had no hope for revival, but as far as you were concerned, Jungwoo was still skipping around with a burden of secrets on his shoulder. Part of you couldn’t bring yourself to fully trust him, not after his disaster of a meeting of Jaehyun, but that didn’t mean he should’ve died.
Apparently, you and Jaehyun weren’t on the same page. The worst part was that you couldn’t even begin to fathom what he got out of slaughtering his employees like animals. You’d never been able to see inside his head.
The east gate came into view and you circled in on it, desperate to make an escape. You briefly considered the possibility of Jaehyun being nearby, potentially having taken a closer exit, prepared to hinder you by any means necessary.
But when the gate refused to budge like you feared, you came to the conclusion that he was definitely far away. Jaehyun was five steps ahead of you.
He had all of the advantages in this twisted game, you realized. Jaehyun grew up in this palace; he obviously had to know all of the ins and outs, every nook and cranny. It would take you, on the other hand, the entire thirty minutes to navigate from one end of the place to the other.
This game was never created to be fair. You remembered him showing you little shortcuts along the palace to make your trips shorter. If you wanted to survive, you’d have to fight for your life.
“Fuck,” you groaned under your breath. You had no way of telling for sure how much time had passed, but if you had to guess, at least ten minutes.
The sky was dark and mistier than it was earlier. At least it felt that way. The tears stinging your eyes made it even harder to see and you were inching closer to succumbing to the battle. If Jaehyun had rigged it from the start, you knew there was no way in hell you were getting out.
But Ten’s words rang out in your brain. He was alive for now, but as far as he knew, they could’ve been his final ones. And you knew you couldn’t give up yet.
Mustering the courage to continue fighting like Ten would’ve, you remembered something. There was an emergency exit near Jaehyun’s grandfather’s room. You didn’t care to know why. Bad things just seemed to happen when he was involved.
Without a second thought, you headed back inside. If you wanted out, you didn’t have a choice.
Your sanity fought for control against your pumping adrenaline and you came to accept that it wasn’t possible for both to coexist with each other. One or the other. And if you were up against a sicko like Jaehyun, you needed to fight fire with fire.
You had to degrade yourself to his level, meet him where he was at. You had to become you at your worst version. A hell-raising monster with a thirst for blood.
There was a familiar ground nearby when you approached the door. The part of the garden you never wandered into, because it was the same place that godawful dream happened. With the pond and stone galore.
You quickly swiped a pitchfork, throwing it over your shoulder, and when you were finally through the door, started sprinting back down the hallways. The emergency exit was all the way in the west wing and you had less time than you would’ve liked to make it the hell out of there.
Every bone in your body ached, but you had too much to fight for. You didn’t even know what all was at stake if Jaehyun won, but you didn’t want to know, and you couldn’t sleep beside him at night anymore knowing who he was and what he’d done.
Turning each corner, you looked around for signs of a lingering Jaehyun before you kept going. Every hallway looked exactly the same as the one that came before it and it made you feel like you were walking in circles, impossible to tell if you were even going anywhere. It was thrusting you far past the brink of madness.
Minutes passed, but courtesy of the painful yet handy adrenaline rush, it felt like seconds when you found the west wing stairs. Taking the elevator would’ve been a quicker option, but if Jaehyun was nearby, he would know if the elevator was preoccupied, and you had no interest in playing russian roulette with your life.
But there was a familiarly pungent smell in the air.
You wanted to be sick when you saw the source. The others were messy, but this death was brutal in ways you had never witnessed. Jungwoo’s remains were perched on the stairs within a pool of nauseating blood, sitting in his own overkill.
His insides were definitely on the outside. Matter of fact, they were everywhere, decorating a number of steps. Jungwoo was savagely mangled and mutilated, similar to how a wolf would ravage an elk, like his killer wanted there to be little to nothing of him left.
“Jungwoo,” you gasped in shock, crouching down as your legs started to tremble.
His dead body was on display. Like the person who killed him wanted you to see what they’d done. And you couldn’t bring yourself to accept that Jaehyun was the reason why.
All the skepticism you had towards him devolved into regret. Of course, Jungwoo wasn’t to blame for any of the wicked stuff happening in the shadows. Like his father, he was a victim. And at the end of the day, like you, all he wanted was answers.
There was a weight on your chest and an unbridled rage spiraling inside your heart. “I’ll find them for you,” you whispered vengefully.
Then, you heard it. Scratching in the walls stretching near the stairway. In spite of the several claims of their existence, you’d never heard them until now. Soon after, you could’ve swore you heard a familiar voice.
Jaehyun. He was in the fucking walls?
Stepping around Jungwoo’s bloody corpse, careful not to step your bare feet in any stray specks of blood, you headed upstairs with a sparkling revolve keeping your blood pumping. The emergency exit was close.
It was actually right down the hallway. When you were walking from the bedchamber with Jaehyun, the journey felt longer, but you ignored every glare from those evil statues and came right in front of the emergency door.
