2023 Recap!!!

oh I didn't realize you used to be a huge piece of shit

now this may surprise some of the audience, but the majority of humans have to survive a phase called "being a teenager" and the results are often catastrophic

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be a stressed adult male protagonist splashing water on his face in the bathroom

One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.

The thing is, what's happening in Palestine is extremely triggering to me. I was 8 years old when the U.S. invaded iraq in 2003. I was on the other side of the world as the death of my people in mass was paraded as a political tactic, was normalized and made mundane. My whole world fell apart. Nothing was the same. And even 20 years later, it affects every aspect of my life. In a lot of ways, my life will never not be ruled by the ghost of the war that haunted my very existence. And now, and now I'm watching in real time as that same propaganda, that same zeal for the death of Palestinians sweep up an entire nation, all dressed up in rhetoric of humanity, of stopping terrorism, of "has a right to defend itself". And the places and the people I once considered safe bare their teeth and snarl at any dissent, any objection. They look at you with suspicion. Will you condemn the terror? What a brutal reminder of my conditional citizenship to this country, my conditional belonging to this community. A brutal reminder that I will only ever truly be accepted, if I am palatable

Watching tlou after fucking up a job interview makes me feel better

A lot of sentiments I see online about "just standing up for yourself" fall apart when considering that a common consequence of "standing up for yourself" is losing a key part of your current support network. It's hard to tell someone to stop being transphobic to you when you carpool with them to work, and it'll get a lot more expensive without them. Can your budget tolerate that cost, or is it the expense that stretches you too far? It's hard to tell someone that they need to be more polite to you when they're the one who helps walk you through legalese. Can you find someone else to do it for you, or are you left floundering? It's hard to tell someone to stop being sexist to you when they're the one writing your reference letter. Do you have someone else who can be your reference, or are they the only one whose letter would be accepted?

In order to be able to stand up for yourself, you need to be able to bear the potential consequence of that person leaving. You need to either have redundancy in your network, or be able to pay for what they did for you. Safety is about more than if someone will hit you.