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sonic says

underrated form of humor: just making shit up in past tense

how many boobs am i allowed to give before it explodes

big fan of "one william" as a quantity. keep it up

character misses their shot and the villain goes "ha! you missed." and the main character goes "did i?" and then shoots the villain again while they're frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead

I’m like 99% sure I have some kind of learning disability because words hard. But like reading them. Me and a friend are working on a slideshow for our honors history final and in the time I’ve made 1 slide she’s made like 5 because I physically could not read the article I was using as a source.

And it isn’t like this is the first time it’s happened. This girl letting me copy her work is the ONLY reason I’m passing that class. Mostly because the class is literally everything I was moved out of regular history last year. Last year regular history was all physical paperwork and stuff and honors was mostly quick presentations you made in like 15 and then presented (it was also usually in groups so I usually just let them make the slides and then I presented because I actually like talking in front of people). But this year honors history is all physical work from the books and this is only the 3rd presentation we’re doing.

English class is also my enemy. And biology. But the biology teacher is my old soccer coach so he’s a little bit easier on my because I’m one of his “special kiddos”. The English teacher however has this savior complex thing going on where she’s all like “I wanna help you find ways to want to learn” and “I just know you can do so much better if you just tried a bit more” and other typical copy paste teacher wanting to help the neurodivergent kid stuff like that.

But I’m also like 90% sure she bumped my grade up no reason because like a month ago I was failing her class and now I have a C? Like I’m not complaining but also I didn’t do anything. Pity points I guess

wish we had more internal organ emojis

One time after a band event one of my (debatably) straight guy friends copied a greeting or something one of our other friends did and then quickly followed it up with “that was gay I’m sorry” and I being right there and exhausted just said “it’s okay the gays forgive you” did the little cross thing that Christian’s do when they pray or whatever and followed that up by saying “in the name of Cavetown, girl in red, and Demi Lovato I ,a gay, give you permission to do things as flamboyantly as you want and it will never be gay” and I think about this event every so often because it is so funny to me that that was the first instance of him acting all girly that he apologized for it. Like he’s done so much more but a little leg kick, a hand in the hip, and a slightly pinched up voice is gay enough that he felt the need to apologize.

lord the peasants are so loud today