Jason Todd had seen a lot of weird things in Gotham. Lazarus pits, immortal assassins, fear gas-induced nightmares—hell, he'd been one of the weird things, once upon a time. But watching a bunch of black-market meta traffickers haul a very pissed-off redhead into an unmarked van in broad daylight was quickly climbing the ranks of what the fuck moments.
She wasn't screaming. That was the first sign that something was wrong. Most metas—or normal people—would be terrified. Instead, this girl looked annoyed.
Jason had been tracking this particular ring for weeks. They specialized in kidnapping metas with "unique features"—horns, glowing eyes, animal traits, things that marked them as different. The bastards made a killing selling them off to the highest bidder.
The girl—Jazz, he caught one of the thugs saying—fit their usual type. Her hands, bound behind her, had faint green veins pulsing under her skin, as if something otherworldly coursed through her. Her eyes flickered a ghostly green before settling back into a sharp, human blue.
Jason knew that look. It was the look someone got when they were waiting.
For what? Backup? Did she have a tracker? A hidden weapon?
He was about to interfere when Jazz sighed dramatically and muttered, "You poor, poor idiots."
Jason didn't have time to wonder what she meant before his comms flared to life with a frantic Oracle.
"Red Hood, stand down—I repeat, do not engage—the girl's parents are en route, and—holy shit—these guys have no idea what they just did."
Jason frowned. "Parents? Who—"
And then he saw the tank.
It barreled down the street, mounted with weapons that absolutely should not be street legal, glowing green with ominous energy. The side of the vehicle had a logo painted in jagged white letters:
FENTON WORKS
The doors flew open, and a massive man in an orange jumpsuit leaped out, wielding what could only be described as an anti-aircraft cannon converted into a rifle. His wife followed, a visor covering her eyes, her sleek blue bodysuit glowing with strange symbols.
"JAZZ!" the man bellowed, aiming the cannon at the traffickers as if they were just another ghost to blast into oblivion.
"Hey, Dad!" Jazz called, still completely unbothered as one of the thugs tried to hold a knife to her throat. "You might want to be careful. They think I'm a meta."
"Oh, honey," her mom said, pulling out a gun that looked like it belonged in a sci-fi horror movie. "They won't be thinking anything in a few minutes."
Jason took a slow step back.
He'd seen Bruce handle hostage situations with surgical precision. He'd seen Dick talk down armed criminals with nothing but charm and a smile.
He had never seen two civilians go full scorched earth on a meta trafficking ring without so much as a plan beyond "rescue daughter, destroy everything."
The traffickers barely had time to react before green energy blasts tore through their van, their weapons, and the street around them. The sheer destructive enthusiasm was a sight to behold.
One thug made the mistake of aiming a gun at Maddie Fenton. She shot him with a glowing net that phased through his skin before electrifying him into unconsciousness. Another tried to run—Jack Fenton threw what looked like a modified bear trap, which snapped shut around the guy’s legs and dragged him back, screaming.
Jazz, still tied up, sighed as one guy tried to use her as a human shield. "You do realize that you're standing between me and them, right?"
The thug barely had time to consider his life choices before Maddie calmly shot him in the leg.
Jason, crouched on a nearby rooftop, slowly exhaled.
Well. The ring was definitely out of commission.
As the Fentons loaded the unconscious criminals into their highly illegal ghost-proof containment units, Jazz finally noticed Jason watching. She arched a brow.
"Hey, Red Hood, right?"
Jason, still processing, just nodded.
Jazz smirked. "You look like you're having a what the fuck moment."
Jason stared at the still-smoking wreckage of what used to be a human trafficking operation and then at the grinning, trigger-happy Fenton parents.
"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, that about sums it up."
He broke through to the surface, taking large desperate gasps of air before getting sucked back beneath by the current. Danny fought against the water as hard as his little paws would allow.
Just when he felt all hope was lost and he was sinking, a large hand enveloped his entire body and hefted him back into the open air. Shivering and coughing out water he didn't catch whatever the man had said. He continued shivering violently as the guy wrung out Dannys fur.
The mans hands were warm despite the brown leather gloves covering them. They made Danny feel comforted and energized almost as if the man had...oh gods! He did! The man had ecto inside of him! Thank the ancients! Now he just had to stick with glove guy and he could recharge! It would be slow but still!
"Here we are little guy." The man said and Danny noticed all at once that the man had been walking the whole time Danny had been stuck in his head. He looked around and noticed the Animal Shelter sign in front of them.
No. No! Danny needed to stick to this guy if he ever hoped to become a human again. But despite how he dug his claws into the flesh of the mans exposed arm and yowled the man in the red mask managed to get him lose and left him in the care of an animal social worker.
