Wow I Thought I Was The Only One Who Had To Deal With The Door Thing! The Attic Door Of Our House Is

oh no

Oh No

OH NO

well shit

Hi have a thing I made in 30 minutes only some french canadians may understand

A thought about the Seven Liberal Arts

(Or, I gush about science and what that means for Dandelion/Jaskier for too long)

So we know that overall Dandelion’s iterations from the games, books and whatnot have gone to Oxenfurt University to study the Liberals Arts. I thought upon seeing Dandelion’s diploma in-game and reading this, that I already knew what that was, but after reflecting on it I realized I didn’t actually know anything about them!  So if some of you didn’t know like me, the Seven Liberal Arts are  grammar, rhetoric, logic, arithmetic, geometry, music and astronomy.

And like, how freaking interesting. Sure, by the time Dandelion and his other adaptations were around I’d imagine Geometry, math and astronomy were not quite what they are today, but if I recall they were still considered pretty advanced subjects!

Algorithms were already invented by the Arabic people, as well as cryptography and algebra (though not as refined as it is right now due to the development of calculus and such other things). 

If Dandelion would learn them I think would depend, I don’t actually know if these reached Europe at the time (or if the circumstances of The Witcher universe might affect the creation of such things) but for some reason I’d like to think Dandelion would have learned cypher. 

  Pythagoras’s theorem were also been around for a long while and even on itself it’s one hell of a powerful tool (SO much of calculus/advanced geometry just comes from that one freaking equation it’s insane!!). Hell, someone measured the earth with great accuracy in the 3rd century BCE using only math! 

On more present discoveries, the Fibonacci sequence would have just been discovered in the 1200s. Does Dandelion learn of it, does he have an opinion?

But onto astronomy: what did we actually know at the time? A lot, actually, considering the modern telescope wasn’t invented by Galileo yet ! The earth had been found round for quite a while by now. Similarly they also knew the solar system was in a heliocentric model, but it was not used because the church wasn’t into it (something about the earth being in the center idk why they really cared man. some speculate it’s also because a lot of stuff was forgotten after the era of Hellenism, I kind of think it’s a mix of both.) Though considering the church doesn’t exist on the Continent and the Church of the Eternal Fire (who I’d argue are the in-world equivalent) don’t count me as the type to have enough power or have those kinds of value, I’d like to think they would not care about astronomy, and hence the heliocentric system wasn’t banned. All I’m amounting to is that I’d be curious to hear what Dandelion thinks the solar system looks like!

there was also a lot known about the planet’s movements (Retrogrades were well known), constellation, sky maps what have you at the time. Not to mention, everyone had been spooked by SN1054 (The Supernova that led to the Crab Nebula). Hearing the Continent’s reaction to some fuck-off “star” that was brighter than Venus showing up in the sky one spring evening would be pretty funny I bet. 

So since I do like the netflix rendition that would be quite funny to explore too. As someone who was thought some of the things listed above to a post-secondary level, I can assure you that no matter how dumb Jaskier acts he could still be well versed in everything mentioned above. There is this thing which I like to call Dumbass University Syndrome, which describes someone who can do whatever is necessary for the academic level pretty decently but besides that? Head completely empty. Dumb of Ass. (I’d like to point out I’m not calling out anyone here, as I myself have Dumbass University Syndrome)

On another note, Astronomy and such other subjects were actually oftentimes restricted to something only for high society and nobility. So on another very funny note, Witchers, who themselves are not nobles get disturbed by astronomy facts, specifically the ones you don’t notice unless you pay a lot of attention. 

So, in totality, imagine Jaskier who will walk in potential danger but somehow he’s also one hell of a clever cookie. Like, once he and Geralt were being threatened of having no coin at all. Jaskier had just scratched his chin, gone to write something down in his journal, came back and given Geralt a peice of paper with numbers scribbled on it. He told him: “Here. you follow that line. You don’t spend above that number. I follow this one.”

Follow the next week and it’s like they never even had a problem at all. Though it’s not the first time Jaskier had sat down with his travel book to write something and came up with a clever idea for once.

Geralt had came upon a pretty large ammount of herbs he needed. The Witcher is a pretty organized man but just organizing everything to stash them correctly was going to take all evening and he knew it.

In came Jaskier, who sat down with his booklet for maybe a few minutes, then sat next to Geralt and told him: “Make groups of two, side by side then combine the groups and sort them in alphabetical orders. like this. then you can organize by kinds”

It didn’t take an hour to organize the herbs.

There was also the time in which Geralt had ripped his shirt. The strip of linen he had was not long enough to repair it, until Jaskier took one look at the strip of fabric, scribbled something in his journal and showed it to Geralt. He’d drawn a rectangle tilted to ressemble a diamond shape. “What if you sew it on like that?”

it was long enough.

After a while Geralt decides to sneak a peek in Jaskier’s journal just to realize he literally can’t read anything in there because it’s all cypher (to ward off potential rivals from stealing his ideas).

