Girl Dad

My Favourite DPXDC Posts

Crack posts.

Kitten Danny

Haunted Doll

Free Hugs

Danny the Professional annoyance

Is it a Birdy or the Devil?

BatBlob

Streamer Danny ends up with cat meta powers

Scandal Family

Tim obsesses over the Nightingale family weirdness

Maddie and Walker fuck up the Joker

Batman wants to adopt the 'Villain' Phantom

Hal adopts Danny and throws him at YJ to channel his gremlin energy

Home Alone

Quacked Up

Danny and Sam cause chaos at gale with Wayne brood

Eldritch Danny on the moon

Grand Theft Batmobile

Bart's Uncle Danny

Older Danny

Send me a Friend

Danny adopts Kon - ends up being mistaken as Kryptonian God

Danny runs Meta humans anon in Gotham

Psychopomp Danny helps Ace hero as a ghost dog

Talia x Danny - Bellatrix Star

Talia x Danny, Talia ends up in the Infinite Realms

Talia x Danny, Talia donates her DNA to stabilise Ellie

Danny is a Mad Scientist, Lex keeps trying to hire him

PA Danny

Overly Competent Amity Parkers work for Wayne Enterprises

Batfam think Sam and Tucker are villains - Danny their civilian spouse

Danny raises Clark

Danny adopts the Talons

Danny gets adopted as a teen

Danny's ghost guardians send him to Flash

Danny is Tim's babysitter turned brother - Mockingbird au

Constantine Adopts Danny + blames Batman for child invasion

Alfred adopts the Phantom siblings

Dan is Danny's guardian. Ends up dating local Crime Lord.

Danny is part Martian

Outlaws find Danny digging himself out of his own grave

Billy + Danny get found out as teens

Lois gets the next big story

Danny + Dani get adopted by Flash

De-aged Danny

Phantom siblings with Dan as the oldest end up in Gotham.

Danny 'kidnaps' Jason as his Dad

Danny gets adopted by Speedforce + Gotham

Stalker, Photographer Danny

Danny steals YJ DNA - becomes their shared baby

Child Danny

Danny's ghost parents choose Diana to raise him

Reincarnated TimKon clone - breaks Jokers everything

Danny goes Rogue

Teen Villain Alliance 1 2

'No Consequences'

Danny is Catwoman's apprentice. And Damian's twin.

Danny is a catboy. Loses Cheetah - his adopted Mom

Danny is a baby Rogue

Amity Park Centric

Literal Ghost Town Amity Park - Angsty

Jason gets ghost adopted by Skulker

Amity Park Holidays

Amity Park distrust JL - Danny x Klarion

DC and DP are separate dimensions

Danny and Dani end up in DC. Have to steal ecto to get home

Danny, Sam and Tucker land on Kent's farm - get adopted

Jazz, Danny and Dani get summoned. Jazz takes out the threat

Danny and Dani get adopted by Dr Freeze

Tim adopts interdimensional de aged Danny

Kent's adopt de aged Danny and Dani. No one surprised.

Children of Gotham

Danny dates a hero

Eldritch Danny x Kon

Be Not Afraid - Constantine x Danny

Ice Core Danny - Constantine x Danny

No Trick only Treat

Dick x Danny - Danny has POTS

Danny x Bruce - Red X Danny

Danny x Bruce - People think Danny is Batman

Danny x Damian as Addams Family style couple

Tim x Everlasting Trio meet in Arkham

Danny is the child/clone of not Fenton parents

Constantine is Danny's third parent

Not Danny Centric

Dani is a Space Pirate

Dan x Constantine - Dan ends up working for JLD

Vlad x Lex - Fake Marriage for reasons

Vlad x Lex - Danny finds Kon and saves him

Jack Fenton x Waylon Jones 1 2

Jazz's Magical Matchmaking Mount

Dani the Amazon

Billy gets adopted by Box Ghost and Lunch Lady

Ember and Harley are sisters

Dani x Damian - Drunk Dani

The obligations of a rogue versus those of a parent

Dani is Queen of the Mirrorborn

Jazz x Bruce - Jazz is Klarion's Mom

Frostbite end up in Gotham

Dani kidnaps Jason during the Titans Tower Attack

Fright Knight adopts Danny and ends up dating Scarecrow

Fright Knight x Batman x Scarecrow

Uncle Scarecrow AU

Damian befriends teen Dad Danny. Adores Baby Ellie.