After yanking the knob, it begrudgingly opened and you stepped inside without a moment of consideration. There was no time. Do or die.
The door closed behind you on its own terms. You just kept pushing. This was your only ticket to escape and though you weren’t exactly sure where the path led, you had no intention to stop and fret about your whereabouts. It was worth nothing though, that the deeper you came, the more it felt like a secret passageway.
The hallway didn’t look the way you pictured an escape route. The walls were accessorized with portraits and lights. And you couldn’t believe your shock when you saw it diverge into different paths like a crossroad.
This fucking was a secret passageway.
There was something else you noticed. Those scratches sounded closer than they had when you were outside, like somebody dragging their nails onto the walls as they walked.
“What the fuck?” you wondered.
You stiffened when you heard your husband’s voice, “Darling, is that you? Your thirty minutes are over.”
Nope. Silent as ever, you made for the other path. You were picking your battles.
Jaehyun was probably closer to the way out of here after all. He would’ve never given you a free opportunity. He was probably guarding the escape just in case you were clever (or lucky) enough.
His footsteps were slow. You couldn’t see him, but you could hear him, and he was in no particular hurry to catch you. You worried that you were walking into a dead end, but when you came out on the other side, there was another set of doors.
Your eyes flickered between them. You had time to waste before Jaehyun even got anywhere close to you, but you wanted to get ahead. After a moment of carefully contemplating, you made the nerve-wracking decision to go for the right.
When you stepped out, you found yourself right back where it all began. You were outside, but not as far as you would’ve liked. It was the gardens. You glimpsed around and saw the tree you wed Jaehyun under.
Though it had been full of white flowers the day you exchanged vows, promising each other eternity, they had unfortunately succumbed to the drier air.
“That was a fun day, huh?”
Your startled body jolted with alarm and the usual ease that filled you when you realized it was only Jaehyun behind you was nowhere to be found. He was the evil you’d been searching for, hiding in plain sight.
He had you fooled. He made you think that he was somebody he wasn’t. Worst of all, you believed him. You trusted him, completely and utterly. You were willing to give him all of you at the drop of a dime.
“Stay back. I’ll hurt you,” you threatened, posing the pitchfork in your sweaty hands.
Emotion flickered over Jaehyun’s face; amusement. “A pitchfork? That’s really medieval, don’t you think?”
Your tone darkened, “I’m warning you.”
Jaehyun stepped closer, leaving himself open and vulnerable. “Then, do it. I’m right here. I have no weapon,” he said, holding his hands above him.
Panic settled in. It occurred to you that your feelings for Jaehyun would never let him hurt you unless your own life was threatened, and for some reason, you believed that Jaehyun would never hurt you. He had all of the opportunities. Yet he had never a finger on you.
Plus you still needed answers. For yourself, and for the people whose lives were taken because of them. Tears stinging your eyes again and a shattering echoing out in your heart, you tossed the pitchfork aside and roared, “I hate you!”
“That isn’t true,” Jaehyun said, gentle and tender. His voice was loving, but his eyes were soulless. “You love me. I make you happy.”
You shook your head vigorously. “I’ve spent the past couple of hours in distress, all because of you. Why? What’s really going on, Jaehyun?”
“At the end of the day, the piano calls, and I answer. The responsibility skipped my father, but it’s what my grandfather did. I didn’t have a choice,” Jaehyun said, wholly convinced that this was some god-given obligation.
And you were having none of it. It was just excuses. “That doesn’t make sense. You killed all of those people because of a fucking piano?”
“This is why I couldn’t tell you. I knew that you wouldn’t understand. You have to live it to know.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” you seethed, stepping away from him.
Jaehyun didn’t follow. He was comfortable standing there and watching you, because he knew you had nowhere to run. “This isn’t a regular piano. It hands out curses like candy. It’s an entity and to prevent itself from being destroyed, it chooses its protectors.”
The whole world was spinning. Was he trying to tell you that the piano was alive or something?
“He was the chosen protector - my grandfather, I mean. Like I said, it skipped my father and went to me. The piano gives anyone that touches it one of two curses to protect itself. I only enforce that fate.”
The world around you was starting to blur. Jaehyun didn’t see those corpses as people. Instead, he saw them as curses that needed to be removed.
Standing required too much extra strength that you didn’t have. You stumbled and staggered, weakening by the second, and when you started to head for the ground, Jaehyun caught you in his strong arms. “Careful. You might get hurt.”
He was perfectly composed while everything as you knew it was falling apart, piece by fucking piece. Glancing into his eyes, you hissed, “What are the curses?”
“Hm?”
“You said that when someone touches the piano, they get one of two curses. What are they?”
“Death,” Jaehyun said as normal as ever. “Or perpetuity. They have to live their worst fear until the day that they croak.”
