Too Bad The Prophet Cassandra Never Met Odysseus

Loki transforms himself into a snake and waits for his next victim to approach. Peter enters the room.

Peter: Awe look at the little snek. So smooth, so wiggly, so good.

Loki/Snake: *sticks out tongue*

Peter: Yep, this is one great snek. 10 out of 10 would boop his snoop. *reaches out and lightly pokes snake on the nose* Boop!

Loki/Snake: *blink*

Peter: Well I gotta go patrol. Bye bye smol snek!

Peter leaves the area. Loki transforms back as Thor enters the room

Thor: What happened to proving you feel no attachment to the Spider child?

Loki: His levels of innocence and purity has cracked my stone cold heart. I cannot explain it any other way.

Right. Here is it everything you ever wanted to know about fashion cuts, trends, style, all in one post.

Every example of a trend that existed is list in the above post. So get to know your styles, perfect your image and enjoy mixing trends and different eras together. 😍👌👌

Fanfic Author: AU where everything is the same, except the wise cracking/ sarcastic character is treated with respect.

Me, cracking open a coke at 3am: Ah, the good sh*t

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Outtake.  The snake head of Jason’s Lucius cane gets caught in Dan’s robes. 

peter retaliating against “baby monitor protocol” by changing the names of Tony’s Iron Man protocols

“hey FRIDAY, zoom in on that building over there”

“Old Man Bifocals protocol activated, Boss”

“what the fuck did you just say to me”

How would the entire Batfamily react if Jason won the presidential election?

They would be 100% supportive of him and help in any way they can

Dick would be his VP, making Kory also the Second Lady

Bruce would distance himself from Jason in public to avoid potential conflict of interest and rumors and stuff because of Wayne Industries. But he supports things like taxing the rich and universal healthcare

Tim is appointed head of the FBI

Damian would be the cute kid brother for the public eye that gains Jason popularity

Roy is First Gentleman and they have shared custody of Lian

Stephanie is Secretary of State and Cass takes care of the press in her own unique way. Duke would become head of the defense department as well as give the law enforcement institute the remodeling it so desperately needs

Alfred writes all of Jason’s speeches, because we don’t need another president cursing and saying regrettable things on national television

Master of Death (In Training)  Part 2

Sirius didn’t know what he was expecting when the suggestion was first made. The very air had held its breath as the Order voted, each nervously looking around, to see who had raised their hands in favor of summoning Death.

He hadn’t wanted to do it. After growing up with a dark family, and at the mercy of his mother’s ill-temper hexes, Sirius knew that trying this method would only cost them more than be able to help them. But Albus- it was so weird to now be old enough to call the headmaster by his first name. A part of him still felt like a Hogwarts student overstepping despite the fact he graduated three years ago- had insisted it was the best course of action.

With every new day, the Death Eaters rose in power and it was rapidly approaching a point where they could not be stopped. Already regular civilians were hiding away, slowly bowing to the control and the fear, and it wouldn’t be a far stretch to think no one would try to stop them.

People knew not to even use the name of the Death Eater’s leader, because any who did, died not long after.  That wasn’t a fear that could easily be overcome. The people were losing hope, and once it was all gone, the war would be over.

The Death Eaters will win.

What’s worse, was that Albus had claimed a prophecy had been made, which strongly indicated to his unborn grandson or the unborn child of his friends being the only thing to stop Voldemort. 

If they didn’t do the summons James, Lily, Frank, and Alice would have to go into hiding for who knows how many years. There wasn’t even a guarantee they will survive.   This plan could save them from such a fate, could allow their kids to grow up in a world of peace. 

Sirius knew this. He understood it. But he still didn’t want to summon Death, it was desperate and it may not even work.

But whatever the Order did, they did it together. The majority had ruled, and the summons took place a week later. 

The moment the being arrived it was quite clear it wasn’t human. Dressed in a metallic green cloak that hid half it’s facing, and body through human-shaped- and rather nicely too. Sirius could admit the being was fit. If it was a regular bloke he would climb him like a tree- seemed almost otherworldly, that its mere presence had Padfoot’s instincts screaming at him to run. 

Alice’s soft gasp of “What have we done” echoed every thought in Sirius’s head even as he leveled his wand in order to protect Lily. It was alarming that the first thing Death did upon arriving was single out the two pregnant ladies and even if they couldn’t see its eyes, Sirius knew it was looking right at the round stomachs.

His stomach was rolling so terribly he almost missed Albus offering his soul to Greater Power, who stood there with its arms filled with objects and could almost be called awkward if it wasn’t scaring the living daylights out of everything in the room. 

The outfit was sort of badass he could admit.

But the voice. Oh, the voice. 

It echoed as if though it spoke from some deep cave, and it overlapped with other voices. To his ears, he could pick up different baritones, as if though he wandered into a male bathroom and everyone choose to speak at once. It was the one real sign that whatever stood before him wasn’t a human. 