A Butler's Duty

Jack + Waylon are brothers No. Two

Tucker x Monica hack the JL

Fan Art

Fate guides you.

A/n: or alternatively, my personal sahsr lore based on my account wooooo

yes i should be writing the deathless part 3

4 months, it's been 4 months since the mysterious Aeon attached itself to Pollux, or as the Aeon called her, the Trailblazer.

4 months ago it felt like the universe suddenly shifted, when asked the Aeon of Erudition only answered one word, Fate. It sent the Genius society into a frenzy. Soon Herta- the real one, would use one of her puppets to relay this information to Asta, which eventually reached the ears of Himeko and the rest of the astral express crew.

"So... what you're saying is this... voice, Aeon, whatever it is that stays around Pollux might be connected to what Herta told Asta?" Welt repeated, looking towards Pollux as the discussion continued. If you asked him, he was mostly convinced of this possibility. Ever since Pollux joined them in their travels he had felt something hovering around her, not the stellaron in their body but a separate being, latching itself onto her- not that she minded it or anything.

"Yes, though it is just a theory for now." Himeko said, also looking at Pollux as she played on her phone,

"Well, the sudden shift we all felt happened right as we met Pollux.... like something woke up and decided to latch onto her, so it's not out of the realm of possibility." Dan Heng added, crossing his arms in thought.

Pollux jolted, pausing from her game before speaking, "The Voice is back." she stood up, grabbing her bat as she listened to the voice in her head. "I need to do something, The voice wants me to go somewhere."

As she left the rest of the Astral express crew continued to discuss, with March calling the voice The Aeon of fate, even joking that Pollux must be the first emanator of fate which became less of a joke and more of a fact the longer Pollux stayed with the express.

Soon after that discussion Himeko heard the voice in her head as well, feeling her strength grow as the weeks went by, often joining Pollux in her missions. mostly joined by miss Herta herself.

It became clear as time went on that the voice would bless and compel a myriad of people no matter what Aeon they followed or path they trekked especially when the Arbiter General joined, swiftly becoming the most powerful 'vessel' of the voice. When asked why he listened to the Aeon, he only said that it was foreseen by Lady Fu.

Many more joined, from the healer lady of the Loufu, the mysterious merchant carrying an even more mysterious coffin with him at all times. and even the fearsome Stellaron hunter who seeks death. All of them heeded the call of the mysterious Aeon.

Soon enough, the 'vessels' blessed by this mysterious Aeon made a name for themselves, making themselves known through word of mouth and the actions they displayed.

touch starved

the gnaeus/nikador time loop thing with them continuously going through it to try to set things right, only to fail, until ours and castorice's help comes along, is making me Think Things

imagine if amphoreus as a whole was just basically like that. we, the trailblazers, can finally bring them Out of the time loop their world is stuck in because with our appearance, we can actually help them

time loops within time loops, memories within memories basically,,, but we have the ability to rewrite the said memories and experience it with them to Save them

hehe here's this 2k brain rot that @suiana's post gave me (permission proof - not a thief!)

i turned caelus into a they them not sorry. also if the formatting is odd, i’m on my pc and i usually use my phone so.

They’re back.  Again.  

March has to stifle the screams of anger she wants to let out as the shackles of stillness finally free her.  Like ice melting Caelus and Dan Heng begin to move around, continuing where they had left them stranded and abandoned, left to stay stagnant at their whim. 