You didn’t think that you could get any angrier, but that didn’t even begin to describe the sharp pain heating your whole body up to hell. “You let me touch that piano, you encouraged me to, knowing I would immediately be cursed.”
Jaehyun saw where you were going with this and replied coolly, “If I knew you were going to die, I would’ve kept you away from it.”
“So you knew I would’ve been cursed with perpetuity,” you said in an accusing tone. “Meaning you knew my biggest fear.”
“I might’ve exploited my power. Your every nightmare revolves around me. You’re so scared of me it keeps you awake at night. I had to use that to my advantage. I can’t lose you.”
And there it was. The ugly truth on a silver platter. Jaehyun gave you the creeps and instead of trying to prove his innocence to you, he took advantage of your fear, making sure to create a reality where you would never be able to get rid of him for as long as you both breathed.
This was the end. Glancing at the tree where you exchanged vows only earlier this spring, you realized that everything pointed back to Jaehyun. It always had.
Pulling back from Jaehyun, because you couldn’t stand to touch him, you snapped, “You didn’t chase me, because you knew that in the end, everything led back to you.”
Jaehyun didn’t deny it, chuckling. Like he thought that he was clever. “Why would I chase you when I’ve already bound you to me?”
You physically felt weak and sick. You didn’t want to believe that Jaehyun had somehow manipulated your fate so that you couldn’t leave him. Your only escape was through death. Every shaky exhale you took ached.
Jaehyun continued, “That’s why your little dreams don’t make sense. It doesn’t matter how far or quickly you run away from me. I will always catch you without trying. I always get what I want and you’ll never slip through my fingers. You’re mine.”
At those words, you wobbled away, but it was more like a vicious drawback. “You killed Giselle and Jungwoo and Ten’s father. Why?”
Like he was incapable, there wasn’t a lick of remorse in Jaehyun’s voice when he replied, “I put Giselle out of her misery. She had the perpetuity curse. No matter how hard she worked, she was going to be doomed to her worst nightmare for the rest of life - dying poor. I only made it happen sooner. It was quick.”
You felt like regurgitating yesterday’s lunch the longer this conversation happened, but you held it back.
“Jungwoo had it coming. He didn’t have the curse, unlike his father, but it was obvious that he had a thing for you and it was disgusting. I honestly did him a favor. He doesn’t have to live in pain anymore.”
Had a thing for you? You never got that vibe from Jungwoo. He was polite and respectful, and you treated him likewise. You never thought you would get a man killed for his manners.
“And the chef,” Jaehyun began, pleasure flickering onto his face for the briefest of seconds, but you swore it was there. “He was just practice and a victim of opportunity. It’s been a minute. I’m rusty.”
“You killed him for no reason,” you spat.
“It appears that way.”
Your body recoiled with every unpleasant feeling it had to offer. “You killed Jungwoo for no reason, too. He was just a nice guy,” you said through gritted teeth.
It was like the angrier you got, the calmer Jaehyun stood, taking every one of your metaphorical hits like they were a gentle nudge to the shoulder. “I killed him out of love for you. He wanted what was mine. I had to remind him of his place. He was a nobody.”
Turning away, you decided that you couldn’t look at Jaehyun any longer. You couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. You were upset and disappointed and everything in between.
Jaehyun’s eyes were fixed to that goddamn tree. “I had no feelings for you at first. Marrying you was just another duty I knew I had to fulfill for my country. It was business. But then we started to get to know each other, and I fell for you.”
“I had feelings for you too,” you croaked, voice shaking with pain.
Jaehyun was quick to add, “You still do. Don’t you see what I did for you? I turned you into royalty.”
“I never fucking asked you to,” you screamed off the top of your lungs. Letting the whole palace hear you for all you cared, if anybody was still alive in there. “I married you because it was what my parents wanted. I just happened to actually like you for a minute.”
“You’ll come around,” Jaehyun said nonchalantly, unfazed by your aggression. “You’ll realize that you were made for me. And you’ll accept that our love was written in the stars.”
There were no stars when you glanced into the night sky. Not even a sliver of the moon. Even she was too ashamed of what was happening under her nose right now and couldn’t bear to witness it unfold.
But it dawned on you then. The only time you would ever see the moon and her stars again was if you stepped onto the grounds of this very garden. Jaehyun had caught you. You waltzed straight into his trap and now you had to reap what you’d sowed.
You were his. Whether you liked it or not. You might’ve not ever given up on escaping him, even if it took a lifetime, but for right now, Jaehyun had won.
“Let’s go, baby,” Jaehyun said, wrapping an arm around your waist. You shuddered. His hands were cold to the touch. “It’s late. We should get ready for bed. We have to stop by the piano so that you don’t have bad dreams.”
The walk to Jaehyun’s grandfather’s bedchamber was quieter than it had ever been. You kept him at arm’s length, ashamed. And maybe a little fearful.
