Bangerrrrrrrr

the three inventions the world needs the most are cure for cat allergy, strap-on you can feel, and cigarette that’s good for you. scientists get on this right now please

i can't wait to be 60 so i can tell my life story in the youtube comments section of my favorite songs

hey um i’ve got some bad news. we mulled your boyfriend. he fell in the wine and we mulled him. yeah with the cinnamon sticks.

🕳

if i got jigsawed and woke up in some moldy room with a makeshift bear trap on my head or whatever i wouldn't even let it phase me. i'm not willing to be taught lessons i'm not paying attention to a puppet. i would close my eyes and visualize abstract forms in jewel tones until a machine tears me asunder. now we've both wasted our time and you won't be able to return anything in this room to ace hardware. what did YOU learn, old man

remember being 8 and world records were the most important thing in the whole wide world

why am i late to every poll

1910s guy who calls including left-handed characters in stories forced diversity