The worse thing is that she can’t even complain, not for lack of desire to do so, no, no she physically cannot voice her complaints.  And March knows she isn't crazy, she’s caught the twinge of annoyance in Welt’s eyes when he unpaused; seen the ghost of a scowl on Seele’s face; even the carefully controlled hardened gaze of Dan Heng has cracked before.

The Trailblazer is the only one who hasn’t cracked, obediently stopping when they will them to do so, and ever so happy to come back at their will.  March wants to corner them and ask how and why, if they know what's going on, but alas: she must trot along with her friends at their wicked will.

Dan Heng doesn't know what you are, because surely you can’t be an Aeon.  Aeons don’t hold the powers you do, even if they did surely there would be some record of you in the archives, right?  No Aeon dead or alive has the ability to puppeteer humans, and it frightens him that there is something out there that is using him in such a way.  It embitters him, both the unknown surrounding them and the way he is treated; how his whole world is put on a pause while he remains aware.  Aware of how the breeze stills and the stars stop twinkling, how the world goes silent.  What could hold such power? 

A shudder runs down his spine as he follows the Trailblazer’s party.

Welt has witnessed a lot in his time.  Nothing quite like them, though.

Himeko has witnessed a lot in her time.  Nothing quite like them, though.

Bronya, Seele, Sampo, and Natasha have witnessed a lot in their time.  Nothing quite like them, though.

Yukong, Loucha, Fu Xuan, and Jing Yuan have witnessed a lot in their time.  Nothing quite like them, though.

Kafka, Blade, and Silver Wolf have witnessed a lot in their time.  Nothing quite like them, though.

The different paths they all walk may intervene, as their personalities and beliefs may differ but there is one truth they can all agree on.

They hate you.

Caelus doesn’t.  Rather, Caelus can’t help but love you; you gave them life and led them through their trials.  You keep them safe and armored. You help them find the words to face others when their mind goes blank. 

To Caelus you are the world.

The Aeons came to know of you when Dan Heng’s frantic searches focused on them for a little too long.  While he was scanning the records they saw you.  You were intriguing from the get go, a pretty thing, sitting comfortably as a figure in the sky. The Preservation and The Nihility, whose current forms allow for more ease with floating went as far as they could to reach you.

Yet you remain just out of reach of the Aeons.

The Abundance uses one of her many arms to steady herself as she crawls along the very fabrics of their reality to get a closer look at you.  And what a darling thing you are!  Excitement that she hasn’t felt in a long, long time, perhaps for the first time ever fills her up inside.  With a shaky hand, she motions for the other Aeons to take a closer look at you.

From there the… shall we say, worship, began.

Nanook, The Destruction, takes note of your fondness for certain characters, and what his darling likes, he likes, so when the Antimatter Legion he has blessed come across the ones you are fond of, their attacks are lighter and they lose his blessing temporarily.  Sure, he wished some of the gushing from beyond the sky was for him, but you so rarely see his face on the screen (only ever in the Simulated Universe you put that Caelus through) he can’t blame you.

IX, The Nihility, will not change in their ways, not even someone like you can shift the nihilism they embody, but, perhaps you don’t notice it, your teams deal better damage over time, don’t they?  Don’t take their blessings lightly, it took a lot to bring them there.

Yaoshi, perhaps makes it the most obvious (despite you never noticing), your favorite vessels get a wonderfully boosted health bar.  You never knew to question how Blade managed to get nine thousand hit points.

It’s hard to pinpoint who thought of it first, perhaps IX or Fuli, but the Aeons, the strongest Aeons, gathered to pull you down from beyond the sky.  Through a (top secret) ritual you find yourself being hurtled down like a meteor into the freezing snow of the Outlying Snow Plains. 

…

You wake to the kind face of Caelus, which is a bit odd because he’s not supposed to be so… high res.  Or real.

“Are you alright, My Lord?”  The title doesn’t immediately resonate with you, so you disregard hearing it.  When you don’t answer right away they frown in worry, hands moving to yours, gently covering them with their warmth.

“What happened?  Why am I here?”

“You fell from the sky, do you not remember?”

“No,” what sky would you have fallen from?  You tend to stay on the ground.