Danny was checked out and placed in the tiny jail cell alongside other kittens and cats, many who were scared, miserable or just desperate for love and attention. This of course meant he needed to plot a jail break. Fortunately, he could still used most of his powers but without any ecto around he would have no way to recharge them outside of food or indulging in his obsession.
Needless to say Jason was a little startled when he woke up the next day to not one, but five little kittens meowing at him for food. He swears the one sitting smugly on his chest is the same one he dropped off at the animal shelter yesterday, but that couldn't be right...
One call confirmed it. All of thier animals had escaped last night and there was a suspiciously animal sized arch taken out of the wall with an unknown tool. Demon brat would be delighted at the news.
Unfortunately for Hood the smug little black cat he rescued yesterday had decided that his shoulder was the perfect perch and stayed there more often than not. Little guy got into food often but refused to eat kibble and any attempt to get the kitten away from the mashed potatoes resulted in violence or density shifting to get back to the food.
At this point danny almost didn't care if he returned to being human so long as he got to eat more of his humans cooking. He swears Jason is magical because everything he makes tastes amazing
do you guys think they have the equivalent of the 'this is sparta' meme in amphoreus
like, mydei just screams "THIS IS CASTRUM KREMNOS" as he kicks phainon down a flight of stairs
screwubbaboo
the gnaeus/nikador time loop thing with them continuously going through it to try to set things right, only to fail, until ours and castorice's help comes along, is making me Think Things
imagine if amphoreus as a whole was just basically like that. we, the trailblazers, can finally bring them Out of the time loop their world is stuck in because with our appearance, we can actually help them
time loops within time loops, memories within memories basically,,, but we have the ability to rewrite the said memories and experience it with them to Save them
Argenti who believes you (player) are Idrila… the being who’d saved him countless of times, the one who protects him in times of peril. The reason he only meets you in near death situation is due to how the universe works, determined to only let you meet those who adore you once they’re at their weakest and need your help to return to their true form. Every time a new soul comes to you, arriving at the Express’ doors, you welcome them and work tirelessly to give them strength unattainable through other means.
Albeit not knowing how you truly look like, he can see your silhouette in his mind’s eye. He knows the broad brush strokes that compose your face, even your eye color and hair texture immortalized in his memory. He knows deep down that there will never be any being that can rival the beauty of his Lord.
Argenti, who once finally home with you, can finally rest easy knowing that you are with him – watching over him and giving him strength in your own way. However, he still cannot touch you, he hasn’t been able to clearly see your face yet. His journey isn’t done, now he must find a way to bring you to him so he can spread the word of your arrival and power while adoring you in his arms.
i wonder what it is
Crack posts.
Kitten Danny
Haunted Doll
Free Hugs
Danny the Professional annoyance
Is it a Birdy or the Devil?
BatBlob
Streamer Danny ends up with cat meta powers
Scandal Family
Tim obsesses over the Nightingale family weirdness
Maddie and Walker fuck up the Joker
Batman wants to adopt the 'Villain' Phantom
Hal adopts Danny and throws him at YJ to channel his gremlin energy
Home Alone
Quacked Up
Danny and Sam cause chaos at gale with Wayne brood
Eldritch Danny on the moon
Grand Theft Batmobile
Bart's Uncle Danny
Older Danny
Send me a Friend
Danny adopts Kon - ends up being mistaken as Kryptonian God
Danny runs Meta humans anon in Gotham
Psychopomp Danny helps Ace hero as a ghost dog
Talia x Danny - Bellatrix Star
Talia x Danny, Talia ends up in the Infinite Realms
Talia x Danny, Talia donates her DNA to stabilise Ellie
Danny is a Mad Scientist, Lex keeps trying to hire him
PA Danny
Overly Competent Amity Parkers work for Wayne Enterprises
Batfam think Sam and Tucker are villains - Danny their civilian spouse
Danny raises Clark
Danny adopts the Talons
Danny gets adopted as a teen
Danny's ghost guardians send him to Flash
Danny is Tim's babysitter turned brother - Mockingbird au
Constantine Adopts Danny + blames Batman for child invasion
Alfred adopts the Phantom siblings
Dan is Danny's guardian. Ends up dating local Crime Lord.
Danny is part Martian
Outlaws find Danny digging himself out of his own grave
Billy + Danny get found out as teens
Lois gets the next big story
Danny + Dani get adopted by Flash
De-aged Danny
Phantom siblings with Dan as the oldest end up in Gotham.