And there the piano stood in its glory when the door opened, untouched and unmoving. She was evil as ever, wallowing in her curse. Your fingers ran across the keys as the curse wrecked through your blood, present and constant.
“I’ll never forgive you for this,” you whispered, glancing up at Jaehyun.
For the first time in a minute, Jaehyun smiled. He replied sweetly, “Darling, it’s okay. You’ll understand soon. We only have each other now.”
You didn’t want to know what that meant. Instead, you pressed your fingers to the bitterly cold keys, squeezing your eyes closed as you played a melody by heart.
Finally, tears started to fall down, gathering on the keys. Then, you realized that you weren’t a victim of sound, but an indulger. Your body was there, but your mind was with nature. With the blowing wind and gentle breezes, the rippling water and swimming critters.
Your mind was with your friends. With Giselle in the garden, helping her trim branches and plot plants for the queen. With Jungwoo, exploring new places around the palace that you never knew existed. With Ten, rambling about anything and everything under the sun.
You escaped through every harmonious noise, fingers pacing ruthlessly, and keeping your eyes closed as you pretended that everything was okay.
Jaehyun came behind you, resting his head on your shoulder while his arms came around you again. His touch was familiar and though it used to keep you whole, when you sat there, defenseless and helpless, you could feel a piece of you break off and die in his arms.
don't u just love it when the camera angle squishes joshua's face and he looks so cutie ittle baby
[svt laughing] 🍚
the plot is super good, though dokja kinda feels too good to be an MC yk? like he just feels way too powerful. I suppose reading the entire comic that basically told you what all is going to happen when the world ends does make you like indestructible, but only to like a certain extent right?? also I LOVE the way women are drawn in the manhua! hmm what else. oh yeah junghyeok-- man I have conflicted emotions- I think that at the point I am in the story, I don't really know him well enough to make judgements
[the constellation "dame of darkness" likes this friendly development.] [100 coins have been sponsored.]
ok i should Not have gone through the omniscient reader tag because i was immediately hit with spoilers and i literally started reading it only yesterday 💔
Okay, you still have a spot. Great. I thought they'd be filled so, I didn't send anything lmao. Insomnia has its perks.
This is deeply self-indulgent and I'd love more Hao from you. So, hear me out, Minghao with a breeding kink. I feel like it doesn't get enough attention especially given how much that man gravitates towards babies lol. Like he and Reader visit Cheol's and see him with his new baby and, Hao's like oh, wait a minute. I think this is making me feel some type of way.
minghao has a knack for keeping the things you tell him in mind. from your favorite brand of wine to how the idea of bearing children terrifies you—he remembers all of it. so your husband is in a bit of a crisis when he realizes that this newfound desire to start a family kind of clashes with something you trusted him to respect.
★ FEATURING; minghao x f!reader
★ WORD COUNT; ??? idk bc mobile <3
★ TAGS; idolverse, established relationship, hao trying (and failing) to play it cool about the wanting-to-be-a-father thing, brief discussion abt family planning, this is only a little sad bc hao has overthinkeritis, smut (MINORS DNI!)
★ WARNINGS; mentions of pregnancy and childbirth but nothing too graphic
★ NOTES; i scheduled to post this when it hit exactly 12 midnight in rj's timezone just in time for her birthday :> (pls look away if i got the schedule wrong,,,) i'm not really back yet bcs this is a queued post, but happy birthday, beloved. i love you more than i can say directly, so i decided to just write a fic for you instead! hopefully, i can come back and torment you with every other seventeen member BUT cheol soon :3c
★ SMUT TAGS; unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampie, multiple rounds, mating press, hao is just really feral in this yk
★ PERMANENT TAGLIST; @cheolhub - @pretty-trustme - @just-here-to-read-01 - @idkmelkro - @dejavernon - @venusrae - @jyiiscool - @jiniesclub - @junhui-recs - @bldelaine - @featmia - @fruitzcup - @hoeforhao - @candidupped - @billboard-singer - @caratochan - @novalpha - @dahliatopia - @0717luv - @shiveringgaze - @toruro - @mixling-blog - @minnie-mouser22 - @homerunhansol - @mirtaspace - @ti--red - @zzucculent - @woozarts - @rubyreduji - @mozellerra - @lllucere - @cheolzip - @jjjzzzz - @lissiesykes - @dearjeonwonwoo - @meowmeowminnie - @colored-confetti - @partiallyinfluencial - @speaknowlwt - @flwrshwa - @lilylikesthat - @aurorahongg - @whippedforjihoon - @todorokiskitten - @immabecreepin - @98-0603 - @peachhiz
★ MINGHAO TAGLIST; @haoxiaoba - @jeonride - @coffeestay - @hyvnae
In the height of his career as an idol, Xu Minghao filmed a certain piece of content where he was asked a normal question to which he responded with a slightly controversial answer.
"How many kids do you want in the future?"