Caelus worries their bottom lip and helps you sit up.  “Oh.”  There’s a pause.  “Did you not mean to come here? I thought….”

“Hm?” You prod, gently encouraging them to talk.

“I thought you were coming to see me,” their face is tinged pink and facing down in their lap.  Caelus’ hands feel hot and you rush to reassure them.

“I’m glad to see you, but I don’t know how or why I’m here,” you pause, cringing internally.  “Caelus.”  Fuck, that is their name right?  No last minute changes?

Luckily their face lights up when you say it and you find yourself pressed into their soft chest, their arms around you in a bear hug. 

“You’re really them.”  A breathy, ecstatic phrase.  Their face buries into your hair and Caelus doesn’t loosen their hold until a knock at their door.

“Trailblazer!  Pompom here, requesting an update on Their Grace’s status.”  

Caelus gently detaches themself from you and opens the door to reveal the tiny rabbit-oid conductor.  Pompom bashfully rubs their hands together when they catch sight of you awake and looking at them.

“Hello, Your Grace, Pompom is glad to see you awake and healthy.”  

What a cute creature, you think.  “Thank you, Conductor Pompom.”

They let out a squeak at your words and nod.  “Pompom needs to go check in on the other passengers, but let Pompom know if you need anything, okay, Your Grace?”

“Oh, thank you Pompom.”  They hurry away, stubby feet padding quickly down the carpeted halls.  You turn your head to Caelus, “what was that about?”

“Hm?”  Their golden eyes meet yours, head tilting.

“Why did they call me those things, Your Grace?”  

“Because you are our God above Aeons.  Do you… were you somehow unaware of that?”

The words hit you like a freight train.  “No, I’m not.”  It’s all you can think to say.

Caelus sits next to you on the bed, placing a hand on your knee.  “Yes you are.  We can feel it.  You are the one that controls this world and gives us life.”

Controls this world… and gives them life… fuck, the game… you’ve been playing these sentient beings.  Your tummy hurts at the knowledge . 

“Oh, I’m— I’m sorry.”  Your eyes prick with tears, the gravity of what you’ve been doing; how you’ve dragged these people into battles for fun.  You couldn’t have know, but it doesn’t stop the guilt eating at you.

“No, no, what are you apologizing for?”  Caelus’ hands cup your face, a finger catching the tears that drip over the brim of your waterline.  Their voice drops to a whisper, “please don’t cry, My Lord.”

You suddenly feel very watched, like a million eyes are on you.  Caelus never closed his door.  You look up and catch sight of March 7th’s glare.  The intensity of it makes you flinch back, making Caelus look up, over to:

“March, don’t give them that look.”  They scold the girl, who turns the withering look to them.

“Why are you taking care of that monster?  We told you to leave them to freeze in the snow.”  The words make your heart sink.  Being on this side of such venomous words stings, especially from someone you never would have pegged to be so hateful.

Caelus bares thier teeth, a mix of offense and hurt on their face.  “And I told you I would do no such thing to our God.”

“That is no God.”  Her voice shakes as does her head, before turning around and walking away.

“Don’t listen to her.” Caelus shakes their head in disappointment. “She doesn’t understand what all you do for us.  Please don’t hold it against her.”

…

They, the Astral Express, do not like you.  Caelus and Pompom do, they hold you in reverence, which is better than how March, Himeko, Welt, and Dan Heng treat you.  It’s all dirty looks and only partially veiled insults.  Caelus gets into arguments with them over you.  

You hate to think that you’re harming the friendships between them, and when you brought your concern up, Caelus dismissed you saying you are worth it all.  

Yeah, there’s that.  You’ve tried to explain that you are not God, but they won’t hear you out.  :(

It’s a perfectly normal day on the Astral Express when the Aeons come. 

Nanook is the first one to descend into the Parlor Car; Caelus and Dan Heng immediately drawing their weapons, The Destruction laughs once, eyes moving to focus solely on you.