That’s why he, like an idiot, got the things attention when it pulled such a baffling action of checking its employee manual.

Thankfully it didn’t take offense and after a few flipped pages it names the price. 

Now here he was handing over his black socks to the being that was smiling wildly at them all. It’s perfectly white teeth gleaming in the darkened room, as it thanks everyone politely for their socks, making more than one person uneasy.

Albus had truely seen pained to part with his pair, more so then his own soul, and that made no sense at all to Sirius until Death frown when it touched them. “Oh, these were the last thing your sister gave you, her last “I love you” that she made with her own two hands. I’m sorry for taking them.” 

And it really did sound apologetic, but it made Albus tense like a wooden board and back away rapidly from the Great Power.

The being even folded all the socks with great care, leaving the objects it held hanging in the air as it casually did some quick laundry. Once the Order had handed over their clothing, it flipped through the silver binder again, visibly mouthing the words it read before it reached out a black-gloved hand to pat the socks, sending them away to who knows where.

Around him, a few of his friends gasp, and it wasn’t until Sirius’ socks vanished did he realize it was because they, like he, sense a deal with Death be sealed. As if his very soul had been stamped. He felt dirty, Sirius really wanted to take a bath.

“Alright.” Death said, placing his hands on its hips and spreading its stand. For a moment it seemed young, and though Sirius could not tell what age it actually was, he got the feeling it was somewhere between late teens, early twenties. Wasn’t it just bizarre to think he is almost the same-physical at least- age as Death?

 “So it says here, that you all hear me differently? To not be confusing my pronouns are he/him and you can call me Harry.”

Sirius’s brain melted. “James?”

“Yeah?”

“Did Death just tell me its preferred pronouns and call itself Harry?”

“Yeah.” James at least sound just as confused as he was so Sirius didn’t feel too bad about not understanding what in the world was going on with this summon.

Harry-actual- Death frowns at them  “What’s wrong with my name?”

“Nothing’s wrong with it” Lily is quick to assure, though she is most likely reconsidering the name she had picked out for his unborn godson. “It’s a lovely name.” 

Harry-Actual-Death smiled at her, it could have been a friendly one if it didn’t feel like his life candle was about to be blown out. Sirius shifted to put himself beside James and have Lily safely behind him. On his right, Remus quickly fell into formation blocking the redhead woman more, while Peter shifted to Lily’s side with a whimper.  “Thank you. I’m named after my grandpa on my mother’s side.”

No one knew what to say to that. 

It was Fabian, in a fit of madness or brilliance who knows, that managed to get words out of his mouth. “I’m sure he’s very proud his grandson took over the family business?”

Harry-Actual-Death looked stumped, looking like someone just tried to pull down his trousers or something then he beamed. “No one’s ever said something like that to me. Thank you.” 

Then he turns his head back to his binder flipping through it and reading a bit more. With a snap of its finger’s Fabian stumbled backward with a loud pain gasp turning deathly pale. Everyone froze while his brother bristled “What did you do to him!?”

Harry-Actual-Death turned its unseen eyes onto Gideon, who stood his ground despite the slight shake of his knees and smiled  “I took away the Dragon Pox in his lungs. Until our contract is terminated I can heal you all within some limitations. He would have died in a year and I don’t want to make Mrs. Weasley sad.”

 “My chest doesn’t hurt anymore.” Fabian breathes rubbing at his upper torso. He looks down at it with wonder in his eyes. “It’s…it’s been hurting for so long…I just…”

“Yeah about that.” Harry-Actual-Death jumps in. The rest of the Order swing their heads between the two groups unsure of who to look at, though none of them lower their wands. “I don’t understand why you didn’t get that checked out. If it hurt to take breathes you really should have gone to a healer.”

Gideon looks beyond pained “You were sick and you didn’t tell me?”

“We…we’re at war. I didn’t want to worry you more then you needed to when I realize I wasn’t going to live through it.” Fabian admits. Sirius is quite sure he is not the only one that wants to beat the idiot’s head in. How could he not have said anything!? His condition could have made everything that much more dangerous, what if he was in the middle of a fight and had an attack? He could have gotten himself and his brother killed!

 The twins suddenly freeze, as they do that weird thing they do when both of them think the same thoughts and then jerk their heads to Harry-Actual-Death. “Wait, what does Molly have to do with this? She’s not part of the Order, she didn’t sign a contract with you!”

Sirius could understand their worried, a new fear of what that hinted at, meant that his baby brother could have just been unwillingly added to the contract. He hadn’t talked to Regulus in a few years but that didn’t mean he wanted his brother in Death’s hand!

Harry-Actual-Death shifts around on his feet awkwardly, almost as if embarrassed. “She’s really nice, she gives warm hugs and she gave me cookies once.”