"Oh, It's not me who'll give birth, so I can't be the one to decide."
It's a response that made waves on the Internet during the week the video was first posted—a reaction from both fans and casual netizens alike that Minghao definitely did not anticipate that he would receive when they packed up the set several months prior.
It's pretty much the logical answer, isn't it? Sure, he'd love to have kids someday, but the quantity isn't something he should decide on without his non-existent partner's input.
Minghao learns further down the road, when he finally meets and eventually gets together with you, that the number of children isn't the only thing that a couple should mutually agree on.
"I don't really want to have kids..."
You tell him this during a spontaneous date he deigned to take you out on. He just came back from a tour packed with a long list of stops and even if he should probably catch up on some sleep, he opted to have a picnic with you at the park because of how much he missed you.
Your cheeks are stuffed with a few bites of pie, thoughtfully chewing as you wait for Minghao's response to your sudden confession. If he didn't know you as well as he does, he wouldn't have sensed the waves of anxiety rolling off of you in waves—as if you're waiting for him to get mad at you for simply being honest.
Mingao heaves a quiet sigh before he pulls you into his chest—a tiny squeak caught in your throat after swallowing your food.
"Hey, that doesn't make me love you any less," he murmurs, pressing his lips on top of your head. "I know bearing children can be terrifying and painful, so I completely understand."
For a moment, your brow dips, a soft frown tugging at your lips. "I-It's not that I'm terrified... Okay, maybe a little. But—"
Minghao promptly silences your protests with a firm kiss on your lips—one that you find yourself easily melting into given the time and distance that's separated you until this moment. He smiles against your mouth, glad that you can be honest with him about things like this.
"No buts, if you don't want to have kids, that's alright," he murmurs before pulling away. "Maybe we can just get a dog. You're already close with Mingyu, aren't you?"
That makes you snicker. "You're so mean."
It's a brief exchange that Minghao doesn't really think about again for several years. After all, his career as an idol was at an all-time high. As much as he wants to settle down with you and start the next phase of his life, he's certain that he shouldn't step out of the limelight just yet.
But it doesn't take long for time to catch up with him.
One by one, his brothers are off to fulfill their mandatory service and the group's activities are at a momentary standstill. Those who were left behind go their separate ways for a while—Joshua expanding his solo promotions in the US and Jun taking up more brand sponsorships in China.
Minghao chose to stay in Seoul mostly for your sake, and the fact that this city is the only common ground between him and the rest of the boys. When Vernon and Seungkwan enlisted together, it was around the time that Seungcheol and Jeonghan came back with overgrown buzzcuts, while Joshua landed in Incheon for the first time in two years.
It was also the time when you and Minghao got married.
The event was celebrated among close friends and family with only a brief news article about the marriage of SEVENTEEN's The8 allowed by the company to circulate for a while. They did a good job at keeping things hush hush, and Minghao thinks it's only because it's been more than a decade since his debut that they're being so lenient.
But even if they weren't, nothing would stop Xu Minghao from making you his wife either way.
It takes a few more years for all thirteen of them to get back together again, but when they do, the first thing that Seungcheol does is invite everybody to his daughter's first birthday.
Minghao has met baby Suri a handful of times in the past. Seungcheol's wife visits them at the company from time to time, wheeling Suri's stroller into the practice room as her uncles all fawn over her until she's crying. For some reason, the only people the infant seems to tolerate are Jun and Seokmin.
It's pretty much the same scene during the party. Seokmin and Jun are the only ones allowed within a one-meter radius from Seungcheol's baby girl to prevent an incurable crying episode in the middle of the celebration. Soonyoung was not happy with the fact that he can't personally give Suri the little tiger plush he got for her, but Minghao thinks it's for the best.
But then, as everyone was finishing up with dinner, he saw you walk up to Seungcheol's wife with a familiar sparkle in your eyes. You're staring at Suri who's all dressed up for her party with a look of endearment—nearly gushing with how animatedly you're speaking with her mother.
Minghao doesn't think much of it. You and her have always gotten along for as long as he can remember.
What does catch him completely off-guard, however, is the fact that Suri is being handed into your arms and you let it all happen without much of a fuss.
Chan was in the middle of telling him about this martial arts move that he'd wanted to choreograph into a dance but as much as he wants to give the younger man advice, his gaze is completely glued to the sight of you with Suri in cradled against your chest.
It's one thing to see a woman holding a baby. It's another to see his wife do the same thing.
"Hao, look!" You quickly call him over when you catch his eyes in the crowd. "Suri thinks I'm worthy! It's been five minutes since her mom handed her over and she's still not crying."
The sight is so adorable that Minghao abruptly excuses himself from his conversation with Chan to rush towards you with clipped strides. His heart thunders inside his chest as you visibly dote on Seungcheol's daughter, and he isn't sure if he wants to give the feeling a name.