“It’s so good to see you, My darling Lord.”  His voice is low and deep, and the gold flowing freely from the wounds (?) on his arms leaves a trail on the carpet as he approaches to kneel in front of you.  From your peripheral you see Dan Heng and Caelus share a look before lowering their respective weapons.

Nanook, you recognize him from the Simulated Universe blessings screen, grabs your hand, gracing the back of your palm with a chaste kiss.  His golden eyes peek up at you from behind long lashes.

“How has the Express been treating you?  I regret not being able to welcome you to this existence, but alas the ritual took a lot out of us…”

What.

“Oh, uh,” your eyes flicker around the cabin nervously.  “I’m doing alright, th-thanks…”

“Now, now, don’t tease the poor thing,” a beautiful woman (Aeon) walks in, one with many, many arms draped in soft looking, white cloth.  Yaoshi’s eyes soften when she meets your gaze.  “Hello, Your Grace, it’s an honor to meet you in the flesh.”

Caelus, Dan Heng, March, everyones’ (save for you and the two Aeons) bodies droop, posture faltering.  IX, The Nihility, has arrived.  An odd feeling, akin to that of a weighted blanket, is pushed onto your body.  It’s them, their astral, cosmic form much smaller than what should be made of their status, laying on your body like a boa.  They don’t speak, though you aren’t  sure they could in this form.

Yaoshi’s eyes flicker with amusement, and Nanook pulls himself up.  “The others were unable to make it, but,” her gaze chills and is directed at the crew of the Express.  “We all wish to make it known that disrespect, anything short of reverence toward Our Grace, will not be tolerated.”

Welt visibly shudders at the threat, and Himeko shares a look with Dan Heng.  They need to reflect on how they feel towards you, tha much is certain.

Dont mess with our daughter

Wrath of the Fentons

Jason Todd had seen a lot of weird things in Gotham. Lazarus pits, immortal assassins, fear gas-induced nightmares—hell, he'd been one of the weird things, once upon a time. But watching a bunch of black-market meta traffickers haul a very pissed-off redhead into an unmarked van in broad daylight was quickly climbing the ranks of what the fuck moments.

She wasn't screaming. That was the first sign that something was wrong. Most metas—or normal people—would be terrified. Instead, this girl looked annoyed.

Jason had been tracking this particular ring for weeks. They specialized in kidnapping metas with "unique features"—horns, glowing eyes, animal traits, things that marked them as different. The bastards made a killing selling them off to the highest bidder.

The girl—Jazz, he caught one of the thugs saying—fit their usual type. Her hands, bound behind her, had faint green veins pulsing under her skin, as if something otherworldly coursed through her. Her eyes flickered a ghostly green before settling back into a sharp, human blue.

Jason knew that look. It was the look someone got when they were waiting.

For what? Backup? Did she have a tracker? A hidden weapon?

He was about to interfere when Jazz sighed dramatically and muttered, "You poor, poor idiots."

Jason didn't have time to wonder what she meant before his comms flared to life with a frantic Oracle.

"Red Hood, stand down—I repeat, do not engage—the girl's parents are en route, and—holy shit—these guys have no idea what they just did."

Jason frowned. "Parents? Who—"

And then he saw the tank.

It barreled down the street, mounted with weapons that absolutely should not be street legal, glowing green with ominous energy. The side of the vehicle had a logo painted in jagged white letters:

FENTON WORKS

The doors flew open, and a massive man in an orange jumpsuit leaped out, wielding what could only be described as an anti-aircraft cannon converted into a rifle. His wife followed, a visor covering her eyes, her sleek blue bodysuit glowing with strange symbols.

"JAZZ!" the man bellowed, aiming the cannon at the traffickers as if they were just another ghost to blast into oblivion.

"Hey, Dad!" Jazz called, still completely unbothered as one of the thugs tried to hold a knife to her throat. "You might want to be careful. They think I'm a meta."

"Oh, honey," her mom said, pulling out a gun that looked like it belonged in a sci-fi horror movie. "They won't be thinking anything in a few minutes."