Sometimes while they camp outside Jaskier will something look at the sky quietly. Then he’ll raise his hand and start comparing things to his fingers?? What was the bard doing?? He’ll note things down from time to time as well and it takes an ambarassing ammount of time for the Witcher to realize Jaskier’s observing the stars 

Sometimes when they meet after the winter he’d also talk about his opinion on the most recent solar system diagrams he read about in Oxenfurt. Geralt kind of hates it because if he was going to learn that the moon changed sizes or perhaps sometimes moved closer to them, he didn’t want to learn it from Jaskier.

Jaskier: So I told that man that that Geocentric system of his was completely moronic because How in the hell does it explain why Venus retrogrades? like what, are we just supposed to assume she likes going backwards every now and again??

Geralt, internally: What the Fuck, Venus goes backwards???

Jaskier: And what about Mercury? does he just follow Venus around for a bakward walk? And that buffoon has the galls to call himself an astronomer!

Geralt, sweating profusely: What the FUCK- 

Some day he meets Vesemir too.

Vesemir: So you know Astronomy! All right, then, heard of spring of 1054? What was up with that big glowing star that just showed up then disappeared?

Jaskier: Oh that one? we don’t actually-

Vesemir: What do you mean, you don’t know? A star dissapears maybe seventy years ago and you still don’t know why??

 lambert, who was just passing by: A STAR DISSAPEARED?

Jaksier: Yeah don’t worry about it it happens from time to times, though I’d never seen it, personally-

Vesemir: IT HAPPENED MORE THAN ONCE?!

Geralt, disturbed: wait THEY CAN JUST DO THAT-

But then the very next minute the bard burns himself because of cauldron vapor because “it’s water, water can’t burn me!”. Geralt wonders, while he’s treating the bard’s burns, how the hell someone with so much academic knowledge could be so stupid.

Okay so it took me an entire ass game about magical and discriminated monster hunters to realize my Type is men who would definitely bully me for my lunch money? Have I really sunk so low??

I thought I might as well post my Star Wars stuff here too, so have some Chiss children. I like to imagine the chiss have traditional wear made to withstand extreme cold. They've been underground on Csilla for a while, so the traditional wear could be reserved for like some ceremonies or holiday celebrations that involves going back to the surface (festivals maybe?). Off-worlders use it for the colder months.

Pompoms and little appliques on pouches and coats are popular for kids, with animals and snowflakes designs being very popular. That one on with the stick is a young Thrawn, who insisted to have the expansionary defense fleet logo on his coat. I also like to think he would still have his snowflake pouch and he wears it at the belt on his current traditional outfit.

I’m not original but I made some Witcher OC based on owls because I love owls! (I also made a dragonfly Witcher down below if you’re interested)

He would be just the Owl Witcher Josef. Like other treasure hunts he would be mentioned in an inventory list written by a servant to his master, who thought Josef was Sketchy and so requested his belongings be checked. The inventory list indicates he carried patents for armor and weapons. 

I didn’t really make much research on what boosts it would give but I’d guess the weapons could focus on bleeding/staggering? The armor could focus much the same things as other Witcher gear and maybe some stamina bonuses as well?. (Though, and I know it’s dumb, it giving you bonuses in hand-to hand combat is something I would want because I think it would be funny to fist fight things viably.)

also as a bonus, a much less detailed drangonfly witcher because dragonflies are peak, naturally bioengineered killing machines that I love with my whole heart.

While making Han, pictured here it kind of dawned to me that his mutations would be very different than that of a Witcher. 

(This is edge incoming btw) 

So, instead of having a Drangonfly school, in my head they’re a specific faction of Witchers made to be a bigger fish rather than someone with a monster hunting profession. Like Dragonflies, they hunt year round of their own will. Their extra mutations make them capable of eating a variety of the monsters they hunt, as to be able to go without needing human food. A sad drawback of this is that some Dragonflies will amount to just eat anything, humanoids included. When this happens they’re deemed too dangerous and are hunted down by other Witchers.

some of their mutations have aim in making them in complete control over nearly every joint they have individually, but the process often messes with their bodies’ nervous systems and gives them tics/nervous reflexes. The mutations also affect the pigment of their skin and their body’s ability to produce hair, so their skin tone ressembles that of Geralt when he drank potions and the hair on them grows patchy and uneven.

Dragonfly Witchers are drifters who mostly unlearned their human behaviors while retaining their application memory. They hunt and that’s basically what they know. though, some blurred memories could sometimes make Dragonfly Witchers migrate towards their previous schools during the winter, though the reason as of why they are drawn there or where the keep is exactly has been forgotten. 

In-Game you’d first hear of Han from Vesemir. He says he caught wind about one of the Dragonfly Witchers that came from the Wolf school, though he didn’t believe it at first, thinking all were long gone. 