It eventually fades into a barely there throb in his chest when he drives back home for the evening. You quickly fill the silence with your attempts at looking at some properties in this newly opened residential area near the freeway and as always, your husband lends a willing ear.
"It's a little far from your company building, but it's much more spacious than our apartment right now," you chuckle, face alight with the glow of your screen as you scroll through the property's details on your phone.
Minghao hums before pulling over at a red light. "Hm? Isn't our place alright as it is? Why would we need the extra space?"
He half-expected you to answer with something along the lines of, so I can have more space to keep my book collection in or so you can have enough room to practice at home if you want to.
But all you do is let out an uneasy laugh, locking your phone before depositing it in the cupholder on the middle console.
"Y-Yeah, you're right. That was a bit silly of me."
The next time Minghao unwittingly makes the connection with you and the prospect of having kids is when Seungkwan's nephews are in Seoul for a couple of weeks.
While he and his sister are off to run errands every now and again, they typically ask Jun to watch over the kids because out of all the members, he's definitely the only one who can be trusted around children. Even more than those who are actual fathers.
But it just so happens that Jun is all the way in Shanghai to shoot for a historical drama, and for some reason, Seungkwan thought it would be a good idea to drop his nephews off at Minghao's doorstep.
"You're pretty decent with kids and your wife can take care of anything," Seungkwan praises while he ushers four year-old Hanjun into the room and eight month-old Jiren into your arms. "We'll be back for them after lunch!"
It's just as Seungkwan said though: Minghao is pretty decent with kids and you can take care of anything.
While waiting for lunch to cook in the kitchen, you both do your part in entertaining the children—Minghao pointing out different shapes and animals in the picture book from Hanjun's backpack while you quietly feed Jiren the baby formula that Seungkwan's sister prepared in advance.
So distracted with the sight of your soft gaze transfixed on the baby in your arms, Minghao barely notices it when the soup he's prepared starts to overflow from the pot. You scold him for being so distracted before he shuffles into the kitchen with his tail between his legs.
As he salvages what's left of the soup, Minghao tries to pull himself together. Sure, it's been a few years since you two tied the knot, but you made it clear years ago that children wasn't on the table when it comes to the two of you.
It's something that you both agreed on even before marriage, and Minghao isn't about to break your trust by saying he suddenly wants kids all because seeing them in your arms makes his brain short-circuit. He has more tact than that.
"Is it just me or are you acting a little weird?"
For some reason, you choose later that evening to corner him in the quiet of your bedroom. Minghao was just getting ready to sleep when you turned to face him with a frown.
"Weird how?" he wonders, praying that you wouldn't single him out like you probably will.
"I don't know, you were looking at me funny when I was giving Jiren his formula," you point out. "You only do that when you want something from me."
Your words make him sigh. Of course his wife would catch onto every nuance of his actions—even from his stare alone.
"And what do you think it is that I want?"
"Xu Minghao, we're already married. Cut the games and just tell me what's on your mind."
God, he really couldn't love you any more than he does now.
It takes several minutes, but you and your husband eventually migrate to the living room—cups of hot chocolate in hand as you patiently wait for Minghao to open up about something he's been keeping to himself for a while now.
He's rightfully nervous—hands clammy around the ceramic of the mug that matches yours. It's Game of Thrones-themed with a dragon's neck acting as a handle. You kept insisting at the souvenir shop that its selling point was the unique design, but Minghao was pretty sure you were excited by the fact that the printed text changes color depending on the drink's temperature.
With that memory suddenly drifting into his mind, the tension ebbs from his shoulders. Though he tends to forget, you're the last person who'll condemn him for what he's about to say to you.
"I've been thinking of starting a family with you," he admits—hitting his point straight to the roots. "But... I always brushed it aside because I know how you feel about kids. I don't want to force you into something you don't want."
It's in times like this where silence is more deafening than actual noise. It rings in Minghao's ears as you watch the steam rise from your mug and your husband lets himself stew in his anticipation, wondering how you'll choose to respond to his honesty.
Will you laugh at him? Will you be angry with him? It's a subject that the two of you rarely broach with each other, so he isn't quite sure how to handle whatever reaction you'll grace him with.
What Minghao never would've expected, however, is for you to crack him a relieved smile.
"Me? I thought you didn't want kids because having one would be detrimental to your career," you chuckle, taking the first few sips from your hot chocolate. "And you always kinda shrugged it off whenever I tried to ease the topic into the conversation."
"I did?" Your husband scowls. "When did I do that?"
"After Suri's birthday party? When I was showing you a couple of new houses?"
Oh. Oh.
"Shit," Minghao mutters, embarrassed. "I almost forgot about that. I'm sorry, love. It didn't occur to me because you said that you didn't want to have kids—"
"One time," you interject with a groan. "That was one time, Hao. God, can't a woman change her mind about wanting kids with her husband?"
He blinks. "But you said you'd be terrified."