Jason took a slow step back.

He'd seen Bruce handle hostage situations with surgical precision. He'd seen Dick talk down armed criminals with nothing but charm and a smile.

He had never seen two civilians go full scorched earth on a meta trafficking ring without so much as a plan beyond "rescue daughter, destroy everything."

The traffickers barely had time to react before green energy blasts tore through their van, their weapons, and the street around them. The sheer destructive enthusiasm was a sight to behold.

One thug made the mistake of aiming a gun at Maddie Fenton. She shot him with a glowing net that phased through his skin before electrifying him into unconsciousness. Another tried to run—Jack Fenton threw what looked like a modified bear trap, which snapped shut around the guy’s legs and dragged him back, screaming.

Jazz, still tied up, sighed as one guy tried to use her as a human shield. "You do realize that you're standing between me and them, right?"

The thug barely had time to consider his life choices before Maddie calmly shot him in the leg.

Jason, crouched on a nearby rooftop, slowly exhaled.

Well. The ring was definitely out of commission.

As the Fentons loaded the unconscious criminals into their highly illegal ghost-proof containment units, Jazz finally noticed Jason watching. She arched a brow.

"Hey, Red Hood, right?"

Jason, still processing, just nodded.

Jazz smirked. "You look like you're having a what the fuck moment."

Jason stared at the still-smoking wreckage of what used to be a human trafficking operation and then at the grinning, trigger-happy Fenton parents.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, that about sums it up."

He broke through to the surface, taking large desperate gasps of air before getting sucked back beneath by the current. Danny fought against the water as hard as his little paws would allow.

Just when he felt all hope was lost and he was sinking, a large hand enveloped his entire body and hefted him back into the open air. Shivering and coughing out water he didn't catch whatever the man had said. He continued shivering violently as the guy wrung out Dannys fur.

The mans hands were warm despite the brown leather gloves covering them. They made Danny feel comforted and energized almost as if the man had...oh gods! He did! The man had ecto inside of him! Thank the ancients! Now he just had to stick with glove guy and he could recharge! It would be slow but still!

"Here we are little guy." The man said and Danny noticed all at once that the man had been walking the whole time Danny had been stuck in his head. He looked around and noticed the Animal Shelter sign in front of them.

No. No! Danny needed to stick to this guy if he ever hoped to become a human again. But despite how he dug his claws into the flesh of the mans exposed arm and yowled the man in the red mask managed to get him lose and left him in the care of an animal social worker.

Danny was checked out and placed in the tiny jail cell alongside other kittens and cats, many who were scared, miserable or just desperate for love and attention. This of course meant he needed to plot a jail break. Fortunately, he could still used most of his powers but without any ecto around he would have no way to recharge them outside of food or indulging in his obsession.

Needless to say Jason was a little startled when he woke up the next day to not one, but five little kittens meowing at him for food. He swears the one sitting smugly on his chest is the same one he dropped off at the animal shelter yesterday, but that couldn't be right...

One call confirmed it. All of thier animals had escaped last night and there was a suspiciously animal sized arch taken out of the wall with an unknown tool. Demon brat would be delighted at the news.

Unfortunately for Hood the smug little black cat he rescued yesterday had decided that his shoulder was the perfect perch and stayed there more often than not. Little guy got into food often but refused to eat kibble and any attempt to get the kitten away from the mashed potatoes resulted in violence or density shifting to get back to the food.

At this point danny almost didn't care if he returned to being human so long as he got to eat more of his humans cooking. He swears Jason is magical because everything he makes tastes amazing

Sakumo being a super popular borderline sex symbol in his era will never stop being my favorite hc, I need to see more of it

All the people his age and younger had a crush on him. It was just a Thing(tm) where 9 times out of 10, a Konoha shinobi's first crush was probably Sakumo. Even other villages young shinobi hung up his bingo book picture above their bunk and dreamed of both killing him, being killed by him (in a hot way), having a battlefield fling with him, and more. There was blackmarket fanfiction. He was incredibly popular among civilians all over fire country. Some popular romance novels had love interests very blatantly based off him.