You’re informed Han had begun to hunt humans. You can then follow a Side-quest to go hunt him down, which will give you his entire Dragonfly gear in return, swords included. You also have the option to capture him and attempt to help him, though I deem this could also go bad and you’d have to kill him anyway. You’d also get extra options to ask Vesemir about Han, who had helped train him when he was still following regular training, but had not seen or heard of him since he completed his training. He had assumed, after none had spotted him for decades, that he had just died without a soul to tell, like the rest of his kind.

Update: my Type appears to not be men who would definitely bully me for my lunch money, because it turns out I am, in fact, a Lesbian. My apologies for the confusion.

That being said /women/ who would bully me for my lunch money tho-

Okay so it took me an entire ass game about magical and discriminated monster hunters to realize my Type is men who would definitely bully me for my lunch money? Have I really sunk so low??

I was really happy to see people liked the chiss children so have more of baby Thrawn having fun in the snow. Plus a rendition of how the adult equivalent of the traditional wear would look like on Thrawn (he has his snowflake pouch of course!). I know it's somewhat been debunked but I will die on "the chiss are a long haired culture" hill.

(also wanted to say sorry for how muddy some of the lines look, my eraser has been acting up recently and idk why :/)

Of Witchers and Children

As I really like to snoop in on the conversations the NPCs have in The Witcher, I realised a good part of the NPCs that are nice to you (without you doing something like a contract to win their favor) are kids. Even then, they just run up to you and ask you a question, which even if some of them are not really positive (Like “do Witchers really eat little kids with their stew” or something like that), it’s a step forward from their adult counterpart, who want you out their sight as quickly as possible.

To mention as well, me realising the statement above made me grow a soft spot for the kid NPCs. As in, they’re the only NPCs I purposefully don’t knock over, and if I have a chance to help one I drop everything and go do whatever it is they need (It almost got me killed once lmao).

So, inspired by all of that, I have a few thoughts where Witchers must have realized this diffrence in treatment and made an unwritten rule to be nice to kids as much as possible. Witchers who don’t are considered assholes and untrustworthy. and just them being more open to interacting with kids because of it would be so cute! 

Going back to the kid who asks you if you eat children, some Witcher would just say: “No, I don’t eat children. I only eat mean adults who are not nice to them.”

The children NPCs also compliment your medallion a bunch, and I would expect Witchers would take kindly to that. I assume their medallion to be a prized possession of theirs, so maybe they would mutter a little thank you (You have no idea how much I wish I could do that in-game) with a small smile. To add, wouldn’t it be so cute if the big “scary” Witcher would kneel on the ground to be on the same level as the kid and ask, “You wanna see it?”. The Witcher would show off his medallion and say “Yes it’s a (insert animal of his school). My school likes them. When I’m near monsters and magic, it hums.” And little things like that. (also, a joust like “wow it’s humming right now! Are you magic??” with a theatrical gasp would make itself in the conversation somewhere.)

When you go to a school in Novigrad, one of the little girl NPC exclaim she would be a witcheress when she grows up as they are playing in the courtyard. a little boy makes fun of her because “girls can’t be witchers”.

Now being a Witcher is probably not all fun and the road to become one really isn’t, by any extent. So Witchers themselves would not approve of someone else aspiring to be one, I would assume. Nevertheless, I do not think someone like Geralt, who raised Ciri, would take happily to some little girl being made fun of and told she cannot do something just because she is a girl, especially when it’s his own trade. So, he goes to see the kids and he tells the girl; “You can’t be a witcheress. If you’re a girl in my trade, you’re a _Witcher _and that’s that,” matter-of-factly. Then, maybe he would tell the girl some plant facts (for example, “did you know Witchers use little flowers, like Celandine and Honeysuckle in their potions?” and would tell her some things about the flowers).

Something else for thought; A Witcher would sit on a bench and pull his bestiary from his bag and immediately, the kids playing in the puddles down the street flock to him and ask what he’s reading. The witcher tells them “this is my book about monsters.” To which the kids nod, ask for him to read some to them. They’re given a toned-down lecture about some common monster, alongside how to properly run away from them (with promises they do not try to seek them out or attempt to fight them). To mention, this kind of interaction is really beneficial for the kids. I’d think maybe some Witchers made it a tradition to sit out in the open with their bestiary whenever they arrive at a village, in hopes some kids would flock to them and a short lecture could be given to help keep them safe. (They never just ask. I’d assume parents wouldn’t be keen on being asked if the big scary witcher could tell the kids about monsters, of all things. I’m certain they would get the wrong idea, as in, witcher’s trying to snatch a kid to make more Witchers.)

And last of my running thought, some kid meets Aiden and Lambert while they travel and tells lambert he has eyes like a kitty cat. To which Lambert corrects the kid saying he is a wolf. So he has eyes like a wolf. Aiden is the kitty cat here. Aiden just nods along as if the difference really is that important.

Do you guys care for some really bad shitposts? Dosen’t matter, I sketched some and took bad pictures of them anyway.

Plus a pencil drawing of Jaskier wearing “Armor”, or as close to armor as he’ll get`: A Freya Warrior’s armor redesigned to fit his style.

Pictures are captioned if you can’t read my handwriting