Danny 'kidnaps' Jason as his Dad
Danny gets adopted by Speedforce + Gotham
Stalker, Photographer Danny
Danny steals YJ DNA - becomes their shared baby
Child Danny
Danny's ghost parents choose Diana to raise him
Reincarnated TimKon clone - breaks Jokers everything
Danny goes Rogue
Teen Villain Alliance 1 2
'No Consequences'
Danny is Catwoman's apprentice. And Damian's twin.
Danny is a catboy. Loses Cheetah - his adopted Mom
Danny is a baby Rogue
Amity Park Centric
Literal Ghost Town Amity Park - Angsty
Jason gets ghost adopted by Skulker
Amity Park Holidays
Amity Park distrust JL - Danny x Klarion
DC and DP are separate dimensions
Danny and Dani end up in DC. Have to steal ecto to get home
Danny, Sam and Tucker land on Kent's farm - get adopted
Jazz, Danny and Dani get summoned. Jazz takes out the threat
Danny and Dani get adopted by Dr Freeze
Tim adopts interdimensional de aged Danny
Kent's adopt de aged Danny and Dani. No one surprised.
Children of Gotham
Danny dates a hero
Eldritch Danny x Kon
Be Not Afraid - Constantine x Danny
Ice Core Danny - Constantine x Danny
No Trick only Treat
Dick x Danny - Danny has POTS
Danny x Bruce - Red X Danny
Danny x Bruce - People think Danny is Batman
Danny x Damian as Addams Family style couple
Tim x Everlasting Trio meet in Arkham
Danny is the child/clone of not Fenton parents
Constantine is Danny's third parent
Not Danny Centric
Dani is a Space Pirate
Dan x Constantine - Dan ends up working for JLD
Vlad x Lex - Fake Marriage for reasons
Vlad x Lex - Danny finds Kon and saves him
Jack Fenton x Waylon Jones 1 2
Jazz's Magical Matchmaking Mount
Dani the Amazon
Billy gets adopted by Box Ghost and Lunch Lady
Ember and Harley are sisters
Dani x Damian - Drunk Dani
Dani is Queen of the Mirrorborn
Jazz x Bruce - Jazz is Klarion's Mom
Frostbite end up in Gotham
Dani kidnaps Jason during the Titans Tower Attack
Fright Knight adopts Danny and ends up dating Scarecrow
Fright Knight x Batman x Scarecrow
Uncle Scarecrow AU
Damian befriends teen Dad Danny. Adores Baby Ellie.
A Butler's Duty
Jack + Waylon are brothers No. Two
Tucker x Monica hack the JL
Fan Art
I've been requested to make a masterpost, and I see now that I need it, as I've written quite a lot.
Separated into 2 categories stories and one-shots.
I'll mark the monsterfucker categories in pink.
Speedrunning Romance 1
Dumpster Baby 1, 2, 3
DEMON TWINS, BUT DANYAL NEVER REVIVED
Fashion Summon Ratatouille
Greatest Treasure
Contingencies
Idk if this counts but: Massage Therapist Danny
Hotdog Hunter
Jason's a 10 while his boyfriend looks mid
The Thrift Shop
To cover up the happenings of amity park, Danny comes up with a GENIUS idea (shut up Sam).
The small videos and pictures of him and the ghosts that managed to escape their city were dangerous if a hero were to look into their business.
With Tucker and Sam, they created a 'behind the scenes'.
(The video starts with Phantom. He's chasing something– someone, building's sweep past as the two duke it out midair.
That is, until someone yells.
"CUT!"
The background is taken away, leaving behind a green screen. Phantom and the ghost, now recognised as Ember Mclain, hang midair, dangling.
The camera zooms in on Phantom, as he slips off his white wig and scratches his scalp.
"Danny! Stop taking off the wig!" Someone yells off screen, to which Damny rolls his eyes to, screaming back a "but it's scratchy!".
The video stops there.)
They did NOT expect the amount of views this would get.
[chapter 630+ spoilers]
its so funny to me that although ludger could have easily and efficiently wiped his enemies with the power of [the goddess who loves humans very much], instead, he chose to flex his power and completely obliterate them in the most petty way possible. he killed:
the lightning wizard of color with lightning
the fire wizard of color with fire
the entire holy army with holy power
the almost equivalent of the pope with the same god that he worships
you cant even call this massacre a poetic vengeance because he clearly didnt even see them as a worthy enemy but more of a swarm of annoying pests that need extermination.
ironically, ludger was created to become a vessal of a god, yet not only he rejected this divinity but also became the exact opposite of one — the manifestation of pettiness, a trait that is unmistakably very human.