Even before they were on a team together, Obito and Rin both had a silly kid crush on Kakashi's dad (Obito more than Rin) and he was aware of it. This did not help make him like them any more. (By the time hearing smthn positive ab his dad would have made Kakashi softer, they'd both gotten better at hiding the crush, so to Kakashi it looked like they'd gotten over Sakumo.) Even Minato had a bit of a thing for him, not really but like— strong, popular, feard and very friendly ninja who is now paying him some attention (bc hes his kids teacher) he's not immune. Kushina understands, she is also not immune. (Kakashi is going to throw a fucking fit)

Even after his failed mission, when his reputation crashes and burns within the village, he still can't completely shake his admirers— they possibly just get more disrespectful ab the attraction when it mixes with the hate. (Which tbh could make for an interesting discussion all on its own)

Kakashi is haunted by his father's insane popularity for decades after his death. He does his very best to ignore the lingering evidence of people being insane ab his father.

One day he realizes one of his favorite romance novels has a romance interest based off Sakumo and has a break down ab it and can never read the series again.

When raiding an old abandoned enemy camp w Team Ro, he finds an old, autographed photo of his dad covered in lipstick marks in the communal bathroom. He chooses to ignore it but it's quickly spotted by his teammates, who do not know who Sakumk is, and v quickly begin to remark on the poster, who this mysterious Konoha nin is, and ahaha damn he is kinda good looking, huh? (Kakashi wants to DIE)

Shisui ends up taking the poster back to Konoha with them and hangs it up in the ANBU communal quarters where it is VERY quickly recognized. And also some of the people in that room recognize it so quick bc they also used to own a similar poster. (Kakashi wants to DIE someone PLEASE kill him now)

Its only when he's given team 7 that he finally thinks he's escaped the legacy of his father as Konoha's Most Sexiest Shinobi. Only for Naruto, when being trained by Jiriyah, to find his drafts for Icha Icha very clearly inspired by his dad. Which he can never publish for multiple reasons (lingering respect for Sakumo. Also for Kakashi, who is his biggest fan and would probably never look at him again.)

Naruto somehow accidentally brings this up with Kakashi who like. Has war flashbacks and immediatley stands up and walks away as Jiryah scrambles to try to explain himself and Tsunade looks on in scorn (she will approach him later to carefully ask for the drafts while trying to seem like she's not really asking for them bc she's too proud to admit it)

Naruto and Sakura discover Kakashi-sensei's dad was a sex symbol. I don't even know how they'd react but like. Oh my god. Oh my god you guys.

Funniest option would be they accidentally revive his popularity a little bit by being so loud ab it they like, remind people ab him. + introduce another generation to the idea of him

Kakashi is crouched on the floor with his face in his hands. When will he be freed from this hell.

Sasuke does not escape tho, he goes to sound and finds a picture of Sensei's dad in Orochimaru's office (???????)

This is such a shitty sketch but the vision:

Itachi, who learned who Sakumo was from that poster thing, goes on to find a photo of him in ""Madara's"" belongings and gets super weirded out but ultimately doesn't. Super care. But also. Like. What. What.

After Itachi finds the photo, which Obito genuinley forgot he fucking had and keeps in part just bc its like one of the only belongings that remained from his Konoha days, he shoves it somewhere in Kamui to forget about.

But then in the Obito vs Kakashi Kamui fight, it fucking flutters down in the middle of the fight and Obito fucking dies of humiliation as Kakashi realizes he will truly Never Escape and that this reality is his own personal hell

Uhh endgame Kakashi becomes Hokage and accidentally retreads his father's path in becoming the new Konoha Sexy Man. Which simultaneously crushes him (he will never escape) and fills him with delight (he will now be able to impart the pain of having your father figure be lusted after by all ur friends and acquaintances onto his students)

[Lovechild AU]

Kids feat. Zenku Soukoku