"No, you said I'd be terrified. As an educated guess and to some extent, you're right. But it's not the having-a-kid part or the childbirth part that terrifies me, Hao." You let yourself breathe for a couple of seconds and it comes out shaky. Minghao has to resist the urge to reach out to embrace you.
"What terrifies me is becoming a mother."
The silence of the living room thickens when you say the words and Minghao feels his chest flutter with that same feeling from the first time he saw you cradling Seungcheol's daughter in your arms. Despite the questions swimming inside his head, your husband keeps his silence and lets you continue.
"Like, yeah, the pregnancy is going to be hell and god knows whether I'll even be alive after giving birth, but..." You hesitate, refusing to meet Minghao's eyes for reasons that elude him.
"Raising a child so they would grow up to become a good person is even more daunting to me... What if I accidentally teach them something wrong? What if they end up hating me because I can't keep up with whatever trends kids would come up with in a few years? What if they love you more than they love me?"
Minghao laughs airily. "Is that last part really a necessary measure?"
"It is," you insist before breathing out a laugh of your own. "Urgh, you get the point! It's just that... I'm not against having kids, but the responsibility that comes with raising one overwhelms me whenever I think about it."
"You know you're not in it alone, right? I'm your husband. Of course I'll be here to support you however I can," Minghao sighs before finishing the rest of his drink. "Whether you want kids or not, I'll go with either choice because I want what you want, yeah?"
"Yeah. I do know that. I think I've always known, but at the same time, I didn't want to tie you down," you murmur, tracing the handle of your mug with a small pout. "If we have a kid together, they might take up the time meant for your schedules. I never want to burden you like that..."
Your husband sets down his mug on the coffee table, carding his fingers through his hair with a disbelieving sigh. You were starting to fear that you might've annoyed him by accident, but when Minghao leans closer so that your eyes are leveled, you realize that is far from the case.
"Baby, our wedding rings are literally tattoos," he reminds you while reaching for your hand—pressing the inked fingers together. "I'm as tied down as I can be and you've never heard a peep out of me after all this time, yeah? So don't you ever think you or our future kids would be burdens to me."
Playfully, you raise an eyebrow at him. "Kids? Plural?"
"Hey, like I said—"
"Yeah, yeah, you want what I want," you interrupt with a roll of your eyes. "I get it Hao, you're a gentleman. But what if I told you I want you to fuck me on this couch right now and give me your kids?"
The wording is so crass that it could only be seen as a joke, except the reaction it incites from Minghao is leagues more intense than a mere joke would. The mental image injects a rush of corrosive want straight into his bloodstream and Minghao swears it makes him a little lightheaded.
Your husband lets out a shuddering sigh. quickly lunging after you to pluck the mug out of your grasp and safely place it on top of the coffee table. When you look up at him so prettily as he cages you on the couch, the sight makes his cock twitch with anticipation.
"Then I want that, too."
Logically speaking, you and Minghao can't just flip the switch and go into full babymaking mode after a heartfelt conversation and a bunch of impulsive decisions.
For one, you were still on birth control. It would take some time to wean yourself off it and you'd have to ask your doctor if it was safe to stop taking the pills at this point in your life.
Next was that Minghao and the rest of the guys are going to be preoccupied with their latest album—one where all thirteen men are back together after years of being separated. It'll go on for a couple of months and maybe a year if he's going to take their tour schedules into account.
And because he doesn't want to be absent in any milestone during your hypothesized child's life, you and your husband mutually decided not to actively try for a kid just yet.
But that doesn't mean you can't pretend.
"Fuck, baby, your cunt's gripping me so tight," Minghao groans, nearly hissing as he slides his cock against the velvety heat of your walls. "You want my load in you, pretty? You want to me to pump you full until it's dripping out of your pretty pussy?"
With coherence having long left your mind, you arch your back even higher as your husband continues to plough you into the mattress. "Y-Yes, yes yes! Hao, feels s-so fucking good!"
He chortles quietly and even with your cheek pressed against the sheets, you can still picture the smirk plastered on his face. "Pretty baby's in love with my cock. You just can't get enough of me, can you?"
"More," you whimper, the muscles of your pussy tightening around his length as he plunges in and out of your sopping entrance. "W-Want more, Hao. Need you to fuck me harder..."
Your husband is quick to comply with your wishes, gathering your hair with one hand while keeping your hips in place with the other. Minghao slams his hips brutally against yours, making stars dance in the seams of your vision as the head of his fat cock bullies its way into your leaking hole.
He's so deep, you can feel him prying your cervix open with a promise that you'll be filled to the brim if you behave tonight. And with all those years of being a professional dancer under his belt, it's no surprise that he's got enough stamina to wreck you more times than you can handle.
The first orgasm blindsides you completely. He'd just been whispering both sweet and filthy nothings into your ear when it washes over you like a tidal wave—inevitable, inescapable.