At the while Order’s wide eye bafflement Death says defensively.  “I was a kid back then and she didn’t know how much it meant to me. Plus she can be kind of scary when angry. I just don’t like seeing her upset.”

Sirius really, really, wanted to sleep now. Apparently, literal Death was scared of Molly Weasley. Tiny, plump, and motherly Molly Weasley. Also apparently being a grim reaper was a family business and Death could age while running around the mortal world in its childhood visiting people which made no sense whatsoever and- oh.

“You just inherited your position then?” Sirus asks forgetting himself.  “That’s why you’re a trainee. You really are new on the job.”

Harry-Actual-Death nods “Yes” 

“Then how are we supposed to win a war!” He doesn’t mean to sound so frustrated but Merlin’s beard they summoned Death, they were willing to give up their souls and they may have crossed more than one line, to end up with not prepared baby Death! 

Harry-Actual-Death smiles at him, in a way that makes ice settle inside of his whole body and Sirius’s frustration disappears for full out mind-numbing terror. It’s a little crocked but it weary and confident with just the touch of non-human that gives it that extra fear-inducing touch.  “Oh not to worry Sirius, I’ve killed enough. I can get the job done. The Death Eaters won’t win. You can’t cheat Death.”

The room falls into a tense silence everyone now more aware of what they have really done. A few minutes ago, Harry-Actual-Death, almost felt….well almost felt like a person, but now, they were once again reminded that this was a Great Power, the end. 

Death. 

“Y-you know my name” He manages to gasp out.

He gets a weary smile.  “Yes. I know every living thing’s name because I know when they stop living.”

Well, what the flying fuck do you say to that?  “That’s kind of hot”

Harry-Actual-Death’s face turns red. It’s hard to say if it’s from anger or flustered.  “Excuse me!?”

Sirius swings wild eyes to Remus begging for rescue all while cursing his loose tongue. He didn’t mean to say that, it was a reflex, born of years of sassing people and flirting with attractive blokes. His friend is quick to step forward.  “Should we focus on how to stop the Death Eaters now?”

“Um, yeah, ugh sure” Harry-Actual-Death stutters in that strange multiple voices “Death Eaters. Got to go and….Death them. Yup.”

He moves it cloaked head to the whole room asking at large.  “You all just wanted that right? Stopping the war, beat Voldemort, and making sure Neville and Harry grow up safe?”

Alice and Lily jerk in shock at mention of their kids but everyone nods or mumble agreement. Harry-Actual-Death accepts this with shuffling feet, grabbing the floating items and hastily bids them a farewell.

He bleeds into shadows that race across the room and disappears. But Sirius did not miss how he could feel Harry-Actual-Death’s gaze on him, his face a healthy red, and shy nervous little shifts on his feet right before he departed and he thinks with one startling moment of what that could mean.

As always James, his best mate who knows what he is always thinking figures it out and blurts. “Padfoot I think Death has a crush on you. How do you feel about that?”

“I….I’m a little flattered actually.”  How metal is it to say Death has a crush on you?  “Also scared Prongs. Very, very, scared.”

Cité des Démons; Part 3

Summary: The Dupain-Chengs have had enough of Paris, they’re tired of their daughter being bullied by those she once called her friends. In an effort to escape the pain of Paris they move to the most crime ridden city in the world for a spice of something new.

Note: I changed the year things happened if you couldn’t tell. Instead of becoming Ladybug at thirteen it happened at the age of twelve. This part is Marinette explaining to the Bats (minus Barbara) about her past, what happened in Paris, and why she should help them.

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

•••

Marinette had given both Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, otherwise known as Batman and Robin respectively, when she jumped off a building the first time only to have a yoyo appear at her side and used as a grappling hook. When they met on a roof a bit away she just laughed at their stunned faces, taking a bit of pride in it. The girl missed free running but Gotham wasn’t her territory and she wasn’t going back to Paris unless the Akumas come back. She seriously was having withdrawls when it came to the lack of a superhero identity. 

Keep reading

there is a tendency with history, i think, because we’re so far removed from it, to kind of forget that all of the people were people

a child 10,000 years ago left a handprint on a wall. they were fingerpainting. a viking climbs up a rock just to carve the words “this is very high” 10ft off the ground. somebody centuries… milennia… ago burned their dinner so thoroughly that they buried the ruined pot in the backyard rather than attempt to clean it. shakespeare got drunk and wrote dick jokes. tutankhamun was a little boy who liked ducks more than anything. a roman carves his name into a monument in another country saying “i was here”. a prisoner, centuries ago, in the tower of london scratches lines into the wall as a tally marking the days. a medieval monk scrawls in the margins bemoaning the boredom of his work.

every human being across history has said “i was here. i lived. i loved. i made something. i laughed. i cried. please do not forget me”

Batman: So what do you do?

Ladybug: I fight all the villains in Paris.

Batman: I've never heard of villains in Paris.

Ladybug: Yeah, cuz I do my job.