(Doing so fucking good for me, love. Taking my cock like a good, good wife. You'll take my cum just as well, won't you? Keep it inside so it'll take and you'll be swollen with my child. Then everybody will know you're mine.)
The second time it happens is mere seconds after Minghao's own orgasm. His thrusts have started to lose their practiced cadence and even if you've been in this situation countless times before, the euphoria that sings in your veins makes it feel like the first time all over again.
Minghao's cock twitches before his cum spurts in thick ropes inside your tight cunt—filling you with a warm sensation that has you biting down his neck to stifle your moans. The motion of his hips slows to a crawl as Minghao feels you clamp down on his length. Your pussy gushes around him with a delicious grip that brings him dangerously close to another orgasm with how good you feel around him.
"Fuck, baby," he swears, voice still hoarse with need despite the fact that he's fucking you into overflowing. "I love you. There's no one else I'd want to have a family with."
"T-There better not be," you say cheekily before Minghao is flipping you around so that you're lying on your back. The sensation of his cum dripping out of your ruined pussy makes your skin tingle with excitement, and the fact that his ravenous gaze is trained on your body isn't lost on you.
"Be a good wife for me and hold your thighs up," he whispers lowly and it takes you mere seconds to comply. "That's my girl."
You preen at his praise—no matter how pathetic it would make you seem. After all, if there's anyone who get reduced you into a cockdrunk mess, it's most certainly your husband.
Minghao doesn't waste any more time, he pumps his cock into full hardness for a few moments—refractory period be damned—before gliding the head of his cock against your slit. Your thighs twitch every time be brushes against your clit, making you cry out with desperation as he gloats at your misery.
"Minghao," you beg, trying your best to hold your thighs up just like he asked all while he's taking his sweet time admiring your pussy. "Fuck me more. Want you to fill me up even more."
"Needy little thing," he chuckles. "You want my kids that badly? If I fuck you too much, you might actually get pregnant, love."
"Don't care," you practically sob. "I want it. I want you. All of you—even your kids."
Fuck. He really, really fucking loves you.
Minghao needs little encouragement after that, gripping his cock tightly as he guides himself back inside you.
The new position makes it easier for your husband to pound into you—the weight of his thrusts pressing you into the bed with enough intensity to make the wooden enforcements of your bed groan from the effort he's exerting. He splits you open on his cock, spreading your folded thighs as far as he can as he drills inside of you with the promise of another load.
"So pretty and pliant for me," he whispers, pressing a soft kiss on your nose all while the squelch of your cunt with each pass of his cock echoes in the bedroom. "My perfect wife. You'll let me breed this pussy once all's said and done, won't you?"
You nod all too eagerly. "Yes, Hao! I'll let you use my pussy however you want. Just please make me come again!"
"So demanding," your husband sighs with a wicked smile as one of his hands trails between your legs. "Hold those thighs nice and open for me, love. You'll feel even better soon."
"W-Wait, I—"
Your protests quickly melt into a hiss of pleasure when Minghao applies ample pressure on your clit—lathering his fingers with your slick before tracing tight circles around the sensitive nub.
He knows you so well, been with you for so long, that Minghao already knows the ins and outs of your body. Your husband claims that making you come undone with his own fingers is a practiced art and that he'll never forget about it until the day he does.
So it's no surprise how quickly Minghao manages to make you unravel at the seams when he couples his intense thrusts with the added stimulus to your clit. You're creaming around his cock in no time—muffling your cries in the crook of your lover's neck as he fucks into you with the intention of filling you up even more.
"I love you," Minghao rasps as he tucks your head beneath his chin, pinpointing the height of his own pleasure. "I'll want no one else but you, baby. No one."
Shakily, through a haze of delirium, you manage to say, "I-I love you too, Hao. I'll always be yours as long as—f-fuck—you'll always be mine."
You twitch violently beneath the weight of Minghao's body and the sight of you so fucked dumb on his cock eventually pushes him over the edge. Your husband comes with a sharp breath, his white hot cum gushing into your pussy until it drips onto the sheets.
It's only when you've come down from that post-coital high that you realize Minghao is looking at you as if you hung up all the stars in the sky. You respond with a weak smack against his chest.
"Don't look at me like that," you grumble weakly. "I might think you're in love with me."
"Y/N, we're already married."
"I don't see how that's a problem."
As Minghao does the honors of cleaning you up after roughing you up all evening, you quickly realize that, really, there's no reason to be terrified at all.
Not when your husband will be by your side every step of the way.
⟢ end notes: i wrote this in a haze so if there are any technical writing errors, i implore you to just ignore them for my sake <3 happy birthday again to my soulmate, rj! i hope you enjoy your day to the fullest and i also hope you like this gift i wrote for you hehe ^\\\^ like hao to the reader, i'll always be w you every step of the way (i'm just a lil busy rn, so i hope you forgive me !!)